Reclaiming Friendship in the Social Media Age

By Brad Merchant

Augustine once wrote that there are two things essential to existence in this world: life and friendship. Yet, as Drew Hunter insightfully points out in his book on friendship, “Friendship is, for many of us, one of the most important but least thought about aspects of life.” Most people feel the tension of knowing friendship is valuable while living as though it isn’t.

Social media hasn’t helped.

Sure, it’s nice to keep up with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, new and old, from all over the world. It’s nice to learn from a wide variety of voices and countless resources that fill our feeds. But social media is also distorting our view of friendship.

Friendship and Pseudo-Friendship

As we scroll through our feeds, full of pictures and updates from hundreds of people we haven’t talked to in years, we rightly ask, “Are these people really my friends?”

The paradox of social media is that we know many people while not feeling known by anyone.

Stephen Marche captures this well: “It’s a lonely business, wandering the labyrinths of our friends’ and pseudo-friends’ projected identities, trying to figure out what part of ourselves we ought to project, who will listen, and what they will hear.”

A 2018 Cigna study found that people aged 18 to 22 experienced loneliness significantly more than people 72 and older. That is not a coincidence. In a recent University of Pennsylvania study, psychologist Melissa G. Hunt concluded that there is an inevitable link between loneliness and social media use by 18- to 22-year-olds.

“It is a little ironic that reducing your use of social media actually makes you feel less lonely,” she says. “Using less social media than you normally would leads to significant decreases in both depression and loneliness.”

Social media promises social connectedness, but it often delivers social isolation.

Social media promises social connectedness, but it often delivers social isolation.

Four Ways to Reclaim Friendship

Social media’s distortion of genuine friendship and community presents Christians with a great opportunity to reclaim and reemphasize the priority of friendship. Here are four ways we can redeem the distortion of friendship in a social media age.

1. Prioritize Face-to-Face Friendships

About a year ago I made the decision to prioritize a smaller number of friends I lived in close proximity with instead of spending so much time keeping up with many distant acquaintances online. I scheduled biweekly meetings with these friends. Whenever I wanted to know how one was doing, I called them instead of checking their social feeds. Over time, I found that trading tweets and Facebook updates for real-time conversations strengthened my friendships and filled me with joy.

2. Value Deep Friendships

For the first time in our lives, we can objectively assess popularity. Social media has given us the ability to know exactly how many pseudo-friends we have. This silent contest often reorients our value systems. Many of us would rather have 5,000 followers than five deep friendships—all because we’ve wrongly attached our self-worth to a follower count.

Many of us would rather have 5,000 followers than five deep friendships.

But Christians should tip the scales in the opposite direction, valuing the few deep over the many shallow. We should seek friends who know our greatest joys and deepest sorrows, not just the superficial tidbits of our lives we post on Instagram.

3. Create New Social Media Habits

The FOMO effect is real. Fearful of missing out on social events and updates, we feel enslaved to social media. This constant fear, and the dopamine rush we get with every new notification, causes us to constantly check our feeds for the latest news or viral whatever we might be missing—all the while interrupting time with family, friends, and God. When endless streams of information are available at any moment, they tend to invade every moment. How do we get free? In his excellent book The Tech-Wise Family, Andy Crouch suggests we take planned sabbaticals from our screens: one hour a day, one day a week, one week a year. Choosing to say “no” to social media frees us to recenter on God and enjoy the people he puts in front of us—even if we miss out on a few things online.

When endless streams of information are available at any moment, they tend to invade every moment.

4. Rest in Jesus, Our Ever-Faithful Friend

Jesus stands in the face of social media’s claim for authentic friendship, declaring: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). The ultimate Friend does not come to us through a screen, but in a body. He wraps himself in flesh and adorns himself with our weakness so that he can say, “No longer do I call you servants . . . I have called you friends.” (John 15:15). Jesus reminds us we are embodied people, meant to live joyful, sacrificial lives for the good of others and the glory of God.

Our worth is not found in the number of followers we have, but in the fact that Jesus calls us his friend. When we rest in this glorious truth, we are freed from enslavement to social media’s definition of friendship and worth.

Brad Merchant is the Pastor of Leadership Development at College Park Church in Indianapolis, Indiana. He is the author of Mentoring Like Jesus and blogs regularly. You can follow him on Twitter.

Posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/reclaiming-friendship-social-media-age/

How To Forge a Faithful Friendship

By David McLemore

What kind of friend are you?

Are you the kind of friend who sticks closer than a brother, or the kind that always texts last minute that you can’t make it?

