When the Darkness Doesn't Yield

Gavin Ortland

I always thought sadness was a milder emotion. Other feelings—say, anger or love—are fierce, like stormy waves tossing you about. But sadness (so I thought) is more like a gray cloud that hangs about you.

Recently I went through a deeper experience of sadness. It wasn’t as terrible as what some Christians endure, but it wasn’t mild, either. Sometimes it felt fierce and unrelenting, like a wave crashing over me. For a few moments, it felt black and invincible, like Bane standing over a broken Batman.

Those who have endured such seasons know what a terrible experience it is. The feeling of aloneness. The lethargy that attaches like a shadow. The incessant low-grade despair, like a dim grinding noise in the distance, always humming. The shocking alarm when certain things don’t excite you anymore, and then (of course) the dreadful question that follows: Will they ever again?

How do we find God in such seasons? I don’t have it all figured out, and there may be moments when nothing seems to help. In cases of clinical depression, it’s important to seek professional help, and there may be other resources we need to take advantage of as well, such as consulting a doctor. 

In and with all this, here are some spiritual practices that I’d recommend. Those in the throes of severe, debilitating depression may not be able to approach all of these yet—but in the less extreme circumstances that many of us face, these habits may help keep a candle burning when the darkness does not yield. 

1. Run to the Psalms.

The Psalms are precious friends to sufferers. They show us that the Bible has categories for our emotions; we haven’t fallen off the radar screen. In fact, some portions of Scripture were themselves occasioned by feelings of deep grief (psalms of lament, Lamentations, and so on).

Moreover, the Psalms teach us to connect the dots between our emotions and our theology. They help us to not simply listen to our feelings, but also—as Martyn Lloyd-Jones counseled—to talk back with truth.

One of my favorites is Psalm 42:11:

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God. 

I love the question why?. It’s like the psalmist is reasoning with his sadness, exposing its strangeness and arbitrariness. In the gospel, we have the resources we need to argue with our emotions, rather than merely listen to them.

2. Acknowledge your sadness to the Lord.

I preached recently on Psalm 23. I talked a lot about my favorite little line in there: I shall not lack. It’s a beautiful expression of knowing God as shepherd—having our deepest needs fully met in him.

I’ve also found strange comfort in admitting my frequent distance from David’s experience. To be able to plainly acknowledge, “I lack”—there’s a kind of refuge in those words, a refuge distinct from the actual meeting of the need. Hanging in that space of honesty and vulnerability provides an open channel to richer intimacy with God.

Thankfully, he doesn’t despise us, but warmly welcomes us when we admit: I lack.

3. Find a friend.

Some Christians can unhelpfully aggravate times of suffering through glib advice. But a friend—a true friend—can also help get you through (Prov. 17:17).

Comfort is a legitimate part of Christian relationship. Comfort amid affliction is one of the blessings of the gospel—and this comfort doesn’t only descend vertically from Christ, but also spreads horizontally through Christians (2 Cor. 1:4–7). Paul also speaks of being refreshed by other Christians (Rom. 15:32; 1 Cor. 16:18; 2 Cor. 7:13; 2 Tim. 1:16).

In my time of sadness I developed a practice that was enormously helpful: I found three to five friends with whom to text and pray regularly for the purpose of encouragement.

One of them—a sweet, older saint—was battling cancer. We texted almost every day. It made a huge difference.

4. Choose hope.

I don’t think it’s right to say that hope is just a matter of choice. Sometimes there are complicating factors, such as brain chemistry. In such a case, simply telling someone “choose hope” can be unhelpful, and it’s wise to involve someone with professional training. 

At the same time, choice matters. In my experience, which has been far milder than that of others, it’s possible to fight the feeling of hopelessness through an act of the will. This isn’t all you need, but it’s one thing you need.

Despair can be stronger temptation than lust. 

Sometimes you have to struggle to make this choice. Despair can be stronger temptation than lust. Sometimes you have to take a stand against it with all your might, like Gandalf shouting, “You shall not pass!” to the Balrog. There’s a way to say, in small moments of the day, through an act of the will: “No. I will remember heaven. I will remember childhood happy memories. I will remember the promises of God. I will remember Calvary. I will remember sunrises, and soap, and fried chicken, and white sand, and blue skies, and running water. I will choose hope today.”

5. Meditate on the crucifixion of Jesus.

The cross is precious to me for so many reasons, but one of them is it takes the shame out of suffering. Even the all-holy Son of God sank down into the darkness, and couldn’t rise. He received taunts and blows, yet didn’t scramble to vindicate himself. He was accused, betrayed, and forsaken by everyone. The darkness did not yield.

His suffering not only cancels our guilt, it also shines a light on our path when we walk in the darkness. It reminds us: Even Jesus has been here! And he defeated it.

6. Use the gospel to fight the chronic guilt of suffering.

Guilt loves pain. In fact, guilt and pain are allies. Pain launches an open assault, and then guilt follows with a secret attack from the rear, bombarding you with nagging thoughts like:

• “Quit feeling sorry for yourself!”

• “Your quiet time was lame. That’s why you feel this way.”

• “God is punishing you. This is how he really feels about you.”

Sometimes, of course, our sadness is caused by our sin. Other times, sadness is sinless. Often, it’s mixed. But whatever the case, we must fight against the cloudy, clinging guilt that deadens our sense of God’s favor in Christ. We must, again and again, wash our consciences in the gospel (Heb. 10:22) and taste afresh the joy of being truly, fully, irrevocably forgiven.

I don’t know everything, but I know this: Our deepest need is always to know that, through the gospel, right in the midst of our mess, God sincerely loves us. In Christ we aren’t just formally accepted, but embraced with a willing delight and affection—like how I love my kids, but much better.

Make this your constant refuge, your deepest hope: The One before whom every knee will bow has set his affection and favor on you. This truth is more certain than the rising of the sun, and its power to help you is inexhaustible. 

Gavin Ortlund (PhD, Fuller Theological Seminary) is a husband, father, pastor, and writer. He serves as senior pastor of First Baptist Church of Ojai in Ojai, California. Gavin blogs regularly at Soliloquium. You can follow him on Twitter.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/when-the-darkness-doesnt-yield/

A Psalm Every Day: Steps for Walking Through Trials

Article by Lindsey Tollefson

When I was eight weeks pregnant with my son, my doctor took one look at the ultrasound and told me that he was not going to live. She said to give her a call when the miscarriage started and I left the office with an ultrasound bill and a lump in my throat.

