Seven Strategies for Fighting Envy

Article by  Stephen Witmer   Pastor, Pepperell, Massachusetts

Envy is a stingy and demanding master. It’s stingy because, unlike many other sins, there’s absolutely nothing pleasurable about experiencing it. Most sins bait the hook: lust offers excitement and escape, greed promises wealth and pleasure, gossip promises power and participation in the inner circle. And many sins are at least temporarily pleasurable (that’s why we do them).

But with envy, it’s all hook and no bait. There’s no upside to envy, not even a small or temporary spike of guilty pleasure. That’s why no one consciously plans or schemes to envy (as you might plan to satisfy a lustful desire). We feel envy in spite of ourselves, even though we don’t want to. It’s the great unsought sin.

Envy is also terribly demanding. Although it delivers nothing, it requires much. It can absorb and dominate a life. It can poison pleasures and steal joys and waste time. Envy can make your own blessed life feel shabby and inadequate. It is, in fact, one of the sins that presents the most obvious affront to the sovereignty of God; it questions God’s plans, choices, and goodness. Envy is rebellion.

Seven Strategies for Fighting Envy

“Envy questions God’s plans, choices, and goodness. Envy is rebellion.”

Anyone, no matter how attractive, accomplished, respected, and successful, can feel envy. I’ve heard people I envied confessing their envy of other people. There’s always someone who has what we don’t or is better than we are at what we do. Envy is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic, and is often accompanied by other sins (James 3:14–16).

All of which is to say, this is an important enemy to study, understand, and battle with all our might. Below are seven strategies I’ve found helpful in the fight. Wielding these weapons won’t guarantee quick victory but will at least keep us in the thick of the fight.

1. See Clearly

In his book, The Godly Man’s Picture, the Puritan Thomas Watson wrote, “A humble man is willing to have his name and gifts eclipsed, so that God’s glory may be increased. He is content to be outshone by others in gifts and esteem, so that the crown of Christ may shine the brighter. . . A humble Christian is content to be laid aside if God has any other tools to work with which may bring him more glory.” This humble attitude is the opposite of envy, which yearns to possess what others have. Envy is an expression of selfishness and pride. It’s good to see it clearly for what it is.

2. Confess Openly

Several years ago, I looked a dear friend in the eye and confessed my envy of his abilities and successes. I asked for his forgiveness. It was humbling and very helpful. I’m not suggesting we confess to every single person we ever envy, but particularly when we begin to envy a close friend, we’re not serving them well as a faithful friend. Our confession will allow them to pray for us, and the act of naming the sin will often help to minimize its power over us.

3. Pray Instead

When I pray for the success of someone I envy, my heart starts to change. Envy pits me against them but prayer puts me on their team. I am now calling God’s blessing down upon them. I’m invested emotionally in their well-being. I begin to envy them less. In fact, their further successes now become answers to my prayers! I asked God for that very thing they’ve now accomplished. How can I resent it?

4. Pursue Friendship

Envy both isolates and then feeds on isolation. It’s difficult to grow a genuine friendship with those who trigger our sinful feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness and discontentment. So, we may begin to avoid the people or situations who make us feel that way.

Envy, in turn, thrives in isolation. When we’re not in genuine relationships with those we envy, we won’t actually love and rejoice with them in their successes. Neither will we see their very real struggles and insecurities. Instead, we will spin our own distorted narrative, and the complex realities and hardships of that person’s life won’t be a part of it.

5. Identify Idols

Over the years, God has helped me glimpse some of the root causes of my envy and this has helped enormously. In spite of the unconditional love of godly parents, I forged (from an early age) a deep identification between identity and performance which endured into my adult years. It’s not difficult to see how envy thrived: if I’m valuable because of what I achieve, and someone else can do it better, they are better than me. Comprehending the roots of my own envy has helped me better understand its deep and enduring power.

