Women are Not the Problem

By Melissa Kruger

As news broke last week about Ravi Zacharias’s spiritual and sexual abuse of women, I read the various accounts with profound sadness for those most directly affected by his misconduct. The betrayal, loneliness, fear, and shame women experienced because of his sinful actions are in complete opposition to the tender shepherding care Jesus extended to women. Jesus bound up wounds, Zacharias inflicted them.

While it’s abundantly clear how Zacharias’s actions directly harmed these particular women, I also fear how his actions will affect women in churches all over the world as upright men seek to avoid following in his footsteps.

It is wise to give careful thought to our ways and commendable to be circumspect in our actions. However, I’m concerned that certain well-intentioned guardrails have the potential to harm women. Pastors and church leaders, whatever actions you take to fight for purity, it’s important to remember: women are not the problem.

As you rightly prepare your minds for action (1 Pet. 1:13), here are a few truths to consider.

1. Draw near to God (don’t withdraw from women).

James instructs, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8). Fighting sin begins by setting our affections on God, spending time in his presence, meditating on his Word, and considering his character. This is daily work. This is heart work. This is hard work.

As the Puritan John Flavel explained,

Heart work is hard work indeed. To shuffle over religious duties with a loose and heedless spirit, will cost no great pains; but to set thyself before the Lord, and tie up thy loose and vain thoughts to a constant and serious attendance upon him; this will cost thee something.

Withdrawing from women isn’t the solution. In fact, it’s part of the problem. It wasn’t good for Adam to be alone in the garden, and it’s not good for men to be without women in the church. Men need mothers, sisters, and daughters in the faith, just as women need fathers, brothers, and sons. We are a family, a beautiful body made up of many parts. We’re vitally connected to one another, and every part is essential for us to function properly. Avoidance isn’t the remedy. Drawing near to God is.

Avoidance isn’t the remedy. Drawing near to God is.

Begin each day with Jesus: Abide. Confess. Repent. Obey. Do soul work before you do ministry work. Wake up tomorrow with the same goal—abide, confess, repent, obey.

2. Know your enemy (it’s not women).

The world (its advertising, influences, and sinful amusements), the flesh (our selfish and covetous desires), and the Devil (his lies and enticements to evil)—these are the enemies of our souls. The world allures us, the flesh invites us, and the Devil entraps us. Whatever temptations we encounter, though, we have a promise: “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13).

If you’re attracted to someone in an improper way, practice wisdom in your interactions. Flee all forms of sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). Avoid the enticements of an adulteress (Prov. 7:5).

However, don’t make blanket rules that prevent relationships or interactions with all women. Women are not your enemy. They traveled with Jesus and provided for him out of their means (Luke 8:1–3). Jesus loved Mary and Martha. He ate with them. He taught them. He wept with them (John 11:5–33). He welcomed and esteemed their ministry (Matt. 26:13). Women can encourage and bless your ministry.

3. Seek accountability (but not at the expense of women).

It’s good to have accountability. Have people in your life who will ask you tough questions. Put protective software on your electronic devices. Avoid shows and songs that stir up wrong desires. Be careful, though, that you don’t communicate to women that they are the problem.

A pastor once proudly told me his purity plan: “When I’m attracted to a woman, I treat her terribly.” (I’m not making this up.) He enacted this misguided plan in his ministry; I witnessed the painful effects.

I also know some elders who practice a policy of always copying someone else on email correspondence with women. While you may be trying to communicate “I’m above reproach,” it often communicates “You are dangerous.”

If emailing women is a stumbling block, you may want to reconsider your ministry calling.

I’m all for being circumspect, but any electric correspondence has inherent accountability since it can easily be forwarded or copied. Email is a positive and proactive way to prayerfully support women and engage with them theologically (John Calvin regularly corresponded with women).

If emailing women in general about prayer requests, theological questions, or the next church picnic is a stumbling block, you may want to reconsider your ministry calling.

4. Shepherd the flock (which includes women).

If you’re an elder or a minister of the flock of God, you are called to shepherd women. This isn’t remote work. Jesus explained, “The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice” (John 10:4–5).

It harms women to be distant in your care. Protect the women in your flock by interacting with them, not by avoiding them. Know their names and let them know your voice. Be interested in them. Ask how you can pray for them. Encourage their service. Support their ministry. A kind, encouraging word from an elder or pastor can spur on so much good. Don’t make the mistake of thinking purity involves avoiding women. See them. Know them. Shepherd them.

Protect the women in your flock by interacting with them, not by avoiding them.

By God’s grace may we seek to live lives worthy of the gospel. Yes, some men may use their power to harm women—and some women may wrongly entice men. But pastors and elders can also harm sisters by sins of omission. Let us not confuse the avoidance of evil with an avoidance of women.

posted at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/women-not-problem/

3 Ways Jesus Revealed the Worth of Women

BY KARESSE WARREN 

The New Testament shows us that Jesus treated women as friends. He demonstrated the worth of women in the way he treated them—particularly in a culture and time that did not hold women in high regard.

So, why does that matter? It matters because as believers we are called to look like Jesus. For women, this means having a right understanding of our worth and value, based upon Jesus’s treatment of women. For men, whether single or married, this means looking to Jesus as the example of how to treat women.

Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher recently released a book called Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women, which examines how Jesus treated and valued women. I found the book incredibly helpful to my own understanding and want to share a few highlights:

1. Jesus Noticed Women

In an era when women were often treated as lower than animals and servants, especially by men in power, Jesus revolutionized the world by entering into the lives of women and treating them as they were—image-bearers created with great value and worth. Jesus not only noticed women, but he also praised them and used them as examples of what it meant to love and serve him. In Luke 21 Jesus not only noticed the poor widow but, in front of everyone, including men, he praised the widow’s obedience and trust. He spoke life into her and exposed her value, something no other men around him would dare to think of doing. Jesus noticed women, and he loved them.

2. Jesus Enjoyed the Company of Women

The Bible specifically mentions women being present at both the cross and the tomb. These ladies, who knew and cared for Jesus, had gathered to be near their Savior and friend. They enjoyed his company and knew they had no reason to fear how they would be treated by him. They never worried if he would belittle them, never worried if he would treat as objects or as seductresses.

Jesus enjoyed the company of women, and he demonstrated that in the way he befriended them. We see this displayed in his relationship with Mary and Martha. When Jesus came to them after their brother had died, Mary ran to Jesus and boldly asked him where he was and why he hadn’t come sooner! This level of trust and display of honest grief and despair shows the depth of friendship Mary had with Jesus. How did Jesus respond to their grief? He wept. Jesus entered into Mary and Martha’s pain.

3. Jesus Taught & Discipled Women 

During biblical times, most women were not given the opportunity to be educated. In fact, many leaders—especially religious ones—viewed educating women as scandalous. Yet, Jesus quickly debunked this ideology. In Luke 10, we read that Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, but that’s not all that Luke describes. He goes out of his way to say that Mary was sitting and listening. In other words: Jesus was teaching and educating Mary.

The authors go on to say that “Jesus’ willingness to allow women to listen to his teaching and to become part of his ministry went against the rabbinic practices of his day. Our Lord, from the beginning, loves and includes women among his disciples and his fellowship.”

From the beginning, Jesus has included women in his plan of redemption. And as Worthy shares, he continued to utilize women throughout his ministry. The first European convert to Christianity was a woman, as was the first European to receive the sign of the covenant. And the first European church? It met in the home of a successful businesswoman named Lydia.

The kingdom Jesus came to establish was for both men and women, and Jesus, from the very beginning, showed he would use both to further his kingdom.

Women, You are Valuable & Worthy

As women, we can easily search for our value in many different places—our marital status, professional success, appearance, or intelligence (just to name a few!). But Jesus showed us that our value comes from being created in the image of God.

The way that Jesus interacted with women was not simply for their own comfort or to make them feel good about themselves. Indeed, Jesus values women equally with men. But rather than stopping there, his example shows us that he believes women play a role in advancing his kingdom. And not only a role, but a voice. As women, Jesus desires for us to be a part of the local church, to have a place to speak into ministry, and to see our greatest task as making disciples—whether that is within the church or in our own home.

