A Word to Men Who Demean Their Wives

Interview with John Piper

Audio Transcript

This is an important and too-common theme in our inbox: men belittling women as inferior, perhaps in the name of complementarity even. I see this too often in the inbox and we haven’t covered it yet. I wish we didn’t have to address it, but we do.

“Dear Pastor John, my husband and I have been married for nearly thirty years. He’s grown convinced that there is something wrong with me. I’m a Christian and have been since I was 10 years old. He is also convinced that God sees me as subservient to him, and in every way. Tonight, I asked him if he believes women are subservient to men in creation, and he answered without a hesitation, ‘Yes.’ He has always treated me like he is superior to me in every way. The way he treats me is very hurtful, and I don’t think I can continue to go on with his angry, aggressive spirit. When he gets angry with me about anything, he locks me out of the bedroom and out of our house. I literally want to run away. I despise this life. Please help encourage wives who are treated as inferior!”

Perhaps it will be of some help — I hope so — if I explain from a biblical standpoint five sinful, damaging mistakes this man is making, and which he should be held accountable for. She doesn’t say if he claims to be a Christian or not. He certainly is not acting like one. But some man or men need to step into his life and call him to account for these five sins.

Self at the Center

Now, before I mention the five sinful and damaging mistakes he’s making, let me go behind them to something deeper, because there’s always something deeper than the principles from which we behave. He clearly has some principles from which he is behaving, and it is clear that behind them is something deeper; namely, he is in significant bondage to the root sin of selfishness and pride. He himself occupies such a central place in his own preferences that he cannot see or feel the beauty of getting outside himself and finding joy in living for the good and gladness of another person.

Now, there’s a fancy name for this today; it’s called narcissism. He is so fixated on himself, and his pleasures, and his privileges, and his rights, that counting another person more significant than himself is literally inconceivable. Philippians 2:3 says we are to “count others more significant than yourselves.” If you were to speak those words to him, they would be like a foreign language. They would not even connect. They would be like wind blowing in the curtains.

So, there’s the root. The biblical word is sin, not narcissism. That’s the new, fancy word. It may or may not be helpful. But the biblical words are solid and forever: sin and pride and self-exaltation. Until God breaks in and reveals to this man the deep ugliness of his soul, so that he weeps and weeps with conviction and contrition that are not intended to manipulate anything or anybody, these five sinful traits that I’m going to talk about probably won’t change. That’s the miracle that we have to pray toward. Every Christian has experienced this miracle. It’s called the new birth, and God can cause it in the worst of sinners. So, that’s the direction I pray for.

Here are my five sinful, damaging mistakes he’s making.

1. Women are not subservient to men.

He thinks there is, in creation — that is, the way the world is made — a built-in subservience for women. She says, “Tonight I asked him if he believes women are subservient to men in creation, and he answered without hesitation, ‘Yes.’”

Now, I am assuming from the word subservient and from the fruit of this man’s conviction that what he sees in creation is very different from what creation actually teaches. If we go to Genesis 2–3 and watch creation unfold sequentially after the foundational statement in Genesis 1:27, that men and women are created equally in God’s image, here is what we see. (And there are more. I’m just summing up a few.)

1. Man was created first and given the instructions for life in the garden, so that by God’s design, he has a kind of unique responsibility that will be unlike his wife’s responsibility.

2. God says in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So, woman is created — unlike the animals — from Adam’s side: “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). Man and woman are deeply alike, and yet so wonderfully different. Woman is called “a helper fit for him” — that is, suitable, completing, complementing. That is, by the way, where the word complementarian originated: from that word fit or suitable or complementary in Genesis 2.

3. The tempter came, and the man failed to take the responsibility God had given him. You can see that in Genesis 3:6: “The woman . . . took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” These are crucial words in verse 6: “. . . who was with her, and he ate.” In other words, he was there falling right into line with the devil’s assault on God’s wise and good order by being silent when the enemy was attacking his wife.

4. Sin ravages the beautiful relationship that God has created, this complementary relationship. Sin ravages that relationship, and you see it because the man blames the woman and says, “Look, if you’re going to punish somebody, punish her because you gave her to me and she tempted me” (see Genesis 3:12). In other words, God is really the problem here. It’s a devastating description of the ravages of the fall in human relationships and divine relationships.

