Why Are You Cast Down?

By Wendy Wood

In Psalm 42 and 43, the sons of Korah repeatedly say the phrase, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” These men are using a phrase familiar to shepherds.  A “cast down” sheep is one who has fallen over onto his back.  Sheep in this position are unable to right themselves.  They are completely helpless with their spindly legs and wide bodies to be able to turn over and get up.  This upside down position is extremely dangerous for sheep.  First of all, a sheep that is cast down is vulnerable to predators.  A wolf or coyote or bear could easily kill and eat a sheep that is upside down.  Secondly, the sheep’s four compartment stomach is in danger of building up gases that cut off circulation from the legs and result in death in a day or so.  A shepherd who has lost sight of one of his sheep will search carefully and diligently knowing that a missing sheep might be in trouble. A cast down sheep requires immediate action and the shepherd must restore the sheep’s blood flow and health to ensure the sheep will survive.

Phillip Keller from “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23” writes, 

“Again and again I would spend hours searching for a single sheep that was missing.  Then more often than not I would see it at a distance, down on its back, lying helpless.  At once I would start to run toward it - hurrying as fast as I could - for every minute was critical.  Within me there was a mingled sense of fear and joy: fear it might be too late; joy that it was found at all”.

The bible uses the analogy of sheep to describe God’s chosen people, believers in Christ who are adopted into God’s family.  Isaiah 53:6 says, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  We are like the helpless sheep who wander off and get turned upside down and are unable to right ourselves.  Psalm 79:13 says, “But we your people, the sheep of your pasture…”  and Psalm 119:176 says, “I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments.”  When sheep are mentioned in scripture we should pay attention because these references tell us about our condition as humans.

The picture of sheep in the bible is to show us our true state of being.  We are dependent on God, our Shepherd for everything.  Sheep cannot find food for themselves, nor can they defend themselves against predators.  Left on their own, sheep will not survive.  Matthew 9:36 says sheep are harassed and helpless without a shepherd.  Without our Lord and Shepherd, we are doomed to eternal death.  We can do nothing to make ourselves “right” with God.

Sheep are foolish.  Sheep will leave a lush pasture of green grass to feed on brown dead grass for no reason.  Sheep cannot find their way back to their own sheep pen.  Sheep do not know or use wisdom to make decisions.  Psalm 73:22 tells us that we too were foolish and ignorant and “a beast” before we were called by God.  Without God and His wisdom, we are foolish and our lives are without purpose.

Sheep wander off and get lost.  Sheep may wander because they are scared and flee, but they cannot find their way home.  Sheep may wander because they are just following the other sheep, not aware of where they are going.  Sheep may wander because they are curious and want to inspect something interesting more closely.  All of these reasons take them away from their shepherd and lead them to danger.  Without a shepherd, sheep cannot survive.  Isaiah 53:6 says “we like sheep have gone astray” and Hosea 11:6 says that “My people are bent on backsliding from me”.  The picture of both sheep and God’s people is that we are prone to wander.  We are prone to chase after other gods and idols for happiness and satisfaction.  Just like sheep, we put ourselves in danger when we wander from God.

Sheep are also stubborn. In Psalm 23, David talks about the shepherd using a rod and staff to comfort the sheep.  A stubborn sheep who continues to wander off or pursue its own way, needs a rod of correction to keep it safe.  Shepherds must watch continually for sheep who insist on going away from the flock.  This is for the stubborn sheep’s protection and safety.

So in Psalm 42 and 43 where the sons of Korah talk about their own souls being “cast down”, they are making a reference to sheep.  They are saying they feel like sheep turned over on their backs and unable to get up or provide any help or hope to itself.  This Psalmist is stuck.  Most likely they have been “listening” to their own thoughts as they have been pursued by ungodly people and feel helpless to defend themselves.  Psalm 43 starts out with “Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause against ungodly people, from the deceitful and unjust man deliver me.”  This Psalm is written by people who are overwhelmed in sadness and hurt from being falsely accused and tormented by people who are evil.  Our souls become “cast down” when we start listening to ourselves rather than going to God as our Shepherd.

In what ways do we listen to ourselves and become cast down?

Firstly, like sheep who are careless and stand in soft, uneven ground and then fall over, God’s sheep become careless in the disciplines of grace and instead rely on grace of the past to sustain them.  When a believer gets lazy about spending time with God, trusting in God’s daily mercies and grace, and tries to sustain themselves through past grace, the believer falls too.  John Piper, in his book “Future Grace”, argues that each day we must trust in God’s grace for that day.  The promises of God, that He is with us, that His grace is enough, that we will spend eternity with Him, all are true because God daily supplies the grace to be faithful to His promises.  It is not enough to look at the past and cling to past grace, we must actively trust that God continues to provide what is needed every moment of the day.  It is only through repentance, humility, and God’s grace that we are “righted” from being cast down in self sufficiency.

Secondly, sheep tip over when their wool becomes too heavy and cumbersome to withstand.  The wool may have clumps of dirt and the sheep simply can’t stay on its feet.  God’s sheep are often weighed down by sin and distractions.  Hebrews 12:1 tells us to lay aside every weight and sin which so easily entangles us”.  Often the weight of pride is too great to withstand.  When we convince ourselves that our way is best, that we should have been treated better than we were, that we deserve better than we have, we are upside down in God’s kingdom.  God opposes the proud (James 4:6).  We are “cast down” when we think in opposition to God because we are deluding ourselves into thinking we are something that we are not.  Our pride blinds us and leaves us helpless, hovering near death.  There is nothing more dangerous to our souls that having God oppose us.

Sheep may also be cast down due to obesity.  A sheep may overeat out of foolishness and become so heavy it cannot stay upright. God’s sheep may became cast down when the interests and distractions of the world become too great.  When a believer is drawn into social media, news, materialism, or sexual immorality promoted by the culture, he may become cast down.  The mind is fed by worldliness rather than the Word of God.  We need God’s Word to transform our minds so that we are not conformed to the world.  We get stuck in sinful patterns of thoughts and desires and become unable to rescue ourselves.

But God has provided the help and hope we need when we are cast down!  Psalm 23 tells us that “He restores my soul”.  The word restore means to “turn back” or “turn again”.  When we are cast down, we are in need of God who “turns us back” to a right position with Him.

God is our faithful Shepherd who seeks diligently to find His fallen sheep and right them.  John 10 tells us that God is our good Shepherd.  He leads his own sheep by name (verse 3).  God goes before His sheep and His sheep follow Him (verse 4).  Jesus calls Himself the door where all true sheep can find pasture (verse 9).  Jesus is the only way to be “right” with God.  We must be made upright by the atonement of His blood for our sins as we receive salvation by grace through faith in Christ alone.  Verse 11 tells us Jesus is the good Shepherd who lays His life down for His sheep.  As the faithful, perfect Shepherd, no one is able to snatch God’s sheep from His hand (verse 29).  

In a “Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23”, Phillip Keller continues to describe a shepherd’s response:

“As soon as I reached the cast ewe my very first impulse was to pick it up.  Tenderly I would roll the sheep over on its side….  Then straddling the sheep with my legs I would hold her erect, rubbing her limbs to restore circulation to her legs.  This often took quite a little time.  When the sheep started to walk again she often just stumbled, staggered and collapsed in a heap once more.  All the time I worked on the cast sheep I would talk to it gently…. Always couched in language that combined tenderness and rebuke, compassion and correction.

Little by little the sheep would regain its equilibrium.  It would start to walk steadily and surely.  By and by it would dash away to rejoin the others, set free from its fears and frustrations, given another chance to live a little longer.”

As Keller was a careful, prudent shepherd, our Father and Shepherd is holy and perfect.  God through Christ has made a way for His sheep to be rescued and redeemed from their cast down position.  God offers His grace and mercy new every single day for us to trust and live by in whatever circumstances we face.  God gives us His word and perfect guidance for every situation.  2 Peter 1:3-4 says “ His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.”  We are foolish sheep who chase after worldliness or allow pride to distract from partaking in the divine nature.  We experience emotional sadness and despondency when we are choosing to be foolish, stubborn, wanderers from God’s word.