Karesse Warren

Karesse serves as the Assistant Director of Student Ministry. She is passionate about getting to be a part of people's stories and getting to see God work in others' lives. Karesse enjoys spending time with her husband, her family, and her closest friends.

What Does Paul Mean When He Says, “Act Like Men”?

Wyatt Graham

At the end of his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul exhorts the church to, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Cor 16:13). In particular, the phrase “act like men” has led many to assert that the apostle makes a positive case for acting in a masculine manner.

This misconstrues the phrase’s meaning. The phrase “act like men” translates a single Greek word (ἀνδρίζομαι) which means to act in a courageous and virtuous manner. To understand the meaning of the verb translated above as “act like men,” we can refer to its dictionary definition, its use in contemporary sources, and its contextual meaning in 1 Corinthians. 

Dictionary DefinitionA standard New Testament Greek dictionary, BDAG, provides the translational gloss for ἀνδρίζομαι as “conduct oneself in a courageous way” (s.v. ἀνδρίζομαι, 76).

BDAG’s definitional gloss shows how the word was used during the era of the New Testament. Its earlier use in classical literature as well its later use during a sort of classical renaissance (4th ce.) had a more direct masculine tilt (the verb relates to the word “male,” ἀνήρ). 

BrillDAG a dictionary that supplies classical Greek definitions provides a number of glosses such as “to cause to become a man, make strong” or “to reach manhood, maturity.” Other uses include “to act as a man, behave manfully” or “to wear men’s clothing” (s.v. ἀνδρίζω) In these cases, the direct meaning “act as a man” exists alongside the metaphorical meaning of “make strong.”

Part of the difficulty with defining ἀνδρίζομαι is that in philosophical discussions during the centuries before Christ “to be manly” became synonomous with “to be virtuous.” This sort of use can be seen in the contemporary word virtue which comes from the Latin word vir, which means “man.”  Yet when this term for virtue or courage becomes applied generically or to both sexes, it takes its obviously metaphorical meaning: to be courageous or virtuous. 

Contemporary Use

Polycarp during his martyrdom (early 100s) is reported to have heard a voice say to him: “be strong, and show yourself to be a man [ἀνδρίζου]” (MPoly 9). During the 90s,

Hermas could apply this term to both a man (VHermas 3.12.2) or to a woman (3.8.4). In this sense, the word “act courageously” has masculine overtones but can likewise be applied to women since it carries a universally applicable attribute: namely, courage or virtue. 

Contextual Meaning

In first Corinthians 16:13, Paul addresses the church of Corinth which comprises both men and women as earlier passages in 1 Corinthians  make clear (e.g., 1 Cor 14:34). The resurrection destiny of all Christians into the image of the man Jesus Christ also applies to both men and women in Corinth (1 Cor 15). There is not then any obvious hint that Paul somehow specifies only men in 1 Corinthians 16. Added to that, the whole sequence of commands link together:

“Watch, stand in the faith, take courage, be strong” (my trans.) and likely the next verse also should be included: “Let all of your activity be done in love” (v. 14). None of this sounds specifically made for men since all should stand in the faith or act in love (cf. 1 Cor 13).

What I think clinches the inclusive sense of the command is Paul’s use of an Old Testament idiom to wait, to be strong and to be courageous (2 Sam 10:12; Ps 27:14; 31:24; BDAG lists these). It is worth quoting a couple of these passages to illustrate the point:

Psalm 27:14: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Psalm 31:24: Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

Paul seems to pull on this classical idiom to encourage faithfulness in 1 Corinthians 16:13:

“Watch, stand in the faith, take courage, be strong.”

If anyone still doubts, we only need to look to the Greek translation of the Hebrew of Psalm 27 which uses the verb ἀνδρίζου to translate the Hebrew term for “courage” (אמץ). The exact same thing is true in Psalm 31:24 which uses ἀνδρίζεσθε.

In Hebrew, the word “courage” (אמץ) does not carry the connotations of masculinity like the Greek term ἀνδρίζομαι can. Hence, the Greek translators of the Old Testament which Paul mainly cites have used ἀνδρίζομαι in its normal metaphorical sense. And it is almost certain that Paul did too. 

Conclusion

Paul’s likely use of an Old Testament idiom to a mixed audience should make it clear that “act like a man” is an imperfect translation. Or more accurately, it would be incorrect to use this translation to mean to act in some distinctively masculine way to the exception of some feminine way of acting. If by acting manly, someone means act courageously, then such a translation would work. Yet almost nobody today in North America would understand this translation with that sense. Hence, to use “act like a man” in translation could unintentionally lead someone to mistake the meaning of the text. Granted, Christian leaders can and should explain the meaning of the passage in context which mitigates this possibility. Still, some emphasize the assumption that this passage denotes masculinity in contrast to femininity as such. It does not. Instead, it encourages all of us to act like the saints of Old—to stand firm in our faith, wait for the Lord and be strong and courageous as the Lord told Joshua before he entered the land by faith (Josh 1:9). 

Posted at: http://wyattgraham.com/what-does-paul-mean-when-he-says-act-like-men/

Lies that Keep Women From Reading the Word

Busyness Is Not the Problem

Article by Rachel Jankovic

The world is full of good advice. Take showers. Brush your teeth. Wear a coat in the cold. Eat regularly. Sleep.

All of us agree with such basic good sense and would counsel others in line with it. “You simply must sleep, and here’s why.” “Brushing your teeth is more than a nice idea.” And so on.

If someone we know began to ignore such advice, we would urge them to reconsider. “Things are so hectic that you are no longer finding the time to put on clothes? You know what, clothes are not one of the optional things — you are going to need to change your habits to make putting on clothing part of your routine.” “Life is so busy that you decided to quit eating and feeding your children? Apparently life is not so busy that you aren’t making time for your upcoming hospitalization and arrest!”

“The value of the Bible is not in the accessories we bring to it.”TweetShare on Facebook

When we believe that something is absolutely critical to a healthy and decent life, we don’t excuse not making time for it — in the same way many of us do not ask ourselves every morning if we can find the time to put on underwear or drink coffee. We have the time, we make the time, we assume the time, we use the time. Whatever it takes, we will have the coffee, and we will wear the underwear.

Spiritual Bad Breath

Why, then, does the very fundamental practice of reading the word of God fall so badly by the wayside for many Christians? Because when it comes down to it, we don’t think it actually matters. If we did, this practice would not be the monumental struggle it is for so many women — women who are drinking coffee, wearing clothing, organizing offices, feeding themselves and others, coordinating all manner of activities, throwing birthday parties, and thinking ahead on Christmas. In short, women who have the time and intelligence to do the things that they prioritize and believe matter.

I think we have let this category of spiritual eating go by the wayside for silly reasons, and no doubt the enemy is pleased with our apathy. We have told ourselves that it is not essential to a healthy and happy life. It does not affect our physical body directly and immediately, so we do not think it is having a serious effect on us. Because it is not immediately visible to all of our Christian friends how much Scripture we have been reading lately, we let it slip. But we are in a situation where spiritually bad breath, spiritual malnourishment, and spiritual nakedness are all commonplace and look normal to us in other Christians.

The more Scripture-soaked the saints are, the more essential they believe reading the Bible to be. Why is that? Because they understand the nature of it. They have come to see how much it affects their life and shapes their thoughts. They know what it is to have a renewed mind (Romans 12:2), to be clothed in Christ (Ephesians 4:21–24), to be strengthened and washed by the word (Colossians 1:9–11). The thought of doing without the word would feel like going without showering or brushing your teeth.

Doing Without the Word

Imagine if you thought that in order for a green bean to nourish you, you had to eat it in a calm place with nice lighting and no kids. What if a shower cleaned you only when you had a journal on hand to write about it? Or what if toothpaste worked only in Instagrammable moments?