Despite the sick feeling in my heart, I wanted to cling to Christ and glorify God despite the devastation I felt.

A verse kept ringing through my head, “Consider it all joy when you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:1). How could I consider it joy that my doctor told me my son would soon die? James wasn’t just saying “rejoice despite your trial,” he was saying “rejoice because of your trial.” How could I turn to help me obey this command from the heart?

Songs to Sing Under Dark Clouds

I turned to the Psalms for comfort and wisdom, and I invite all who are walking through difficult circumstances to do the same. The Psalms give us the tools to train our minds to rejoice in all circumstances. Have you ever faced trouble and wished you understood to consider it joy? Have you wondered how you can actually be happy to see a storm cloud hovering over your life? The Psalms prepare us to treasure Christ through suffering, and train our hearts and minds to bring God glory and find joy in all things.

If you are slandered or betrayed, train your heart to say, “In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:4) If you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness, train your heart to say, “My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26). When you are facing financial trouble, train your heart to say, “Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; He will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand. Some boast in chariots and some in horses, But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God” (Psalm 20:6–7).

Training our hearts and minds with the Psalms gives us the perspective to be able to welcome trials with the open-armed joy that James talks about. The Psalms teach us how to live out our purpose to glorify God, even with our troubles.

Through Sorrow to Praise

Throughout the Psalms, we see the writers go through times of confusion, times of grieving and lament, and times of rejoicing. In all those circumstances, they show us how to respond in a way that brings glory to God. They show us how to be completely satisfied in God, how to make God our portion and our strength through times of lament and confusion.

Psalms of Lament

It might seem strange that lamenting would bring glory to God. When David was hiding from Saul, he wrote these lyrics,

With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! (Psalm 142:1–3)

Look at the example David gives us when fleeing from those who wanted to kill him. He shows us how to talk to God when we are overwhelmed. He pours out his complaints to God, and he finds comfort in knowing that God is directing his path. When we are walking through hardship we can still be honoring God. When we direct our complaints to God instead of to all the people around us, we are showing God that we believe he is the only one who can help.

Psalms of Confusion

Many places in the Psalms, the writer is confused. For example, in Psalm 13, he asks desperate questions,

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? (Psalm 13:1–2)

Have you ever felt like crying out to God, “What is happening? And where are you?” Even these perplexed and desperate cries can bring honor and glory to God. God wants us to search for answers in him, trusting his timing and revelation. When we pursue God more than our most precious things — our work, our family, our friends, our health, our homes, our money — he is glorified. When we let go of all the things we naturally trust in, when we find our only comfort in God, then our confusion finds peace to wait for help from God.

Psalms of Praise

The Psalms train our hearts to praise God. Learning about God’s character is the first step to knowing how to praise him. We can’t praise God without knowing what he is like. The Psalms tell that God is kind, patient, caring, merciful, attentive, beautiful, and holy.

The Psalms show us how to praise God for who he is and for what he has done. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1). When we work with gladness and gratitude, our life becomes a gift to God that glorifies him.

When we praise him during times of blessing, we are reminding ourselves that he is the one who has poured out goodness on us. When we praise him during times of trouble, we are opening our eyes to see all the good he is creating from our ashes. When we praise him for our trials, we acknowledge that he is using our trials as his tool.

Soundtrack of Faith

As it turned out, my doctor was wrong about my son’s story. For seven long months, she continued to predict miscarriage, stillbirth, or a severely malnourished premie. But God heard our prayers and our boy was born healthy and strong at full term.

During my pregnancy, I found so much encouragement by steeping my mind in the Psalms. If you are walking through a trial, I encourage you to do the same. Read a psalm every day. Pray the Psalms when you talk to God. Sing a psalm when your emotions need to be redirected. Recite the Psalms to yourself when you are discouraged, and let the words lead you back to Christ. Listen to the Psalms being sung. Make them the soundtrack of your life.

When the Psalms get into your bones, your heart will be strong enough to see the joy in all trials. You will know how to react when you are confused or disappointed or lost. The Psalms are a good blueprint for glorifying God in all situations.

Lindsey Tollefson is the co-author of Psalms for Trials: Meditations on Praying the Psalms.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/a-psalm-every-day?fbclid=IwAR0ISE2nUknn19jP9I-aHeE4Q7hMmWojxq5VudqOXUAnrYCHkHB-23A6A3k

God Calls You to Suffer

Rick Thomas

Though a “call to suffer” does not bode well in your evangelistic endeavors, there are two (not one) gifts that God gives each person at the point of their regeneration. The first is salvation, of course, and the second one is the “gift of suffering.” Paul said,

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake. – Philippians 1:29

This “second gift” can be such a problem in the believer’s life that it can hinder his growth in Christ. The purpose of suffering is not to make your life miserable but to teach you how to trust the Lord rather than rely on yourself. Self-reliance–a form of unbelief–is your biggest nemesis.

Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him. – Hebrews 5:8

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. – 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

This anti-American message that teaches you to die to yourself (Luke 9:23; Galatians 2:20) is one of the primary means of grace the Lord offers to create an other-worldly reliance on the one and only Superpower. Though the message of death is unnerving at first glance, there are many biblical precedents, including God’s intentional crushing of His Son.

Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief. – Isaiah 53:10

Your Call to Suffer

Occasionally, someone will ask me to help them understand God’s call on their life. While I do not know all that the Lord has in mind for them, I do know He has called every Christian to suffer.

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure?

But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this, you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

The Steps of Jesus

1. He committed no sin.

2. There was no deceit in his mouth.

3. When individuals reviled Him, He did not revile in return.

4. When he suffered, He did not threaten.

5. He always entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds, you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. – 1 Peter 2:18-25

Granted, you will not be saving anyone as Jesus does, but you are called to walk in His steps, which is a path of suffering. The good news is that as you fail to suffer as perfectly as He did, you can confess those failures while continuing on with His death march (1 John 1:9).

Joining Suffering to Your Relationships

It is interesting to me that Peter put his “suffering passage” just before his “marriage passage” and joined the two sections with the conjunction “likewise” so you would know they are connected. How cool is that?