Are you the kind of friend that breathes life into others, or a vampire friend that sucks the life out of the people around you?

Before you can answer what kind of a friend you are, it helps to know what makes for a good friend. Proverbs has more to say on friendship than perhaps any other book in the Bible. In his commentary on Proverbs, Derek Kidner highlights four qualities of a good friend: constancy, candor, counsel, and carefulness.

Friendships don’t just spring from nothing. Friendships require effort. They require forging. Without those four qualities, you won’t be capable of forging the kind of friendships you’re looking for—and the kinds of friendships the Bible calls for.

CONSTANCY

A friend is always with you. A friend is committed. He sticks closer than a brother.

Maybe you think you don’t have any close friends—no one who really sticks close to you. Well, maybe you don’t. But it’s very easy to pass the blame onto others without admitting maybe there’s something wrong with you. Good friendship begins with you.

“Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?” says Proverbs 20:6. Is there a difference between the kind of friend you say you are and the kind of friend you truly are?

Superficial friends don’t stick around when times are bad: “Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend” (Prov. 19:4; see also Prov. 19:7). Real friends are constant. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Do you long for friends like this? The best way to find a faithful friend is to be a faithful friend. Are you available for friendship? Do others even know you’re available? And when you find a friend, are you there for them?

British pastor Vaughan Roberts writes in True Friendship,

Perhaps we are confident that if a friend was truly in need, we would be there for them. But would anyone think of turning to us in such circumstances? Have we kept our friendships in good shape in better times so that they are prepared for the moment when a crisis occurs?

Maybe the reason you don’t have the friends you need is that you haven’t yet learned to be the friend you need. Be a constant friend, a friend others can count on. And if you really want others to count on you, you have to be honest.

CANDOR

We are sinners in need of help. We have blind spots. Friends are God’s gift to help us repent and change and move forward.

Proverbs 29:5 cautions, “A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” Friends don’t butter one another up. They shoot straight because they don’t want to see their friend ensnared later. They want their friend free from sin, free from pain.

Why? Because in a way, your happiness is tied to theirs. If your friend hurts, you hurt. That’s one way know you have a real friendship—how much you feel what happens to them. You know you have a friend when you can say to them—and they can say to you—what no one else could get away with. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy,” (Prov. 27:5-6). Friends wound with love. They don’t kiss with flattery.

Oscar Wilde said, “A true friend stabs you in the front.” That’s a harsh way of putting it, but there’s some truth to it. Friends see what we can’t see about ourselves, and their blunt honesty can save us. Do you have a friend in your life who can sharpen you, who can tell you the cold, hard truth when necessary? Are you that kind of friend?

COUNSEL

Candidness opens the door for counsel. Real friends deal honestly. They give meaningful input. They sharpen. They make us wise.

Proverbs 27:9, “The sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Earnest counsel isn’t just “do this, don’t do that.” It’s not detached. As commentator Charles Bridges says, earnest counsel is “the counsel of his soul.”

A friend puts themselves in our shoes and counsels as he would wish to be counseled. A friend isn’t just a prophet speaking the truth in the face of sin but also a priest bringing you to Jesus for help. If you have a friend who is candid with counsel, you will grow in wisdom.

Real friends are candid and give counsel, but their love keeps it from being reckless.

CAREFULNESS

Real friends are careful with one another. They don’t want to push you away; they want to bring you nearer to themselves and to Jesus. This is why friendship requires so much wisdom. God wants us to be careful with what we say and how we say it. As Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Proverbs teaches us to avoid three friendship killers: gossip, aloofness, and grudges. First, we must not be gossips, and we must not make friends with gossips. Gossip is to friendship what adultery is to marriage. It destroys trust and fractures the relationship. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer [gossip] separates close friends.” Gossip is poison. Avoid it at all costs.

Second, we must not be aloof to our friends. A friend isn’t detached or unsympathetic. Proverbs 25:20 says, “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.” Singing happy songs to a heavy heart isn’t just wrong, it’s mean. Real friends know when to weep and when to rejoice. Real friends can read the mood and apply the right balm. They know how to be with present in the circumstance.

Third, we mustn’t hold grudges. True friends are forgiving. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” Every friend will disappoint us, and we will disappoint every friend. But wisdom says, “Okay, you’ve been disappointed. Now what? Now, cover that offense. Seek love. Don’t bring it up again.”

Jesus doesn’t hold a grudge against you. He’s forgiven you completely. He’s paid for all your sins. He won’t bring them up again. Why would he? When he said, “It is finished,” he meant it.