So, what creation teaches is that man was designed to be thrilled by his partner-helper. Paul calls her man’s “glory” in 1 Corinthians 11:7. The man gladly bears a unique responsibility to take a special initiative to protect her. Who was superior to whom and on what counts was irrelevant for the central issue of love and protection. They were in God’s image and perfectly suited to each other’s fruitfulness and joy. They were naked and not ashamed. They did not shame each other. The fact that they were profoundly the same and wonderfully different in God’s design caused no shame. So, this husband that we were just being asked about has deeply misread creation. That’s sinful mistake number one.

2. Differences do not downgrade value.

His second sinful mistake is to infer from creation a built-in superior-inferior relationship. She says, “He has always treated me like he is superior to me in every way.” He is saying that men are superior; women are inferior. And she says this is “in every way.” There are two kinds of mistakes here, and they’re both serious.

One is to fail to distinguish whether the words superior and inferior refer to greater or lesser value. He doesn’t even address that. Does he even have such a thing in mind?

And the other is to fail to distinguish capacities and competencies in which women are, in general, superior to men, and competencies and capacities in which men are, in general, superior to women. And those differences do not imply greater or lesser value in personhood — who you are in God’s image. So, this husband is sinfully inferring an undifferentiated superiority for men — for himself in particular — that does not exist.

3. The Bible calls husbands to honor their wives, not demean them.

The third sinful mistake he makes is by inferring from his superior-inferior paradigm for men and women that he may therefore rightly treat his wife in demeaning ways. So, he moves from misreading creation to misconceiving the meaning of superiority and inferiority to justifying demeaning behavior. This is evil at several levels. I’ll just mention one.

In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter says, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [literally: according to knowledge], showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.”

And here’s the point this man is totally missing: even when one focuses on an area where women are weaker, the biblical, Christian response of a husband is not demeaning, but honoring. There’s the catch. This is a deep, profound, serious thing he’s blind to. In the way 1 Peter 3:7 is structured, you have the central term, “showing honor,” and on one side of it is “woman as the weaker vessel,” and on the other side is woman as “heirs with you of the grace of life.” Which means that this man is utterly oblivious to this: Whether you focus on any particular weakness or on the fact that both men and women are destined for glory, the call is the same: honor, honor, honor — not shame, shame, shame. The call is to honor, not demean, and he can’t see it.

4. Anger and aggression contradict God’s design.

His fourth sinful mistake is that he lives now with anger and aggressiveness. This is his prison cell. Given what he sees and feels, anger is inevitable. He’s living outside of God’s good design, and the inevitable dissonance causes continual aggravation.

James says something that applies to everyone, including this husband: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Oh, my goodness — what an important text for marriage.

5. God will not tolerate bullies.

The result of living in the bondage of sin and delusion is acting like a jailer. Let me just make sure you heard the paradox there: the result of being in bondage to sin makes him act like a jailer, to hide the fact that he’s in jail. He has become a childish bully, locking her out of the bedroom and the house.

This is pathetic. It’s like a child throwing a tantrum, only he’s bigger now, so instead of running into his bedroom and slamming the door against his parents, he can run in and lock her out.

Seek Help

Now, she didn’t ask me for any counsel; she just wanted me to say something that might be helpful in general when women are dealing with a man like this. But let me go ahead and say what I think. I’m assuming there hasn’t been physical abuse. She didn’t say that. And the reason I’m telling you that is because what I’m about to say would be different if there were. In other words, if he is brutalizing her, then she is, I think, obliged — rightly and legally — to go to the police and to the ways that the arm of our government has set for helping women or men deal with that kind of brutality.

But short of that, she should be stepping forward — and I do hope she’s in a church where this is possible. I hope she can go to trusted elders, tell them her situation, and ask for them to intervene. I think it’s part of the elders’ job at a church to step into the lives of the sheep — men and women — and to be a part of their protective shield, and to give them guidance and wisdom for how to move forward.

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What Does Paul Mean When He Says, “Act Like Men”?