His point is clear: if you don’t have a right view of suffering, you will not be able to live well with your spouse–or anyone else. Without a sound theology of suffering, you will more than likely sin against your spouse the first time he/she does not meet your expectations.

A sinful response to a failing spouse is the exact opposite of how Christ’s responds to you when you fail (John 3:16; Romans 5:8; Matthew 18:35). You cannot overstate the need for sound theology and application of suffering in your life.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:1-7

Purpose of Paul’s Suffering

Could it be, like Paul, that the good Lord brings certain individuals or things into your life so you can learn the obedience that the Hebrew writer talked about? (Hebrews 5:8–he learned obedience through what he suffered.) Learning obedience was without question the purpose of Paul’s suffering.

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Paul’s last sentence in v. 10 is the key to your best life now: “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

Call to Action

1. How would you describe your practical understanding of suffering?

2. How do you need to change your view of suffering so you can learn obedience through your relational or situational suffering?

3. Have you found strength in your weakness like Paul or do you resist the weakness that suffering is supposed to bring into your life?

The Suffering and Glory of Psalm 22

W. Robert Godfrey

Psalm 22 begins with the most anguished cry in human history: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” These are the words that Jesus took on His lips at the depth of His suffering on the cross. His suffering was unique at that point as He offered Himself up for the sins of His people. And so, we have tended to see this cry as unique to Jesus. But such an approach to these words is clearly wrong. Jesus was not inventing unique words to interpret His suffering. Rather, He was quoting Psalm 22:1. These words were first uttered by David, and David was speaking for all of God’s people. We need to reflect on these words and the whole psalm as they relate to Christ and to all His people in order to understand them fully.

The psalm begins with a section dominated by the agonized prayer of David (vv. 1–21). David is expressing in the first place his own experience of feeling abandoned by God. Here is the most intense suffering God’s servant can know—not just that enemies surround him (vv. 7, 12–13) and that his body is in dreadful pain (vv. 14–16), but that he feels that God does not hear him and does not care about his suffering. And this is not just the experience of David. It is the experience of all God’s people in the face of terrible trouble. We wonder how our loving heavenly Father can stand idly by when we are in such distress.

Yet, even in this extreme distress, David never loses faith or falls into complete hopelessness. His anguish leads him to prayer, and the first words of the prayer are “My God.” Even in his suffering and wondering about the ways of God, he does not let go of his knowledge that God is his God. In the midst of his anguish, he articulates that faith. He remembers God’s past faithfulness in Israel’s history: “In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame” (vv. 4–5). Then, David remembers God’s past care in his own personal life: “Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts. On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother’s womb you have been my God” (vv. 9–10). A recurring spiritual remedy in the Psalms is to fill the mind with memories of God’s past faithfulness to assure us of His present faithfulness.

We see David’s hope also in the earnestness of his prayer for present relief. He knows that God can help, and he turns to God as the only one who will help: “But you, O LORD, do not be far off! O you my help, come quickly to my aid!” (v. 19). We must never stop praying, even in our deepest distress.

John Calvin in his commentary concluded that a sense of being forsaken by God, far from being unique to Christ or rare for the believer, is a regular and frequent struggle for believers. He wrote, “There is not one of the godly who does not daily experience in himself the same thing. According to the judgment of the flesh, he thinks he is cast off and forsaken by God, while yet he apprehends by faith the grace of God, which is hidden from the eye of sense and reason.” We must not think that living the Christian life is easy or that we will not daily have to bear the cross.

This psalm is not only the experience of every believer, but it is also a very remarkable and specific prophecy of the sufferings of Jesus. We see the scene of the crucifixion especially clearly in the words, “A company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet—I can count all my bones—they stare and gloat over me; they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots” (vv. 16–18). Here we see that indeed this psalm comes to its fullest realization in Jesus.

Jesus knew this psalm and quoted its first words to identify with us in our suffering, since He bore on the cross our agony and suffering. “Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death” (Heb. 2:14). Jesus does deliver us by becoming our substitute and the sacrifice for our sins.

In the second part of this psalm, the mood and tone change dramatically. Agonized prayer turns to ardent praise. The psalmist comes to be filled with praise: “In the midst of the congregation I will praise you” (v. 22). He calls on his brothers to join him in praise: “You who fear the LORD, praise him!” (v. 23).

This ardent praise is for the success of the cause of God. The failure that at the beginning of the psalm seemed certain is now swallowed up in victory. This success will not just be personal or individual but will be worldwide. The praise rests on the abundant promise: “All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you… . All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust” (vv. 27, 29). After suffering comes the glory of a worldwide kingdom.

God’s success will not only affect the whole world, but will also span the generations: “Posterity shall serve him; it shall be told of the LORD to the coming generation” (v. 30). The picture here is not of a brief time of success for the cause of the Lord, but the assurance that the time of suffering will lead to a time of great spreading of the knowledge of God throughout the earth. And surely, since the time of Pentecost, we have seen the fulfillment of this promise. All around the world today, Jesus is known and worshiped. Even while suffering continues in this world, we have seen Christ’s promise realized: “I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matt. 16:18).

This success is the Lord’s doing, “for kingship belongs to the Lord, and he rules over the nations” (v. 28). He is the active One who ultimately gives victory to His cause. The Lord achieves His triumph through the instruments He uses. And David sees himself as an instrument especially in his proclaiming the goodness and mercy of his God: “I will tell of your name to my brothers” (v. 22). Jesus also is the speaker in verse 22, as we are told in Hebrews 2:12 (this citation shows again how fully the New Testament sees Jesus speaking in the Psalter).

The psalmist, indeed, proclaims the name of God, particularly in terms of His saving mercy: “For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him” (v. 24). Such proclamation is vital to the mission of God in the world. As Calvin wrote, “God begets and multiplies his Church only by means of the word.” Those who have experienced God’s mercy must tell others about it.

While God uses instruments to accomplish His purposes, the glory is His alone, for it is He who acts through them and ensures their success. For that reason, this psalm ends with this firm certainty: “He has done it” (v. 31). Our God hears our prayers, fulfills His promises, and fills us with praise. “From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen” (Rom. 11:36).