6. Run to the Gospel

To combat the idols of my heart, I now more consciously fight envy by setting my heart and mind on gospel promises and by regularly reminding myself (especially at the beginning of the day) of my identity in Jesus. Because this temptation will likely not disappear any time soon, I know I must keep onpreaching the gospel to myself.

7. Strive for Reality over Appearances

“We feel envy in spite of ourselves, even though we don’t want to. It’s the great unsought sin.”

Richard Baxter has helped me greatly through his advice to “Study first to be whatever . . . you [rightly] desire to seem.” Envy frequently focuses on the external appearances or accomplishments of others; we long for the fame or respect or achievements of that other person without giving due thought to the hardship and discipline that led to it. Baxter wisely counsels Christians to allow their desires to seem godly to other people to remind them how much more valuable it is to actually be godly. The sharp stab of envy can serve as our reminder to pursue realities (whether or not anyone else ever sees).

Perhaps you’re discouraged that those envious feelings keep ambushing you, and you long to be free. Or maybe you’ve made peace with your envy of others; perhaps you’re so used to it, you hardly even notice anymore. This is a call to fight. There is hope for us in the battle against this stingy, demanding enemy. We can fight for freedom with the gospel weapons God provides, for the sake of his awesome glory and our great joy.

Stephen Witmer (@stephenwitmer1) is the pastor of Pepperell Christian Fellowship in Pepperell, Massachusetts, and teaches New Testament at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He helps to lead Small Town Summits, which partners with The Gospel Coalition New England to serve rural churches and pastors. He and his wife, Emma, have three children.

Article posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/seven-strategies-for-fighting-envy

How To Distinguish True Zeal from False Zeal

Article by Tim Challies

Ifear there is a plague of complacency among Christians today. Whatever happened to zeal? Whatever happened to Christians who are on fire to know and obey God, who have (in the words of John Reynolds) “an earnest desire and concern for all things pertaining to the glory of God and the kingdom of the Lord Jesus among men?” Yet while zeal is a noble trait, it must be properly directed, for not all zeal is good. Here are some pointers on distinguishing true from false zeal.

False zeal is blind. Paul accused some religious enthusiasts of his day of having “a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge” (Romans 10:2). The fire that consumed them was not the fire of the Holy Spirit but an out-of-control wildfire. The Athenians, likewise, were zealous for religion, but lost as to the identity of the true and living God.

False zeal is self-seeking. It is hypocritical, using religion as a means of gain. It seeks the good of self rather than the glory of God. This is the zeal of those who make a great pretense of godliness, but whose foremost concern is actually personal enrichment.

False zeal is misguided. It pursues minor doctrines and disputable matters while putting aside the weightier matters of God’s law. It is obsessed with traditions and institutions rather than obedience. The Pharisees were far more concerned with the washing of cups than the cleansing of souls.

False zeal is impulsive. It is inspired by impulsive reaction rather than thoughtful conviction. James and John said they would call for fire to come down from heaven, but were rebuked by Jesus for their impetuousness. Their zeal was false, unhelpful, ungodly.

These are all marks of false zeal. True zeal is marked by very different characteristics.

True zeal is Godward. It cannot bear to see God’s reputation harmed or his honor stolen. This was the zeal of the church of Ephesus of whom Jesus said, “I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false” (Revelation 2:2). This zeal is concerned with defending the glory and honor of God.

True zeal is fearless. It is strengthened by opposition and resistant to discouragement. Zeal will cause a Christian to face dangers that seem insurmountable or enemies that seem impossible to defeat. It is a fire that burns even stronger when fanned by hostility.

True zeal is knowledgeable. It is not based on impulsiveness or ignorance, but a deep understanding of truth. It begins with knowledge of God and ends in conformity to God. Wisdom blazes the trail of zeal and holiness brings up the rear.

True zeal is passionate. It will stand for truth even when that truth is despised or opposed. “It is time for the LORD to act,” says David, “for your law has been broken” (Psalm 119:126). The more unbelievers reject the truth and despise those who believe it, the more courageous Christians become in the face of their opposition.