Many Christian women do without the word of God. We have set our standards so unbiblically high for the moments in which we will read the Bible that we have devalued the word itself. The value of the Bible is not in the accessories we bring to it. It is not in study guides and long talks with friends. The nourishment of the word is not found in our organization, or in our self-discipline, or in our achievement of any kind. The word has priceless value without us — and we are invited to partake of it all the time.

“The word has priceless value without us — and we are invited to partake of it all the time.”TweetShare on Facebook

We do not know exactly what God’s word is doing for us each time we read, just like we don’t know exactly what our breakfast is doing each time we eat — or which fingernail is being reinforced by which bite of food. We may read Scripture that does not immediately feel like nutrition or hot, cleansing water. But our feelings are not what give value to the process. This is a gift that we are not the makers of, and by some trickery of the enemy, we have cut ourselves off from receiving it. Maybe we will read it later, when we don’t need it so much.

Time to Make a Change

If you have recognized yourself in any of this, I would like to invite you to make a change. Not a change of increased intentionality or thoughtfulness. A change to start believing in faith that the Bible really is what it says it is. We call ourselves Christians — and Christ himself said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God’” (Matthew 4:4).

What does following Christ look like when it comes to Bible reading? It looks like believing him. It looks like taking up the Book and reading. It looks like listening on audio while you get ready, snatching some reading throughout the day as naturally as you might grab a few crackers or eat an apple. It looks like walking in faith to begin eating this word we have been given and waiting to see what God does in you with it. For we know he will begin doing something. And years down the road, when someone wants to know what is most precious to you, the word of God will not be a made-up answer, but a reality.

Rachel Jankovic (@lizziejank) is a wife and mother of seven children. She is author of You Who? Why You Matter and How to Deal with It, and is heavily involved with a Bible reading ministry for women.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/lies-that-keep-women-from-the-word?fbclid=IwAR0E3AM34vsEcgVYooez0EtcTEwmTTYz2tFGwXUv1q7a-NrufNTqUlD-jTE

Is Self Care Wrong for Christian Moms?

by Jen Oshman

Have you ever been to a baby shower where you’re asked to give the mom-to-be your best mothering advice? As a pastor’s wife this happens to me a few times a year and each time I wrack my brain for a good answer. 

I don’t want it to be so sentimental that it’s not practical. Or so spiritual that it’s alienating. Or so funny that it’s not authentic. How can I come up with something winsome, godly, memorable, and hopeful, but also adequately grave and weighty, and jot that down on a 3x5 card for the mom-to-be? 

It’s an impossible task. We’re talking about bringing up the next generation here. 

And yet we do this at every shower because we love advice and pro-tips and life hacks. We all want to know how others are doing it. How they survived. How they thrived. How they’re getting by. 

This game transpired at my oldest daughter’s baby shower several months ago. As my daughter opened each gift, the giver had to read her card out loud so everyone could benefit. 

There was one card that garnered a collective, knowing groan from the entire room. “Um-hmm,” and “Yeah,” and “That’s true,” and “So good,” were whispered throughout. 

Her advice? “When you lose your patience with your baby, because you will, put her in her crib, close the door, and walk away. Take a break for a minute, cool off, and come back. There will be times when you want to lose it. But never shake your baby.” 

It was unanimous. We had all been there. Daily dying to oneself and caring for a baby who will, at times, be cranky and inconsolable is not easy. Throw in sleeplessness, perhaps a father who works long hours, and maybe colic and you have a recipe for instant anger and frustration. Those of us in the room who had been moms for more than a day locked eyes with one another and nodded knowingly. 

There will be times. Put the baby safely in her crib. Cool off for a few minutes. Then come back. 

One guest pressed in, “But how do you do it? I mean actually do it? How do you take care of yourself not just in the moment but for the long-term? How do you practice self-care when you’re a mom? I want to know the real, practical, actual steps.” 

Another mom continued, “Is self-care even okay? Is it selfish? I feel like I could literally harm my kids at times. Is it wrong to want to get away and calm down in the moment? Or what about for a longer amount of time, like a day hike by myself, or even a weekend away?” 

Is Self-Care Wrong for Christian Moms? 

Scripture is clear: we are to be “living sacrifices” (Romans 12:1). We know that Jesus says, "whoever loses their life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25). Paul calls us to be like Jesus in emptying ourselves out, to “value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4). 

The Christian way of life is unquestionably one of service. Is it wrong, then, for a Christian mom to care for herself? Is a little “me time” allowed? And if so, on what basis? 

We Are Finite  

You and I and every other human being are finite. We were made that way. Only our Creator God does not slumber or sleep (Psalm 121:4). Only God is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. 

We know from daily experience that we grow tired and weary. In the evenings our eyelids grow heavy and our bodies give out. God gave us the rhythms of day and night, that we might rest for a significant portion of every 24-hour cycle. He gave us the Sabbath that we might rest more deeply once a week. He designed us to rest. 

The psalmists point this out. One says, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8). Another says, God “grants sleep to those he loves” (Psalm 127:2). And of course Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). 

The Lord made us to need rest and he himself is the giver of rest. He has what we need. Embedded in our design is an admission of finiteness, an awareness that we cannot do it all on our own. He made us to reach out to him, to seek him, to find him. 

Broken Cisterns 

The world offers all kinds of solutions for our exhaustion. They range from harmless to potentially life-ending. 

Just more coffee. More me time. Aerobics class. A keto diet. Weekly massages. A luxury car to keep the noise out. Or a couple glasses of wine every night. Perhaps some prescription drugs. Or even more prescription drugs, abused daily. My own community bears witness to the destruction of drug and alcohol addictions amongst stay at home moms. 

When we come to the end of ourselves, when we are thirsty, we can grab a literal or proverbial drink from just about anywhere. And many of these “drinks” are not wrong, in and of themselves. Exercise and a healthy diet and even a luxury car are not sinful. Neither is a glass of wine. The question is what are we hoping to find at the bottom of the glass? What are we expecting these options to deliver? Where does our hope lie? 

In the Old Testament the prophet Jeremiah spoke on behalf of God, saying, “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jeremiah 2:13). 

The Israelites forsook the Lord their God and they dug their own cisterns. They turned away from their Maker, their Redeemer, the Lord who led them out of Egypt and made them his very own. Not only did they turn away from him, but they created their own cisterns. They pursued water to quench their thirst that did not come from the Lord. In their finiteness they did not rest in God. Rather, they created their own well, which proved broken, unable to deliver the satisfaction and rest they needed. 

They spurned their faithful God and they pursued their own means for refreshment. 

Living Water

Self-care—meaning an awareness of our finiteness and a desire to get needed rest—is not wrong. You and I can’t actually live without it. We are humans who get thirsty. The question is: where will we seek it? Where will we drink? Will we draw from our own wells, the broken cisterns of this world, glasses that don’t actually hold water? Or will we turn to our Creator who is himself Living Water? 

Jesus knows we are burdened and tired. That’s why he says, “Come to me” (Matthew 11:28). And he knows we are prone to seek refreshment in places that will not ultimately satisfy. 

Of the broken cisterns, of the worldly solutions, Jesus says, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again” (John 4:13).

But of himself Jesus says, “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14). 

Self-care, getting necessary rest and refreshment, is not wrong. In fact, it’s required. Not only that, but when we are refreshed by Christ, it is eternal. It’s a refreshment that lasts. Our ministry to others, our service to our families, the ways we love our neighbors, all require the fuel of Living Water. We need within ourselves a spring that wells up. With Jesus as not only our Savior, but also our life, our energy, the very power by which we operate, we can serve others in ways that are lasting and powerful. 

It is in Christ alone that we find real self-care. When you and I draw on Living Water, a spring wells up within us, allowing us to pour ourselves out. 

How Do We Drink Living Water? 

Jesus says to you and to me and to every exhausted mom who needs a moment to catch her breath, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water’” (John 7:37-38).

We are like rivers who are prone to drying up. We need Living Water constantly flowing into us, welling up, and flowing out of us. Real rest and refreshment can only be found in the God who made us. But how do we actually become conduits of the power and satisfaction of Jesus? 

