Above All These, Put on Love Part 4 (Love Does Not Envy)

Love does not envy.  The original word is zēloō.  It is a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, successes, or possessions. Wayne Mack says “envy consists of a disposition of dissatisfaction or dislike over the fact or thought that someone seems to be ahead of us, or above us, or superior to us in honor, position, respect, success, possessions or effectiveness”.  At the heart of envy is self glory.  Envy wants the attention and pleasure that someone else is experiencing for itself.  When we are envious of another person, we are unhappy that something good is happening to them, and we want it for ourselves.  Envy says to God, “You should have given ________ to me!”  It is an accusation against God’s goodness and wisdom in how He gives blessings to people.

Scripture paints envy as a significant sin.  

Satan was envious of God’s authority and power and tempted Eve to follow him rather than God. (Genesis 3)

Cain was envious of Abel being accepted by God and it led to murder. (Genesis 4)

Joseph’s brothers were envious of the attention he received from his father as the favorite son and they sold him into slavery. (Genesis 37)

Saul was envious of David because David proved himself a mighty warrior and received praise from the people. (1 Samuel 18)

The chief priests and elders were envious of Jesus’ popularity and had Him arrested. Even Pilate knew the arrest was a result of envy.   (Matthew 27)

Throughout Scripture there are several places that list sins.  These lists tend to include serious sins, and among them is envy.  

Mark 7:21-23  “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,  coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”  

This is significant because it shows envy begins in the heart (as all sin does).  Envy is from a heart that seeks its own good and its own pleasures over and above the good of others.

Romans 1:28-31 “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,  foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless”

Envy does not acknowledge God’s ultimate freedom to make decisions.  He gives and He takes away out of His nature that is wise, loving, powerful, kind, and good.  Envy assumes that we know more and would make better decisions than God as to who has talents, possessions, successes, and positions.

Galatians 5:19-21 “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Envy is a work of the flesh.  Envy is the deceitful desire of the flesh to want more than God is giving.  It is the desire to have the recognition, position, success, or praise that someone else is receiving.  Rather than loving the other person and celebrating with them (or rejoicing with those who rejoice), an envious person wishes the other person didn’t have those blessings. Genuine love is glad for others who are experiencing happiness and success.  Genuine love celebrates other people and gives thanks to God for blessing others.

Consider these times when envy is a temptation.

A friend calls you to share the exciting news that her son is receiving an award at school (and your son is not).

The person who works next to you receives a promotion and you have been at the company longer than he/she has.

You start scrolling through social media to see a family from church on ANOTHER vacation when you haven’t taken one for a couple of years.

A friend’s husband receives a reward at work and your friend spends 30 minutes telling you how awesome this award is and how proud she is of her husband.

Your friend goes on and on about how considerate and loving his/her spouse is and you’ve been struggling with your spouse for months.  

A friend invites you over to show you the newly redecorated rooms in her house and your husband has been refusing to spend money on your house for years.

When others succeed or have an advantage or receive an unexpected gift, we tend to think “what about me?”  We quickly size up the situation and feel like we haven’t gotten what we deserve so someone else shouldn’t get it either.  We reveal the pride in our hearts by the self-focus of our response.  Our eyes (and desires) are on ME.  Rather than trusting in God’s goodness and wisdom in how He allocates position and possessions, we accuse God of being unfair and unkind to us.  Envy robs us of loving God and others.

The opposite of envy is contentment.  Contentment is autarkeia in the Greek and means “a perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed, sufficiencies of all the necessities of life”.  First Timothy 6:6 says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain”.  The same word, autarkeia, is translated as sufficiency in 2 Corinthians 9:8.  “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”  

God’s grace is what brings contentment because it is sufficient.  It is more than enough.  It abounds!  God’s grace in Christ is the only place where we can find contentment.  Through Christ we are forgiven and restored to a relationship with God. We are eternally secure in Christ’s righteousness and holiness credited to us.  There is absolutely nothing else we need. When our contentment is in Jesus -  not our circumstances, possessions, advancements, successes, or approval ratings - we will find rest from the unrest of envy.  When we rest in Christ, we are not dependent on people or things to make us happy.  