THE MODEL FRIEND

Tim Keller summarizes a friend as one who always lets you in and never lets you down. That’s what Jesus does. He lets us in and never lets us down.

We’re miserable failures as friends to God, and in response to our failure, God gave us the cross—not to unfriend us, but to befriend us forever.

On the cross, Jesus proved he’s the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He didn’t stop loving us in our failures. He loved us to death. He loves at all times. He’s a brother born for adversity. He’s a true friend who totally accepts you, totally forgives you, totally knows you, and doesn’t walk away from you. He laid his life down for you at the cross. He’s faithful even when you aren’t. He’s loyal even though you’re disloyal. He took your offense and buried it in the tomb. And on that resurrection day, he walked out with all the power of love we will ever need.

Jesus has made you his friend, and no matter how often we show up in his house, no matter how many times we offend him, no matter how often we fail him, he will never cast us out. He will always forgive us. He will never fail us.

GLORIOUS FRIEND

John Newton’s great hymn “One There is, Above All Others,” captures the wonder of this love:

Could we bear from one another what He daily bears from us?
Yet this glorious Friend and Brother loves us, though we treat Him thus.
Though for good we render ill, He accounts us brethren still.

No, we can’t be one another’s savior. Jesus is all the Savior we’ll ever need.

But we can, and should, be friends to one another. And the model of friendship is the friend of sinners, Jesus himself, who is constant, candid, careful, and full of counsel.

David McLemore is an elder at Refuge Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He also works for a large healthcare corporation where he manages an application development department. He is married to Sarah, and they have three sons. Read more of David’s writing on his blog, Things of the Sort.

Posted at: https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/2019/2/14/how-to-forge-a-faithful-friendship

Your Lord's Day Might Be Someone Else's Way of Escape

Article by Rosaria Butterfield

Radically ordinary hospitality begins when we remember that God uses us as living epistles—and that the openness or inaccessibility of our homes and hearts stands between life and death, victory and defeat, and grace or shame for most people.

Consider with me the tension of 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” This passage speaks to the intensity, the loneliness, and the danger of temptation. It also speaks to the lived tension of applying faith to our trials and then waiting for that way of escape to present itself.

Have you ever thought that you, your house, and your time are not your own but rather God’s ordained way of escape for someone?

REMEMBERING THE LORD’S DAY

I think about this every Lord’s Day morning as I’m preparing food for two meals: one weekly fellowship meal at church and one meal at home with neighbors and friends and folks from church. I pray as I prepare food, remembering how the Lord’s Day was a special day of temptation for me when I was a new believer. You see, beyond its wholesome surface, it is a day of warfare in toto. Perhaps you’ve not noticed this, but the Lord’s Day is a terrible day of temptation and sin for many people. Without the moorings of worship, a vital church community, and meaningful fellowship, it’s nearly impossible to actually honor the fourth commandment— the commandment that reminds us to “remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy” (Ex. 20:8)

How do we “remember” this, what we now call the “Lord’s Day”? The best way to remember anything is to do it collectively. God is calling me to remember the Lord’s Day not just for myself, for my own personal holiness, but also to live in such a way that I enable others to do so as well. I am called to create a place at the table for others, to be available to the hurting and the lost.

We keep the Lord’s Day in this communal way by sharing the ordinary means of grace that God has given to us. The Lord’s Day is not a “family day” or a “just us day.” If you preserve this day in that way, you steal glory from God and unwittingly cause others to stumble. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13? You just might be the way of escape.

LIVING IN COMMUNITY

Living in community is not just pleasant; it’s life-saving. In Life Together Bonhoeffer comments:

Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more extractive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation.[1]

Sin demands isolation. While community does not inoculate us against sin, godly community is a sweet balm of safety. It gives us a place and a season where we are safe with ourselves and safe with others.

My favorite day of the week is the Lord’s Day, and I want to share that day with others. Kent and I open our home after worship to anyone who will come. We must. We remember what it is like to be a new Christian, to be single, to have secrets that get you alone and torment you, and to have no place to go after worship, the odd tearing apart of the body of Christ as each retreats to her own corner or clique while the benediction still rings in the air. It is an act of violence and cruelty to people in your church who routinely have no place to belong, no place to need and be needed, after worship. Worship leaves us full and raw, and we need one another.

THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS NOT A PERFORMANCE

We live in a world that highly values functionality. But there’s such a thing as being too functional. When we are too functional, we forget that the Christian life is a calling, not a performance. Hospitality is necessary whether you have cat hair on the couch or not. People will die of chronic loneliness sooner than they will cat hair in the soup.