Wyatt Graham

At the end of his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul exhorts the church to, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Cor 16:13). In particular, the phrase “act like men” has led many to assert that the apostle makes a positive case for acting in a masculine manner.

This misconstrues the phrase’s meaning. The phrase “act like men” translates a single Greek word (ἀνδρίζομαι) which means to act in a courageous and virtuous manner. To understand the meaning of the verb translated above as “act like men,” we can refer to its dictionary definition, its use in contemporary sources, and its contextual meaning in 1 Corinthians. 

Dictionary DefinitionA standard New Testament Greek dictionary, BDAG, provides the translational gloss for ἀνδρίζομαι as “conduct oneself in a courageous way” (s.v. ἀνδρίζομαι, 76).

BDAG’s definitional gloss shows how the word was used during the era of the New Testament. Its earlier use in classical literature as well its later use during a sort of classical renaissance (4th ce.) had a more direct masculine tilt (the verb relates to the word “male,” ἀνήρ). 

BrillDAG a dictionary that supplies classical Greek definitions provides a number of glosses such as “to cause to become a man, make strong” or “to reach manhood, maturity.” Other uses include “to act as a man, behave manfully” or “to wear men’s clothing” (s.v. ἀνδρίζω) In these cases, the direct meaning “act as a man” exists alongside the metaphorical meaning of “make strong.”

Part of the difficulty with defining ἀνδρίζομαι is that in philosophical discussions during the centuries before Christ “to be manly” became synonomous with “to be virtuous.” This sort of use can be seen in the contemporary word virtue which comes from the Latin word vir, which means “man.”  Yet when this term for virtue or courage becomes applied generically or to both sexes, it takes its obviously metaphorical meaning: to be courageous or virtuous. 

Contemporary Use

Polycarp during his martyrdom (early 100s) is reported to have heard a voice say to him: “be strong, and show yourself to be a man [ἀνδρίζου]” (MPoly 9). During the 90s,

Hermas could apply this term to both a man (VHermas 3.12.2) or to a woman (3.8.4). In this sense, the word “act courageously” has masculine overtones but can likewise be applied to women since it carries a universally applicable attribute: namely, courage or virtue. 

Contextual Meaning

In first Corinthians 16:13, Paul addresses the church of Corinth which comprises both men and women as earlier passages in 1 Corinthians  make clear (e.g., 1 Cor 14:34). The resurrection destiny of all Christians into the image of the man Jesus Christ also applies to both men and women in Corinth (1 Cor 15). There is not then any obvious hint that Paul somehow specifies only men in 1 Corinthians 16. Added to that, the whole sequence of commands link together:

“Watch, stand in the faith, take courage, be strong” (my trans.) and likely the next verse also should be included: “Let all of your activity be done in love” (v. 14). None of this sounds specifically made for men since all should stand in the faith or act in love (cf. 1 Cor 13).

What I think clinches the inclusive sense of the command is Paul’s use of an Old Testament idiom to wait, to be strong and to be courageous (2 Sam 10:12; Ps 27:14; 31:24; BDAG lists these). It is worth quoting a couple of these passages to illustrate the point:

Psalm 27:14: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

Psalm 31:24: Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

Paul seems to pull on this classical idiom to encourage faithfulness in 1 Corinthians 16:13:

“Watch, stand in the faith, take courage, be strong.”

If anyone still doubts, we only need to look to the Greek translation of the Hebrew of Psalm 27 which uses the verb ἀνδρίζου to translate the Hebrew term for “courage” (אמץ). The exact same thing is true in Psalm 31:24 which uses ἀνδρίζεσθε.

In Hebrew, the word “courage” (אמץ) does not carry the connotations of masculinity like the Greek term ἀνδρίζομαι can. Hence, the Greek translators of the Old Testament which Paul mainly cites have used ἀνδρίζομαι in its normal metaphorical sense. And it is almost certain that Paul did too. 

