Gospel Centered Life Questions

by Bob Kellemen

As a reader of my Changing Lives blog, you know that I often discuss what I call 8 ultimate life questions. Perhaps you have wondered:

“Why don’t you call them 8 ultimate life answers”?  

Michael Horton, in his fine work, The Gospel-Driven Life, notes that:

“… we typically introduce the Bible as the ‘answer to life’s questions.’ This is where the Bible becomes relevant to people ‘where they are’ in their experience. Accordingly, it is often said that we must apply the Scriptures to daily living. But this is to invoke the Bible too late, as if we already knew what ‘life’ or ‘daily living’ meant. The problem is not merely that we lack the right answers, but that we don’t even have the right questions until God introduces us to His interpretation of reality.”

Exactly!

So…let’s compare the world’s 8 ultimate life questions to the Bible’s 8 ultimate life questions—and see that the world doesn’t even get the questions right!

Ultimate Life Question # 1 

The World’s Question: “What is truth?”

The Word’s Question: “Where do we find wisdom for life in a broken world?”

Do you see how rich and robust the Word’s question is? And how real, raw, and relevant the Word’s question is? The world asks about truth in the abstract—philosophical truth. The Word asks about and provides the ultimate source of wisdom for living—how broken people live wisely in a broken world.

Ultimate Life Question # 2 

The World’s Question: “Why is there something rather than nothing?”

The Word’s Question: “Who Is God?” “What comes into our mind when we think about God?” “Whose view of God will we believe—Satan’s or Christ’s?”

When Shirley and I recently visited the Adler Planetarium in Chicago, we read displays that constantly pondered why there was something instead of nothing. They not only failed to provide an answer, they were asking a shallow, even foolish, question.

See again the richness of the Word’s question: “Whose view of God will we believe—Satan’s or Christ’s?” We all have a view of God. We are all worshipping beings. And we all follow someone’s portrait of God—either an evil portrait painted by Satan or the beautiful portrait painted by Christ—in His blood.

Ultimate Life Question # 3 

The World’s Question: “Who am I?”

The Word’s Question:” “Whose are we?” “In what story do we find ourselves?”

Wow! Just add those two letters—s and e—and what a world of difference we find between the world’s question and the Word’s question.

“Who am I” is such a tiny, puny, self-centered question. It is a question that pictures the world revolving around me. “Who am I?” is a question that can only be answered by self-sufficiency and self-reference—I am who I see and make myself to be.

“Whose are we?” is such a gigantic, even infinite, question. It is a question that pictures the universe revolving around God. “Whose am I?” is a question that can only be answered in-reference-to our Creator—coram Deo. The story of our lives is not an auto-biography. The story of our lives is a God-biography—we are each epic poems (Ephesians 2:10) written by God as pages in chapters in God’s book of eternal life.

Paul answers this ultimate life question in Romans 1:7: “Beloved by the Father and called to be saints.” We are loved sons/daughters and cleansed saints—that’s who we are because of Whose we are!

Ultimate Life Question # 4 

The World’s Question: “Why do we do the things we do?”

The Word’s Question: “What went wrong?” “What’s the root source of our problem?”

The world answers its wrong question with a wrong answer. “I do the things I do because of others—it’s my spouse’s fault, my boss’ fault, my parent’s fault.” Or, “I do the things I do because of my feelings—they are out of control, beyond my control.” Or, “I do the things I do because of my body—I need better medication because my physical brain is the ultimate source of my soulful problems.”

The Word gets to the heart of our heart problem. Yes, our life situation is an influence. Yes, our emotions are tricky and complex. Yes, our bodies are frail and fallen jars of clay. However, the root source of our problem is spiritual—it is a worship disorder. It is a loss-of-awe disorder. We are all spiritual adulterers and heart idolaters—that’s the root source of our problem. Recognition of that root source compels us to cry out in God-sufficiency for an Answer—a Person—who has paid the price for adultery and idolatry.

The Rest of the Story 

Stay tuned for my next post when we probe ultimate life questions 5-8 and compare and contrast the Word’s shallow questions with the Word’s rich questions.

Join the Conversation 

Is it a new thought for you that the world not only has foolish answers, the world also has shallow questions? If so, what impact might this realization have on your life and ministry?

How are you biblically answering life’s first four ultimate questions?

1. “Where do we find wisdom for life in a broken world?”

2. Who Is God?” “What comes into our mind when we think about God?” “Whose view of God will we believe—Satan’s or Christ’s?”

3. “Whose are we?” “In what story do we find ourselves?”

4. “What went wrong?” “What’s the root source of our problem?”

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To offer wise & loving biblical counsel, we must ask & answer gospel-centered biblical questions.

Posted at: https://www.rpmministries.org/2016/02/gospel-centered-life-questions/

18 Prayers to Pray for Unbelievers

By Tim Challies

A friend asked the question: How do I pray for unbelievers? How do I pray effectively? I trust that every Christian regularly prays for family or friends or colleagues or neighbors who do not yet know the Lord. And while we can and must pray for matters related to their lives and circumstances, the emphasis of our prayers must always be for their salvation. Here are some ways the Bible can guide our prayers.