As we seek to understand Psalm 22 so that we can appropriate it and use it, we need to see in it the direction of the history of the church: first suffering and then glory. We also need to see something of a pattern of piety for the church and for the individual Christian. The pattern is this: The real and inescapable problems of life in this fallen world should lead us to prayer. Prayer should lead us to remembering and meditation on the promises of God, both those fulfilled in the past and those that we trust will be fulfilled in the future. Remembering the promises of God will help us to praise Him as we ought. As we praise Him, we can continue to face with grace and faith the problems that come daily into our lives.

Posted at: https://www.ligonier.org/blog/suffering-and-glory-psalm-22/?utm_content=bufferd46d8&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=buffer&fbclid=IwAR2_nkzL9f6VNn2eDtPYUOa2T15cg_x-mavTc5QDHjLHKLojgtJyjTt7LPw

God Invites You to Delight Yourself in Him

Randy Alcorn

Psalm 37:4 is a great but often misunderstood verse: “Delight yourselves in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Some people take this to mean that God will give us whatever we think we want. But the key part is “delight yourself in God.” When we delight in the Lord He often changes our heart’s desires to what most honors Him, then grants them to us. It’s not that we always get what we want, but that He teaches us to value and even want what He—in His sovereign and loving plan—gives us.

As we contemplate God, and ponder who He is, we will want what He wants. The desire of our hearts will be to hear Him say to us, “Well done.” And when that day comes, He will flood us with more joy than we can imagine. He will say, “Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21, 23).

But we don’t have to wait until we die to know how He wants us to live! He commands us, for His glory and our good, to delight in Him not just in Heaven forever, but also on this present earth, here and now. 

To delight in God is to be happy with Him and in Him. To do that, we must cultivate our relationship with Him just as we do with other people by spending time with Him, bowing our knee before Him as our Lord, and also spending time with Him as our friend. That’s how we get to know Him, by learning and meditating daily on what’s true about Him. (I recommend these great books: Knowing God by J. I. Packer,  The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer, and Trusting God by Jerry Bridges.) 

In Bible study it’s always helpful to think about what the text says in contrast to what it does not say. It says, “Delight yourself in the Lord.” It doesn’t say, “Sit there and wait for the Lord to come and delight you.”

It’s active, not passive.  God doesn’t spoon-feed us His pleasures; we need to go to His banquet, reach out our hands, and select that delicious cuisine. As surely as it’s our responsibility to put good food in our mouths, it’s our responsibility to move our bodies to open His Word and move our minds toward God, and to seek to delight in Him!

While it’s true that God and His Word are nourishing, just knowing that won’t bring us to the table. We need to turn from our self-preoccupied thoughts and instead seek to cultivate our appetite for God: “Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!”(Psalm 34:8, HCSB).

When I contemplate Christ—when I meditate on His unfathomable love and grace—I lose myself in Him instead of in my hurts and disappointments and fears. When He’s the center of my thinking, before I know it, I’m happy.

Here’s the Good News Translation’s rendering of Psalm 37:4: “Seek your happiness in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desire.” This corresponds to the words of Jesus: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33, NLT).

Augustine said, “Love God and do as you please.” At first this sounds shocking, but it fits perfectly with “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart.” When we find our happiness in God, we will naturally want to do what pleases Him. But it’s up to us to go to Him and ask for His help and empowerment to delight in Him.

God placed just one restriction on Adam and Eve in Eden, and when they disregarded it, the universe unraveled. On the New Earth, that test will no longer be before us. God’s law, the expression of His attributes, will be written on our hearts (Hebrews 8:10). No rules will be needed, for our hearts will be given over to God. We will always delight ourselves in the Lord and He will always give us the desires of our hearts.

Whatever we want will be exactly what He wants for us. What we should do will at last be identical with what we want to do. On God’s New Earth there will never by any difference between duty and delight!

But we don’t have to wait, and we dare not, to discover this. Let’s delight ourselves in Him so that we can enter into His happiness now, not just after we die.

Browse more resources on the topic of happiness, and see Randy’s related books, including Happiness.

Posted at: https://www.epm.org/blog/2019/May/31/god-invites-you-delight-yourself-him?mc_cid=f3b0f4c0d6&mc_eid=3c0fdc7348&fbclid=IwAR0Zn0kNzr8mSLFJTXH7CebxrJ52nVfD0YKaKno48CZXnIVMA-MU5Q1aB3g

Waiting When God Seems Silent

BY RANDY ALCORN

In a time of suffering, David engaged in righteous self-talk about how he should respond in light of God’s goodness: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14).

The call to wait on God is an invitation to trust and hope. It entails believing that one day—even if today is not that day—He will make all things right. In times of waiting, as we seek God in prayer, we must learn to listen to Him as well as talk to Him—to shut out the clatter and quietly wait as He unfolds to us His person, purposes, promises, and plan.

But what about when we wait and listen, and God still seems silent?

God Is Near

In Deserted by God? Sinclair Ferguson discusses what our Christian forefathers called “spiritual desertion”—the sense that God has forgotten us, leaving us feeling isolated and directionless. But through faith, we can affirm God’s loving presence, even when He seems silent and we feel deserted. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8) is a promise God will not break, despite how we feel.

Several years ago, for no apparent reason, I went through four months of depression. I had to learn to trust God for His presence despite what I felt. Eventually, as I continued to open His word daily and seek His face, while still in that depression, I gradually regained my ability to sense and hear Him.

Many of us have walked the Emmaus road (Luke 24:13–32). Overwhelmed by sorrow. Plagued by questions. We wonder where God is. When, all along, He walks beside us.

Is This Your Best for Me?

A pastor friend told me about his experience after his teenage son’s death: “Nearly every morning, for months, I screamed questions at God. I asked, ‘What were you thinking?’ And, ‘Is this your best for me?’ And finally, ‘Do you really expect me to show up every Sunday and tell everyone how great you are?’ Then, when I became silent, God spoke to my soul. He had an answer for each of my questions.”

Waiting on God involves learning to lay our questions before Him. It means that there is something better than knowing all the answers: knowing and trusting the only One who does know and will never forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

Trusting God when we don’t hear Him ultimately strengthens and purifies us. If our faith is based on lack of struggle and affliction and absence of doubt and questions, that’s a foundation of sand. Such faith is only one frightening diagnosis or shattering phone call away from collapse. Token faith will not survive the dark night of the soul. When we think God is silent or absent, God may show us that our faith is false or superficial. Upon its ruin, we can learn to rebuild on God our Rock, the only foundation that can bear the weight of our trust.