Conclusion

Paul’s likely use of an Old Testament idiom to a mixed audience should make it clear that “act like a man” is an imperfect translation. Or more accurately, it would be incorrect to use this translation to mean to act in some distinctively masculine way to the exception of some feminine way of acting. If by acting manly, someone means act courageously, then such a translation would work. Yet almost nobody today in North America would understand this translation with that sense. Hence, to use “act like a man” in translation could unintentionally lead someone to mistake the meaning of the text. Granted, Christian leaders can and should explain the meaning of the passage in context which mitigates this possibility. Still, some emphasize the assumption that this passage denotes masculinity in contrast to femininity as such. It does not. Instead, it encourages all of us to act like the saints of Old—to stand firm in our faith, wait for the Lord and be strong and courageous as the Lord told Joshua before he entered the land by faith (Josh 1:9). 

Posted at: http://wyattgraham.com/what-does-paul-mean-when-he-says-act-like-men/

Three Marks of Every Man and Woman of God

Colin Smith

In a previous article, I wrote that without Christ you were a lost and helpless and hopeless sinner. But now in Christ you are a new creation. God’s Spirit lives in you! 

You are God’s man, God’s woman. Be who you are. 

In this article, I want to give you three distinguishing marks of every man and woman of God. These were God’s words through Paul to Timothy, and so they apply to us today.

Three Distinguishing Marks of Every Man and Woman of God 

1. You have made a confession. 

Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Timothy 6:11-12)

Paul is pointing to a specific time, remembered by many people, when Timothy confessed faith in Jesus Christ. It seems most likely that this would have been his baptism. 

Since the day of Pentecost, Christian believers have confessed faith in Jesus through baptism, which is a sign and seal of our union with Christ. Scripture says: 

If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9) 

From the earliest times people made this confession at baptism: “Jesus is Lord.” Timothy had made this confession, and a large crowd of people had heard it. 

A Christian is a person who has reached a conclusion about Jesus Christ. Christians are in process about many things. We are in the process over holiness, repentance, spiritual growth, overcoming temptation, and prayer. 

But we are not in process over who Jesus is. We stand with Peter when he said to Jesus, “You are the Christ” (Matthew 16:16). We stand with Thomas when he bowed before Jesus and said, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28). And, we stand with the whole church in every place and every age, confessing that “Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:11).

If you are God’s man or God’s woman, you don’t start each day wondering who you are, why you are here, or who you belong to. You are Christ’s, united with him in his death and resurrection. You have made a confession. 

Have you made this confession? If you have, remember who you are: God’s man, God’s woman.  

2. You have embraced a calling. 

In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus… I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame… (1 Timothy 6:13-14) 

The command that Paul is referring to seems to be in verses 11 and 12: “There is character to pursue, a battle to fight, and a life to gain… But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” 

a. Character to pursue 

John Stott says that: “Endurance is patience in difficult circumstances. Gentleness is patience with difficult people.” [4] 

b. A battle to fight 

Fight the good fight of the faith (1 TImothy 6:12). 

The world will always reject Christ, and those who proclaim that “Christ is Lord” will always be in conflict with the unbelieving world. 

c. A life to gain 

Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses… (1 Timothy 6:12) 

Notice the language—pursue, fight, take hold. The Christian life will be a struggle. Calvin says that: 

Self indulgence springs from [the Christian’s] desire to serve Christ… as if it were a mere leisure activity. Christ calls [his servants]… to wage a war.[5] 

Where do you find the energy for this struggle? Sometimes it is hard to keep going—too many disappointments, too many unanswered prayers, too many failures. You feel run down and you get weary in the struggle. 

How do you find the strength to sustain the rigors and the demands of this Christian life? When Paul gives Timothy this charge, he says “in the sight of God, who gives life to everything” (v13). 

God will give you the energy you need for this. He gives you life. He sustains your life. And, he will give you strength for each day. Pursue your calling in the sight of the God who gives life. He will quicken you by His Spirit. As your days are, so shall your strength be. 

3. You anticipate Christ’s coming. 

Keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ… (1 Timothy 6:14) 

One day we are going to see Jesus Christ. He will appear. God will bring that day about “in his own time” (1 Timothy 6:15, NIV). The day will come when your faith will be turned to sight. This is an amazing promise. 