Prayers for Salvation

We begin with prayers for salvation. Each of these prayers seeks the same thing, but in a different way or from a different angle or using different language. Each of them is grounded in a specific text of Scripture.

Pray that God would circumcise their hearts. Circumcision was the Old Testament sign of entering into God’s covenant, of being God’s people. To have a circumcised heart symbolizes having a heart that is fully joined to God, fully submissive to him. “And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live” (Deuteronomy 30:6).

Pray that God would give them a heart of flesh. The Bible contrasts a heart of flesh, a heart that is alive and responsive to God, to a heart of stone, a heart that is cold and unyielding. Pray that God would work within these unbelievers to change their hearts. “And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh…” (Ezekiel 11:19).

Pray that God would put his Spirit within them. The great joy of salvation is being indwelled by God himself. Pray that God would grant this honor to those unbelievers, that he would choose to take up residence within them. “And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules” (Ezekiel 36:27).

Pray that they would come to Christ. If unbelievers are to come to salvation, there is just one way. They must come through Christ and Christ alone. “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’” (John 14:6). Remember, too, that he is the one who calls them to come and to be relieved of the burden of their sin (see Matthew 11:28-30).

Pray that God would open their hearts to believe the gospel. Once more, God must initiate and people must respond. So pray that God would open the hearts of these unbelievers so they can in turn believe, just as Lydia did. “The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul” (Acts 16:14).

Pray that God would free them from the slavery of sin. Unbelievers may believe they are free, but they are in fact enslaved. They are slaves of sin, bound by their sin and sinfulness. Pray that God would liberate them by his gospel. “But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed” (Romans 6:17).

Pray that God would remove Satan’s blinding influence . Unbelievers have been blinded by Satan and will only ever be able to see and appreciate the gospel if God works within them. So pray that God would give them sight—spiritual sight. “In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4).

Pray that God would grant them repentance. Unbelievers cannot repent without the enabling grace of God. So pray that God would grant them repentance, that this repentance would lead them to a knowledge of the truth. Pray as well that they would come to their senses and that they would escape from the devil’s snare. “God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:25-26).

Prayers For You

You have prayed for unbelievers using different words and approaching from different angles. But you should also pray for yourself.

Pray that you will develop relationship with them. For people to be saved they must first hear the good news of the gospel. For them to hear the good news of the gospel, they must first encounter Christians—Christians like you. Pray that you would develop deeper, more significant relationship with them so you can, in turn, speak truth. “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” (Romans 10:14).

Pray for opportunities to minister to them. Many people come to faith after seeing Christ’s loved displayed through the ministry of Christians. Pray for opportunities to minister to unbelievers so that your ministry can have an evangelistic effect. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

Pray for them faithfully and persistently. Our temptation is to grow discouraged in prayer, to pray for a while and, when we see no visible results, to give up. But God calls us to persevere in prayer. “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2). (See also the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18:1-8.)

Pray for a burden to plead for their souls. Paul was willing to tell the church at Rome of his great longing to see the salvation of the lost. Do you share this deep longing? Pray that God would give you a great burden for souls. “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved” (Romans 10:1).

Pray for boldness in generating and taking opportunities to speak the gospel. Even Paul longed for this boldness and for the confidence that he was speaking the right and best words. Pray that God would give you the boldness and, that when you take the opportunities, that he would then guide your words. “[Pray] also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel…” (Ephesians 6:19).

Pray for other believers to encounter them. God almost always uses a succession of people to share the gospel with people before they are saved. Pray, then, that God would lead other Christians into the lives of the unbelievers you love, that they too would provide an example of Christian living and that they too would speak the gospel. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6).

Other Prayers

Here are a few more biblical emphases to guide your prayers.

Pray that God would use any circumstance to do his work in them. We pray to a God who is sovereign and who sovereignly works his good will. Often he saves people through difficult circumstances, through bringing them to the very end of themselves. Pray, then, that God would arrange circumstances, whether easy or difficult, to lead them to salvation. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word” (Psalm 119:67). As you pray for the unbelievers you love, always pray to God: “your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Pray that God would extend his mercy to them. God assures us that he wishes for all people to turn to him in repentance and faith. He receives no joy from seeing people perish. Pray, then, that God would be glorified in the salvation of these people. “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

Pray with confidence. Finally, pray with confidence. God expects we will pray, God invites us to pray, God commands us to pray. Why? Because God loves to hear us pray and God loves to respond to our prayers. So as you pray for unbelievers, pray with confidence that God hears your prayers. “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16).

Posted at: https://www.challies.com/articles/how-to-pray-for-unbelievers/

Don’t Be Introspective. Examine Yourself.

by Kristen Wetherell

There’s a fine line between self-examination and introspection.