Confess

First, we must confess that we are thirsty and we need him. Jesus says, “Abide in me and I in you…apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:4,5). We must confess our hunger and thirst and need for the Lord and he will meet us and fill us. Not only does he save us, but he inhabits us  and helps us all our days. 

Then, we must keep turning to him, drinking Living Water, every day, even every hour. We do that by pursuing activities and thoughts that draw us back to him over and over. These activities remind us of his goodness and grace and power. They refresh us and refuel us as we are reminded of his excellencies. 

Self-care, or ingesting Living Water, is best done by reading the Word of God, meeting with the people of God, and fellowshipping with the Spirit of God. 

The Word of God 

The psalmist calls on the Lord, “give me life according to your word” (Psalm 119:25). John 1:1 calls Jesus the Word. The author of Hebrews calls scripture “living and active” (Hebrews 4:12). Truly, there is life-giving power in simply reading or hearing or reciting or memorizing the Word of God. 

Some practical ideas to get the Word of God in you: 

Read the Bible each morning, or each nap-time, or at bedtime—daily intake is important and will deepen your joy. Depending on your season of life you can tackle a Bible-in-a-year reading plan, or just meditate on a paragraph or verse or two each day. Don’t get bogged down by how much, just get something in you. Listen to the Word with an audio Bible, or with scripture set to songs such as from the Seeds Family Worship or Scripture Lullabies. Put Bible verses on the mirror, the fridge, your coffee pot, the kids’ bedroom walls—surround yourself with reminders of the living truth. 

The People of God

Self-care is also provided sweetly by gathering with the saints, meaning other Christians. The author of Hebrews says we must commit to getting together so that we can encourage one another to be loving and to do good works (Hebrews 10:24-25). We need each other to “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Don’t pursue life as a lone-ranger Christian. I promise, that is a recipe for despair and a weak faith. 

Some practical ideas for meeting with the people of God: 

Make Sunday morning worship services and church membership a high priority. You can check your kids in to the nursery (it’s okay if they take some time to cry and adjust) or you can load up with snacks and treats and tricks to keep them happy in service with you. Do whatever it takes to get there. Join a women’s Bible study with childcare, hire a babysitter and go to a Bible study that doesn’t have childcare, join a small group, get a prayer partner, meet a Christian friend for coffee once a week and talk about how you sense God moving in your life. If you’re having trouble making fellowship happen, ask another woman in your church how she’s doing it and brainstorm with her. 

The Spirit of God 

John 14 reminds us the Holy Spirit is our helper, our comforter, our teacher. And, he lives in us (Romans 8:9). What a joy and source of confidence and strength—God lives inside of us, we who have surrounded to the Lord Jesus. But we are prone to ignoring him, living life in our own strength and power. Perhaps we feel bad about calling on him for such little nuisances. Or maybe we don’t really believe he can help. Or is it that we are afraid of his sanctifying power? I’m not sure what keeps you from abiding in the Holy Spirit, talking to him constantly, praising him, asking him for help—but his indwelling in us is an immeasurable gift! It is “him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). 

Some practical ideas for fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit:

Like the two areas above, how you go about this will be largely dependent on your stage of life and flexibility, but don’t neglect it! A primary way to spend time with the Spirit is in prayer. You can journal your prayers every morning or every night, or simply say them aloud before or after you read your Bible. You can pray in the shower, in the car, with your kids, with a prayer partner. Sometimes fellowshipping with the Spirit looks like just sitting still and being quiet. Maybe you need to plan a time and a place to simply be still: a monthly coffee date alone with your journal and your Bible and the Spirit, a hike, morning walks, evening walks after the kids are in bed, driving alone to the grocery store and leaving the radio off, stepping into the bathroom when your baby is in her highchair and begging the Spirit to walk with you in those moments. He is there—when you can, spend long stretches of intimate time with him, when you can’t, call on him and he will meet you in the moment by moment of each day.  

Self-Care is Holy Work When We Are Refreshed by Living Water 

Back to the baby shower advice. The guest who encouraged my daughter to take a break when she’s feeling overwhelmed by her baby, to put her in her crib and walk away for a moment of refreshment, was wise and right. We are not omnipotent. We need rest and renewal, especially when we’re exhausted and at the end of ourselves. 

To the guest who asked if self-care is okay for the Christian mom, I say a resounding yes, as long as our self-care is rooted in abiding in the Lord. We were made to need him. We will languish without his refreshment. 

And to the guest who said, but how do you do it, I say by drinking Living Water every time we’re thirsty, through the Word of God, the people of God, and the Spirit of God. And ho you manage to practice those three activities will evolve over time and ebb and flow with your changing family. 

The world offers many broken cisterns. Let’s reject each one. Instead, may we never forsake our God and may we drink deeply of the water that only Jesus gives. 

Posted at: https://www.jenoshman.com/jen-oshman-blog/2019/7/16/is-self-care-wrong-for-christian-moms

Gender Roles and the Single Woman

By Amber Komatsu

I remember the first time I ever heard someone preach on the biblical roles of men and women. Scripture was used to show how men are the loving leaders in their marriages and women are called to help and submit to the man’s leadership. To be honest, I just didn’t like the idea of it. “A woman is a submissive helper? Seriously!?” I was unmarried, and yet my heart was already keenly experiencing the desire against this, as foretold in Gen 3:16. I continued to understand these doctrines, became convinced through the study of the Word, and came to love and embrace the truth that men and women are equal in value but have different God-ordained roles in which they function. I saw being a helper for what it was, a glorious calling and task. However, as I sought to apply these truths to my life I became confused. Nearly every good article and resource I came across was written for married women. The married woman submits to her husband’s leadership (Eph. 5:22,24; Col. 3:18); the married woman is a helper to her husband (Gen. 2:18); the married woman wins her unbelieving husband without a word by her good conduct (I Peter 3:1); the married woman honors and doesn’t revile the Word of God by her good works (Titus 2:5). What of the single woman? What does this doctrine look like in the warp and woof of single life? In God’s sovereign hand, he gave me the gift of singleness longer than I had anticipated (the Lord brought me my wonderful husband Trevor at the age of 29) and while I greatly desired marriage, I also desired to continue to grow in holiness and obedience to Jesus during this time.

Fully Woman, Married or Single

As I lived year after year as a single woman, and saw many of my friends marry and have children, I began to feel as if I was missing out on spiritual growth and being complete as a woman. I felt that when the Bible spoke to women, it spoke primarily to women who played for “team marriage.” I wasn’t on the field just yet. My purpose in the Kingdom felt blurry. As I began to think through and understand Scripture, several truths became clear to me.

The single woman can practice being a helper in many different areas (Genesis 2:18) In Genesis 2, God created woman to be a helper to the man. This, of course, is in the context of being a helper fit for a husband. The single woman does not serve any one man, but she is still able to cultivate a heart that helps and serves. Sarah, a dear friend of mine, lives her life serving and helping her local church, families in her church, her boss at work, and her friends and family. In fact, whenever Sarah’s name is spoken by people who know her, it is always spoken with a smile and an acknowledgement that she excels in serving many.

The single woman can affirm and encourage male leadership (Genesis 2:15, I Cor. 14) Men should be leaders in the home and in the church. Single women have the chance to encourage this leadership by the way they interact with other men. Some practical ways to encourage male leadership are asking single brothers to lead in planning social gatherings, asking men who are present at meals to bless the meal, encouraging and thanking elders and deacons for their work in the church, and writing notes of encouragement to married couples and praising the Lord for the good leadership the husband is evidencing in his family.

The single woman can cultivate a posture of submission to her God-given authorities (I Cor. 14:34) A woman should cultivate a posture of submission in her singleness to her earthly authorities, whether her parents, a pastor, a boss, or anyone else in authority to her. A woman should do this for two reasons: First, Jesus commands it, and she’ll look more like Him in her obedience. This is valuable whether she is married at 21, at 71, or never. Second, when a single woman learns to submit to and honor authorities God has placed in her life, earthly marriage will simply be an easier transition than had she not.