As the sons of Korah respond to their cast down souls, “Hope in God!” we need to do the same.  Don’t foolishly keep wandering or being stubborn about how you are living.  Speak truth to yourself.  “Hope in God!”. Remind yourself of God’s promises and choose to trust that He is faithful to keep them.  Rather than neglecting God’s word, fellowship with other believers, and prayer time alone with God, tell yourself “Hope in God” and then take steps to use the graces God has given you to grow in trusting Him more deeply.  

Footnotes and references used:

Joel Beeke, “The Lord Shepherding His Sheep” page 112.

Phillip Keller, “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23”, page 62

Joel Beeke, “The Lord Shepherding His Sheep”, pages 21-22
 Joel Beeke, “The Lord Shepherding His Sheep, page 113-114.  This blog is using his 3 ideas for why sheep become cast.
Phillip Keller, “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23”, page 63.

A Prayer for the Melancholy and Fearful

Paul Tautges

Lord, strengthen the weak hands, and steady the feeble knees. Say to those that have a fearful heart, ‘Be encouraged, have no fear.’ Answer them with comforting words that are suited to their distress. Say to them, ‘Cheer up! Your sins are forgiven. Have confidence! It is I. Have no more fear. For I am your salvation.’ Let them hear the voice of joy and gladness, that the bones you have broken may rejoice. (Isa 35:3-4; Heb 12:12; Zech 1:13; Matt 9:3; Mark 6:50; Ps 35:3; 51:8).

Rebuke Satan the tempter, the one who constantly accuses the brothers. Covenant Lord, rebuke him, for you have chosen Jerusalem despite the filth of its sin. Let tempted, troubled souls be as brands plucked right out of a blazing fire. Give special help to those who are so overwhelmed with problems that they refuse to be comforted. Be with them when every remembrance of you troubles them. Enable them to trust the final outworkings of your mercy. Let them be confident that in due time they will rejoice in your salvation. Though you slay them, let them keep trusting you (Zech 3:2; Ps 77:2-3; 13:5; Job 13:15).

All your waves and your billows engulf me. The depths of the waters below echo the depths of the waters above as the downpours descend from you. Yet command your lovingkindness for me throughout the day. Let your song be with me in the night, for I will direct my prayer to you, the God of my life. Though my soul is cast down and deeply disturbed, enable me to continually hope in you. In the end, let me praise you. Let experience repeatedly teach me that you are the source of my good health, and you alone are my God (Ps 42:7-8, 11).

Refresh the life of an upright spirit in me. Do not cast me away from your presence. Never take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore the joy of my salvation, and put in me a spirit willing to be led by you. Let my tongue sing aloud of your righteousness, and show forth your salvation. Pull me out of this slimy pit, this mire and muck. Set my feet on a rock. Steady my steps and put a new song in my mouth, even praises to my God. Make me glad for as many days as you have afflicted me, for as many years as I have seen trouble (Ps 51:10-14; 71:15; 40:2-3; 90:15).

Though for a brief moment you have banished your people from your presence, yet in your great compassion restore them to yourself once more. Though you have hid your face from them, have mercy on them according to your everlasting kindness. By the blood of Christ purge all guilt from their conscience. Let your Spirit bear firm witness with their spirits that they are your children (Isa 54:7-8; Heb 10:14, 22; Rom 8:16).

[From Matthew Henry’s book, A Way to Pray]

Posted at: https://counselingoneanother.com/2020/10/30/a-prayer-for-the-melancholy-and-fearful/

How to Pray When You’re Feeling Anxious or Depressed

David Murray

Five Helpful Words

Prayer is hard at the best of times, but it’s hardest during anxious or depressed times. During such seasons, most of us find it hard to concentrate, we feel God is far away, and we despair of God hearing or helping us. All of this makes prayer so difficult and discouraging.

How can we make prayer easier and more encouraging to us in such dark and disturbing spells? Here are five words I give to people to help them with the how of prayer when they are anxious or depressed:

• Short: Better one minute of real, concentrated prayer than fifteen minutes of distracted, wandering prayer.

• Frequent: Try to pray these short prayers throughout the day to keep you in contact with God. Perhaps set an hourly timer on your phone.

• Simple: Pray like a hurting child to a loving father. You don’t need complex theological compositions.

• Scriptural: When you can’t find any words of your own, use the words God has provided in the psalms, in the Lord’s Prayer, or in Paul’s prayers.

• Together: Ask someone to pray with you when you can’t pray for yourself. Perhaps they can pray over the phone with you and you can piggy-back to the throne of grace on their words.

If these five words help us with the how of prayer, let me give you five phrases to guide you in the what of prayer.

You Are

You are sovereign, Lord. You are good, wise, strong, gracious, and faithful. You are my rock, my shepherd, my peace.

Depression and anxiety turn us in upon ourselves so that we get self-centered and sometimes self-obsessed. We see all our lacks and hurts. Prayer helps us to put God at the center of our lives instead, which not only gives us something better to look at than ourselves but also helps us to see everything else better, including ourselves. That’s why we want to start prayer with worship, reminding ourselves of who God is and what God has done. We praise him using descriptions of his attributes and biblical images of his character. This changes what we see and how we see, giving us a God-centered view of our world and ourselves. That in itself is an encouraging and calming perspective.

I Am

I am the opposite of who you are, Lord. I am sad, anxious, and weak. I feel hopeless, helpless, and lonely. At times I don’t want to live. I know this is wrong, and I confess this to you. I am not who I want to be. I am not where I want to be.

Having begun with a God-centered worldview, we can then admit who and what we are and are not. Confession is simply telling God honestly who we are and where we’re at. God already knows, of course, without our telling him, but he still asks us to pour out our hearts to him. It honors God as the sympathizer with weakness and the forgiver of sins. It is therapeutic for us to hear ourselves describe ourselves in the presence of the God who understands our frailties and who forgives our transgressions. Depression and anxiety bring a ton of guilt upon us (both false and real guilt), an oppressive load that crushes our spirits and closes our lips. Being honest and transparent about it before God begins to shift that load off our shoulders and on to Christ’s.

I Trust

Faithful God, although I don’t feel much faith or confidence in you, I will not be guided by my feelings. I trust you, Lord. I trust your word, your character, your faithfulness. I believe all that the Bible says about you, and I will recall your past faithfulness. I trust you, therefore, that you have not changed, though I have; that you are still here, though I don’t sense you; that you are my God, though I don’t feel like I’m your child. I trust your plan for me, and I rest in you as you carry me through these dark and disturbing days.

As songs like Psalm 42, 43, 37, and 73 demonstrate, expressions of trust build trust. The more we articulate our confidence in God, the stronger that confidence grows. And when we can’t say it with 100% certainty, we can always say, “I believe, help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24). Perhaps you can recall past times of God’s faithfulness to make your faith fuller. God is honored and pleased with faith, especially when we are walking in darkness and have no light (Isa. 50:10). Some of my spiritual heroes are Christians who have battled serious mental illness and have held on to God and his word, even with the fingernail of their little finger. That’s far more difficult than trusting God when everything is going well for us, both internally and externally. It’s also more God-glorifying.

God can supply all our needs in the blink of an eye without our asking.

I Need

All-sufficient Provider, I am desperately needy. I need you above all. But I also need peace, joy, hope, patience, sanity, and so much more. I beg you to help me even just to get through this day. Will you help my family and friends as they struggle to understand me? Teach them how to love me. But help me also to love them, especially when I feel so flat. Help me to do my daily duties even when I find no joy in them. I pray for the needs of other depressed and anxious people, too.

God can supply all our needs in the blink of an eye without our asking (Matt. 6:8). However, he asks us to ask and to look to him for everything we need. We can bring to him our physical needs, emotional needs, mental needs, spiritual needs, social needs, and vocational needs. Nothing is too big, and nothing is too small.

I Thank

Giver of every good and perfect gift, I thank you for all you have done, are doing, and will do. I thank you for all you have given, are giving, and will give. I thank you that I am not even worse than I am. I thank you for moments of joy and peace. I thank you for pastors, for brothers and sisters in Christ, for counselors, for doctors, for psychologists, for psychiatrists, and for medications.