Jerry Bridges says, “The choice to accept it [God’s grace is sufficient] and experience contentment is mine.  And the choice is  yours in your particular circumstances.  This is the secret of contentment [and I would say, freedom from envy and jealousy]: to learn and accept that we live daily by God’s unmerited favor given through Christ, and that we can respond to any and every situation by his divine enablement through the Holy Spirit.”

Contentment comes when we recognize and submit to the fact that God is the giver of all gifts.  God gives “severe mercies” at times which are gifts that are challenging and are truly hardships, but He uses them to draw us to Himself and cause us to grow in humility and dependence on Him.  God gives mercies that are easy to accept that we joyfully receive because they feel good. Contentment is based on feelings, however. Contentment trusts that in God’s wisdom, love and power, He has given us what is best for us.  First Corinthians 4:7 asks, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”  Every gift, whether difficult or easy to receive, is from God.  Who are you to judge the gifts God gives to you or others?

Christ has already satisfied the wrath of God for your sins.  Christ has lived the perfect holy and righteous life that is now credited to all who trust in Him as Lord and Savior.  Christ has defeated death and sin so that neither controls you or enslaves you.  Christ has ascended and is your Advocate in heaven presenting you as holy and blameless before God the Father.  Take some time to meditate on these truths.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, else that you need.  Christ is sufficient!  His grace abounds!

When you are tempted to be envious, stop and preach the gospel to yourself.  Stop and meditate on the seriousness of envy and the accusation against God that He is not enough for you.

Jonathan Edwards has these challenging words. “The spirit of envy is very contrary to the spirit of heaven, where all rejoice in the happiness of others; and it is the very spirit of hell itself - which is the most hateful spirit - and one that feeds itself on the ruin of the prosperity and happiness of others, on which account some have compared envious people to caterpillars, which delight in devouring the most flourishing trees and plants….It is like a powerful eating cancer, preying on the vitals, offensive and full of corruption.  It is the most foolish kind of self injury; for the envious make themselves trouble most needlessly, being uncomfortable only because of the prosperity of others when that prosperity does not injure them… But they are unwilling to enjoy what they have because others are or may enjoy what they are enjoying.”

Application:

1.  Which statements or concepts stand out the most to you about envy?

2. Think about how you respond when others receive benefits in status, possessions, respect, admiration, or successes.  Rate yourself on a scale of 1 - 10, (1 being “I always rejoice with others” and 10 being “I'm upset and angry that I didn’t get the benefit).  Why did you rate yourself this way?

3. Look up the following verses.  What do you learn about envy and contentment?

James 3:14-16

Proverbs 27:4

Mark 7:21-23

Proverbs 4:11-12

1 Timothy 6:6

2 Corinthians 9:8

1. What situations do you tend to be envious about?  Does it relate to work, spouse, children, possessions, adventures, reputation, successes?  Try to be specific about what areas you are tempted to envy.

2. Which specific people do you struggle to envy the most?  

3. Take some time to repent of your envy.

4. How could you “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15) when those situations or people come up?  Be specific about what you need to think (renew your mind) and do (Christlike words and actions to put on).

 Maximum Impact by Wayne A Mack (I have taken this list from examples used in this book.)

 Charity and Its Fruits by Jonathan Edwards.

 Jerry Bridges, The Practice of Godliness.

The Opposite of Envy

Tim Challies

A thought struck me the other day: As far as I know, the English language has no word that expresses the opposite of envy. There may be phrases or sentences that can begin to convey it, but we have no single word we can use to express the virtue that lies opposite that ugly vice. We can wish and pray that we would be less envious, but as we put off that sin, what’s the righteous behavior we ought to be putting on in its place?

Envy is a strange sin, in that it is a personal and often very visceral response to the success and failure of other people. It is a sin that involves comparing ourselves to others and forming our identity around that comparison. Just as we can be affected by our own success and failure, envy affects us through the success and failure of others. Envy is responding to the success of other people with resentment toward them and despair within ourselves, longing that their success was our own. Or, envy is responding to the failure of other people with joy, gleeful that their failure is not our own. At its fullest bloom, envy is not just wanting the success of another person for ourselves, but also wanting that person not to have it; it is not just wanting to avoid personal catastrophe, but wishing catastrophe upon someone else. It is a sin that combines jealousy, hatred, and theft into an ugly, chaotic whole.