Then Paul reminds us that “God… lives in unapproachable light” (1 Timothy 6:16). God is not hidden in unapproachable darkness, but in unapproachable light. We are not alienated from God because He is obscured in darkness, but because he is inaccessible in light. 

Our problem is not that we can’t find God. It is that we couldn’t come near him if we did! All through the Bible, we find that man at his best is unable to stand in the presence of God: 

When Isaiah, the holiest man of his time, saw God’s glory fill the temple, he cried “Woe to me… I am ruined” (Isaiah 6:5). When John the Apostle saw the glory of the risen Christ, he “fell at his feet as though dead…” (Revelation 1:17). 

If the best of men in the Old and New Testaments are on their faces in the presence of God, how do you think it will be for us when the Son of God comes in his glory and all his holy angels with him? 

Thomas Blinney explains how we can abide in Christ’s presence when he comes:  

There is a way for man to rise   
To that sublime abode:  
An offering and a sacrifice,  
A Holy Spirit’s energies,  
An Advocate with God: 

He points to: 

• An offering: The Son of God loved us and gave Himself for us 

• A sacrifice: Christ bore our sins in His body on the tree 

• The Holy Spirit: uniting us with Christ through the bond of faith 

• The risen Christ: advocating for us in the presence of the Father 

Who We Are  

This is the life that we share together in the church: We share the same confession of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord. We share the same calling to pursue a holy life, to fight the good fight of faith, and to lay hold of the eternal life to which we have been called. We live in the same anticipation of Christ’s appearing and our entry into the glory of His presence 

Whatever you are facing in your life right now, here’s what you need to know. You are God’s man, God’s woman, bought by the precious blood of Christ, called to the blessing of life under the rule of God: The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who alone is immortal, who lives in unapproachable light, to whom be glory and might forever. Amen. 

Colin Smith is the senior pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near - So Far. Colin is the president and teacher for Unlocking the Bible. Follow him on Twitter.

Posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2019/05/three-marks-every-man-woman-god/

Grooming the Next Generation

Article by Greg Morse

The American Psychological Association recently contributed its thoughts on traditional masculinity, telling us that it’s mainly a semi-harmful social construct. This week, Gillette has added its two cents on “toxic” masculinity in a now-viral advertisement. The main point: men must hold other men accountable “in ways big and small,” especially as it pertains to sexual harassment and bullying. This is important because, apart from the incentive of selling shaving products, the boys watching today will be the men of tomorrow.

Backlash has ensued. The commercial has almost half a million likes with twice as many dislikes. Many decry the characterization that men today are sexual harassers who sit around at barbecues and let kids beat each other up, mumbling between beers that “boys will be boys.” The commercial, some say, promotes a view that all men are rapists and bullies.

Others heard it as yet another call to be less rugged, more domesticated, more conceding to the feminism of our time. Another attempt to paint us as unstable in order to take away sharp objects. The virtue that men and women have equal value has devolved into the vice that pretends men and women are the same.

But many embrace the message because it calls out a strain of men that do exist in our society — brutes who use their strength and power toward corrupt ends. Whether that end entails touching a female inappropriately or harassing someone smaller, God’s people — like God himself —will confront such violence and abuse.

Narrowly speaking, the message that seeks to protect our women and children deserves our hearty amen, regardless of whether Balaam speaks it. We too stand firmly, unequivocally against that imposter called brutality. But this is one perversion today that is profitable to stand publicly against. Another distortion, less financially beneficial, has slipped quietly under the radar.

When Men Wore Pants

This less-popular strain of toxic masculinity was documented a decade ago by Dockers in its Man-ifesto campaign. Its commercial, worth quoting in full, reads as follows:

Once upon a time, men wore the pants, and wore them well. Women rarely had to open doors, and little old ladies never crossed the street alone. Men took charge because that’s what they did. But somewhere along the way, the world decided it no longer needed men. Disco by disco, latte by foamy non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny.

It continues,

But today, there are questions our genderless society has no answers for. The world sits idly by, and cities crumble, children misbehave, and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street. For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes. We need grown-ups. We need men to put down the plastic fork, step away from the salad bar, and untie the world from the tracks of complacency. It’s time to get your hands dirty. It’s time to answer the call of manhood. It’s time to wear the pants.