True zeal generates obedience. It makes us hear God’s Word with reverence, to pray with persistence, to love others with brotherly affection. It is the height of hypocrisy for a believer to be outwardly zealous while inwardly committed to sin. A godly heart boils over with holy affection for God and man.

True zeal is persistent. It cannot be quenched, no matter what winds blow against it or what water is poured over it. Just as the body’s heat remains as long as their is physical life, the heat of zeal lasts as long as there is spiritual life. Zeal that does not persist reveals that it was only ever a mirage.

This article is taken from The Godly Man’s Picture.

Article posted at:  https://www.challies.com/reading-classics-together/how-to-distinguish-true-zeal-from-false-zeal/

Loving Difficult People

Article by Stacy Reaoch

It was only a three-minute escape. Listening to my name being chanted over and over, louder and louder, with greater urgency, along with pounding on the door, you might imagine me to be a rock star.

But in reality, I’m the mother of a toddler who has decided he is only content when he is in my arms. My escape was merely a trip to the bathroom in which I took a deep breath behind the locked door before re-entering my world of diapers, blocks, and Daniel Tiger. And even though I love this little guy with all my heart, at times he can definitely be a difficult person to keep showing love to, especially in the midst of tantrums and tears.

Difficult People Are Everywhere

It probably isn’t hard for you to think of a difficult person in your own life. In our broken, sin-filled world, they are everywhere. The coworker who is willing to do anything to get ahead, including taking credit for your ideas. The in-laws who always seem to be peering over your shoulder, critiquing your parenting skills, and offering “suggestions” for improvement. The child who knows exactly how to push your buttons to leave you exasperated and flustered again. The person in your ministry who is constantly complaining about your leadership, who thinks he has better ideas and communicates them with a sharp and biting tongue. The passive-aggressive friend who is kind one moment and gives you the cold shoulder the next. The list can go on and on.

So, what do we do with these people? With constant strained relationships? Our natural tendency is to want to run the other way, to avoid them as much as possible. But is that what honors God in these hard situations?

Difficult People Have Been Around Forever

Moses was no stranger to leading a group of difficult people. Even after rescuing them out of slavery and leading them safely away from the Egyptians, the Israelites were not happy with him. Instead of being grateful for their new freedom and provision from God, they were shedding tears over the menu (Numbers 11:4–6), grumbling about not having water (Numbers 20:2–3), wishing they had died in Egypt and could choose another leader (Numbers 14:2–4). Even Moses’s own siblings were jealous of his leadership (Numbers 12:2) and complained to God about their brother and his Cushite wife.

Yet what amazes me about Moses is that he didn’t retaliate against this annoying group of people. He didn’t even defend himself against the harsh accusations. Instead, he demonstrated amazing humility and compassion on those he led, repeatedly interceding for them.

Moses pled with God to heal Miriam’s leprosy (Numbers 12:13). He begged God to forgive Israel’s unbelief when it was time to enter the Promised Land (Numbers 14:19). He lay prostrate before God, fasting forty days and nights after Aaron and the Israelites had made the golden calf to worship (Deuteronomy 9:13–18).

Admittedly, there were moments when the Israelites’ constant complaints drove Moses to the brink of despair (Exodus 5:22; Numbers 11:14–15), yet by God’s grace he persevered. And even at the very end of his life, he was still lovingly leading the disobedient Israelites.

Keep on Loving

Moses remained steadfast to his last days and made sure God had another leader in place to take over. He didn’t want his wandering sheep to be without a shepherd (Numbers 27:16–17). Moses never stopped loving them, even at their worst.

“Ask God for grace not to run away, but to keep engaging in love that hard-to-love person.”

By God’s grace, we too can keep loving the difficult people God has placed in our lives. The easy thing is to cut the troublesome person out of your life when possible, or just avoid them at best.

But I suggest we are more like our patient and loving Savior when we bear with each other and seek to show mercy and kindness, no matter how we are treated.

Here are six practical ways, among many others, to show love to a difficult person God has placed in your path.