Depression and anxiety focus our attention on what we lack, so it’s important to take time to remember all God has given to us and has done for us, both in redemptive history and in our own personal history. Ask him to help you see what you often are blind to or just take for granted. Even just walk around your kitchen or yard and thank God for all you see and have there. Thanksgiving is life-giving.

Prayer is rarely easy. But I hope these five words and five phrases make it easier in times of depression and anxiety. Let me close with a prayer for you:

Lord, you are full of joy and peace. Many of my readers are not. They are sad and panicky. Help them to see who you are and to worship and praise you. Lead them to confess their sins and their faith. As you know their needs and you can easily supply them, give them supplications that honor your willingness and ability to give. Give them what they lack and give them thanksgiving as they see you more clearly in their lives. Above all, remind your people of Jesus Christ who suffered more and deeper for them, and fill them with gratitude for his grace in coming, your love in sending him, and the Holy Spirit’s fellowship that applies all this to the soul. AMEN.

David Murray is the author of Why Am I Feeling Like This?: A Teen’s Guide to Freedom from Anxiety and Depression.

David Murray (PhD, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam) is the senior pastor of First Byron Christian Reformed Church. He is also a counselor, a regular speaker at conferences, and the author of Exploring the Bible. David has also taught Old Testament, counseling, and pastoral theology at various seminaries.

Think About Your Thoughts

by Lucy Ann Moll

Jennifer asked me how to change her thoughts. She had spiraled deep into discouragement and wanted to feel like her old self: upbeat, positive, happy. “This isn’t me,” she shared. “I keep thinking negatively about everything over and over and over. I don’t know how to stop.”

In this article, you learn three new ways to think about your thoughts and learn how to stop life-sapping thinking:

1. Ask yourself if your thoughts glorify God.

2. Change the thoughts he wants you to change

3. Take every thought captive.

1. Ask Yourself an Important Question

What you say to yourself matters. What you think becomes who you are. You want to think well, don’t you? Then you need to ask if your thoughts glorify God.

Words kill, words give life;

they’re either poison or fruit–

you choose. Prov. 18:21

A helpful place to begin is writing down your thoughts in a small, spiral notebook that’s easy to carry with you. When a negative thought pops up, write it down and note what was happening around the time of the thought. Do this for about three days. Don’t concern yourself with changing your thoughts at first. The point is to become aware of them.

You may become aware of thoughts you didn’t even know you were thinking!

Do you say one of these uglies to yourself?

Very often women silently tell themselves things like:

• I’m such an idiot.

• No one likes me.

• I’m ugly.

• I can’t do anything right.

Did you have any of these thoughts?

Practical help: Review your list of thoughts. Which are the most common ones? When did you tend to have them? Are they glorifying to God? Jennifer had most of her automatic, negative thoughts in the morning before she got out of bed and asked God to show them to her. She wrote out Psalm 139:1-2:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24 

Like Jennifer, you can ask yourself whether your thoughts are glorifying to God.

2. Change Your Thoughts

Which thoughts is God nudging you to change? Not sure? You could measure your thoughts by the instruction of Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Jennifer noted that one of her recurring thoughts was, “I’m never going to get better.” This thought is in opposition to “whatever is true.” As a Christian, Jennifer is promised by God to become more and more like Jesus Christ, who says “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10b). This process is called “progressive sanctification.”

When she told herself this life-killing lie, her discouragement worsened. Has this happened to you too? Sadly, negative thinking begets negative emotions. Conversely, says Brian S. Borgman in Feelings and Faith, “Right thinking about God produces and cultivates godly emotions such as peace, joy confidence, and hope.”

You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Practical step: Measure your thoughts against Phil. 4:8 and ask God which one you need to change.

3. Take Every Thought Captive

God wants you to walk in the truth. You Enemy has a game plan to get you to believe lies — lies about yourself, about your circumstances, and about the Gospel.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

To take every thought captive to obey Christ, you need to replace the lies with the truth. Go through the list of thoughts you wrote down. For each one that is not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, or commendable, find a Bible verse that replaces the lie with the truth. Jot down the Bible verses you’ve found on index cards or sticky notes.

Yes, it is work to find life-giving Bible verses and write them on card or notes but well worth it. Do you think that looking up verses isn’t worth the effort? Do you have other obstacles? What are they? Why not discuss them with a trusted Christian friend?

2 examples to get you get you started.

Life-sapping thought: God doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care.

Life-giving truth: “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

Life-sapping thought: Life must go well for me. If it doesn’t, this proves I’m a worthless loser.

Life-giving truth: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13.

Practical help: Each time your have a negative, life-sapping thought, read the index card or sticky note you made with the life-giving truth. As you repeat this process of taking every thought captive to obey Christ, you will discover that the negative thoughts diminish in frequency and power.

This was Jennifer’s discovery. As she read John 10:10 each time she thought “I’m never going to get better,” she noticed that she thought it less often and she experienced hope and joy. She’s applying the same process to other life-sapping thoughts she has. Her discouragement if lifting. She’s beginning to feel like her old self.

And it all began with thinking about her thoughts. Do you want to replace your negative thoughts too? May I invite you to contact me? We can set up a time to talk on the phone for a free 15-minute consult. I also have a downloadable ebook you make like — “Transform Your Thoughts Journal.”

Sharing hope with your heart,

Lucy Ann Moll

Posted at: https://www.lucyannmoll.com/think-about-your-thoughts/

3 Ways to Help a Friend with Depression

by Justin Taylor

British pastor-theologian Mark Meynell’s When Darkness Seems My Closest Friend: Reflections on Life and Ministry with Depression (SPCK, 2018) is the most helpful thing I have read in understanding serious depression.

It also contains counsel on how friends can help their brothers and sisters with this affliction. In the book, he lays out three categories in particular: (1) be present, (2) persist, and (3) reassure.

Here is an edited excerpt from a section in the book.

1. Be Present

This is where Job’s friends got it right initially. They simply met with this overwhelmed, broken soul in companionable silence, on the very ash-heap where he sat scraping the dirt out of his aching sores. It was a pitiful scene. They wept with him and sat with him for a whole week (Job 2:8, 11–13). In contrast to so many, they moved towards another’s pain instead of recoiling from it. That takes guts by itself. It is a remarkable act, for which Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar deserve great credit, at least. It would have been emotionally exhausting and costly. What’s more, they resisted the urge to speak.

Silence is scarce in today’s world, but it is so precious. Its absence is one possible reason why it feels so threatening. Wherever we go, it seems that we must be accompanied by music, advertising, tannoy announcements, general chatter and hubbub. We can’t even escape being serenaded in public toilets. This makes it even harder for modern people to resist plugging every conversation gap with something else. It takes practice to hold back.

My problem is that I am all too aware of another’s awkwardness with silence. I can pick up on any anxieties about saying the wrong thing or feeling helpless. That can then be counterproductive, ironically making matters harder. So, even though being a good friend is not exactly a matter of skills to study, it is possible to invest in learning how this can be done better. We can do a lot worse than developing an ease and a contentedness with silence. Practice using the time to reflect on life, to pray and praise, to read, and ultimately just to ‘be’. That must be a beneficial exercise in our 24/7 culture anyway. I, for one, enjoy the companionship of being in a room with others while we all just read our books!

For I have found that I most want others ‘to be’ for me, rather than ‘to do’ for me. I long for them to have the confidence to know that their friendship in and of itself brings healing, that I don’t need their answers or action plans. If I did, I would ask for them—and sometimes I do. I wish they knew that feeling helpless is actually OK—at least it demonstrates an awareness of the affliction’s nature! And it is fair to say that sharing silence with a friend will never by itself do harm, and may well do great good. That seems counter-intuitive because of its apparent passivity. But I do believe that it is a profound act of love, simply because someone else’s time is such a precious gift. Especially these days. American novelist Margaret Runbeck captured the paradox well: ‘Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.’