Know that someone is spared another spiral binge of pornography because he is instead playing Connect Four with you or walking the dogs or jumping on the trampoline. Know that these small things that you may take for granted have been the Lord’s appointed way of escape for a brother or sister. Know that someone is spared the fear and darkness of depression because she is needed at your house, always on the Lord’s Day, the day she is never alone but instead safely in community where her place at the table is needed and necessary and relied upon.

Know that someone is drawn into Christ’s love because the Bible reading and singing that come at the close of the meal include everyone, and it reminds us that no one is scapegoated in this Christ-bearing community.

* * * * *

Editor’s note: This article has been taken from The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World by Rosaria Butterfield, ©2018. Used by permission of Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Il 60187, www.crossway.org.

[1] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: A Discussion of Christian Fellowship, trans. John W. Doberstein (New York: Harper & Row, 1954), 112.

By Rosaria Butterfield

How to Find Strength in the Strength of God

Article by John Piper Founder & Teacher, desiringGod.org

How do you do a task in the strength of another? How do you exert your will to do something in such a way that you are relying on the will of another to make it happen?

Here are some passages from the Bible that press this question on us:

• “By the Spirit . . . put to death the deeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). So, we are to do the sin-killing, but we are to do it by the Spirit. How?

• “Work out your own salvation . . . for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12–13). We are to work. But the willing and the working is God’s willing and God’sworking. How do we experience that?

• “I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). Paul did work hard. But his effort was in some way not his. How did he do that?

• “I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me” (Colossians 1:29). We toil. We struggle. We expend effort and energy. But there is a way to do it so that it is God’s energy and God’s doing. How do we do that?

• “Whoever serves, [let him serve] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies” (1 Peter 4:11). We serve. We exert strength. But there is a way that our serving is the effect of God’s gracious power. What is that way?

Introducing A.P.T.A.T.

In 1983 I gave my answer in a sermon, and to this day I have not been able to improve on these five steps summed up in the acronym A.P.T.A.T. (rhymes with Cap That).

In 1984 J.I. Packer published Keep in Step with the Spirit, and gave the very same steps on pages 125–126. He calls it “Augustinian holiness teaching.” It calls for “intense activity” but this activity “is not in the least self-reliant in spirit.” Instead, he says, “It follows this four-stage sequence”:

First, as one who wants to do all the good you can, you observe what tasks, opportunities, and responsibilities face you. Second, you pray for help in these, acknowledging that without Christ you can do nothing—nothing fruitful, that is (John 15:5). Third, you go to work with a good will and a high heart, expecting to be helped as you asked to be. Fourth, you thank God for help given, ask pardon for your own failures en route, and request more help for the next task. Augustinian holiness is hard working holiness, based on endless repetitions of this sequence.

My five steps omit his first one (“note what tasks are in front of you”). I divide his second step into two: A. Admit (his word, “acknowledge”) that you can do nothing. P. Pray for God’s help for the task at hand. Then, I break his third step into two. He says “expect to get the help you asked for.” Then, with that expectation, “go to work with a good will.” I say, T. Trust a particular promise of God’s help. Then, in that faith, A. Act. Finally, we both say, T. Thank God for the help received.

A. Admit
P. Pray
T. Trust
A. Act
T. Thank

Trust God’s Promises

I think the middle T is all important. Trust a promise. This is the step I think is missing in most Christians’ attempt to live the Christian life. It is certainly my most common mistake.

“We don’t just pray for help hour by hour; we trust specific promises hour by hour.”

Most of us face a difficult task and remember to say, “Help me, God. I need you.” But then, we move straight from P to A — Pray to Act. We pray and then we act. But this robs us of a very powerful step.

After we pray for God’s help, we should remind ourselves of a specific promise that God has made. And fix our minds on it. And put our faith in it. And say to God, “I believe you; help my unbelief. Increase my faith in this promise. I’m trusting you, Lord. Here I go.” Then act.

Paul says we “walk by faith” (2 Corinthians 5:7) and “live by faith” (Galatians 2:20). But for most of us, this remains vague. Hour by hour how do we do this? We do it by reminding ourselves of specific, concrete promises that God has made and Jesus has bought with his blood (2 Corinthians 1:20). Then, we don’t just pray for help hour by hour; we trust those specific promises hour by hour.