The single woman can develop a gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4) A gentle and quiet spirit is not a gentle and quiet personality. It is very possible for a woman to have a gentle and quiet personality while her heart is raging with rebellion against God. A gentle and quiet spirit is a heart that rests and hopes in the Lord (Psalm 131:1-3). Peter says this is a beauty that is imperishable and is of great value to God. I always tell people that my 80 year old widowed grandmother is the most beautiful woman I know. She laughs and rejoices in life with her children and grandchildren, has a heart that loves to meet people and know them well, a heart that serves wherever and whenever she has the ability, she prays continually, and is the hardest working and most generous woman I know. Her heart is steadfastly resting and trusting in Jesus. Her beauty as a single widowed woman is of great value to God and it is imperishable.

The single woman can practice hospitality (I Timothy 5:10) Hospitality is a great gift that single women can give. For several years of my singleness, I lived with amazing sisters who practiced hospitality. It was not uncommon for our home to be a gathering place for meals, baby showers, birthday parties, missionary send-offs, hymn sings, and more. We welcomed over believers and unbelievers, small groups and large (once we had 65!). Opportunities for discipleship, encouragement, and evangelism abounded. We all grew during that time in understanding the importance of hospitality and that we could cultivate those gifts in our singleness.

The single woman can be an older woman to younger women (Titus 2:3-5) My friend Caitlin has one of the sharpest theological minds I have ever known and she has great gifts for teaching. She uses these gifts of knowledge and teaching in her singleness when she disciples other women, single and married. My friend Hannah has walked with friends of hers through very hard seasons. She has taught them what was good and how to walk in self-control and purity. These women are examples of what it looks like to be an older woman to younger women even in the midst of singleness.

The single woman can commend and honor marriage by rejoicing with those who are rejoicing in biblical marriage (Romans 12:15) This truth became a reality when my little sister got engaged at the age of 21. I was 28 with no prospects. I felt sin crouching like a lion, ready to attack; I could feel bitterness and envy creeping into my heart. During the months before her wedding I worked to repent and rejoice with my sister in her joy of marriage. The day of her wedding I was able to joyfully give a toast as her maid-of-honor. In retrospect, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I realized the grace the Lord worked in my heart, and was thrilled for the good gift of marriage given to my sister. She and her husband were now another living example to me of Christ and the church.

Singleness as a Signpost

The married woman is a signpost, reminding the church how to be Christ’s bride. The single woman can also become a similar reminder. By her gentle and quiet spirit, by her willingness to follow and submit to Godly authority, by her desire to be a helper and a servant in the church, she stands as a vibrant reminder, pointing to Christ and the church. The world may scoff at a woman clothed with such strength and dignity, but the bride of Christ will be strengthened and encouraged.

Amber Komatsu is the Membership Services Coordinator for ACBC. She is married to Trevor and is expecting their first child, Reuben.

Posted at: https://biblicalcounseling.com/gender-roles-and-the-single-woman-2/

Three Marks of Every Man and Woman of God

Colin Smith

In a previous article, I wrote that without Christ you were a lost and helpless and hopeless sinner. But now in Christ you are a new creation. God’s Spirit lives in you! 

You are God’s man, God’s woman. Be who you are. 

In this article, I want to give you three distinguishing marks of every man and woman of God. These were God’s words through Paul to Timothy, and so they apply to us today.

Three Distinguishing Marks of Every Man and Woman of God 

1. You have made a confession. 

Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:11-12)

Paul is pointing to a specific time, remembered by many people, when Timothy confessed faith in Jesus Christ. It seems most likely that this would have been his baptism. 

Since the day of Pentecost, Christian believers have confessed faith in Jesus through baptism, which is a sign and seal of our union with Christ. Scripture says: 

If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9) 

From the earliest times people made this confession at baptism: “Jesus is Lord.” Timothy had made this confession, and a large crowd of people had heard it. 

A Christian is a person who has reached a conclusion about Jesus Christ. Christians are in process about many things. We are in the process over holiness, repentance, spiritual growth, overcoming temptation, and prayer. 

But we are not in process over who Jesus is. We stand with Peter when he said to Jesus, “You are the Christ” (Matthew 16:16). We stand with Thomas when he bowed before Jesus and said, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28). And, we stand with the whole church in every place and every age, confessing that “Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:11).

If you are God’s man or God’s woman, you don’t start each day wondering who you are, why you are here, or who you belong to. You are Christ’s, united with him in his death and resurrection. You have made a confession. 

Have you made this confession? If you have, remember who you are: God’s man, God’s woman.  

2. You have embraced a calling. 

In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus… I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame… (1 Timothy 6:13-14) 

The command that Paul is referring to seems to be in verses 11 and 12: “There is character to pursue, a battle to fight, and a life to gain… But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” 

a. Character to pursue 

John Stott says that: “Endurance is patience in difficult circumstances. Gentleness is patience with difficult people.” [4] 

b. A battle to fight 

Fight the good fight of the faith (1 TImothy 6:12). 

The world will always reject Christ, and those who proclaim that “Christ is Lord” will always be in conflict with the unbelieving world. 

c. A life to gain 

Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses… (1 Timothy 6:12) 

Notice the language—pursue, fight, take hold. The Christian life will be a struggle. Calvin says that: 

Self indulgence springs from [the Christian’s] desire to serve Christ… as if it were a mere leisure activity. Christ calls [his servants]… to wage a war.[5] 

Where do you find the energy for this struggle? Sometimes it is hard to keep going—too many disappointments, too many unanswered prayers, too many failures. You feel run down and you get weary in the struggle. 

How do you find the strength to sustain the rigors and the demands of this Christian life? When Paul gives Timothy this charge, he says “in the sight of God, who gives life to everything” (v13). 

God will give you the energy you need for this. He gives you life. He sustains your life. And, he will give you strength for each day. Pursue your calling in the sight of the God who gives life. He will quicken you by His Spirit. As your days are, so shall your strength be. 

3. You anticipate Christ’s coming. 

Keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ… (1 Timothy 6:14) 

One day we are going to see Jesus Christ. He will appear. God will bring that day about “in his own time” (1 Timothy 6:15, NIV). The day will come when your faith will be turned to sight. This is an amazing promise. 

Then Paul reminds us that “God… lives in unapproachable light” (1 Timothy 6:16). God is not hidden in unapproachable darkness, but in unapproachable light. We are not alienated from God because He is obscured in darkness, but because he is inaccessible in light. 

Our problem is not that we can’t find God. It is that we couldn’t come near him if we did! All through the Bible, we find that man at his best is unable to stand in the presence of God: 

When Isaiah, the holiest man of his time, saw God’s glory fill the temple, he cried “Woe to me… I am ruined” (Isaiah 6:5). When John the Apostle saw the glory of the risen Christ, he “fell at his feet as though dead…” (Revelation 1:17). 

If the best of men in the Old and New Testaments are on their faces in the presence of God, how do you think it will be for us when the Son of God comes in his glory and all his holy angels with him? 

Thomas Blinney explains how we can abide in Christ’s presence when he comes:  

There is a way for man to rise   
To that sublime abode:  
An offering and a sacrifice,  
A Holy Spirit’s energies,  
An Advocate with God: 

He points to: 

• An offering: The Son of God loved us and gave Himself for us 

• A sacrifice: Christ bore our sins in His body on the tree 

• The Holy Spirit: uniting us with Christ through the bond of faith 

• The risen Christ: advocating for us in the presence of the Father 

Who We Are  

This is the life that we share together in the church: We share the same confession of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord. We share the same calling to pursue a holy life, to fight the good fight of faith, and to lay hold of the eternal life to which we have been called. We live in the same anticipation of Christ’s appearing and our entry into the glory of His presence 

Whatever you are facing in your life right now, here’s what you need to know. You are God’s man, God’s woman, bought by the precious blood of Christ, called to the blessing of life under the rule of God: The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who alone is immortal, who lives in unapproachable light, to whom be glory and might forever. Amen. 

Colin Smith is the senior pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near - So Far. Colin is the president and teacher for Unlocking the Bible. Follow him on Twitter.

Posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2019/05/three-marks-every-man-woman-god/

Delighting in Authority

Delighting in Authority: How to Create a Culture of Happy Complementarians

Article09.30.2016

If I were a man, I would be a church planter.