However, it is also true that physical presence may not literally be what is needed (which will come as a relief to those who have little time to spare). For someone in the cave, it is as good to know that a friend is constantly there. Solitude (which should not be confused with loneliness) can be helpful at times, especially for those who are more introverted. But, at those points, it is vital to be reminded that, even when I am out of sight, I am not out of mind. So a friend’s presence might simply amount to a regular text message to ‘check in’, to ask how the day is, for example. That’s not so difficult, surely. Some might worry that’s just a token gesture. But I would far rather have gestures than absence. Without gestures, my mind spins ever darker explanations from my own failures.

At its heart, this is a question of relationship quality and trust. This is why the next aspect is crucial. It is also the toughest.

2. Persist

It is vital to avoid the Job’s comforter syndrome, whereby one probes to get at the roots of the suffering so as to satisfy one’s own theological framework. Furthermore, asking questions is not an opportunity to road-test any psychotherapeutic ambitions or have a stab at amateur diagnosis on the back of a couple of interesting blogposts. It may be that the best help a friend can offer is to point the way to a professional therapist, if this is needed—and in my experience, it usually is. But a friend’s most important asset is the most obvious: simple, accepting friendship. Come what may.

The purpose of gentle enquiry is simple—to show interest in the cave-dweller, to seek understanding, to help him or her to feel heard. In fact, others’ attempted understanding (however imperfect) is what I have craved more than anything. Especially when I didn’t really understand what was happening myself. Throughout the cave experience, others’ attempts to understand has been the surest way of feeling valued.

So ask open-ended questions. Gently probe the person’s experience to find anything that connects. Even if you can’t find them, offer analogies as they occur to you, but move on quickly if they don’t resonate. Here are a few simple suggestions to give the general gist:

• Can you say what makes it so hard right now?

• Can you say more about what you said the other day?

• What do you wish others understood?

• Is it like trying to hear yourself think next to a traffic junction, or something else?

• Are there times of day that are worse than others?

• Have you met others with similar pain? Did that help a bit?

• Have you tried to write some of this down?

Notice the focus here: it’s far more a matter of description than diagnosis. Attempting this surely lifts much of the pressure, because most of us don’t have anything like the skills be a good friend. If willing. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to encounter this. Writer and actor Stephen Fry was absolutely right:

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.

It is worth saying that good friends need to decide in advance never to be shocked or thrown. This is not to suggest appearing unaffected or unmoved, nor to deny the possibility of shocking and difficult things being said. Indeed, these may well require some sort of action to be taken. But it is vital not to panic or show alarm during the conversation. For the only way to coax someone out of the cave is to offer space that is safe and secure.

Finally, despite everything so far, it may well be that there are actually things to do. Everyone is different, and nothing should be imposed, only offered. Talk about it!

This is a far from exhaustive list:

• Pray! And perhaps send a text to say what you particularly prayed for. The cave’s deepest recesses somehow make prayer impossible. That’s one of its cruelest hallmarks. Sometimes it was even unbearable to hear someone praying for me—perverse and absurd though that sounds. Please don’t condemn that – but pray on regardless. Perhaps use the psalmist’s prayers for himself as a steer.

• Share: it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so it is always a matter of knowing friends well. But sharing a song, a poem, a line, a verse—anything really—that you find helpful yourself can be wonderful. Don’t be didactic, though. Avoid things that ‘they jolly well ought to have realized by now’. And don’t be offended if what you share doesn’t connect.

• Accompany: even though I have found therapy to be lifesaving at times, I still find myself descending as an appointment draws near. I have rarely needed someone to help me do this, but I know it can be so helpful. So offer to go along to an appointment, saying you’re happy just to sit in the waiting room. That speaks volumes. Or perhaps it is simply a matter of keeping an eye out in a crowd in case some protection is helpful, such as at coffee time after church or in the canteen at work.

• Hospitality: to have friends share their home, while making clear it comes without expectations of being sparkling company, can be liberating. Just offering a ‘normal’ environment, while family chaos continues all around, is such a gift. Please don’t invite others along without agreeing on it, though, even with the best of motives.

Above all, whatever you do offer, don’t give up on doing it.

3. Reassure

One hallmark of friendship highlighted by the book of Proverbs is time spent in conversation. It may be a matter of sharing advice and experience:

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. (Proverbs 27:9)

Yet even more significant perhaps is the willingness to say difficult or unpalatable things. In fact, such willingness should be regarded as definitive:

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:6)

It is precisely because friends are motivated by love that they should be trusted. A bogus sycophant is as worthless as a fairweather friend. But when it comes to supporting cave-dwellers, caution is crucial. A wounding, accusatory or challenging word, however well-intentioned or apparently necessary, merely twists the knife still further. It is not even a question of thinking twice before saying such things—I would strongly urge avoiding doing so altogether, unless circumstances really make it necessary. Otherwise, you will only compound the guilt and shame explored in earlier chapters. I have been on the receiving end of such words, and they have probably driven me closer to the edge than anything else.

Then, there are some lines that should be removed from your pastoral phrase book at all costs:

• Why can’t you just snap out of it?

• Just think positive—none of this negativity helps anyone.

• Confess your sins, and this will all go away.

• Take your pills, and it’ll be fine/you must stop your pills because they’re dragging you down.

• He/she/I has/have been through far worse – what are you complaining about?

• God won’t give you more than you can handle.

• It’s sinful to be joyless/anxious/frightened/lose perspective.

Instead, a good friend takes note of the emotional temperature. I have always loved this proverb because it perfectly captures those who fail to do this (and it is surely worth bearing in mind if you plan church worship services):

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. (Proverbs 25:20)

Think. Listen. Pray. Ask yourself, ‘What does this heavy heart most need from me right now?’ This is where words of reassurance come in. If the fog has descended, and reality has been distorted or entirely obscured, then a friend’s greatest gift is to be a counterbalance. To be a Katniss to a Peeta. To offer perspective where it is evaporating, to offer alternative interpretations where only the darkest appear to make sense.

Therapists helpfully refer to the problem of catastrophizing. This is a tendency to accept only the worst explanations for something, or to believe that the most terrible outcomes are possible, and even inevitable. It is especially common in those who have experienced trauma or tragedy. It makes sense because they have known catastrophe, and so, not unreasonably, fear its repetition. But it makes everything get out of proportion.

So one way to reassure is to open up the possibility of other interpretations, to talk us down from believing the worst. To be the person who can say ‘real’ or ‘not real’. It might be a matter of gently offering alternative explanations for not hearing from someone in a while, or simple reminders of the wonders of unshakeable gospel grace, or just a silent arm around the shoulder. Anything really.

You can buy the book here.

You should also know that in July of 2020, Crossway will be publishing two companion books by David Murray:

• Why Am I Feeling Like This? A Teen’s Guide to Freedom from Anxiety and Depression

• Why Is My Teenager Feeling Like This? A Guide for Helping Teens through Anxiety and Depression

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/3-ways-help-friend-depression/

12 Life Giving Bible Verses for Depression

 Stephen Altrogge

Are there Bible verses for depression?

It depends what you mean.

The Bible is not a dispensary that we come to for our daily dose of inspiration or good feelings. The Bible is primarily the grand story of God’s plan to redeem a people for himself for the glory of his name.

Nevertheless, the Bible does speak directly to the depressed, which is good news for people like me who often find themselves engulfed in the darkness.

So yes, there are Bible verses for depression and hopelessness. These verses shine light into dark places, give hope to the hopeless, and allow the depressed person to have God’s perspective rather than their own dismal view.

If you’re depressed, burn the following verses on your heart. Print them out. Think about them and rejoice in them. They can be life to you.

Now, one thing that’s really important to note as you read these verses. You probably won’t FEEL any different after reading these verses.

There’s this weird idea in some Christian circles that the moment you change your thinking your feelings will also change. That as you read these Bible verses for depression, the gloom will suddenly lift.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, especially when it comes to mental illness. But here’s the good news: all these promises are TRUE. They don’t depend on you. They’re all about God and his mighty works on your behalf.

As you read these, thank God that they’re true, regardless of what you feel.