Sir John Gielgud summarized envy well in these despairing words: “When Sir Laurence Olivier played Hamlet in 1948, and the critics raved, I wept.” The success of another person made him feel small. Had the critics panned Olivier, Gielgud would have felt big, so that the failure of another person would have been his triumph. And here we see another ugly element of envy: It tends to alienate us from people who are much like us, people who ought to be our allies. A musician rarely envies an author and a pastor rarely envies a historian. Instead, we envy people who have similar interests, similar gifts, similar callings—the very people with whom we could and should co-labor. But envy drives us apart. It makes potential allies into competitors.

Envy produces no good fruit. It is a sin that seems to offer happiness via comparison, but it is a lie. If we lose the comparison, we move toward despair and resentment. We hate our neighbor and eventually hate God for holding back what we consider an essential element of happiness. But if we win the comparison, we grow in pride, in our sense that we are a unique gift to the world. Here too, we hate our neighbor and eventually see God as a power who exists to give us the success we’re sure we are entitled to.

“The opposite of envy is rejoicing especially in the success of the people who are closest to us”

So what is the opposite of envy? I think the Bible speaks to it when it tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). The opposite of envy is finding joy in the success of other people and feeling sorrow in their failure. The opposite of envy is rejoicing especially in the success of the people who are closest to us, who received accolades we would like for ourselves, who took home awards we believe we deserved, who garnered praise for accomplishments much like our own. The opposite of envy is feeling true sorrow at the failures of a person in the same field as us or of a person who may be considered a competitor. I’ve heard Sanskrit has a word—mudita—that refers to a joy that is pure and unadulterated by self-interest and delights in the good fortune of other people. That seems to capture it well.

We can have that joy, but only if we first find our ultimate joy in Christ. And our joy in Christ comes by understanding and acknowledging that our deepest identity is not found in success or failure, but in our union with him. We have to know that our standing before God does not depend upon our accomplishments. Neither someone else’s success nor our lack of success changes who we are in Christ. Neither some else’s failures nor our own has any bearing on who we are in him. It is only when we are secure before him that we can be secure before others. It is only when we are secure in him that we’ve secured the opposite of envy.

Posted at: https://www.challies.com/articles/the-opposite-of-envy/?fbclid=IwAR0f6JOS_vdIYyVHsjXH444fwLBwy94eaL6VeaiYd0cHXQB-z8AWs7Vm3xI

A Different Kind of Profanity

Article by David Prince

What would you do if one of your children walked in your house and spoke a string of four-letter words? What would you do if one of your children walked in your house grumbling? I fear that most of us would drop everything and confront their intolerable use of four-letter words (and rightly so) but would say nothing about the grumbling or maybe say something like, "I am sorry you are having a bad day." You may say, "Yes, but the four-letter words are profanities." So is grumbling.

We tend to reason that grumbling is not a big deal because it is not actually doing anything it is simply talk. In contemporary American culture grumbling is often ingrained as a way of life and many treat it as harmless personal therapy. We tend to rename it as something like venting in order to remove the stigma. Grumbling is so habitual that we often miss the irony of our words when we stand in front of closets full of clothes and murmur that we do not have anything to wear. Or when we stand before refrigerators packed with food and say we don't have anything to eat.

In the Bible, grumbling is described as corrosive. A grumbling spirit never stays self-contained but begins to infect all aspects of life and thought with an entitlement worldview. Parents who model grumbling or treat it as acceptable when their children grumble are placing their kids in character quicksand. Grumbling and thankfulness cannot coexist. One always vanquishes the other. A grumbler becomes immune to gratitude because no matter what happens circumstances will always bump up against our personal desires.

In Exodus, the Israelites leave Egypt walking between sovereignly walled up water; then, within one month of that event the awe-inspired gratitude is erased. Why? They are thirsty (Ex 15:22-17:7). The irony that they saw the power of a God who can control the Red Sea and now a bit of thirst has them complaining should not be lost on us. Moses had courageously been used by God to confront Pharoah and lead the nation out of bondage in Egypt but now they get a bit hungry and ask him, "Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger" (Ex 16:3).