I’m a strong leader with the gifts and wiring essential to the call. I thrive when casting vision, making disciples, training leaders, preaching the Word, and evangelizing the lost. I’ve been “thinking in sermons” since I was fifteen. I can’t help but target potential leaders. I constantly wonder how to reach my community. It’s instinctive. When I hear a powerful sermon, I feel a compulsion to preach. When someone leaves the church, I can’t sleep at night. When I study a text, I obsess over theological clarity.

But I’m a woman—a woman who believes God has spoken authoritatively in his Word on all matters pertaining to life and godliness. A woman whose conscience is bound by the conviction that the authoritative teaching office of God’s covenant community is reserved for men. I’ll never plant a church as the lead pastor/elder[1] not because I’m incompetent or lack the desire but because I believe the Word speaks with authority on this issue, and I trust the God who authored it. In fact, I delight in the authority of the Word, my husband, and the local church. I’m convinced everything God ordains, including various spheres of authority, is the best possible plan for his glory and my good. I’m what you would call a happy complementarian.[2]

“COMING OUT” AS A HAPPY COMPLEMENTARIAN

Unfortunately, not everyone delights in God-ordained authority. On the one hand, pop-culture has done a fine job of convincing women that femininity and freedom can only be found in throwing off the patriarchal shackles of previous generations to discover our “true, empowered selves.” I’m told my feelings and desires are the ultimate source of authority. Even an unbeliever would encourage me to plant a church if that meant “following my heart.” Today in Portland, Oregon—where I live—to be a strong woman is to reject any limitations on what I can or should do.

On the other hand, some Christian sub-cultures (particularly strands of fundamentalism that uphold a view of complementarianism suspiciously close to subordination) have created miserable women who outwardly affirm complementarian convictions while inwardly despising authority. Some have tragically suffered spiritual abuse from leaders and no longer know how to distinguish godly authority from an ungodly authoritarian. Others feel so trapped by manmade traditions and superficial limitations that they become like caged animals provoked even by innocent bystanders. They’re the bristly ones who affirm male headship but are bitterly offended at the slightest talk of authority.

I want to reject both extremes, even if it invites disapproval. I’m tired of apologizing for being a strong female anda conservative complementarian. In one circle, I’m too educated, too theological, too opinionated, and ask too many questions. In another circle, I’m too conservative, too prudish, too restricted, and don’t speak enough.

It’s time for the church to create space in its local assemblies for strong females who happily affirm authority (e.g., male headship and eldership) while advocating for more opportunities for women to flourish according to their gifts and qualification. Imagine how the gospel could be displayed to the watching world if churches were filled with biblically-minded women who embraced God-ordained authority as a blessing rather than a burden? This counter-cultural impulse would offer continual opportunities to share the gospel with a world that’s desperate for truth.

HOW CAN PASTORS HELP FEMALE LEADERS DELIGHT IN AUTHORITY?

But how can you do this when the overwhelming voice of culture smacks of anti-authority sentiments? The ideas below are neither novel nor exhaustive, but they do come from someone whose entire life is and has been directly affected by her views on authority.

1. Cultivate A High View of God’s Word.

Any discussion on authority must begin and end with the Bible. To start anywhere else is to build your “theological house” on the sand. Too often, people will start with a John Piper sermon or a CBMW article without pushing women to grapple with the biblical texts themselves. But only the Word of God has the power to penetrate to our innermost being and shed light on areas we desperately try to hide—like our anti-authority predispositions.

It was a high view of God’s Word that brought me to my current convictions. Early in my Christian walk, I realized I had a dog in the “egalitarian versus complementarian” fight. I applied myself to the Scriptures, earnestly desiring to know what God said about leadership roles in the local church. I came to the conclusion that the authoritative teaching office of God’s covenant community throughout redemptive history has always been and should continue to be restricted to men (e.g., priests in the Old Testament, apostles during the Apostolic age, and elders in the New Covenant). And after coming to this conclusion, I felt joy! God gave me a clear conviction on this matter, and the issue has been settled ever since. My conscience is held captive to the Word of God. And to echo Luther, I believe to act against conscience is neither safe for me, nor open to me.

By constantly pointing to the Word, pastors can help women become the kind of people who are controlled by biblical conviction rather than personal preferences or pragmatism. Encourage them to search the Scriptures and see what God says about women in leadership. Discuss the central, debated texts and facilitate open dialogue. Create environments where women can ask questions as they wrestle with the issues. Help them think well about the Scriptures and be willing to graciously challenge any preconceived notions that may not be rooted in the Word. Ultimately, equip them to make informed decisions based on good exegesis that leads to God-glorifying convictions.

2. Cultivate A High View of Women.

From Genesis to Revelation, the testimony of Scripture is that both male and female are created beings invested with great dignity, value, and worth. And both are tasked with the awesome responsibility of making visible the invisible God through their work and service. The church should be the primary place where the glorious image of God is showcased through men and women carrying out the Great Commission together with mutual love and respect.

All too often, however, the church has devalued women by not providing provision for them to serve and flourish within their respective gifts. I see this regularly with women who have leadership and teaching ability. The church may have a strong position articulated on paper, but functionally they don’t know what to do with these women . . . so all to often they don’t do anything. This isn’t necessarily malicious or calculated; I think it’s just the state of affairs in conservative churches today—but it’s one in need of continual reformation. As a female gifted to lead, I can tell you it’s not helpful (in fact, it’s confusing) to form a theology of women in leadership that never gets implemented.

I have been in churches (large “progressive” churches) where my husband and I agreed with everything on paper, but I wasn’t actually allowed to do anything within my gift set. It turned out a young woman without kids could never teach women. This reveals a low view of women that’s too pervasive in many conservative complementarian churches. Women are an essential part of the body, gifted by the Spirit to serve the church, and they should be encouraged to minister in all the ways the Bible permits.

Part of good, God-ordained male leadership is creating environments in which women feel valued, protected, and encouraged to serve in the ways God has wired them. Show women you value them by forming a robust, biblical theology of women in leadership and then actually implementing it. Here are a few suggestions:

• Provide opportunities for aspiring female teachers to get proper training so they can teach and preach the Scriptures to other women well. Perhaps consider one of these Simeon Trust workshops for women.

• Offer seminary-like classes on basic Bible, theology, and spiritual formation for your women.

• Give the women’s Bible study team time each semester to go over the curriculum and help them teach it well.

• Invite feedback from women on your sermons, on the worship, on the formation of small groups, and on the Sunday School classes.

• Ask women how you could better serve them in the way you preach, pray, and lead. After all, on average half of your congregation are women so wouldn’t it be helpful to get insight into the spiritual needs of your women . . . from a woman?

• Have women do things like serve communion, pray, read Scripture, or share their testimonies from the front. I cannot tell you how encouraging it is when I visit a church and hear a woman pray or read Scripture. It communicates volumes to the women sitting in your pews.

• Periodically ask yourself, “Are the women in my congregation flourishing? Are they being provided various opportunities to serve? Are they being treated as co-heirs of eternal life and partners in ministry?”

Every one of these points comes from the practice of my local church, a conservative, Bible-teaching, gospel-centered, Baptist church. I recently told my pastor I would be complementarian wherever I go because my conscience is bound to biblical convictions, but he sure does make it easier for me to be a happy complementarian!

I’ve been a Christian for fifteen years, and this is one of the first churches where the lead pastor has made me feel like a blessing rather than a burden for being a theologically-minded woman. That’s fifteen years of struggling to find my place in the local church because I was made to feel like a burden for the way God wired me. I’m not entertaining self-pity here, but I do think that’s sad.

I believe many women would be more willing to graciously embrace male authority in the church if they felt valued by the male leadership and given opportunities to serve Jesus in meaningful ways. Pastors, I urge you to use your God-ordained authority to help female leaders to flourish in your church. Make authority a pleasant experience for them.

HOW CAN FEMALE LEADERS HELP PASTORS DELIGHT IN AUTHORITY?