Here are eleven bible verses for depression. May these give you hope and strength as you wait for God to lead you out of the Valley of Darkness.

1. Deuteronomy 31:8

2. Isaiah 41:10

3. Psalm 40:1-3

4. Psalm 3:3

5. Psalm 34:18-19

6. Isaiah 40:31

7. Isaiah 42:3

8. Matthew 11:28-30

9. Romans 8:38-39

10. Psalm 34:17

11. Psalm 42:11

12. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Bible Verse About Depression #1: God Will Never Leave You

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Don’t be dismayed because God is with you! Just as he swore to never desert the people of Israel, he will NEVER leave you or forsake you because you are in Christ. You are his child, and like a dad clearing a path through the woods for his small child, so God is going ahead of you, clearing the way.

Bible Verse For Depression #2: God Will Strengthen You and Uphold You

 …fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

In your depression, you feel like you can’t hang on to God. Like your weak and helpless, unable to do anything. Sometimes you can’t even get out of bed. The last thing you feel is “spiritual“.

Good news! You don’t have to hold on to God because he is holding to you. When you fall, he will uphold you with his righteous right hand. When you are weak, he will strengthen you. Even if you don’t have assurance of your salvation, you can be assured that God has a firm hold on you.

The reality is, you ARE weak, you’re just feeling it more acutely now. Take heart, because God loves to sustain the weak. God’s grace is sufficient for you, even in these deep, dark times.

Bible Verse About Depression #3: God Hears Your Cry

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God (Psalm 40:1-3).

God hears your cries and sees your tears. He is not ignoring you and his heart breaks over your suffering. He takes no delight in the suffering of his people.

You can be sure that God will respond to your pleas for mercy. Maybe not when you want or in the way you want, but he is your loving, merciful Father, and he can’t ignore the cries of his children. He will put a new song in your mouth and set your feet upon the rock. Joy will come in the morning.

Bible Verse For Depression #4: The Lord Is Your Shield

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head (Psalm 3:3).

God is your shield when you are weak, helpless, and hopeless. He is standing over you, guarding you, protecting you, keeping watch over you. Even though you are broken by depression, the almighty God is your shield.

He will lift your head out of the dirt and set you on your feet again. He will move you to sweet places and green pastures. You can trust HIS sustaining, protecting power even though you have no strength in yourself.

Bible Verse For Depression #5: God Is Near To The Brokenhearted

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalm 34:18-19).

When you are sunk into the depths of depression, you feel constantly brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. The soundtrack of your life is in a minor key.

God has a special place in his heart for the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. When you find yourself under a crushing burden, God draws near to you. He sees you in the midst of your affliction and moves toward you with deliverance. Even though you can’t feel his presence, God is nearer to you now than ever, and he is working on your behalf.

Bible Verse About Depression #6: The Lord Will Renew Your Strength

…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31).

Few things sap your strength like depression or feeling anxious. Everything seems overwhelming and impossible. Even the most mundane acts require a massive amount of effort.

The good news is that God is in the business of giving strength to those who have none. He loves to sustain those who are fainting and give life to those who feel completely depleted. Wait for the Lord and he will give you life. He has promised to renew your strength even though you don’t feel it now. He has good things in store for you.

Bible Verse For Depression #7: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break

…a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice (Isaiah 42:3).

A bruised reed is one that that is on the verge of breaking, and a faintly burning wick is a flame that is almost entirely extinguished. That’s a very apt description of depression. You feel as though you’re about to be completely broken or totally extinguished.

And though others may judge you because they don’t understand what you’re experiencing, God most certainly does not.

Posted at: https://theblazingcenter.com/2018/02/bible-verses-for-depression.html

But doesn’t break bruised reeds or blow out flames that are sputtering and smoking. Rather, he nurtures them and heals them and brings them back to life. God doesn’t despise you in your bruised, broken, smoldering state. Rather, he is near to you, nurturing you and sustaining you.

Bible Verse About Depression #8: Come All Who Labor and Are Heavy Laden

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). 

Jesus gives rest to those who are crushed by the weight of the world. He is gentle and lowly in heart, and he doesn’t rebuke those who find themselves laboring under the overwhelming yoke of depression.

Come to Jesus in your depression and find rest for your soul. Let him carry the heavy end of your burden. Confess your utter weakness and frailty and let him be the burden bearer.

Bible Verse For Depression #9: Nothing Can Separate You From God

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

When you’re haunted by the specter of depression, you feel very cut off from the love of God. Everything seems dark and bleak, as if there will never be another good thing in your life. You feel as though God has left you to wallow in the mire.

Nothing could be further from the truth. You are not outside of God’s sovereign will and gracious love. Because you are in Christ, nothing can separate you from God’s love. The only way God will stop loving you is if he stops loving Jesus. Though you may feel alone and unloved, there is absolutely NOTHING, including depression, that can stop God from loving you.

Your body may be a broken down temple, but that doesn’t diminish God’s love for you one bit.

Bible Verse About Depression #10: The Lord Hears Your Cry

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles (Psalm 34:17).

When you are sunk into the valley of depression, it feels like you are totally and completely alone. Like no one cares, like no one is listening. You feel isolated, cut off, and like God has abandoned you.

But has not, and could never abandon you. When you cry to him for help, he hears and delivers. Maybe the deliverance won’t come tomorrow, but make no mistake, it will come. God does not leave his people to wallow and blunder their way through depression and hopelessness.

He hears every cry you utter, sees every tear that rolls down your cheek. You are not alone. You have a good Father who is with you and for you.

Bible Verse For Depression #11: Hope In God

Why are you cast down, O my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God (Psalm 42:11).

Depression and hopelessness cause turmoil deep within your soul. You feel crushed, broken, downhearted, overwhelmed, and like there is no hope for tomorrow. But even though it feels like you have no hope for tomorrow, you DO have hope.

Why do you have hope? Because God is your salvation. If your hope depended on you and your ability to pull yourself up, you would have no hope. But your hope depends on God. You shall again praise him, even though it feels like that day will never come. Hope in God and trust him to lead you out of the dark valley you find yourself in.

Bible Verse About Depression #12: Comforted By God

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

When you’re in the midst of a bout of depression or hopelessness or anxiety, it feels like you’re all alone. Like no one understands and like no one cares about you. But there is at least one person who deeply loves you and desires to comfort you, and that is God.

God is the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. Run to him in the midst of your brokenness. Flee to him for comfort and grace and strength. He desires to meet you and to comfort you and refresh you.

Don’t try to make it through the darkness of depression on your own. Run to the God of all comfort. Take shelter in the Father of mercies. He is for you and on your side.

Fear Not The Storm

Charles Spurgeon, who was no stranger to depression, said:

Love letters from heaven are often sent in black-edged envelopes. The cloud that is black with horror is big with mercy. Fear not the storm. It brings healing in its wings and when Jesus is with you in the vessel the tempest only hastens the ship to its desired haven.

In the midst of your depression, all you see are clouds that are black with horror. Remember, it is God himself who controls the storms and Jesus is with you in your boat. You may not feel his nearness and it may seem that he is asleep in the stern, but he is with you nonetheless.

When the moment is right, he will deliver you. Until then, hold fast to these verses.

THE BITTER CUP: GOD'S GRACE IN DEPRESSION

Lauren Bowerman 

How do you tell people who look to you as a "strong Christian woman" that only weeks before you lay curled on your bathroom floor, barely able to breathe, except to utter the words to God or whoever might be listening, "Why don't you love me?"

Two years ago, I was introduced to depression for the first time in my life.

It was bewildering. I was a strong believer, newly engaged, serving at my local church, living with some of my best friends... yet a deep weariness seemed to cling to me to day after day. A dark cloud—one that wouldn’t lift—hung over me for days that stretched into months.

I shouldn't be feeling this way, should I? I thought. I should be happy, right?

WHEN THE DARKNESS DOESN’T LIFT

I discovered that my depression was caused by a medication I was on, and praise God, the dark cloud lifted when I changed medication. But then my fiancé (now my husband) had his first panic attack. One attack turned into two, which turned into three.