God had provided them water and he now provides them bread and quail. They are instructed to gather only as much bread as they need for each day, but not everyone obeys (Ex 16:20). When they get thirsty again and say, "Why did you bring us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?" (Ex 17:3). You get the point. Grumbling vanquishes awe-inspired gratitude. Moses rightly asserts, "Your grumbling is not against us but against the LORD" (Ex 16:8). The same is still true. Parents who grumble and permit their children to grumble are catechizing them in discontent with the Lord.

In the New Testament, John 6:25-59, Jesus asserts himself as the "bread of life" after his miraculous feeding of the five thousand (John 6:1-15). Jesus, like Moses, provides bread and meat for the people. Jesus tells them that they are to believe in him (John 6:29). Ironically, the people who just saw an amazing sign say they require a sign to believe. Jesus said, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst (John 6:35). How do they respond? "So the Jews grumbled about him" (John 6:41, see also, 43, 61). The Greek word for "grumble" is "gonguzō," which actually sounds like murmuring.

Paul tells the church at Corinth not to grumble as Israel did in the wilderness (1 Cor. 10:5-11). He says, "these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come" (1 Cor 10:11). James admonishes his readers not to "grumble" against each other' (James 5:9). Likewise, Peter tells his readers to "show hospitality to one another without grumbling" (1 Pet 4:9). In Philippians, Paul exhorts the church to have the mind of Christ and reflect his self-sacrificial example on display in his incarnation and crucifixion (Phil 2:5-11). Then, one of the first applications of how to do so is, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing" (Phil 2:14).

There seems to be a vast discrepancy between the way most of us think about grumbling and how the Bible speaks of it. We are wrong, the Bible is right. Parents often fixate on grades, success, and achievement in the lives of their children. However important these things are, they are far less significant than whether or not our children become grumblers with an entitlement worldview. To profane is to treat that which is holy as common. In Christ, our very lives are holy and our words are sacred. That reality is why grumbling in the Bible is profanity.

Grumbling is doing something, something profane and corrosive. Grumbling vanquishes thankfulness and makes us insensibly immune to awe. In other words, when we grumble, we are using our words to preach hellish sermons, not holy ones--sermons for which Satan would gladly say, "Amen." May we see grumbling as profanity against God, and correct it in our lives and in the lives of our children.

About the Author: David E. Prince is pastor of preaching and vision at Ashland Avenue Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky and assistant professor of Christian preaching at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the author of In the Arena and Church: The Promise of Sports for Christian Discipleship and Church with Jesus as the Hero. He blogs at Prince on Preaching and frequently writes for The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, For the Church, and Preaching Today.

Posted at: http://www.reformation21.org/blog/2018/12/a-different-kind-of-profanity.php

Seven Strategies for Fighting Envy

Article by  Stephen Witmer   Pastor, Pepperell, Massachusetts

Envy is a stingy and demanding master. It’s stingy because, unlike many other sins, there’s absolutely nothing pleasurable about experiencing it. Most sins bait the hook: lust offers excitement and escape, greed promises wealth and pleasure, gossip promises power and participation in the inner circle. And many sins are at least temporarily pleasurable (that’s why we do them).

But with envy, it’s all hook and no bait. There’s no upside to envy, not even a small or temporary spike of guilty pleasure. That’s why no one consciously plans or schemes to envy (as you might plan to satisfy a lustful desire). We feel envy in spite of ourselves, even though we don’t want to. It’s the great unsought sin.

Envy is also terribly demanding. Although it delivers nothing, it requires much. It can absorb and dominate a life. It can poison pleasures and steal joys and waste time. Envy can make your own blessed life feel shabby and inadequate. It is, in fact, one of the sins that presents the most obvious affront to the sovereignty of God; it questions God’s plans, choices, and goodness. Envy is rebellion.

Seven Strategies for Fighting Envy

“Envy questions God’s plans, choices, and goodness. Envy is rebellion.”