Self-examination is good. Scripture exhorts us to examine and test ourselves (2 Cor. 13:5). So how might this important spiritual discipline take a turn for the worse? Martyn Lloyd-Jones explains:

What’s the difference between examining oneself and becoming introspective? I suggest that we cross the line from self-examination to introspection when, in a sense, we do nothing but examine ourselves, and when such self-examination becomes the main and chief end in our life.

Though self-examination can be rewarding for Christian growth, I’ve often crossed the line—and learned how detrimental introspection can be. It’s unprofitable because it’s an end in itself; it leaves us navel-gazing and discouraged. I’ve hung my head many times in its defeat. Nevertheless, we can look to God’s Word and see how self-examination, rightly deployed, is healthy and effective.

A look at Psalm 139 will help us grasp the power of self-examination as a tool in God’s hands for our growth.

Know You’re Known

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! . . . Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. (vv. 1, 6)

Here David exults in the all-knowing, all-seeing Lord of all creation. No corner of God’s human design—our bodies, minds, or hearts—exists outside his intimate knowledge. What a comfort that God knows us perfectly!

God’s searching ministry is accomplished by his Spirit. We don’t examine ourselves by our own wisdom and knowledge but by his revealing work. We can pray: Almighty God, you know every corner of my being, far more than I could ever know. By your Spirit, give me eyes to see what’s going on in my heart and mind. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, but not for you. Search me and know me, God.

Self-examination isn’t ultimately empowered by us, but by the One who made us—and we can trust him to use what he reveals for our good.

Think on Truth

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well . . . . How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. (vv. 14b, 17–18)

Morbid introspection leads us to obsessing about ourselves, but self-examination turns our thoughts toward God: his character, his works, his promises, his thoughts toward us. Rather than just listening to ourselves, as introspection promotes, we talk to ourselves. We remind our souls what is true of God and his wonderful works.

Lloyd-Jones is again helpful here:

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. . . . And then you must go on to remind yourself of God—who God is, and what God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do.

Why is this truth-talk so important? Because we’re so easily deceived by lies. Because our feelings are unreliable. Because our sin threatens to overwhelm us. Because our hearts threaten to deceive us.

Nothing pushes me to cross the line from self-examination to introspection like believing untruths about God and myself. But when I take up God’s Word, meditate on it, and preach it to my heart, I’m freed from the trap of introspection and pointed to the only One who can deliver me.

Look to Jesus

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! . . . Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (vv. 17, 23–24)

As David ponders God’s just judgment on his enemies, he desires to be separate from them and their evil deeds. We too have a real enemy who is seeking someone to devour—and if we aren’t careful, he’ll twist our good intentions, push us into introspection, and lead us to discouragement and defeat. He’ll tell us to trust our hearts, rather than suspect them.

The Enemy’s goal is to get us stuck looking at ourselves—our flaws, our failures, our fears—when we actually need to look away from ourselves to Jesus. This is why we need the Savior! Yes, we should mourn our sin, and feel the depths of our rebellion against a holy God—that is good and right. But Satan wants that to be the end. Thankfully, it’s not the end for those united by faith to the Advocate, the righteous one.

So beware of introspection, because it only leads to despair. But embrace self-examination, because it leads to Christ.

Kristen Wetherell is a wife, mother, and writer. She is the author of Fight Your Fears and co-author of the award-winning book Hope When It Hurts. She writes regularly for digital publications and enjoys teaching the Bible to women at conferences and retreats. Read Kristen’s writing on her website and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/dont-be-introspective-examine-yourself/

The Stains That No One Sees : How Jesus Removes Our Shame

Article by Sam Allberry

In 1966, England charged to glory by winning the football World Cup. It fell on the captain, Bobby Moore, to have the honor of walking up the steps of Wembley Stadium to receive the trophy from the queen.

Asked afterward how he felt during that historic moment, Moore admitted that he was terrified. The queen, he’d noticed, was wearing pristine white gloves. His hands were covered in dirt from the match, and he was going to have to shake her hand. And so, as he walked up those steps, he frantically tried to wipe his hands clean.

Most of us have had some experience of being unclean. But of course, there is more than one kind of being dirty. We can feel desperately unclean on the inside too.

How Shame Feels

Mark’s Gospel introduces us to someone who knew all too well what it meant to feel unclean. In Mark 1:40–45, Jesus encounters a leper, someone whose skin condition left him ceremonially unclean according to Old Testament law. Leprosy was a particularly cruel condition. It was regarded as incurable and highly contagious. Those afflicted with it endured both physical discomfort and social isolation, and for something they did not do or bring on themselves. They were considered a spiritual, as well as a physical, contagion.

“At the cross Jesus took the full extent of my (and your) uncleanness onto himself.”

That might be how you feel: toxic, radioactive — a contagion.

It might be because of something you’ve done. In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Lady Macbeth had been complicit in the murder of King Duncan, and it weighed so heavily on her that we hear of her trying to rub the blood off her hands in her sleep. “Will these hands ne’er be clean!” she cries. Shakespeare, it turns out, had incredible insight into the workings of a guilty subconscious.