1. Pray for your own heart.

Ask God to soften your heart towards this person, to put off anger and irritability, to put on meekness and kindness, to understand this person’s struggles and meet them with compassion (Colossians 3:12–14).

2. Pray for them.

Ask God to be at work in their hearts, drawing unbelievers to himself and sanctifying believers to become more like Jesus (Philippians 1:9–11).

3. Move toward them, not away from them.

Although our tendency is to want to steer clear of people with whom we have strained relationships, they are exactly the people we need to be intentionally moving toward. Find ways to engage them in conversation, meet them for coffee, send them a text.

4. Find specific ways to bless and encourage them.

Write them a note of appreciation. Buy them a book that has been an encouragement to you. Tell them you are praying for them.

5. Give them grace, just as God extends grace to you.

Remember God’s lavish grace poured out for your own daily sins. Ask God to help you bear with them, forgiving them, as he has forgiven you (Colossians 3:13).

6. Realize that you too could be the difficult person in someone else’s life!

You might not even realize that you are a thorn in the flesh for someone close to you. Don’t be oblivious to your own shortcomings and sins.

So, when that child has you on the brink of tears, or you’ve just received a harsh and critical email about your ministry, or you’re confronted with that extended family member who drives you up the wall, ask God for grace not to run away, but to keep engaging that hard-to-love person in love.

God will be honored and our hearts will find deeper satisfaction as we seek to love people just as Christ loved us when we were his enemies.

Article Originally posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/loving-difficult-people

When God Interrupts Your Plans

Article by Christina Fox

We were recently on a vacation when God interrupted my plans. My family and I had traveled hundreds of miles to stay at a hotel on the beach. I had made arrangements to spend one day visiting with friends. But then, in the middle of the night, the night before my scheduled day out, one of my kids woke up sick. I spent the whole next day stuck inside, staring out the hotel window at the long stretch of beach that was just outside of my reach.

An Interrupted Life

My life is filled with interruptions, inconveniences, frustrations, and unexpected events. Things break. Accidents happen. The phone rings just as I climb into bed. Traffic makes me late. Just when we don’t need another added expense, an appliance breaks. Unexpected illnesses change my carefully crafted plans. I could go on and on. You probably could too.

The problem is, I usually handle these interruptions to my life poorly. I react with frustration and anger. Like a young child, I want to stomp my feet and say, “It’s not fair!” I blame others for inconveniencing me. I’ll even throw my own pity parties.

“Small frustrations and interruptions give us opportunities to rely on God.”

Though these interruptions are unexpected and catch me off guard, they do not catch God off guard. They are not random, meaningless events. In fact, these interruptions are divinely placed in my path for a reason. God uses these interruptions to change me to be more like Christ.

Slow traffic, a sick child, or a costly home repair may not seem like important tools in our sanctification, but they are. We often overlook these interruptions and inconveniences and instead expect God to work in our lives through huge life-changing circumstances. But the reality is, we often won’t have major events in our life that cause us to trust God and obey him in some deeply profound way. We won’t be called to build an ark or take an only child up Mount Moriah. Rather, it’s in these small frustrations and interruptions, the little things in our life, where we are given opportunities to rely on God, to obey him, and to bring him glory.

Paul Tripp puts it like this:

You and I don’t live in a series of big, dramatic moments. We don’t careen from big decision to big decision. We all live in an endless series of little moments. The character of a life isn’t set in ten big moments. The character of a life is set in ten thousand little moments of everyday life. It’s the themes of struggles that emerge from those little moments that reveal what’s really going on in our hearts. (Whiter Than Snow, 21)

Interruptions of Grace

These ten thousand little moments come in the form of our children asking us to play a game with them when we are tied up with something else. They are moments like when we get stuck behind a school bus when we’re already late to an appointment, or when we have a flat tire on the way to work. They are in all those moments all throughout the day when things don’t go our way, our plans fail, and our life is interrupted.