His Silence Is a Matter of Perspective

There’s a sense in which God is never silent. He has already spoken in His Word and by becoming man and dying for us on the cross, purchasing our eternal salvation. This is speech, and speech is not silence! What we call God’s silence may actually be our inability, or in some cases (certainly not all) our unwillingness, to hear Him. Fortunately, that hearing loss for God’s children need not be permanent. And given the promise of resurrection, it certainly won’t be permanent.

Psalm 19:1 tells us the heavens shout about God’s glory. Romans 1:20 shows how clearly creation proves God’s existence. God speaks not only through His Word, but also through His world. When my heart is heavy, walking our dog Maggie or riding a bike through Oregon’s beauties is often better than listening to a great sermon or reading a good book.

Still, when we can’t hear God, we can keep showing up and opening His Word, day after day, to look at what He has already said—and done—and contemplate and memorize it until we realize this is not silence but is God speaking to us. Naturally, there remains a subjective sense in which we long to hear God in a more personal way. God spoke to Elijah in “a low whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).

The problem with low whispers is they’re not easy to hear—especially when all around us the wind is howling! Why does God sometimes speak so quietly that it’s hard to hear Him? The answer may be to bring us to the end of ourselves. To prompt us to be still and seek Him. And to build our faith and eventually speak more clearly or heal our hearing problem.

When Life Goes Dark

Martin Luther’s wife, Katherine, saw him discouraged and unresponsive for some time. One day she dressed in black mourning clothes. Luther asked her why. “Someone has died,” she said. “Who?” Luther asked. “It seems,” Katherine said, “that God must have died!” Luther got her point. Since God hadn’t died, he needed to stop acting as if He had.

What can we do when God seems silent and life is dark? We can pray with biblical writers who cry out to God:

To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit. (Psalm 28:1)

O God, do not keep silence; do not hold your peace or be still, O God! (Psalm 83:1)

I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me. (Job 30:20)

We also can remember that, however long the silence seems, God promises it is temporary. Consider Zephaniah 3:17:

The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, he will be quiet in his love, he will rejoice over you with shouts of joy (NASB).

Just because we can’t hear God exulting doesn’t mean He is not rejoicing over us with shouts of joy. A blind or deaf child may not see her father’s face or hear his words, but can learn to sense his love and affection nonetheless. The blood-bought promise states that this brief life will be followed with an eternity in which His children “will see his face” (Revelation 22:4).

My Soul Waits for God

My wife, Nanci, while going through chemotherapy treatments that ended several months ago, read me this from Andrew Murray’s Waiting on God: “It is God’s Spirit who has begun the work in you of waiting upon God. He will enable you to wait. . . . Waiting continually will be met and rewarded by God himself working continually.”

“For God alone my soul waits in silence . . . my hope is from him” (Psalm 62:1, 5). If we lean on Him while we wait, God will give us the grace to wait and to listen carefully as we pray, go to trusted Christ-followers for encouragement, and keep opening His word and asking Him to help us hear Him.

Posted at: https://www.epm.org/blog/2019/May/24/waiting-when-god-seems-silent

Trusting God In Your Waiting Season

by Katie McCoy 

When I was about 8 years old, my family had a bunch of people over for a pool party. I was so excited to jump in with the crowd until my parents told me that since I’d just gotten over being sick, I’d have to sit this party out. (Between the colds and earaches we got to know the pediatrician’s office pretty well). I was disappointed, to say the least. I had my very fashionable goggles and was ready to go, only to find out that “for my good” I would have to sit on the sidelines…by myself…when everyone else was having a party. To my eight-year-old social life, this was devastating. All the people were there, the pool was right there – all I had to do was jump in! I was supremely bummed.

But later, as I was sulking on the porch, my parents surprised me with the reason for the restriction: In just a few days I’d be getting on a plane and traveling 3,000 miles to see my favorite childhood friends. My little 3rd-grade heart was elated! All of sudden I didn’t feel so left out. Another sniffling nose or earache would have made for a rather miserable trip. When I realized that what seemed like a joy-stealing restriction was actually a preparation. Once I realized what was coming, I didn’t mind temporarily sitting off to the side.

While the days of pool parties may have passed, there are still times when it seems like I’m sitting on the sidelines, waiting for some divine revelation to make sense of all the “why’s.” Maybe you’ve been there too, asking God, Where do I go from here? What’s the next step? or Is this ever going to change?

Sometimes we feel stuck waiting for the answer. Or, perhaps we’ve convinced ourselves that we have the answer, but God doesn’t seem to be on the same page. The solution is seemingly right there – you could just jump in! But, for whatever reason, you’ve been given what seems like a joy-stealing restriction or another closed door and you’re left wondering whether God really is the caring, involved Father that He says He is.

But learning to wait on the Lord seems to be an unavoidable aspect of the Christian walk. Miles Stanford said, “God does not hurry in His development of our Christian life. He is working from and for eternity! So many feel they are not making progress unless they are swiftly and constantly forging ahead.” (Principles of Spiritual Growth) If the pace of our lives is in His hands, then even our seasons of silence are for a purpose that goes way beyond our current circumstance. In fact, one biblical woman shows us that how we wait for God is just as important as what we’re waiting for Him to do.

Hannah had wanted just one thing from the Lord – a son. After enduring years of being reproached in her society, ridiculed by the child-bearing second wife, and perhaps feeling forgotten by God, she pleaded with the Lord: “O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life” (1 Sam. 1:11). She prayed, wept, and poured out her soul (v. 15). Then, without any guarantee that the Lord would even fulfill her longing, Hannah got up and “her face was no longer sad” (v. 16).  She trusted the heart of God even before she even knew His answer. She had surrendered herself to whatever He had in store.

But what’s even more striking about Hannah’s request was her focus. In the deepest cry of her heart, her focus was still not on her own happiness. She had already determined that, should God give her the one blessing she wanted – she wouldn’t hold onto it for herself. Hannah vowed that if the Lord gave her a son – the one thing in this life that she wanted – she would give that son back to the Lord, dedicating him to His service.

