Chris’ book is a needed resource to the church so that awareness is raised about this devastating sin. Chris does more than raise awareness; he provides the biblical tools to deal with abuse.
The book’s content is as follows:
Chapter 1: The Heart of the Matter
Chapter 2: Behaving Badly
Chapter 3: Motives Matter
Chapter 4: Self-worship, Pride, and the Heart of Abuse
Chapter 5: Beliefs
Chapter 6: Power Plays
The first six chapters set the profile of the domestic abuser. The next five chapters serve as a blueprint on how to counsel an abuser. A case study is part of each chapter as Chris gives a real life example of both the profile of an abuser as well as the heart change that is necessary to stop the violence and convert a man to loving his wife as Christ loves the church.
Chapter 7: Good News for a Troubling Subject
Chapter 8: Hope for the Violent Man
Chapter 9: The Mind of Christ: An Alternative to a Violent Heart
Chapter 10: Wanting Something More
Chapter 11: A Call to Authenticity
Chris’ methodology is familiar to any biblical counselor as he stresses the importance of heart change rather than behavioral modification. The book is rich in Scripture-based diagrams, explanations and the use of specific passages.
"This resource and the wisdom it provides are integral to pastoral ministry -- and indeed to the work of everyone who is ready to speak for the oppressed and cry out for justice. I cannot recommend it highly enough." --Rachael Denhollander, Speaker; Author; Victim Advocate
"A stunning work. . . . If you ever read a book about abuse in couples, let it be this one." --Alasdair Groves, Executive Director, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation
"The clearest and most complete work on understanding the dynamics and impact of abuse." --Chris Moles, Author, The Heart of Domestic Abuse
"Gospel rich, well written, and chock-full of practical wisdom. Darby Strickland is a gift to the church." --Jason Meyer, Pastor for Preaching and Vision, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis
"If you read this book before you need it, you will be grateful . . . and so will the person who is reaching out to you for guidance." --Brad Hambrick, General Editor, Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused
This is a booklet that helps women who are in an abusive or oppressive situation to recognize what is really happening. The author biblically explains abuse as sinful and gives concrete examples that helps women understand their relationships from God’s perspective. Women have repeatedly said to me that they felt like someone understood them after reading this booklet.
This is a book for pastors and leaders of churches to understand and respond well when abuse happens within the church or with families involved in the church.
This book is written to the spouse of an abusive/oppressive spouse. When married to someone who refuses to take responsibility for their sin or to repent, refuses to work towards a loving relationship, or is extremely difficult to live with for any reason, living biblically has unique challenges. This book challenges the believing spouse to live a God honoring life and gives hope and help for how to do that. While some of Leslie Vernick’s books have psychology mixed in, this is a solidly scripturally based book. There is a study guide written by CHCC counselors on the “study guide” page.
Mez McConnell’s openness about the abuse he experienced is difficult to read and process. But, this is a tremendously hopeful and important book. This is the only biblical and gospel centered book I have read written by a man about abuse. The author shares his story and as he does, the reader is pointed to the only hope in abuse - Jesus Christ.
Is It My Fault? is a message of hope and healing to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence.
At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and can have long-lasting distressing consequences. It is common for victims of domestic violence to suffer from ongoing depression and recurring nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, substance abuse, and more.
Is It My Fault? addresses the abysmal issue of domestic violence with the powerful and transforming biblical message of grace and redemption. It deals with this devastating problem and sin honestly and directly without hiding its prevalence today.