It’s these moments where the rubber meets the road — where our faith is stretched and we look down to see whether we are standing on rock or sand. Do we really believe that God is in control of all the details of our life? Do we really believe that his grace is sufficient to get us through the day? Do we really believe that the gospel of Christ is powerful enough not only to save us for eternity, but also to sustain and strengthen us in the midst of life’s interruptions? Do we really believe that Christ is enough to satisfy all the deepest needs of our heart?

These interruptions are acts of God’s grace. They force us to work through these questions. They make us face our sin. They are God’s way of taking off our blinders and making us see that we need the gospel in every moment of the day. They are a light that shines on the darkest recesses of our heart, revealing the truth of what’s really there — the sins and idols that we’ve pushed off into the corner, thinking that if we can’t see them, they must not exist.

The Reminder We Need

These interruptions remind us that we don’t have life figured out and that we can’t do it on our own. They are like the Shepherd’s rod, pulling us back from our wandering ways, back to our Great Shepherd. We need these interruptions. Like nothing else, they push us to the cross of Christ where we must remember the gospel and receive his grace and forgiveness.

“Christ cares more about our transformation than about our daily comfort.”

It’s hard to see all the little frustrating events and interruptions in our day as divinely placed opportunities to grow in grace, but they are. And seeing them as such helps us take our eyes off ourselves and put them on Christ, who cares more about our transformation than about our daily comfort. Rather than giving us a life of ease, he interrupts our lives with grace and shows us what we need most of all: himself.

How about you? Is your life filled with interruptions? Do you see God’s hand at work in them?

Christina Fox (@christinarfox) writes for a number of Christian ministries and publications including True Woman, ERLC, and The Gospel Coalition. She is the author of Closer Than a Sister: How Union with Christ helps Friendships to Flourish. You can find her at www.christinafox.com and on Facebook.

Article originally posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-god-interrupts-your-plans

Just Forget About Marriage for a Minute!

Article by Tim Challies

We are a people obsessed with love. We crave love and long to both extend and receive it. It is the subject of our favorite films, the theme of our treasured poems, the thrill of our happy hearts. Yet for all the love we see and experience, there is one much greater than them all. While we find it in a passage of the Bible that describes the relationship of a husband and wife, it points us to a love that is even deeper, even greater, and even more thrilling. Ephesians 5 tells a husband he must love his wife as Jesus Christ loves his church. So let’s forget about marriage for a minute and reflect simply on how we are loved by our great Savior.

Christ Loves the Church with a Sacrificial Love

First, Christ loves his church with a sacrificial love. “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus’s life culminated in an act of sacrifice for the sake of his church. He sacrificed himself to all the horrors of the cross so that we would not need to endure it ourselves. He turned himself over to the wrath of God so that we would never need to face it. There is no sacrifice that could ever be greater or costlier than this.

Christ Loves the Church with a Sanctifying Love

Second, Christ loves his church with a sanctifying love. “Jesus Christ gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her.” The point and purpose of Christ’s sacrifice was sanctification. That word is used in a few different ways, but here it refers to being devoted to God. This tells us that Jesus sanctifies his church by setting her apart to the service of God. We were merrily (or miserably) going our own way, set apart to serve the world, the flesh, and the devil, when Jesus Christ reached out to us, saved us, and set us apart to serve God. Christ loves his church and sanctifies us to the best and highest purpose a human being can achieve—living to the glory of God.

Christ Loves the Church with a Purifying Love

Third, Christ loves his church with a purifying love. “Jesus Christ gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her.” Jesus does not merely set us apart to God’s purposes, but he also gives us what we need to be effective in accomplishing those purposes. And what is it that we need? Purity! Holiness! He equips us by purifying us from our sin. We enter the Christian life as people with sinful desires, sinful habits, sinful inclinations, sinful longings, but Christ delights to purify us. He gives us new desires, new habits, and new longings. This is not a one-time act but one that goes on every day as we take hold of his power to put sin to death and come alive to righteousness.