The frequency of the attacks continued to increase, and what followed was months and months of unexplainable depression and anxiety. I found myself just a few weeks into marriage, holding my husband as he shook with yet another panic attack.

Day after day panic attacks and depression racked through our little family of two. I would try to remember a time before the darkness, try to make myself believe that the darkness would lift.

But what if it didn't?

“HOW COULD A GOOD GOD ALLOW THIS?”

I felt helpless and alone. I would be fine one day, but the next day my husband would have a depressive spell, and I would find myself spiraling down with him. I was hopeless.

“I couldn’t see God through the darkness.

I couldn't see God through the darkness.

I had walked with God for years. I had gone to seminary to develop a theological foundation. I had done studies on the character of God. And yet I found myself wondering, "How could a good God walk his children through something so desperately painful and difficult?

They say that hindsight is 20/20. That it's easier to see the meaning of a season when you have a bigger perspective. But even though we've had more light days than dark in the last few months, I know our battle with this darkness is not over.

QUESTIONING MY SUFFERING

Sometimes I feel like I'm gaining perspective. On the lighter days, it's often easier for me to choose joy and feel hopeful and trust God. But sometimes—even on a good day—I look back at those dark days (or look forward to the inevitable dark days to come) and wonder . . .

Does all this suffering even mean anything?

I know I'm not the only one who asks this question. I've heard the question from friends wrestling with the repercussions of childhood trauma, from family members questioning why innocent children die, from women suffering daily from chronic illness, from couples struggling with infertility.

“Does all this suffering even mean anything?

You've probably heard the question echo around your own mind as you wade through the brokenness of the world. It's a haunting and heavy question: Does all this suffering even mean anything?

Over the last year, in this combination of dark and light days, days of hopelessness contrasted with hopefulness, seasons of fear and seasons of deep trust, God has been gracious to give me some perspective. Maybe not 20/20, but at least some growth in understanding. I pray what I’m learning meets you in the midst of your darkness.

SUFFERING IS TO BE EXPECTED

I'm not sure where we got the notion that as Christians our lives should be comfortable. Nowhere in Scripture does God promise a life of ease and happiness on this side of heaven; and if he did, that promise of ease would not be a kindness to us.

“God promises—even amidst inevitable suffering—that we will experience a deep, abiding peace and joy in Christ.

No, we’re not promised comfort. But, as Peter writes, we are promised suffering: "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you" (1 Pet. 4:12).

Suffering is not all we’re promised, however. Peter goes on to write, “But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed” (1 Pet. 4:13). God promises—even amidst inevitable suffering—that we will experience a deep, abiding peace and joy in Christ.

Suffering, then, is not a mark of failure or weakness. It's not a sign of God's disappointment in you. Suffering is a means of grace. Here are three reasons why.

SUFFERING SHOWS US THAT GOD LOVES US

When you love someone, you often try to show them your love through acts of kindness, through words of encouragement, through gifts that make them feel loved and cared for, through hugs and kisses and sweet gestures. But God's love is sometimes very unlike man's love.

Sometimes I feel that the way God is acting towards me—to put me through some hard thing, to walk me through a dark and difficult season—sometimes I feel it reflects a lack of love towards me. I feel like God doesn’t love me in those times . . .

But I must remember: God's love is steadfast and sure (Ps. 36:7; Isa. 54:10; Heb. 6:19-20). It is continual and comprehensive (Ps. 107; Isa. 54:8; Rom. 8:39). God's love is unchanging, no matter what darkness he walks me through.

In fact—and this might sound crazy, but bear with me—oftentimes, God's love for me is magnified when he walks me through darkness. Charles Spurgeon writes,

"So far as personal sorrows are concerned, it would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by His hand, that my trials were never measured out by Him, nor sent to me by His arrangement of their weight and quantity.

Oh, that would be bitterness indeed! But, on the contrary . . .

May we see that our heavenly Father fills the cup with loving tenderness, and holds it out, and says, ‘Drink, my child; bitter as it is, it is a love-potion which is meant to do thee permanent good.’"

God is good even when he gives me a bitter cup to drink. 

SUFFERING POINTS US TO SOMETHING BETTER

Sometimes the depth of suffering is indescribable. People ask how you are, but how do you describe the deep and continual loneliness you feel? How do you explain the spiral of utter hopelessness and darkness you're trapped in? How do you tell someone about the weight that you constantly feel in your gut?

Suffering is deep and painful.

But it is expressly in these moments of suffering that we must remember the outcome of enduring it:

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God. . . . Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” —Rom. 5:1, 3-4

Suffering—if we let it—points us to hope. And that hope is rooted in Jesus.

No matter what you’re going through, look to Jesus.

“God is good even when he gives me a bitter cup to drink.

When things are good, look to Jesus.

When you’re shuddering from a panic attack, look to Jesus.

When you can't get up from your puddle of tears on the bathroom floor, look to Jesus.

SUFFERING PRODUCES IN US SOMETHING THAT’S WORTH EVERYTHING

Oftentimes the growth produced in suffering isn't seen quickly. Sometimes you can’t see the growth for weeks, months, or even years.

It’s in these seasons though that, unbeknownst to us, God is growing in us long-suffering, patience, and deep trust.

“God draws us near in the discomfort and the dissatisfaction.

It's uncomfortable. It's frustrating. It's scary. But somehow, suffering serves to sanctify us. Suffering exposes our sin, grows our trust, and deepens our love of God.

When we're comfortable, we can easily become blind to the sanctifying work the Lord needs to do in our hearts. We think we're okay, that we've got a hold on our faith, that we’re fully trusting the Lord in every area.

But it seems that God grows our faith and trust in him more when we are uncomfortable and dissatisfied with our circumstances. It seems that he draws us near in the discomfort and the dissatisfaction.

It’s in those seasons of suffering that—if we look to Jesus—we experience an intimacy with the Lord unlike anything else.

PRAISE GOD FOR SUFFERING

Therefore we can praise God for suffering. We can confidently face yet another trial, whether it's depression, conflict, illness, infertility, poverty, loneliness, darkness, or death. We can even thank God for such trials, because we know that there is no greater growth than that which comes from the depths of darkness. There is no prayer more genuine than the prayer that flows before the tears have dried.

“The “better thing” is not our earthly comforts, but nearness to God.

The "better thing" is not our earthly comforts, but nearness to God, which he has been gracious to offer us in the depths of our despair and brokenness.

Because isn't Christ's graciously-extended hand made more glorious by the fact that it’s extended to wretched, dead, and wayward sinners? Isn't his love magnified by the fact that we are so utterly unlovable?

It's all grace.

Salvation. Suffering. Sanctification.

All of it is grace.

GOD’S GRACE IN YOUR SUFFERING

In whatever painful season you're currently walking through, praise God for this hard path, because it is precisely this difficult thing that is growing you more into God's likeness.

Remind yourself of the unchanging goodness of God.

Remind yourself of his kindness to you, even in giving you—especially in giving you—this difficult thing.

It’s grace.

It's all grace.

Lauren Bowerman lives just outside of Denver, CO but has been privileged to call many cities, states, countries, and continents home. Her transient life has cultivated in her a deep love for diverse cultures and people. As a writer and a pastor’s wife, she is passionate about encouraging God’s people through writing on her blog and through discipleship.

posted at: https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/2019/5/20/the-bitter-cup-gods-grace-in-depression

God of the Besieged

Article by Todd Stryd

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about “helplessness.” Or, you might say I’ve been pondering the different ways in which we find ourselves “helpless” in this life. For example, I am acutely aware of my helplessness as I watch my son learn the subtleties of playing defense in basketball. For myself, I notice how helpless I am to stop my hairline from receding. On a more global scale, I feel helpless as I watch all manner of ecological or political foolishness. But though I notice things like these from time to time, as a counselor, helplessness is something that I see and feel on a daily basis.

In a way, I’ve resigned myself to it. Helplessness is continually present in the counseling room because we are often powerless to determine the outcome of our problems. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a wayward child, the death of a loved one, chronic pain, being marginalized, receiving a diagnosis of schizophrenia, or attempting to reconcile with an estranged family member—our ability to accomplish our ends, alleviate our suffering, or change our situations can be extremely limited.