Ashamed to Be Assaulted

It is not just our own actions that can leave us feeling unclean, though. Perhaps you’ve been on the receiving end of human evil, and it has left you with a deep sense of being unclean. One victim of sexual assault describes why she never opened up about it for so many years:

I told no one. In my mind, it was not an example of male aggression used against a girl to extract sex from her. In my mind, it was an example of how undesirable I was. It was proof that I was not the kind of girl you took to parties, or the kind of girl you wanted to get to know. I was the kind of girl you took to a deserted parking lot and tried to make give you sex. Telling someone would not be revealing what he had done; it would be revealing how deserving I was of that kind of treatment.

In her mind, this assault did not leave her with a feeling of her assailant’s dirtiness; it made her feel dirty.

‘You Can Make Me Clean’

So, we need to pay close attention to this encounter in Mark.

A leper came to him, imploring him, and kneeling said to him, “If you will, you can make me clean.” (Mark 1:40)

Again, his leprosy, as far as we know, was not a result of any sin he committed, but according to the law, he was not supposed to approach anyone. He knows, however, that Jesus has unique power — power to restore him, to cleanse him. “If you will” may indicate he knows he has no right to such healing. He does not presume that he deserves it.

Jesus is moved deeply by this man’s plight. He’s not indifferent. Jesus doesn’t back away in revulsion. He feels for this man. Jesus touches him. This may be the first time in decades this man had been touched by anyone.

“There is always more that’s right in Jesus than there is what’s wrong in us.”

This is what Jesus does with the uncleanness of those who come to him as this leper did. Rather than withdrawing in disgust, he draws near and reaches out to us. He moves toward us, not away from us. “Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him and said to him, ‘I will; be clean’” (Mark 1:41). Jesus is willing. And the effect is immediate and dramatic. “Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean” (Mark 1:42).

More Grace in Christ

Lepers were to be separated from people because they were seen as a danger, a contaminant. When it comes to Jesus, however, it turns out the leprosy was the one at risk.

Jesus’s cleanness is a far more powerful contagion than any dirt we can bring to him. There is always more that’s right in Jesus than there is what’s wrong in us, more grace in him than offense in us, more forgiveness in him than sin in us. The very worst in us cannot compete with the best in Christ. We can’t sully him. He can only purify us. However deep our mess goes, his holiness goes deeper. We will never exhaust it.

I don’t find this easy to believe. I think I must be the exception — that my toxicity is too much for Jesus to contain. Sometimes this thinking looks like self-deprecation. People mistake it for humility. Actually, it is a form of pride — I am so significant that not even Jesus can contend with me. So, I need to believe what I see in Mark.

All Our Sin and Shame

After his healing, the cleansed man is told in the strongest terms not to tell anyone what has happened (except for a priest, so that he can be certified as ceremonially clean and rejoin society). Jesus is not ready for this to go public. And yet the man does the exact opposite, and the news rapidly spreads widely. The result?

He went out and began to talk freely about it, and to spread the news, so that Jesus could no longer openly enter a town, but was out in desolate places, and people were coming to him from every quarter. (Mark 1:45)

The two have swapped places. Previously the leper had been unable to enter towns and had to live in desolation. Now he is back in the community, and Jesus is forced to the desolate places. The outsider and the insider have reversed roles. In a sense, Jesus has become contaminated by this man. And it is key for us all.

How Christ Removes Shame

How can I know I really have cleansing in Christ from all my sin and shame? Because at the cross he took the full extent of my (and your) uncleanness onto himself. Every sin, every wound, every piece of brokenness and shame.

Jesus went through ultimate exclusion — not just from people, but also from his Father (Mark 15:34). He was made toxic so I can be made fragrant. He was shut out so I could be beckoned in. That doesn’t mean I never feel unclean. There is the ongoing attack of the accuser. Satan’s gonna Satan. But I have a place to look in my war against sin and shame.

Bobby Moore was left to ineffectively wipe his hands on his shorts, but Christ wipes us utterly clean of all that has made us most dirty.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-stains-that-no-one-sees

Knowing What to Do But Not Doing It Is a Problem

by Rick Thomas

God’s mercy comes to us without conditions but does not proceed without our cooperation. So too our aid must begin freely, regardless of the recipient’s merits. But our mercy must increasingly demand change, or it is not really love. – Timothy J. Keller

Discipleship Is a Cooperative Effort

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin (James 4:17).

In the divine wisdom of God, He has put part of the “change responsibility” on you to make the necessary adjustments so you can glorify Him. For transformation to take place, you must be willing to change.

Recently I met with a couple, and we began addressing some deep-seated problems that have been troubling their marriage for many years. After an hour of digging into their marriage with x-ray type questions, we got to some of the core issues.

Their heads were down as they wrestled with the disappointments that had characterized their marriage for so long. After a while, the wife lifted her head and said, “This is nothing new. I have been saying this for years.”

What was interesting about her comment was that I did not tell them one thing in over sixty minutes of examination that they did not already know. But her statement did not surprise me. That comment is the norm in counseling.