When Peter says, “Whoever serves, [let him serve] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies” (1 Peter 4:11), we do this not only by praying for that supply, but by trusting in the promise of the supply in specific situations. Paul says that God supplies the Spirit to you “by hearing with faith” (Galatians 3:5). That is, we hear a promise and we believe it for a particular need, and the Holy Spirit comes to help us through that believed promise.

10 Promises to Memorize

So, here is my suggestion for how to do this. Memorize a few promises that are so universally applicable, they will serve you in almost every situation where you face a task to be done “by the strength that God supplies.” Then, as those tasks come, admit you can’t do that on your own. Pray for the help you need. Then, call to mind one of your memorized promises, and trust it — put your faith in it. Then, act — believing that God is acting in your acting! Finally, when you are done, thank him.

“Act — believing that God is acting in your acting!”

Here are ten such promises to help you get started. Of these, the one I have used most often is Isaiah 41:10.

1. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

2. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

3. “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

4. “‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’” (Hebrews 13:5–6)

5. “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalms 84:11)

6. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)

7. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” (Psalms 23:6)

8. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

9. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

10. “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” (Psalms 50:15)

Never cease to ponder Paul’s words, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). Not I. Yet I. By faith.

John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, and most recently Expository Exultation: Christian Preaching as Worship.

Be Stubborn – in the Best Way

What we learn from Moses' walk with the Lord

by Kevin Carson

If you search “formulas for success in life” on Google, you get about 41,100,000 results. That’s crazy. Are there that many different formulas for success? Is it just up to the individual to survey the options and choose what may work the best? Talk about pressure to get it right! How am I supposed to know which one to pick?

For the follower of Christ, the best way to determine how to be successful is to start in the Bible. You may want to consider prescriptively how to be successful and descriptively look at those who were successful. Who are the individuals that God blessed and why?

One of those Bible characters God richly blessed was Moses. The Bible describes his relationship with God at Moses’ death this way: “But since then there has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face” (Deut 34:10). I’m not sure your definition of a successful person, but it must include Moses. Then what can we observe about Moses that helps us for daily living today?

Let me suggest three key observations related to Moses that will help us be the best version of the kind of person God intends for us to be.

Moses insisted on the Lord’s Presence.

Before the children of Israel left Mount Sinai for the Promised Land, God told Moses that He would send an angel to go with them on the journey. God said, “And I will send My Angel before you, and I will drive out the Canaanite and the Amorite and the Hittite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite. Go up to a land flowing with mild and honey; for I will not go up in your midst…” (Ex 33:2-3).

Bottom line – Moses is promised success. God promised to send an angel to go before them and give them the Promised Land. They win. They get the land. The other people are defeated. God promises victory. Most of us would be satisfied with this.

However, check out Moses’ response to God. “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here. For how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in Your sight, except You go with us? So we shall be separate, Your people and I, from all the people who are upon the face of the earth” (Ex 33:15-16).

Moses basically explains to God that he is not willing to go anywhere – even with the promise of victory – without God going with them. Moses insisted on the Lord’s presence. In the best way, Moses was stubborn. He knew any victory would be shallow if in the process of gaining the victory that they missed out on the presence of God.

Now get that. Victory – having all your goals met – fails to satisfy if, in the process, you miss out on the presence of God. As they say, victory is shallow. What good is there in gaining everything if you miss God’s presence in the process? Ultimately, that is not success at all.

Victory - having all your goals met - fails to satisfy if, in the process, you miss out on the presence of God.

Moses enjoyed God’s presence.

God and Moses were friends. Moses talked daily with God. The Bible says, “So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend” (Ex 33:11). Imagine that…God spoke to Moses as a friend. God and Moses enjoyed each other’s presence. Think how sweet it is to be with your best friend – to talk, laugh, enjoy each other’s presence. When the time is gone, you are refreshed, renewed, and restored. A great conversation with your close friend can take the worst of circumstances and make them better, can take a mediocre day and turn it into a good day, and can provide the uplift you need to face a particular challenge because you have received encouragement, advice, and support. These benefits are from our human friends.

Now imagine enjoying God’s presence in a similar way. Moses and God were friends. Moses spent regular time with Him (Ex 33:7-11). How incredible is that?

Guess what? If you are a Christ-follower, then you also are considered a friend of God (John 15:9-17). Jesus called His followers His friends. He invites us to abide with Him. He loves us. Just as we read of God having specific friends like Moses and Abraham (James 2:23), we also read that Jesus chooses to be our Friend and invites us to enjoy His presence. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is with us always (Matt 28:20). The issue is not whether or not Jesus is with us, the issue is whether or not you enjoy His presence and reap the benefits of that friendship.