Scripture speaks to this. It validates our lack of control and even admonishes us to not assume the certainty of our plans or abilities (see Psalm 103:14, James 4:13-17, and Proverbs 19:21). In light of this, we could be tempted to adopt a posture of fatalism and hopelessness. But in the wisdom of God, helplessness does not lead to hopelessness, and powerlessness does not lead to fatalism. Though Scripture speaks of our limitations and utter dependence as creatures, it simultaneously proclaims God’s power and love. It is God’s power to act and his love for his people within their helplessness that mingles hope with helplessness.

Psalm 31:21 wonderfully captures this relationship:

Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

The imagery used by the psalmist in this verse is that of an extremely dire circumstance: the besieging of a city. It is the perfect illustration of helplessness because a besieged city is surrounded by an attacking enemy and cut off from all resources. There is no escape and no control—the only thing to do is wait. But note that while the setting is ominous, the focal point of the verse is positive, even uplifting. It speaks of God as the one who wondrously shows his “steadfast love” to his people when they are in a place of utter helplessness. So though besieged and helpless, the psalmist was not hopeless. Paul proposes the same thing in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and then again in Romans 8:35-39: Because of the love of God we do not lose heart, for nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.

In counseling ministry, this reality plays out every day. Sometimes the helplessness that I feel is due to a situation that I know is impossible to fix or change. Other times, the helplessness I feel is due to the complexity of the problem in front of me and I’m not actually sure how to help. Or, I experience helplessness when I know exactly what needs to happen, but I am powerless to bring it about for the person.

While the helplessness I feel may be more or less pronounced, more or less devastating, more or less urgent, in all cases, my hope as a helper, and the hope of those I am helping rests in the God who shows his steadfast love while we are helpless. Psalm 31:21 teaches me to humbly accept my limitations in ministry to suffering, struggling people. In light of this I do not lose hope, for our God is the God of the besieged, the God who is a hope for the helpless.

Posted at: https://www.ccef.org/resources/blog/god-of-the-besieged?fbclid=IwAR33_u8T237McT8Da-OvwDb5sWjJWRquuxf3xCByn1NYUeiuZxA7v9NFOFc

Depression: God is Not Silent When We Suffer

If we know anything about God, we know that He comes close to those who suffer, so keep your eyes open for Him.

By Edward T. Welch

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Never has so much been crammed into one word. Depression feels terrifying. Your world is dark, heavy, and painful. Physical pain, you think, would be much better—at least the pain would be localized. Instead, depression seems to go to your very soul, affecting everything in its path.

Dead, but walking, is one way to describe it. You feel numb. Perhaps the worst part is that you remember when you actually feltsomething and the contrast between then and now makes the pain worse.

So many things about your life are difficult right now. Things you used to take for granted—a good night’s sleep, having goals, looking forward to the future—now seem beyond your reach. Your relationships are also affected. The people who love you are looking for some emotional response from you, but you do not have one to give.

Does it help to know that you are not alone? These days depression affects as much as 25 percent of the population. Although it has always been a human problem, no one really knows why. But what Christians do know is that God is not silent when we suffer. On every page of Scripture, God’s depressed children have been able to find hope and a reason to endure. For example, take 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV):

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Come to God with your suffering

You can start to experience the inward renewal that the apostle Paul experienced when you come to God with your suffering. God seems far away when we suffer. You believe that He exists, but it seems as if He is too busy with everything else, or He just doesn’t care. After all, God is powerful enough to end your suffering, but He hasn’t.

If you start there, you’ll reach a dead end pretty quickly. God hasn’t promised to explain everything about what He does and what He allows. Instead, He encourages us to start with Jesus. Jesus is God the Son, and He is certainly loved by his heavenly Father. Yet Jesus also went through more suffering than anyone who ever lived!

Here we see that love and suffering can co-exist. And when you start reading the Bible and encounter people like Job, Jeremiah, and the apostle Paul, you get a sense that suffering is actually the well-worn path for God’s favorites. This doesn’t answer the question, Why are you doing this to me? But it cushions the blow when you know that God understands. You aren’t alone. If we know anything about God, we know that He comes close to those who suffer, so keep your eyes open for Him.

God speaks to you in the Bible

Keep your heart open to the fact that the Bible has much to say to you when you are depressed. Here are a few suggestions of Bible passages you can read. Read one each day and let it fill your mind as you go about your life.

• Read about Jesus’ suffering in Isaiah 53 and Mark 14. How does it help you to know that Jesus is a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief?

• Use the Psalms to help you find words to talk to God about your heart. Make Psalm 88 and Psalm 86 your personal prayers to God.

• Be alert to spiritual warfare. Depressed people are very vulnerable to Satan’s claim that God is not good. Jesus’ death on the cross proves God’s love for you. It’s the only weapon powerful enough to stand against Satan’s lies. (Romans 5:6-8, 1 John 4:9,10)

• Don’t think your case is unique. Read Hebrews 11 and 12. Many have walked this path before you and they will tell you that God did not fail them.

• Remember your purpose for living. (Matthew 22:37-39, 1 Corinthians 6:20,  2 Corinthians 5:15, Galatians 5:6)

• Learn about persevering and enduring. (Romans 5:3, Hebrews 12:1, James 1:2-4)

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

Try one step at a time

Granted, it seems impossible. How can someone live without feelings? Without them you have no drive, no motivation. Could you imagine walking without any feeling in your legs? It would be impossible.

Or would it? Perhaps you could walk if you practiced in front of a large mirror and watched your legs moving. One step, wobble, another step. It would all be very mechanical, but it could be done.

People have learned to walk in the midst of depression. It doesn’t seem natural, though other people won’t notice either the awkwardness or the heroism involved. The trek begins with one step, then another. Remember, you are not alone. Many people have taken this journey ahead of you.

As you walk, you will find that it is necessary to remember to use every resource you have ever learned about persevering through hardship. It will involve lots of moment by moment choices: 1) take one minute at a time, 2) read one short Bible passage, 3) try to care about someone else, 4) ask someone how they are doing, and so on.

You will need to do this with your relationships, too. When you have no feelings, how to love must be redefined. Love, for you, must become an active commitment to patience and kindness.

Consider what accompanies your depression

As you put one foot in front of the other, don’t forget that depression doesn’t exempt you from the other problems that plague human beings. Some depressed people have a hard time seeing the other things that creep in—things like anger, fear, and an unforgiving spirit. Look carefully to see if your depression is associated with things like these:

Do you have negative, critical, or complaining thoughts? These can point to anger. Are you holding something against another person?

Do you want to stay in bed all day? Are there parts of your life you want to avoid?

Do you find that things you once did easily now strike terror in your heart? What is at the root of your fear?

Do you feel like you have committed a sin that is beyond the scope of God’s forgiveness? Remember that the apostle Paul was a murderer. And remember: God is not like other people—He doesn’t give us the cold shoulder when we ask for forgiveness.

Do you struggle with shame? Shame is different from guilt. When you are guilty you feel dirty because of what you did; but with shame you feel dirty because of what somebody did to you. Forgiveness for your sins is not the answer here because you are not the one who was wrong. But the cross of Christ is still the answer. Jesus’ blood not only washes us clean from the guilt of our own sins, but also washes away the shame we experience when others sin against us.

Do you experience low self-worth? Low self-worth points in many directions. Instead of trying to raise your view of yourself, come at it from a completely different angle. Start with Christ and His love for you. Let that define you and then share that love with others.

Will it ever be over?

Will you always struggle with depression? That is like asking, “Will suffering ever be over?” Although we will have hardships in this world, depression rarely keeps a permanent grip on anyone. When we add to that the hope, purpose, power, and comfort we find in Christ, depressed people can usually anticipate a ray of hope or a lifting of their spirits.

FREQUENTLY-ASKED QUESTIONS

Is it okay to get medication?