It is rare to tell a counselee something about their thinking or behavior that they do not already know. Discipleship is not rocket science. Though “we are fearfully and wonderfully made,” we are not over-complicated (Psalm 139:14).

Mercy Increasingly Demands Change

Once the cat came out of the proverbial bag in my counseling office, it was decision time. Did they want to deal with what they already knew? Though I did not tell this couple anything new, the next step that they should make confronted them. The success of their marriage depended on how they would respond. Were they going to take the personal, practical, and necessary steps to change?

God is a gracious and merciful God. He is long-suffering and kind to His children. His patience and kindness come to us not because we have earned it, but because He is good and He enjoys showing favor on us. But we are not allowed to take that grace for granted.

Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me (Psalm 19:13).

Just because God is gracious to you, it would be foolish to presume on it. You have a responsibility before God to change. My friends came to counseling and heard me tell them what they already knew about themselves. Now they needed to decide if they were going to respond to the things they heard.

Tim Keller got it right. “Mercy must increasingly demand change, or it is not love.” Mercy requires a response. It is not freely given just for us to enjoy temporarily. Mercy is extended as kindness from God so we can progressively change into the image of Christ.

There was nothing else for this couple to do. The husband and wife knew the truth. By their admission, it was redundant to them. Now it was time for them to change.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:30-32).

Call to Action

1. What is one thing that God has identified in your life that you need to cooperate with Him by changing?

2. List at least two other specific things in your life that you need to work on regarding your sanctification.

3. Ask a friend to help you apply God’s empowering grace in your life so you can change.

Posted at: https://rickthomas.net/knowing-what-to-do-but-not-doing-it-is-a-problem/

What Colors Our Prayers?

by Karen Pickering

I was reminded recently of my cousin who attended the local university where I grew up. He lived in an all men’s dorm at the time. There was one fellow who really wanted to be married.  He started praying for a wife and as time passed felt impressed that a certain young woman was the one for him. He approached her and told her what he felt God had told him. Other men heard his story and followed suit. Each prayed a respectable amount of time and then approached the woman they felt certain God had given them. As word got around the campus of what was happening, the women started responding with, “Well, God hasn’t told me and until He does I have no interest in dating, let alone marrying you.”

Praying is always a good idea. We need to pray more, but we shouldn’t use it as a tool to manipulate. Many people pray and people come up with different conclusions. Who is to be believed as having the word from God? I find that my prayers are colored by my desires. I am still human and my heart is deceitful. I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t have this heart issue. I can respect someone, but that doesn’t mean I agree with everything they come up with when they are in prayer. I have seen too many misguided prayers in my day.

I am reluctant to proclaim…”I have prayed about it and this is what God wants!” Often the reality is “I have prayed about it and this is what I want.”

So, how do we pray?

So how do we pray? How do we know when the conclusions we come up with are the right ones?

A good place to start is, to be honest with God. Lay out your desires and your wants, but also lay out your desire to follow His lead. Be ready to take yes or no as the answer. Be uncertain enough in your own ability to know the truth. This will help reduce disappointment when God takes us down another path–maybe one that is unexpected.

I am the most at peace in prayer when I leave the end result up to God. To explore possibilities on my knees is better than pushing my agenda.

I’m reminded of a verse in Psalms.

“He gave them their request, But sent leanness into their soul.” (Psalm 106:15)

God’s ways are not my ways. I long to be so close to Him that there is no doubt about each step I take, but until I step into glory that will not be the case. So, in the meantime, I pray. I pray for wisdom. I pray for grace as other brothers and sisters come up with different conclusions. I pray that God is at work in each of us to make us more like Him. And, in the end, that might be more of the point than all the grand plans we are determined to set in motion.

Posted at: https://bc4women.org/2019/05/praying-with-conviction/

When the Miracle You Prayed For Doesn’t Come

by Lianna Davis

If you have prayed for a miracle of healing or good provision from God’s hand that did not come, not only are you anguished about your circumstance but—compounding that pain—perhaps you are now also grieving that your God did not answer your prayer.

Expressing sorrow over both realities before the Lord for what He has not sovereignly deemed fit to give you can form the substance humble laments while suffering.

While you lament, remember that God can undoubtedly accommodate our complexities. You may be confounded and sorrowing in one area of your heart. But the heart can experience more than one emotion—especially when more than one truth is at play.

Multiple Truths at Play, Multiple Emotions

Your suffering is real. So, let the grieving areas of your heart grieve, the sorrowing sorrow. And while they are, while you grieve that your miracle has not come, look for another resonating truth. I would even guess that an area of biblical truth will so strike you that you will experience joy and hope in the knowledge of God in the middle of your suffering that you otherwise would not be able to comprehend in the same way.

Allow me to illustrate.

The intricacies of the Godhead I do not fathom. But since the stillbirth of my daughter, I marvel differently now that God gave His Son to death and planned this death before the foundation of the world. Also, the miracle of the new birth, I cannot fully grasp. But I am more amazed at God birthing us to eternal life when I was incapable of birthing a daughter alive on earth.

Though what you dearly sought has not come, what biblical truth resonates with you?