Perhaps we can learn something from this woman in waiting. Hannah surrendered to trusting the will and timing of God, even if it meant giving back the very blessing she’d hoped for all these years. God did give Hannah a son (1:20), and Hannah gave her son back to God (1:28). It was only when she determined to give God glory in whatever He chose to give her that she was finally blessed with it.

It’s true – we don’t have any guarantee that our specific request will be given. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to hear Hannah’s story and think “Ok-great! All I have to do is want God’s will above all else and then He will have to say yes!”  Our hearts could be entirely surrendered and yielded, and in the wisdom of God, our circumstances may stay the same.  But perhaps what Hannah’s story would teach us today is that when we pursue God for who He is more than for what He can do, our waiting seasons don’t have to be miserable. When we rest in the truth that the same God who ordered our steps (Ps. 37:23) is our loving Father who wants only our good, and gives only good things to His children (Matt. 7:11), then our seasons of waiting can become times of expectant hope. What may seem like a setback or a delay is actually His perfecting preparation. Like Hannah, when our hearts are more intent on displaying the reality of God than obtaining His blessings – when we let go of those hopes we cling to so tightly and surrender to His perfect will – perhaps then we come to a place where He can act for and through us.

What do you find yourself waiting on today? Will you trust that even in your seasons of silence, God has a refining purpose? Sure,  you could jump into the convenient, “quick-fix” solution, tired of feeling restricted and like you’re on the outside looking in. But God has promised that He is good to those who wait for Him (Psalm 27:14) and that if you’re called according to His purpose, He will work all things together for your good (Rom. 8:28).  He has only good in mind for you! Even more, The Lord has already promised that He will fulfill His purpose for you (Psalm 138:8) and that none of those who wait for the Lord will be ashamed (Psalm 25:3). Will you trust his kind intentions for you, even when it feels like you’ve been forgotten? Will you wait for Him to act when it seems like you’ll never see the results?

For since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! (Is. 64:4). Will you wait on the Lord in your waiting season?

Posted at: https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/trusting-god-in-your-waiting-season

How Bad Theology Hurts Sufferers

Article by Vaneetha Rendall Risner

Why does God answer yes to some prayers and no to others? Why does God miraculously heal some people and not others? Why does disaster strike one city and not another?

I’ve been pondering these questions since Hurricane Florence devastated much of Eastern North Carolina last year. I live in the center of the state, and contrary to the foreboding predictions, we were relatively unaffected. In response, a friend said, “I know why we were spared catastrophe and the storm circled our area and went south. I was praying that God would keep us safe and he answered my prayers!”

I had no words.

I know that God answers prayer. And we need to pray. God tells us to ask and it will be given to us (Matthew 7:7). But my friend’s words made me wonder if she thought that no one in Eastern Carolina was praying. I know people whose livelihoods were destroyed in the storm. Everything they owned was gone. They escaped with their lives but nothing material left. Some of them begged God to spare their city.

One Died, Another Lived

What are we as believers to infer from these natural disasters? Can we simply draw straight lines between our requests and God’s answers? Years ago, I heard a pastor tell of his cancer that went into remission. When he told his congregation the good news, several commented, “We knew God would heal you. He had to. So many people were praying for you.”

While the pastor was thankful for others’ prayers, he also knew God did not owe him healing. Faithful believers throughout the ages have earnestly prayed and yet not been healed. The apostle Paul was not healed to show God’s power could be made perfect in Paul’s weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

And then there was my own son, Paul, who died as an infant. We had prayed, fasted, and asked friends to pray for his healing. Several years after his death, we met a man who said when he learned of our loss, “Don’t take this wrong, but we prayed for all of our children before they were born. And they were all born healthy.” We had no words.

Why Did God Save Peter?

In considering the question of when and why God chooses to rescue, I was reminded of Acts 12 which begins: “About that time Herod the king laid violent hands on some who belonged to the church. He killed James the brother of John with the sword, and when he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. . . . So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church” (Acts 12:1–5). Peter was then rescued the very night that Herod was about to bring him out, to presumably kill him as he had killed James.

Why did God let James die and Peter live?

Peter, James, and John were three of Jesus’s closest disciples. These three were often selected to be alone with Jesus. Yet their earthly lives after Christ’s resurrection were markedly different. John was the last of the disciples to die, Peter was rescued from prison in Acts 12, but church history records that he was later martyred by being crucified upside down.

James was the first of the disciples to be martyred. The Bible records that Herod killed James with no elaborating details. We simply know that Peter was spared while James was not. What are we to make of this? Did God love Peter more than James? Was James’s life less important? Did James have less faith? Were people not praying for James?

Our Father Knows Best

Looking at the fuller counsel of the Bible, it is clear that God has plans that we do not understand. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8–9). Because we believe that death is just a passage into eternal life (2 Timothy 1:10), one that all of us will go through, it ultimately doesn’t matter when we pass through it. God numbers our days before they begin, and he alone determines when we will die (Psalm 139:16).

Though we often cannot understand God’s purposes in this life, we can be sure that James’s life as a disciple and his death as a martyr was intentional. Everything God does has purpose (Isaiah 46:10). Because of that, we can be sure that at the time of James’s death, he had accomplished what God had called him to (Philippians 1:6), while Peter’s work on earth was unfinished (Philippians 1:24–25).

Living or dying, being spared or being tortured, being delivered in this life or the next is not an indicator of God’s love for us or the measure of our faith. Nothing can separate us from God’s love, and our future is determined by what he knows is best for us (Romans 8:28, 35–38).

Paul understood this principle well when he said in Philippians 1:21–23, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, that is far better.” Departing this world and being with Christ is far better because eternal life is far better than life on earth. No matter what this life holds, we will eventually be deliriously happy in heaven where God has all of eternity to lavish us with his kindness (Ephesians 2:7).

Suffering Is Not Punishment

Even though I know these truths, I have often been discouraged that others have been rescued while I was still suffering. Prosperity gospel proponents have told me that if I had prayed in faith, my body would have been healed, my son would have been spared, and my marriage would have been restored. It was all up to me. If I just had the faith, I would have had a better outcome.

Their words have left me bruised and disillusioned, wondering what I was doing wrong.