The severe pain of depression makes you welcome anything that can bring relief. For some people, medication brings relief from some symptoms. Most family physicians are qualified to prescribe appropriate medications. If you prefer a specialist, get a recommendation for a psychiatrist, and ask these questions of your doctor and pharmacist:

• How long will it take before it is effective?

• What are some of the common side effects?

• Will it be difficult to determine which medication is effective (if your physician is prescribing two medications)?

From a Christian perspective, the choice to take medication is a wisdom issue. It is rarely a matter of right or wrong. Instead, the question to ask is, What is best and wise?

Wise people seek counsel (your physicians should be part of the group that counsels you). Wise people approach decisions prayerfully. They don’t put their hope in people or medicine but in the Lord. They recognize that medication is a blessing, when it helps, but recognize its limits. It can change physical symptoms, but not spiritual ones. It might give sleep, offer physical energy, allow you to see in color, and alleviate the physical feeling of depression. But it won’t answer your spiritual doubts, fears, frustrations, or failures.

If you choose to take medication, please consider letting wise and trusted people from your church come alongside of you. They can remind you that God is good, that you can find power to know God’s love and love others, and that joy is possible even during depression.

What do I do with thoughts about suicide?

Before you were depressed, you could not imagine thinking of suicide. But when depression descends, you may notice a passing thought about death, then another, and another, until death acts like a stalker.

Know this about depression: It doesn’t tell the whole truth. It says that you are all alone, that no one loves you, that God doesn’t care, that you will never feel any different, and you cannot go on another day. Even your spouse and children don’t seem like a reason to stay alive when depression is at its worst. Your mind tells you, Everyone will be better off without me. But this is a lie—they will not be better off without you.

Because you aren’t working with all the facts, keep it simple. Death is not your call to make. God is the giver and taker of life. As long as He gives you life, He has purposes for you.

One purpose that is always right in front of you is to love another person. Begin with that purpose and then get help from a friend or a pastor.

Depression says that you are alone and that you should act that way. But that is not true. God is with you, and He calls you to reach out to someone who will listen, care, and pray for you.

Article Posted at: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/challenges/mental-and-emotional-issues/depression-god-is-not-silent-when-we-suffer/

How to Fight For Faith in the Dark

Article by Stephen Altrogge

I’ve often said that depression is like wearing tinted glasses. Everywhere you look, things look dark. Bleak. Black. Hopeless. Helpless. The waiting room for depression says, “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.”

Depression is both a physical and spiritual affliction. Neurons and synapses fail to fire properly, leading to chemical imbalances in the brain. These imbalances cause the depressed person to feel awful, like their entire world is a raw catastrophe hovering over the depths of despair. When everything is a catastrophe, it’s easy for faith to falter and stumble.

“Depression causes a person to feel only gloom and despair, no matter what they’re thinking.”

Normally, the prescription for faith is somewhat straightforward. We read the promises of God, let them diffuse throughout our hearts, and then embrace them fully. As we embrace these promises, our faith rises. When we have more faith, there is often a physical feeling of encouragement and hope.

But with clinical depression (and most other forms of mental illness), things don’t work quite that way. Depression usually causes a person to feel only gloom and despair, no matter what they’re thinking. Filling your mind with God’s promises is necessary, but it doesn’t usually alter the way you feel. It’s like having a migraine. Believing God’s word is essential, but it won’t take away the migraine (usually).

From Gloom Toward Gladness

When all you feel is gloom, it becomes very hard to have hope, no matter what you read in Scripture. As someone who labored under a lot of depression and anxiety throughout my life, I know that it usually doesn’t help a depressed person to say, “Just believe God’s word more!”

So if you’re depressed, how can you fight for faith? How can you believe while also stumbling through the dark? Here are some things that have helped me.

1. Distinguish between fact and feeling.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that 90% of the time in the midst of my depression, my feelings have zero connection to reality. This is key when you’re in the morass of mental illness.

I feel bad because something is seriously wrong with my body. Because my brain is rebelling — not because everything is really going to pieces. Reality is outside of my broken brain. It is defined by God’s word. It’s solid. Objective. Unchangeable. If I try to process my life or circumstances through the dark lens of depression, I will be terrified.

“Depression turns our brain into a swirling mass of half-truths and distorted perceptions.”

If you’re depressed, it can be dangerous to evaluate anything in your life. Don’t scrutinize your circumstances or friendships or prospects for marriage. I can assure you that you will misinterpret reality.

Instead, simply say, “I’m leaving that to God for now. I’ll think about it later and trust him to handle it.” God is good. He is faithful. He loves you even though you don’t feel it. He can handle your life even when you can’t.

Remember, faith is not a feeling. Faith is simply believing that God will do what he said, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I can guarantee that when you’re depressed, it won’t feel like God is faithful. But that feeling simply is not true. Don’t believe it.

John Calvin, a pastor acutely sensitive to the imperfect feeling of our faith, says that true faith “clings so fast to the inmost parts that, however it seems to be shaken or to bend this way or that, its light is never so extinguished or snuffed out that it does not at least lurk as it were beneath the ashes” (Institutes). Like David prays in Psalm 139:11–12, our faith may often slip away from our sight, but it does not slip away from God who gave it in the first place.

Separate your feelings from the truth.

2. Find a friend to remind you of the truth.

Depression gets you stuck inside your head. Your brain becomes a swirling mass of half-truths and distorted perceptions. Up seems down; truth seems stranger than fiction. It’s impossible to think straight. It’s like looking upside down in a hall of darkened mirrors.

During these times, I need someone to tell me the truth. Not in a corrective way or as an exhortation, but simply as an anchor. I need someone to say, “Listen, here’s what’s true. I know it doesn’t feel true, but it’s true. Right now, you feel like you are doomed. But God is with you. He loves you and won’t let you go.”

“Just twenty minutes in the sun can do wonders for the darkened brain and the sunken soul.”

If you’re depressed, one of your greatest temptations is to shut people out. And I get that. It’s really hard to let people into the cage of your life. But you need someone to gently remind you of what’s real; a faithful friend to walk through the valley of depression with you.

When your friend speaks the truth to you, it gives you something to grab onto. In the moments of darkness, don’t believe what your mind is telling you. Believe the words of your faithful friend.

3. Give sunshine to the soul.

There is an intimate connection between the body and soul. The body often charts the way forward and the soul follows in the wake. When your body is deeply sick, it pulls your soul downward, like a weight tied around the ankle.

I’ve found that one of the most effective methods for increasing my faith begins with my body. When I exercise or go for a walk or sit in the sunshine, my body feels better. Blood and oxygen pump through my body, refreshing and nurturing it. When I feel better, I think more clearly and see things more accurately.

When I think more clearly, I can more easily process and embrace God’s promises.

When I embrace God’s promises, my faith surges.

Charles Spurgeon, who often fought depression, said,

A day’s breathing of fresh air upon the hills, or a few hours’ ramble in the beech woods’ umbrageous calm, would sweep the cobwebs out of the brain of scores of our toiling ministers who are now but half alive. A mouthful of sea air, or a stiff walk in the wind’s face, would not give grace to the soul, but it would yield oxygen to the body, which is the next best.

“God loves you even though you don’t feel it. He can handle your life even when you can’t.”

If you’re depressed, embrace the sunshine. Go for a walk or a jog. Sit on your porch and feel the warmth on your face. Drink your coffee and watch the sun rise.

You won’t feel like it. You’ll want to hole up in the darkness of your room or stay in bed. But just twenty minutes in the sun can do wonders for the darkened brain and the sunken soul.

A Grip Stronger Than Your Own

Ultimately, your hope in depression hinges on Jesus. He’s holding onto you even when it feels like you’re free falling. You may be in the dark, but your Shepherd is walking right beside you. He knows what it’s like to be overwhelmed by grief and swallowed by bleakness.

Your grip on life may falter, but his grip on you won’t.

Stephen Altrogge (@stephenaltrogge) is a husband, dad, and writer. His most recent book is entitled, Untamable God: Encountering the One Who Is Bigger, Better, and More Dangerous Than You Could Possibly Imagine. He also writes regularly at The Blazing Center.

Posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how-to-fight-for-faith-in-the-dark