Not According to How We Pray

By the power of the Spirit, we can never overestimate what biblical truth can do within us. The apostle Paul wrote in doxological form:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)

Perhaps these kinds of words are difficult to read right now—God doing abundantly for us. Yes, God is able to perform miracles. He was able to make my daughter’s heart beat again in my womb. He did not. Clearly, I am writing and you are reading because He does not necessarily answer prayers according to how we pray. And He is no less able.

He knows why He does not do; you and I might not understand now, in this present life, His wisdom. But could it be that He is doing beyond what we ask? Could it be that what He is working on our behalf is more than what we think? We do not grasp future glory; we cannot fathom what earthly sufferings are achieving for us (2 Corinthians 4:17). We don’t comprehend, but we can trust.

Two Realities to Hold

And there is a main component of Ephesians 3:20 we can understand more immediately, a near reality. God is accomplishing more than we know to ask or think according to “the power at work within us.” Power is also referenced only a few verses earlier—in Ephesians 3:16 where Paul prays about the power of the Holy Spirit in our inner beings.

Throughout Ephesians 3:14-20, God is being asked to help believers comprehend more of Him, that our hearts might be strengthened…

• …with power through God’s Spirit in our inner beings.

• …in order for Christ to dwell in them through faith.

• …with rootedness in His love.

• …with all the saints in the breadth and length and height and depth of Christ’s love.

• …to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.

• …to be filled to our maximum of the limitless fullness of God.

• …to trust God’s power at work within us.

• …and, to rejoice in all glory being His for all He is and has done throughout all generations.

Our hearts are strengthened as we become personally convinced that truth is true by the power of the Holy Spirit. Who on this earth can tell what that power at work in us and through us will achieve?

We lament; at the very same time: more than we ask, more than we think.

Hold both when the miracle you prayed for doesn’t come.  

Posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2019/09/when-miracle-prayed-doesnt-come/

5 Surprising Truths about Biblical Kindness

by Davis Wetherell

I’m not sure I’ve ever met a person who does not want kindness. In today’s society, people generally agree that more kindness would make the world a better place. But what exactly is it? Where does it come from? What does it do?

Definitions of this word often associate the word with being friendly, generous, and considerate. While this may be helpful, these three terms can fail to depict the full nature of what kindness looks like. Here are five things the Bible reveals about kindness rooted in Christ, which gives the term some needed substance:

1.) Kindness is Powerful

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared… (Titus 3:3-4)

Consider what Paul is claiming here.

He is saying that we were fools. We did not obey. We followed leaders who took us astray. Not only this but we spent all our time wishing we had what others had and being angry at them for having it. Other people hated us, and we returned the favor. If I met a person like this today, I would likely say, “They are too far gone! Nothing can bring them back to goodness.”

Then everything shifts as Paul writes, “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared.” Just like that, the previous evils are overshadowed by the great mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.   

Kindness, like meekness, gets confused for passivity and ineffectiveness. But the Bible says otherwise—it is the tool of God’s omnipotence. Kindness is so powerful, it is even stronger than death!

2.) Kindness Is Stronger than Death

Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead! (Ruth 2:20)

In discussing a man whom Ruth just met (Boaz), Naomi hopes for best. She says, “may he be blessed by the Lord,” and then she describes the Lord with these amazing words: “whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!”

This woman has seen many trials in her life. First, a famine in her home land caused Naomi and her whole family to flee. Then, her husband died. And then, her two sons pass away. All she had left was her two daughters-in-law, which would soon become one daughter-in-law after the other went back home.

This woman was familiar with death. We may think that she would distrust God or think that He did not care for her or her family. But, in reality, Naomi believes in God’s goodness and knows Him to have a lasting kindness extending both to herself and to her deceased family members.

Death was not enough to make Naomi doubt God’s kindness. Nor was it enough, she knew, to separate her husband and sons from it.

Her words sound a lot like what Paul writes in his letter to the Romans: “For I am sure that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

God’s kindness is stronger than death! This was true in Naomi’s day, in Paul’s day, and also in ours. If we are in Christ, we shall always see the power of God’s lovingkindness.

3.) Kindness Prepares for Repentance

Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)

So, kindness has significant power, and it’s power is not meant to simply make us feel better about ourselves. The power of kindness is seen in how it leads people to repentance.

Remember this next time someone makes you angry. You want them to know how they hurt you, and you want them to never do it again. When I am in this position, I usually use a different tool than kindness. I may use spite, gossip, or coldness, thinking to myself that kindness will only encourage their behavior.

This fruit of the Spirit entails forbearance, yet Scripture also tells us that God uses kindness to lead us into repentance. Why should I use a tool other than the one God chooses to use?

4.) Kindness Can Hurt

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
   let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head. (Psalm 141:5)

When I think of actions associated with kindness, I think of “hug,” “listen,” or “smile.” I certainly do not think of “strike!” Yet, Psalm 141 brings together the two words.