Anyone, no matter how attractive, accomplished, respected, and successful, can feel envy. I’ve heard people I envied confessing their envy of other people. There’s always someone who has what we don’t or is better than we are at what we do. Envy is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic, and is often accompanied by other sins (James 3:14–16).

All of which is to say, this is an important enemy to study, understand, and battle with all our might. Below are seven strategies I’ve found helpful in the fight. Wielding these weapons won’t guarantee quick victory but will at least keep us in the thick of the fight.

1. See Clearly

In his book, The Godly Man’s Picture, the Puritan Thomas Watson wrote, “A humble man is willing to have his name and gifts eclipsed, so that God’s glory may be increased. He is content to be outshone by others in gifts and esteem, so that the crown of Christ may shine the brighter. . . A humble Christian is content to be laid aside if God has any other tools to work with which may bring him more glory.” This humble attitude is the opposite of envy, which yearns to possess what others have. Envy is an expression of selfishness and pride. It’s good to see it clearly for what it is.

2. Confess Openly

Several years ago, I looked a dear friend in the eye and confessed my envy of his abilities and successes. I asked for his forgiveness. It was humbling and very helpful. I’m not suggesting we confess to every single person we ever envy, but particularly when we begin to envy a close friend, we’re not serving them well as a faithful friend. Our confession will allow them to pray for us, and the act of naming the sin will often help to minimize its power over us.

3. Pray Instead

When I pray for the success of someone I envy, my heart starts to change. Envy pits me against them but prayer puts me on their team. I am now calling God’s blessing down upon them. I’m invested emotionally in their well-being. I begin to envy them less. In fact, their further successes now become answers to my prayers! I asked God for that very thing they’ve now accomplished. How can I resent it?

4. Pursue Friendship

Envy both isolates and then feeds on isolation. It’s difficult to grow a genuine friendship with those who trigger our sinful feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness and discontentment. So, we may begin to avoid the people or situations who make us feel that way.

Envy, in turn, thrives in isolation. When we’re not in genuine relationships with those we envy, we won’t actually love and rejoice with them in their successes. Neither will we see their very real struggles and insecurities. Instead, we will spin our own distorted narrative, and the complex realities and hardships of that person’s life won’t be a part of it.

5. Identify Idols

Over the years, God has helped me glimpse some of the root causes of my envy and this has helped enormously. In spite of the unconditional love of godly parents, I forged (from an early age) a deep identification between identity and performance which endured into my adult years. It’s not difficult to see how envy thrived: if I’m valuable because of what I achieve, and someone else can do it better, they are better than me. Comprehending the roots of my own envy has helped me better understand its deep and enduring power.

6. Run to the Gospel

To combat the idols of my heart, I now more consciously fight envy by setting my heart and mind on gospel promises and by regularly reminding myself (especially at the beginning of the day) of my identity in Jesus. Because this temptation will likely not disappear any time soon, I know I must keep onpreaching the gospel to myself.

7. Strive for Reality over Appearances

“We feel envy in spite of ourselves, even though we don’t want to. It’s the great unsought sin.”

Richard Baxter has helped me greatly through his advice to “Study first to be whatever . . . you [rightly] desire to seem.” Envy frequently focuses on the external appearances or accomplishments of others; we long for the fame or respect or achievements of that other person without giving due thought to the hardship and discipline that led to it. Baxter wisely counsels Christians to allow their desires to seem godly to other people to remind them how much more valuable it is to actually be godly. The sharp stab of envy can serve as our reminder to pursue realities (whether or not anyone else ever sees).

Perhaps you’re discouraged that those envious feelings keep ambushing you, and you long to be free. Or maybe you’ve made peace with your envy of others; perhaps you’re so used to it, you hardly even notice anymore. This is a call to fight. There is hope for us in the battle against this stingy, demanding enemy. We can fight for freedom with the gospel weapons God provides, for the sake of his awesome glory and our great joy.

Stephen Witmer (@stephenwitmer1) is the pastor of Pepperell Christian Fellowship in Pepperell, Massachusetts, and teaches New Testament at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He helps to lead Small Town Summits, which partners with The Gospel Coalition New England to serve rural churches and pastors. He and his wife, Emma, have three children.

Article posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/seven-strategies-for-fighting-envy