Part of being a “happy” complementarian is helping facilitate a culture in which male leaders find joy in leading us. We should (along with all believers) submit to authority in a way that helps leaders care for our souls “with joy and not groaning” (Heb. 13:17).

I’ll be the first to confess I haven’t always done this well. I can’t imagine how much “groaning” I’ve caused my pastors in the past. But, through much repentance and grace, I’m growing. Here are helpful suggestions I’ve learned along the way, primarily through my own sin and short-comings:

• Give others a “category” for you. Oftentimes, people just aren’t sure what to do with strong, theologically-minded women. Graciously help them see that you’re a woman who loves Jesus, delights in male authority, and desires to teach the Bible to other women.

• Speak highly of the male leadership in your church and home (if married). One of the most harmful things a woman can do is publicly criticize her pastor or husband. If we truly delight in male headship, our words should reflect it.

• Look for ways to encourage your pastors and elders. For example, tell them when a sermon was especially helpful or mention specific ways you’re praying for them.

• Thank your leadership for the current opportunities women are given to serve the church. Let them know it doesn’t go unnoticed.

• Be quick to communicate and slow to assume. Communicate that you have a passion for teaching women the Bible rather than assuming leadership knows and is intentionally withholding the role from you. A lot of hurt feelings are built upon false assumptions.

• Ask if there is or will ever be provision to serve within your gifts. Display a willingness to be trained and equipped accordingly. Show your pastor(s) that you’re also willing to serve outside of your gifts in order to help the church.

Ladies, let’s make authority a pleasant experience for the men in leadership over us by being a blessing to the body. May our words, actions, and attitudes help them view their God-ordained role as a delight.

FINDING FREEDOM WITHIN LIMITATIONS

The Psalmist declares, “I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free” (Ps. 119:32).

This reflects my heart on the issue of authority. Years ago, I bowed before God’s infinite wisdom on the matter of women in leadership and discovered the path beneath my feet was broadened. There’s a delightful freedom to be experienced when one accepts God-given boundaries. My conscience is clear, my convictions are firm, and my ministry is meaningful.

I’m not sad that I’m not and couldn’t be a church planter or lead pastor. I don’t feel restricted or resentful. Instead, I feel full. Submitting to the authority of God’s Word, specifically as it plays out in the local church, has freed me to run in the path of God’s commands. I have found great freedom within authority.

What about you?

FOOTNOTES:

[1] This truth doesn’t mean women cannot be involved in church plants. Of course they can. They should be! A well-rounded planting team would include trained, equipped women in the core group. I’m speaking to the lead, authoritative role as the church planter.

[2] A complementarian holds the theological view that men and women are created equal in dignity, value, and worth but hold differing, complimentary roles in marriage, family, and the local church.

By Whitney Woollard

Posted at: https://www.9marks.org/article/delighting-in-authority-how-to-create-a-culture-of-happy-complementarians/

Is There Any Hope for Weary Women?

Article by Kimberly Wagner

As I’ve been teaching the book of James to a small group of women on Sunday afternoons, they’ve asked some good questions, and I thought you might like to “get in on” the discussion. I’m so grateful for the women who are digging into the Word with me. These questions surfaced from our focus on James 1:1–12 if you want to read that first for some context.   

Question:

What does steadfast and faithful look like? 

My Response:

Steadfastness is the goal. Steadfastness is produced through our faith being tested and through suffering (James 1:3, Romans 5:3)—neither of which sound like much fun. But the appeal of steadfastness is the glory of reaching a place of victory. Steadfastness is a consistent and joyful endurance that is otherworldly, even supernatural, because it is not something we can produce. Steadfastness is only developed by the grace of God in the crucible of affliction. 

Steadfastness is not an emotional “happiness” or optimistic outlook on dark days. It is not a “Pollyanna” cheerfulness produced from a “name it and claim it” theology or a self-induced positive attitude. Steadfastness is produced through a series of hard falls and failures—but failures followed by repentance and crying out for God’s grace; asking for His help. Steadfastness is the goal. We obtain steadfastness through a long trajectory of pressing on toward that goal, while slogging through seasons of doubt and questioning, but always returning to the source of Truth for help.

Pressing toward steadfastness will definitely include days of weariness, discouragement, self-disgust, doubt, with personal disappointment and embarrassment.

Yes, striving toward steadfastness will include moments, and possibly seasons of doubt—struggling with our view of God, fighting to find a resolution to the crisis of faith we might experience when the crushing blows we receive don’t make sense, when God seems distant and the cruelties of life feel greater than His care for us. But the believer will despair if he stays in that state. That is why James implores us to ask for wisdom; wisdom that is specifically designed for navigating a season of suffering (James 1:5). 

Question:

If I grow weary does that mean that I’m not steadfast?

Does being “steadfast” mean never doubting in weariness?

Never questioning the accuracy of one’s understanding of God or His ways?

Never being in need of encouragement? No feebleness allowed? Only perfection? 

My Response:

James does not say that we won’t doubt, but he provides a compelling contrast between those who endure hardship, in faith, and those who experience the instability and tumultuous consequences of doubt. For the believer, there is usually a mixture of faith and doubt while navigating the rough waters of affliction (James 1:6–8). But the goal is steadfastness. With each test, we have the opportunity to press in to truth, to ask for, and choose, faith. We have the opportunity to trust God in greater ways than before. We have the opportunity to move closer to a consistent walk of steadfastness.   

The Lord knows that we’ll struggle with doubt, that is why the Spirit inspired James to warn us that we need to “ask in faith” and we need God’s grace for that faith. We need His help. We cannot produce the wisdom or the faith to steadfastly endure trials. We need to ask Him for those things. 

The weary believer definitely needs encouragement during seasons of trial. Definitely. I’ve been blessed, this past year and a half, by a friend who is younger than me, but her husband is experiencing a similar trial, and her texts, that are filled with Scripture or words of encouragement letting me know that they are praying for us, have been a true source of comfort. The unexpected gifts of groceries, gift cards, financial donations, and firewood on the porch have been an immeasurable blessing and tangible encouragement.

LeRoy and I have experienced the ministry of encouragement in our difficult season, but sadly, many in the church don’t see the need to personally encourage those who are drowning under what some might consider less “acceptable” struggles—like mental illness, suicidal thoughts, or recurring addictions. 

Some want to avoid the hurting person entirely or approach the broken and needy with the cold message of “Just get it together!” Some preach a “just have faith” message, without compassion or understanding that the road of suffering is hard—no matter how spiritually mature you are, or how much you’re seeking to honor God in the trial. Suffering is hard. And some in the church apparently deny that, or haven’t experienced that kind of real suffering. 

In this life, a believer never reaches the place that they no longer need comfort or encouragement.

The “perfection” of a flawless performance during trial is an unlikely and unrealistic expectation.

But the “perfection” of endurance/steadfastness that produces spiritual maturity is the goal. And along the way of reaching that goal will come failures. These failures are evidence that we need to ask for grace again, we need to ask for help, we need to acknowledge that “faith to endure” and “wisdom in trial”, are things that don’t come naturally. 

Steadfastness can certainly involve reaching out for resources and help—and that might include counseling, or regular conversations with a more mature believer—and that is nothing to be ashamed of. The humble admission that you are in need, is evidence that you desire to continue pressing on in faithfulness—you don’t want to stay in your needy state. Reaching out for help, and having the body walk with the hurting, is the DNA of a healthy Church (Galatians 6:2). We are to bear one another’s burdens, and not look at a broken or needy sister in disgust with the message to “Just grow up!” Feebleness is allowed, even expected, when facing a brutal trial.

Question:

What’s the line between faithfulness and unfaithfulness, steadfastness and non steadfast? 

My Response:

I don’t think we have Scriptural evidence for a distinct and clear line that we can draw between faithfulness and unfaithfulness—unless that line would be rejecting God’s truth. But, even in seeking to know if there is a line, indicates your desire to know and understand God’s ways, rather than just all out rejecting Him. And the contrast between steadfastness and “non steadfastness” is not so much a line, but a process that will, at times, include both. If this year, I’m striving to “walk with endurance” and respond to this trial with steadfastness, but I’m not actually as faithful or consistent as I will be next year . . . does that mean that I’m not steadfast right now? Am I more steadfast now than I was at this time last year while walking through the same trial? 