When someone speaks a hard truth into your life, it can hurt. Sometimes it feels like they have betrayed you, like they don’t understand you anymore, or like they are looking down on you. In the moment, you can’t see why they would say what they did—and it just feels like an aimless, unprompted attack.

And yet, what at first seems like an aimless attack may actually be a compassionate gesture, pushing you back toward fixing your eyes on Christ. Once your eyes are on Him, you can look back and say: “I was in a bad place, and thanks to the kind strike from my friend, I’ve returned to the peace that comes from Jesus.”

5.) Kindness Brings Honor

Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness
    will find life, righteousness, and honor. (Proverbs 21:21)

Once again, kindness sometimes carries a connotation of insignificance and failure. Kindness might seem like a nice ideal to some, but if they really want to “make a difference” or “be someone important,” then they can’t be kind all the time.

First of all, this is not true. As we have already demonstrated, kindness is powerful, and it can change the person you never thought would change.

Secondly, it is slightly true. This world promises certain honors, many of which could be missed by a person who was kind all the time. Yet, as Christians, we are called to strive for a greater honor. We are called to imitate the sufferings of Jesus, which result in an imperishable honor.

There is great honor waiting for those who pursue kindness—for they are zealous for good works for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Don’t miss out on this honor by walking in the way of the world.

Posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2019/09/5-surprising-truths-biblical-kindness/

What to Do When a Memory of Sin Paralyzes You

by Jason Meyer

I’ve been married for 19 years, and I have many happy memories with my wife. Cara is my best friend by far. We especially enjoy looking back and reliving some of our favorite dates together.

One treasured memory is the time I found out she once dreamed about being in the Air Force. By that point in our relationship, I had learned to plan dates we would both enjoy rather than dates only I would enjoy—no extra charge for that little piece of advice. One of my close friends was a pilot, and I asked him if he could take us flying. He delivered in a big way. He flew us to a nearby regional airport, I took her to a Mexican restaurant, and he flew us back. I have a picture of Cara and me standing next to the plane, and we both have beaming smiles. I love to look at that picture and relive the date.

Memories can be a precious gift that allow us to enjoy the same event multiple times. But our memories can also be a curse.

Curse of Memory

One of the most painful moments of my life came during premarital counseling. I tearfully told Cara (my fiancée at that time) about some of my past pornography usage. By God’s grace, porn was no longer a problem in my life, but it was an issue in my past. I wanted her to know the truth about my old struggle, and I earnestly desired her forgiveness for that sin. I will never forget seeing the pain etched on her face. She freely forgave me, but it was a heart-wrenching for both of us.

For several days, I struggled to apply the gospel to my situation. I wanted to beat myself up. I remembered the pain on Cara’s face, and I replayed it in my mind over and over. I raked myself over the coals again and again for the bad choices I’d made years before.

Don’t sit in your sin. Take it on a journey all the way back to the cross and see it nailed there.

Our memories can serve as a kind of time machine. The time machine of memory can be a good thing when we go back and replay the good times. It can help us enjoy a pleasant experience in exponential ways. But the time machine of memory becomes twisted when we use it to relive our past failures and punish ourselves multiple times for the same mistake. When we put our sins on repeat mode, we wince and groan over and over again because it triggers sharp pangs of guilt and shame. Our guilt brings past sins into the present and says, “Look, you made a mistake.” Then shame joins the conversation and adds, “Yes, and you are the mistake.”

Why do we torture ourselves by going back to places of failure in our memory banks? Why do we continue to push the play button and experience it all over again? We wish we could go back and erase our failures, but that’s not an option. We can’t seem to get over it, so we go over it in our minds again and again.

Embrace the Full Truth

Here’s the problem with the twisted time machine of memory. We travel back in time under the pretense of a half-truth. Yes, we sinned. No, sin should not be taken lightly. There is appropriate guilt and shame that flow from sin, but as Christians, we know that “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” (1 Tim. 1:15). We can’t allow our past shames to cloud the fact that Christ has come.

Discouragement gets stuck in the half-truth that says, “Go back and see for yourself that you failed,” but we can take heart when we realize the full truth that our problem is not that we look back, but that we don’t look all the way back.

Yes, “the wages of sin is death” (Rom. 6:23)—but our debts have been paid. Don’t sit in your sin. Take it on a journey all the way back to the cross and see it nailed there. Then, and only then, will you be ready to move forward in the forgiving love of Christ.

Editors’ note:

This is an adapted excerpt from Don’t Lose Heart: Gospel Hope for the Discouraged Soul, published in partnership with Baker Books.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/memory-paralyzes-you/

God's Sovereign Plans Behind My Most Unproductive Days

John PIper, Ask Pastor John Podcast

Audio Transcript

How is God at work in our most unproductive days, when it feels as though we’ve accomplished nothing and fallen far short of our own plans and expectations? Those days are frustrating to us, but they are not outside of God’s sovereign power. It leads to today’s question on what efficiency looks like in the first place, a very good question from a listener named Melinda.