But that theology is not the gospel. God’s response to our prayers is not dependent upon our worthiness but rather rests upon on his great mercy (Daniel 9:18). Because of Christ, who took our punishment, God is always for us (Romans 8:31). He wants to give us all things. Christ himself is ever interceding for us (Romans 8:31–34).

If you are in Christ, God is completely for you. Your suffering is not a punishment. Your struggles are not because you didn’t pray the right way, or because you didn’t pray enough, or because you have weak faith or insufficient intercessors. It is because God is using your suffering in ways that you may not understand now, but one day you will. One day you will see how God used your affliction to prepare you for incomparable weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17). This is the gospel. And it holds for all who love Christ.

Vaneetha Rendall Risner is a freelance writer and a regular contributor to Desiring God. She blogs at danceintherain.com, although she doesn’t like rain and has no sense of rhythm. Vaneetha is married to Joel and has two daughters, Katie and Kristi. She and Joel live in Raleigh, North Carolina. Vaneetha is the author of the book The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/just-have-more-faith?utm_campaign=Daily+Email&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=70927869&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-93tT14cUwkflKZi2ZYuazZsx3FJlziR57wwnSyVGIoXQunnvrG9M82Blt6RqeVIXEqnKJYP3i0Ss37ak4FadilK5N5Zg&_hsmi=70927869

When You Do Not Know What to Do

Article by Dave Zuleger

When was the last time a trial came so swiftly and forcefully that you did not know what to do?

My wife has lived in chronic pain for eight years. Recently, however, she woke up one morning with new health concerns that brought another hard, confusing, and frightening reality — a heavy one laid on top of the one we’re already living with day to day. We had just moved to a new home, and were going to a new church. I was the new pastor of that church. Our newborn was only six weeks old.

We felt like the armies of our circumstances were closing in around us with nowhere to go. As a husband and father, I felt completely off-balance. No one could encourage me. I felt helpless to help my wife, overwhelmed by the weight of her suffering. Why, God? Even after years of her chronic pain — and seeing the good God does through it — I felt like I was back to square one of faith, just clinging by a thread. I was supposed to be pastoring others, but I felt like I could speak but one word to God: “Help.”

Pretending Self-Sufficiency

Around that time, I found a story of a king who felt helpless to protect and care for the people he was responsible for. A king also overwhelmed with fear. King Jehoshaphat finds out that there is a “great multitude” coming soon to attack his people (2 Chronicles 20:1–2) — an army they know they cannot compete with on their own.

Most of us will never feel what he felt; we will never literally be under the attack of a great army marching up to our door. But we can all relate to overwhelming circumstances in our life that make us feel trapped, helpless, and certain we won’t make it much longer. The Bible is honest about how King Jehoshaphat felt when he got the news about the army of certain doom heading his way — he was afraid (2 Chronicles 20:3). His response to that fear is remarkable. He calls a fast in all of Judah and gathers the people to seek the Lord and his help (2 Chronicles 20:4).

This is not a natural human response. If someone asks us how we are doing at church, the answer almost automatically spills out, “I’m good.” Our profiles put our best, most carefully portrayed images of strength and sufficiency forward. We don’t readily admit that we’re often afraid, broken, lonely, despairing, failing in sin, and struggling to see or trust God.

Jehoshaphat could have pretended he wasn’t afraid. He could have acted like he had it all together. He could have gathered the generals and made the best plan possible. Instead, he gathered the people, admitted his weakness, and sought the help of the Lord together — instead, he prayed. He prays, “We are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12). He not only runs to God in prayer himself, but he also calls others to pray with him.

Did You Not, Our God?

While Jehoshaphat is admittedly afraid and without a good plan himself, he is not despairing. In fact, his prayer rings with boldness and steady hope in the God of his people. Where does his courage come from?

Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? And they have lived in it and have built for you in it a sanctuary for your name, saying, “If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this house and before you — for your name is in this house — and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.” (2 Chronicles 20:7–9)

Jehoshaphat’s hope is built on the promises and presence of God. It is God’s name that dwells in Judah, and therefore his glory is at stake in this great horde marching against them. Jehoshaphat knows that God is passionate about his glory and faithful to keep all his promises, so he appeals to him with great confidence and directness knowing he’ll find well-timed help because of the covenant love of God (Hebrews 4:14–16).

In the same way, even when we feel overwhelmed by our circumstances, steady hope lives and endures in the promises of God to us in Christ. Jesus is the Good Shepherd who will lead us even in the valley of the shadow of death, pursuing us with his goodness and mercy all the days of our lives (Psalm 23:4, 6). Jesus will not break a bruised reed or put out a smoldering wick (Isaiah 42:3). Jesus will pour out his all-sufficient grace as we boast in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:7–10). Nothing will separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord as he works all things for our good (Romans 8:28–39).

When we are afraid, we pray with confidence because of these sure and steady promises — promises that are ours because Jesus bled and died to make us sons and daughters of God.

God Spoke Through Whom?

As Jehoshaphat draws the people together to pray, God sends strength and encouragement in an unexpected way. The Spirit of God fills, not Jehoshaphat, but a man named Jahaziel (2 Chronicles 20:14). Jahaziel rises and declares, “Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s’” (2 Chronicles 20:15). Do not fear; God will fight for us. And despite everything we can see, we will win(2 Chronicles 20:17).

The particular word of hope that needs to be spoken does not always come to the king — or, in our day, to the pastor or small-group leader. As we suffer, share our burdens with one another, and seek the Lord together through prayer, God very often will speak through someone else.

Our individualized society, at least in the West, has often invaded our churches. We gather together once a week to sing, pray, take the Lord’s Table, and hear God’s word preached (still a beautiful thing!), but often don’t actually live like a blood-bought family — at least not like the one we see in the New Testament (Acts 2:42–47; 20:28).

Members of the early church were so close, and the self-giving love of Christ was so prevalent among them, that none of them counted any of their possessions as their own. They gladly met the needs of one another. The apostle Paul calls Christians to join him in prayer, so that as many pray and God answers, God gets more glory (2 Corinthians 1:11). It feels simpler and easier and more comfortable to keep our struggles to ourselves and search for our own answers. But God has placed believers in a body — in a family where he manifests his love through mutual care and prayer.