There will be bumps and falls along the way, but what is your trajectory? Are you continuing to cry out to God for help to walk faithfully . . . and steadfastly? That might be the “line” you’re talking about. The line of willingness to ask God for help, rather than trying to manage it on your own.

Question:

Is there even hope for one who is profoundly weary, re-evaluating her understanding of God and His ways, desperately in need of encouragement (all of which seems to be the antithesis of faithfulness/steadfast) to be deemed faithful?

My Response:

There is hope. Oh, precious friend, yes—there is hope! The hope is found in viewing our suffering through the lens of the cross. The cross provides us with the perspective to endure, to develop steadfastness, to experience a fellowship with Christ that is only possible in trial. 

Far too often, I’m guilty of presenting a simplistic picture of what it looks like to follow Christ or to walk by faith. I fear that, as I attempt to communicate the majestic truths of Scripture, there is no nuance or consideration of the enormous trials or difficulties that another woman may be facing. And she is left feeling hopeless and that she could never approach the life of faithfulness that Scripture presents. If that is you today, dear reader, know that He sees, He knows, and He cares. He sees your pain and struggle, He understands that you are weak and needy, He remembers that we are but flesh, and He cares for you. 

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.” (1 Peter 4:12–13)

Posted at: http://www.kimberlywagner.org/?p=7428

You Are Not Your Own

Article by Jon Bloom

Your body does not belong to you. Do you believe this? I don’t mean doctrinallybelieve it — if you’re a Christian, you of course believe that “you are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19). I mean do you functionally believe this?

It’s not difficult to tell. How you use your body reveals what you believe. It canbe difficult to admit, if we feel exposed by our functional belief. Believe me, I know. I have plenty of functional beliefs that fall short of my official beliefs, in varying degrees at varying times.

“In what part of your life have you functionally forgot that you belong to Jesus?”

The question isn’t an exercise in shaming — for you or for me. It’s an exercise in honest assessment, in reality therapy, and, if needed, in repentance. Which, for Christians, should be just a normal, everyday experience. As Martin Luther famously said, “When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said ‘Repent,’ he intended that the entire life of believers should be repentance.”

Falling Forward Together

All of us fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). None of us has arrived (Philippians 3:12–13). God knows this far better than we do, and he’s made abundant provision for our shortfalls. Each time we repent — each day, even each hour — Jesus’s substitutionary, atoning death for us cleanses us from allunrighteousness (1 John 1:9). God wants us to live condemnation-free (Romans 8:1) by taking full advantage of his endless supply of forgiving, restoring, encouraging, and empowering grace.

Since all of us redeemed short-fallers are in this fight of faith together, we can keep encouraging and exhorting one another every day to press on towards the Great Goal (Philippians 3:14), so that none of us becomes hardened in deceitful, habitual sin (Hebrews 3:13).

With God’s wonderful grace in mind, we can take a good, honest look at ourselves and ask: do we really believe that we are not our own?

Do You Not Know?

Let’s look at these Spirit-inspired, Paul-authored words in context:

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19–20)

When Paul asked “do you not know,” he was addressing Christians. And he asked the Corinthian Christians this question a lot in this letter (1 Corinthians 3:16; 5:6; 6:2–3, 9, 15–16, 19; 9:13, 24). Now, some Corinthians were probably new believers and perhaps didn’t know. But Paul’s phrasing of the question makes it clear that he was giving a firm reminder to most readers who doctrinally knew, but whose behaviors revealed that they functionally forgot.

More poignantly, they were living in functional unbelief, which was real sin and required real repentance. They knew, and they didn’t.

Who Owns Your Body?

In 1 Corinthians 6:19, Paul was specifically addressing sexual immorality among believers. Just like our society, the Corinthian society had a lot of available, accessible, culturally acceptable, and even encouraged ways to immorally indulge sexually. Very likely, many Corinthian Christians had backgrounds rife with immorality. They had habits of thinking and behaving sexually that still affected and tempted them as Christians. Some, apparently, had been repeatedly “falling short.”

“Our Master bought us with the price of his own infinitely precious life in order to make us free.”

More than this, they were actually rationalizing it with a common adage, “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food” (1 Corinthians 6:13). In other words, Look, if the body has an appetite for food, we feed it. So, if the body has an appetite for sex, we should “feed” it. Besides, we’re free! Jesus’s sacrifice made all things lawful!(1 Corinthians 6:12).

Paul responded with a frank correction: “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body” (1 Corinthians 6:13). When we become Christians, our bodies become members or appendages of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 6:15–17). And the very Spirit of Christ dwells in our bodies as the Spirit used to dwell in Jerusalem’s temple (1 Corinthians 6:19). Implication: every sexually immoral behavior a Christian engages in drags the Lord Jesus Christ into that engagement.

That’s why sexual sin, in particular, is a sin against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18). In Christianity, there is no bifurcation of body and spirit. Both make up the human being. To defile one is to defile the other. Both our bodies and spirits, though still vulnerable to sin and the futile suffering of this age while we wait for our full redemption (Romans 8:23), are nevertheless being redeemed by Jesus and will be raised (1 Corinthians 6:14). So, our bodies must not be given over to sin’s governance (Romans 6:12), because our bodies do not belong to us.

You Were Bought

But is this how we live? Do we knowingly behave with our bodies as if Christ is engaged in our physical actions — all of them? Or do we not (functionally) know?

“Gracious as he is, Jesus must still be our Master, which means we must obey him.”

In describing the ways we are not our own, Paul used the metaphors of a bodily member, which does the will of the head; then a bodily temple, which is animated by the divine Spirit who lives there; then a bond-slave, who does the will of his Master. That’s what Paul meant when he wrote, “for you were bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20).

A bond-slave is not his own person. He has sold himself to someone else. He belongs to someone else. He does not merely do as he pleases. His time is not his own. He is not free to follow the whims of his personal dreams. He is not free to indulge the craving of his appetites as he wishes. He is not his own. He belongs to his Master. This is what a Christian is.

Freed at Great Cost

This bond-slavery of a Christian, however, is like no other — far better than any alternative of autonomy. Our Master bought us with the price of his own infinitely precious life in order to make us “free indeed” (John 8:32–36). What does that mean? It means when he bought us, he freed us from our hell-bound slavery to sin (Romans 6:6). He also bought for us the priceless gift of being adopted by the Father as his very children, which makes us heirs with Jesus of his Father’s kingdom and of infinite wealth (Romans 8:16–17). If that wasn’t enough, Jesus, our Master, both now and in the age to come, serves us beyond our wildest imaginations (Mark 10:45; Luke 12:37).

But, gracious as he is, Jesus must still be our Master, which means we must obey him (John 14:15). For our master is whomever or whatever we obey (Romans 6:16).

As Christians, we know this. The question is, do we really know? Is Jesus the Master over our time, expenditures, investments, home size and location, education, career, marital status, parenting, friendships, church involvement, and ministry commitments? If not, we do not (functionally) know what we think we know.

Glorify God in Your Body

We need good, honest self-assessment. What is the Spirit bringing to mind right now? In what part of your life have you functionally forgotten, or better functionally not believed, that you belong to Jesus? What are you stewarding as if it is yours and not God’s? Follow the Spirit’s lead and repent. Your gracious Lord and Master stands with scarred arms wide open to receive, forgive, and cleanse you.

“You and I are not our own. We are Christ’s.”

You and I are not our own. We are Christ’s (1 Corinthians 3:23). In every sense, we are Christ’s — body, mind, and spirit. We are members of Christ’s body, our bodies are Christ’s temple, and we are bond-slaves of Christ, who has made us children of his Father and fellow heirs of his estate — what a Master!

He is only, however, the Master of those who obey him. That’s why it’s crucial that our functional knowing aligns with our doctrinal knowing. Or as Paul said, “You are not your own. . . . So glorify God in your body.”

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-are-not-your-own