“Hello, Pastor John, thank you for this podcast! Back in episode 1115, about caring for those with dementia, you closed your remarks with this phrase: ‘God’s priorities for efficiency in this life are not ours.’ Can you please elaborate on this? I struggle mightily with time management skills. I’m a homeschooling mom trying to balance kids’ needs and activities, ministry, household duties . . . and sleep. I feel overwhelmed with the need to be efficient every minute even though this does not come naturally to me. What should efficiency look like in the busy Christian life?”

I will explain what I mean by “God’s priorities for efficiency in this life are not ours.” But let me say first, right off the bat, that the reason I want anybody to know that is not so that they can get more done, but so that they do what they do in the right spirit. That’s the preface over everything I have to say.

Your Priorities

Now what do I mean by saying, “God’s priorities for efficiency in this life are not ours”? I mean that your priority may be that between 10:00 and 11:00 this morning you plan to run to the bank and get some cash so that you can be back in time to pay the teenager who is cutting your grass while a neighbor watches your two- and four-year-old for you. That’s the plan.

“Frustrating human efficiency is one of God’s primary means of sanctifying grace.”

You feel good — I’m making this up — that you very efficiently worked. You feel good that you worked it out. You worked it out so that the neighbor was available, the teenager could come, and you could get to the bank and get back before both of them had other engagements.

Those are your priorities, and you have an efficient plan: grass cut, kids watched, bank trip made, boy paid, everyone off to their next engagement. Victory. Efficiency. That’s what I mean by “our efficiency.”

God’s Priorities

However, God in this case has a totally different set of priorities.

Your neighbor was scheduled to be at a real estate office at 11:30 so she could join her husband to close on a new house — a house that, unbeknownst to them, has a flawed foundation. The teenager was planning to take his money from cutting the grass and pool it with some of the guys and buy some drugs that they shouldn’t be using. You hit a traffic jam caused by the rollover of a semi (which has another story behind it). You’re locked up on the freeway for an hour. You never even get to the bank.

You rush home as fast as you can, but you get there an hour late. You have no money to pay the boy, and your neighbor has missed her appointment. You are frustrated almost to tears.

Your efficiency proved utterly useless to accomplish your priorities. You failed, but God’s priorities totally succeeded. He wanted to hinder that boy from buying drugs, he wanted to spare the neighbor from purchasing a house that’s a lemon, and he wanted to grow your faith in his sovereign wisdom and sovereignty.

Now, that’s what I mean by “God’s priorities for efficiency in this life are not ours.”

Joseph’s Slow Journey

In my view, this isn’t happening just now and then; it’s happening all the time. When you read the Bible, you see in virtually every book the story of God doing things that are not the way humans would do them or want them done. God almost never takes the shortest route between point A and point B.

The reason is that such efficiency — the efficiency of speed and directness — is not what he’s about. His purpose is to sanctify the traveler, not speed him between A and B. Frustrating human efficiency is one of God’s primary (I say primary, not secondary) means of sanctifying grace.

The story of Joseph in Genesis 37–50 is one of the clearest examples, right? Joseph is hated by his brothers, thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, sold to Potiphar, accused of sexual harassment, thrown into prison, forgotten by Pharaoh’s butler, then finally — seventeen years in? — made vice president of Egypt so that he could save his family from starvation.

“You’re not being measured by God by how much you get done.”

The moral of the story comes in Genesis 50:20. Joseph says to his brothers, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” God had an agenda. God had a plan. God meant it for good.

It’s as if he said, “You guys, you rascals, were the ‘traffic jam’ that kept me from getting to the bank for seventeen years. But God was positioning me to be the savior of my people, and he was in no hurry. I was being tested at every single point. Would I trust him with his seemingly meaningless inefficiency? It wasn’t meaningless.”

Paul’s Change of Plans

When Paul was trying to get to Spain, he did so with a good plan. He had a plan — he had a really good plan. He basically said, “I’m going to go to Jerusalem and deliver the money. Then I’m going to get on a boat, go to Rome, gather some support, and end my life in Spain.” What a great plan. But then he found himself in prison in Rome. What did he say?

He says it in Philippians 1:12–13: “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ.”

His priorities for efficiently getting to Spain were shattered, but God’s purposes to evangelize the imperial guard in Rome stayed right on track.

A Daily Plan

Here’s the implication for Melinda.

By all means, make your list of to-dos for the day. By all means, get as good at that as you can get. Prioritize the list. Get first things first. Make your plan. Do the very best you can. Go ahead and read a book about it.

Then walk in the peace and freedom that, when it shatters on the rocks of reality (which it will most days), you’re not being measured by God by how much you get done. You’re being measured by whether you trust the goodness and the wisdom and the sovereignty of God to work this new mess of inefficiency for his glory and the good of everyone involved, even when you can’t see how.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/gods-sovereign-plans-behind-your-most-unproductive-days?utm_campaign=Daily%20Email&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=76764789&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8lfkfGyNjFmshdZ6G93DLgyFqrAGPidfpzrIH4XwyYX-JyfhnsHLzxcHyEaPimojyJygVP6R214eg6bA_M-1J3hODQwA&_hsmi=76764789