In other words, if we don’t let other people into our trials and crises, we miss out on the blessing we might have received from God.

What Is Our Victory?

The people of Judah received Jahaziel’s word with joy. The next morning, Jehoshaphat calls them to believe the word of the Lord, and they march out to face the army. Oh, that we would pause when the circumstances are hard and ask ourselves if we believe the word of the Lord, receiving the Spirit’s witness of the Father’s care for us in our hearts (Romans 8:15–16).

Again, they do a surprising thing. They send the band out first (2 Chronicles 20:21–22). This is not sound practice for winning a battle. It is sound practice for worship, when you trust the God who has given you a promise. As they begin to sing, the Lord routes the greater, stronger army. Israel praises his name for the great victory.

You might be thinking, How can I worship when it seems like the Lord is not winning the battle that way for me? How can we worship as we march into what seems like overwhelming odds, without a specific word from God about our situation?

The answer is that our victory in Christ is as sure as the victory promised to Judah, if we believe what God has said in Christ. The Bible promises us that, whatever we may face or suffer or lose in this life, those whom God predestined are called, those called are justified, and those justified are glorified. It is certain. Our future is secure. For us “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

Welcome God (and Others)

We can lay down our self-sufficiency, invite others into our fears, and then pray and worship expectantly, knowing that one way or another, our victory is sure. As sure as Judah’s victory over the Moabites and Ammonites.

As my bride and I have walked through our current trial, we’ve felt God lead us to let people into the war with us. And we have been overwhelmed by the prayers and encouragement we have received. Under God, they have sustained us and held up our eyes to Jesus in the midst of what feels, at times, like overwhelming pain and fear.

God will work in and among his people to save and sustain us as we boldly approach him together. He has designed his universe to work this way, so that we are weaned off of self-sufficiency, into fuller dependence on him for everything we need, so that, over and over again, he gets the glory.

Dave Zuleger (@DaveZuleger) serves as lead pastor for Bethlehem Baptist Church, South Campus, in Lakeville, Minnesota, and graduated from Bethlehem College & Seminary. He and his wife, Kelly, have four children.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-you-do-not-know-what-to-do

What I Misunderstood About Grief

By Cameron Cole

Eighteen months after my son died, I had a conversation with a pastor friend that enraged me.

His first child was going to college, and he expressed the sadness and difficulty accompanying the milestone. In describing his sorrow, he repeatedly used a certain word. “We’re grieving her leaving us. We’re grieving her being so far away. We’re grieving her absence in our house.”

With each enunciation of “grief,” I grew angrier. Having buried my son in the previous calendar year, I wanted to say, “No, no, no. Grief is reserved for really bad things. Grief is reserved for death. Grief is reserved for people like me, not your healthy, living child going to college!”

What Changed My Mind

Fast forward two years. I noticed the new strength required to lift my now-4-year-old daughter for a hug. Her increased self-sufficiency and growing vocabulary contrasted starkly with memories of that chubby baby girl who used to crawl around the house.

As I pulled up videos from the toddler and baby phases, a funny thing happened. My heart ached with sorrow, and tears filled my eyes. I realized I was experiencing what my pastor friend felt as his daughter went to college: grief.

A sense of loss lingered as I knew that a treasured season had passed, never to be recovered. Daddy’s sweet girl no longer got excited about watching Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Good Night Moon was done. She was figuring out that an “r” belonged on the front of “remember;” she was correcting the cute mispronunciation—“amember”—that previously melted my heart. On the next trip to Disney, she would realize the real Cinderella doesn’t reside in the Magic Kingdom.

All grief involves loss. A joyful hope for the future dies, or a cherished aspect of the present slips into the past. And we grieve.

Grief and the Fall

All grief originates from the fall, when Adam and Eve tarnished a rich paradise of joy, squandering endless possibilities of pleasure, hope, and life. Regardless of what we grieve, there is a keen sense that life wasn’t meant to be this way. We taste moments of glory where we receive a glimpse of Eden—and we feel sadness and pain as those transcendent moments pass. Whether we’re lamenting the death of friends and family or sorrowing over dashed dreams, our hearts mourn that this life falls drastically short of God’s original intent.

We are born with an innate sense that life was meant to be so much more. The toddler who throws a tantrum when the playdate ends demonstrates (even if sinfully) that moments of joy, vitality, and friendship were never meant to cease. Along with the rest of our sin-marred creation, the child subconsciously grieves what was lost in the fall.

For people who have lost small children, so much of their grief involves losing the joys and journeys of the different phases of childhood. They grieve missed birthdays, a nonexistent first day of kindergarten, a graduation ceremony that never comes. They painfully wonder how their child’s personality and appearance may have evolved over time. The seasons of enjoying that child are lost.

Regardless of the severity, all sadness, frustration, and anger are expressions of grief. We all mourn the loss of Eden and the life for which we were meant.

Recovery Is Coming

Romans 8 points to the ultimate solace for humanity, trapped under this excruciating curse:

The whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Rom. 8:22–23)

This groaning carries connotations of grieving. There is a deep, guttural pain lurking within the fallen state of the world. There is a grinding frustration with how life falls miserably short of our desires and longings.

But Paul doesn’t leave us with hopeless grief. He points to Christ’s second coming, where believers receive and experience their full “adoption as sons” and “the redemption of [their] bodies” (Rom. 8:23).

Our son died at age 3, but I cling to this hope: The times and experiences lost with Cameron in this life will be regained and renewed a thousandfold in the world to come. As I wrote in Therefore I Have Hope:

Remembering that Cameron is still my son and that he is still alive in heaven reminds me that nothing truly will be lost and that everything will be recovered. I will see my little boy again. We will have a beautiful, fun, intimate, joyful life together for eternity in heaven. We will have adventures and lessons and laughter and meals and celebrations. We will hug and snuggle and kiss and laugh and play in heaven.

Wait with Joy

The real sense of loss that undergirds all the pain, disappointment, and grief in this life has been reversed through the gospel and will be enjoyed—fully and forever—in the age to come. Jesus will recover all of the fallout from Adam and Eve’s demise.

The gospel is a hope that God will never leave us empty-handed. Never. Knowing this hope, I, along with all other believers, can wait, endure, and persevere. And not just wait, but wait with joyful expectation.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/misunderstood-grief/