The issue is not whether or not Jesus is with us, the issue is whether or not you enjoy His presence and reap the benefits of that friendship.

Moses recognized God’s friendship as grace.

Moses asked God, “For how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in Your sight, except You go with us?” (Ex 33:16). Moses made a one-to-one connection between God’s grace and His presence. Again, that’s what is so cool about our relationship with God too. We have His presence always. God the Father is omnipresent, God the Son never leaves us, God the Holy Spirit indwells us, and God’s Word – His words to us – is forever. We can read His Word, memorize His Word, meditate on His Word, and share His Word with each other. All of this is grace.

The friendship of God is grace upon grace upon grace. We do not deserve it, just as Moses did not deserve it. God said to Moses, “I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion” (Ex 33:19). Moses and the children of Israel – just like every one of us – did not deserve God’s grace. Yet, God in His grace was their friend. As Paul considered God’s relationship with Israel, he concluded, “So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy” (Rom 9:15-16). Your friendship with God magnifies God’s mercy and grace. It is no small thing to be a friend of God.

Your friendship with God magnifies God's mercy and grace. It is no small thing to be a friend of God.

Are you stubborn in the best way?

Are you stubborn in the best way? Do you insist on not going anywhere without the awareness of God’s presence? Do you recognize than any victory or success in life is empty or vain without enjoying God’s presence along the way? Do you worship God daily in gratitude of His marvelous grace and mercy that He bestows upon you in friendship?

Be stubborn in the best way. Do not budge one inch from your current position without making yourself aware of God’s presence, enjoying His presence, and rejoicing in the grace of God’s presence with you in this moment and throughout your day and night.

For more information on the presence of God, consider this post: When Your Trial Seems Impossible.

Pastor Kevin’s Blog | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey

© 2018 KEVINCARSON.COM

Seven things your small-group leader wishes you knew

Article by Tim Thornborough 

As soon as September starts, the Autumn routine kicks in. Sunday school; guest events; youth groups; home groups. Apart from a brief breather in October, we’re all pretty much running hard until we collapse into bed filled with Christmas Dinner.

In all the busy-ness, it’s tempting to think of your home group as an optional extra—to fit in so long as you have the time, and the energy.

Here’s 7 things that your home group leaders wishes you knew:

1. Your attendance really matters. Even if you are dead on your feet, with numbed neurones from a brutal day at the grindstone—just being there will be a massive encouragement and help to others.
2. Your thoughts really matter. Your group leader doesn’t want the Bible study to be “lively” for the sake of it. A home group is an expression of a fundamental principle of the Christian life: God’s people gathered around God’s word, trying to work out how God would have us live for him today. Sharing your thoughts from the passage with the group—even if you are nervous to speaking up, or think your observations are obvious—is really important for everyone in the room. It’s what fellowship is all about.
3. Your prayers really matter. We pray en masse at whole church gatherings, but it is in small groups that prayer takes on a more intimate character. You bless and encourage others by praying out loud for them, and by engaging with their prayer requests in a way that shows you have listened and understood what they are struggling with.
4. Your prayer requests really matter. As forgiven sinners, Christians should be free-er than most to admit weakness, failures, needs. Doing so in a small group is easier than a larger group, and it helps others to know that they are not alone in their experience of weakness and failure. This surely part of what James means when he encourages us to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16).
5. Your gratitude matters. Prayer times can often be characterised by a lot of grumbling: illness, trauma, conflict and … well, more illness! Expressing things we are grateful to God for is a great example to set for others—especially if what we are grateful for is everyday experiences that others will have. If you invite people to rejoice in God’s goodness and grace with you, you will make your group prayer times more rounded and rewarding.
6. Your laughter matters. There should be moments for seriousness any time Christians meet. But our gatherings are chiefly characterised by joy. After all, we share the riches of Christ, and look forward to eternity together. Every home group should be a little taste of heaven. So smiling and laughing with the group is of particular importance; if we treat it as a business meeting, or a classroom, we’re missing the point.
7. Your dependence on the group matters. All the above adds up one thing. Participating in your home group with joy is a sign that you have got a healthy relationship with church. Not a club to dip into. But a family to belong to, that depends on each other in tangible ways.

I know it can feel burdensome to get into gear for the season. But when you understand both what you receive and what you can give, home group takes on a whole new perspective.

Article posted at: https://www.thegoodbook.co.uk/blog/interestingthoughts/2018/09/03/seven-things-your-small-group-leader-wishes-you-kn/