Christ Loves the Church with a Gospel Love

Fourth, Christ loves his church with a gospel love. “…that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” We all know that water washes away dirt. It cleanses and purifies our bodies. What cleanses and purifies our souls? The gospel! The gospel is the spiritual water that cleanses us from all impurity. We hear this gospel and believe it and are saved, then all throughout our lives we continue to hear this gospel and to become purified from indwelling sin. The gospel is what saves us, the gospel is what sanctifies us, the gospel is what purifies us. The Christian life is not all about our grit and determination to be better people, but about continuing to hear, heed, and apply the gospel of Jesus Christ. Christ’s love for the church is declared by the gospel, enabled by the gospel, and eventually completed by the gospel.

Christ Loves the Church with a Purposeful Love

Finally, Christ loves his church with a purposeful love. Why did Christ sacrifice himself, then sanctify and purify his church by the gospel? Verse 27: “So that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” At the end of time, when history comes to its close, Jesus will present the church to himself in absolute perfection—this is the purpose he holds in mind. In Revelation John looks forward in time and sees this: “I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem [i.e. the church], coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.’” Here is a vision of Christ the groom receiving the church his bride, perfectly adorned for her husband. Spotless. Pure. Holy. Perfect. Unstained. And they will dwell together forever as one.

Conclusion

Do you see how we have been loved? Do you see how we are being loved? Do you see how we will be loved? Do you rejoice at the love of Jesus Christ for you, his church? You were dead in your sin, a spiritual corpse, unable to do anything but deepen your rebellion. There was no hope for you. But then, out of love, Christ sacrificed himself to do for you what you could not do for yourself. Out of love Christ sanctified you to God’s purposes, to set you apart so you could live the life God created you to live. Out of love, Christ purified you, so he could put aside the sin that hinders you and instead give you his righteousness. He did this all through the word of the gospel and through it all has a great and final purpose in mind. You are loved. 

Article originally posted here:  https://www.challies.com/articles/just-forget-about-marriage-for-a-minute/

Mercy for Today

Devotional by John Piper, Solid Joy Devotionals

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.(Lamentations 3:22–23)

God’s mercies are new every morning because each day only has enough mercy in it for that day. God appoints every day’s troubles. And God appoints every day’s mercies. In the life of his children, they are perfectly appointed. Jesus said, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34). Every day has its own trouble. Every day has its own mercies. Each is new every morning.

But we often tend to despair when we think that we may have to bear tomorrow’s load on today’s resources. God wants us to know: We won’t. Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles. Tomorrow’s mercies are for tomorrow’s troubles.

Sometimes we wonder if we will have the mercy to stand in terrible testing. Yes, we will. Peter says, “If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you” (1 Peter 4:14). When the reviling comes, the Spirit of glory comes. It happened for Stephen as he was being stoned. It will happen for you. When the Spirit and the glory are needed, they will come.

The manna in the wilderness was given one day at a time. There was no storing up. That is the way we must depend on God’s mercy. You do not receive today the strength to bear tomorrow’s burdens. You are given mercies today for today’s troubles.

Tomorrow the mercies will be new. “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:9).

Models for Combating Discouragement

Devotional by John Piper, Part of Solid Joys Devotionals

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)

Literally the verb is simply fail, not “may fail.” This God-besotted psalmist, Asaph, says, “My flesh and my heart fail!” I am despondent! I am discouraged! But then immediately he fires a broadside against his despondency: “But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

The psalmist does not yield to discouragement. He battles unbelief with counterattack.

In essence, he says, “In myself I feel very weak and helpless and unable to cope. My body is shot, and my heart is almost dead. But whatever the reason for this despondency, I will not yield. I will trust God and not myself. He is my strength and my portion.”

The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.” This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was “dead.” That’s the way it felt.

David says the same thing in Psalm 23:2–3, “He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” The soul of the “man after [God’s] own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14) needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again.

God has put these testimonies in the Bible so that we might use them to fight the unbelief of despondency. And we fight with the blast of faith in God’s promises: “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” We preach that to ourselves. And we thrust it into Satan’s face. And we believe it.