The pants company rightly observes that cities crumble without men living as men. We need heroes that do not beat up those they swore to protect, and heroes who are willing to take off their superman pajamas, put down their frothy drinks, and act more like Clark Kent — the very thing our sexless society is trying to make harder than ever.

Too often we swing from decrying chauvinism and abuse to producing a society of plastic forks, non-fat lattes, and men who don’t mind going to church because of the free babysitting. When our children look at men today — the kind in television shows, homes, and the classroom — what do they see? What is this masculinity of tomorrow we are all concerned with?

Manicured Manhood

Just having returned from a visit to “the greatest place on earth,” my wife and I were shocked at how many men boldly acted like women. Lispy sentences, light gestures, soft mannerisms, and flamboyant jokes were everywhere to be seen — on display for a park flooded with children. No hiding it. No shame. No apologizing. This perversion of masculinity warranted no commercials.

Instead, our society celebrates what Paul calls literally “soft men” (Greek malakoi), a group that will not enter the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9). And discomfort at this will-not-inherit-the-kingdom version of manliness is exactly a symptom of what the APA finds malignant in traditional manhood. But as much as the APA and LGBTQs protest it as hate speech, the effeminate shall not enter the kingdom of God, and it is unloving not to say so.

While men who brutalize and manipulate represent one form of perversion (the kind companies now put their dollars into supporting), men who sit passive, complacent, spiritually and emotionally frail, represent another. So also do men who rebel against their sex by acting like women. And too many classrooms that celebrate this perversion act as accomplices to confusing the boys (and girls) of today. Paul commands all men, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13), and offers them the hope of the gospel that they too might be “washed, sanctified, and justified, in the name of Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

David Mathis rightly tells us that the strongest men are gentle. But do not hear him saying that godly men are soft, fragile, weak, or effeminate. They do not faint in the day of adversity. They dress for war every day against forces of evil. They are sacrificial initiators, not limp deferrers. Men who charge against enemy gates, leading from the front, and refusing to take cover behind their wives and children. They lead. They protect. They initiate. They love. They sacrifice. They work. They worship. They are men.

When Men Killed Dragons

Godly men are neither severe nor effeminate. They have a sword, but use it against the dragon, not the princess in the castle. They are safe to those God calls them to protect, dangerous to the flesh and the kingdom of darkness. They have more to do than restrain themselves; they live for the glory of God. They mount their horse, gird up their loins, and “ride out for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness” (Psalm 45:4). And their General, instead of handing them plastic forks, “trains their hands for war that their arms might bend a bow of bronze” (2 Samuel 22:35).

They are like Moses, not Pharoah. They do not lord their power in hopes of cowardly self-preservation. They stand against an empire with the Lord over all empires, calling for tyrants to heed the God of heaven and earth. They are assertive and yet comprise the meekest men on the planet. They make unpopular decisions, meet regularly with their God, and constantly insist, “Thus saith the Lord.”

They are like David, not Saul. They do not hide when duty calls. They gladly go into battle, when others will not, in the venture of their God’s fame. They kill tens of thousands of sins, and fight the more fearful enemy than Goliath. They dress in armor too big for them: God’s (Ephesians 6:13). They know much warfare and yet can testify that God’s gentleness makes them great (2 Samuel 22:36). Battle-tested, yet they may give themselves to things such as poetry. And should they ever shirk their duty and do wickedly, they repent before God and trust in his mercy and steadfast love to restore them.

The Best a Man Can Get

Such men are like Jesus, not the world’s soft-serve substitute. The smiley, flowy-haired, manicured Jesus is an idol. The Jesus of the Bible is the King of kings and the Lord of lords, who will return with a sword in his mouth and heaven’s army in his wake. He is the thrice holy man of war, the great redeemer, the sinner’s friend, who calls all to repentance, faith, and obedience. Vengeance is his; he will repay.

And yet, he also calls children to himself. He washes disciples’ feet. He speaks gracious words to the oppressed, champions the widow’s cause, and calls the contrite near. A bruised reed he does not break, and a faintly burning wick he does not snuff. Tough, yet tender.

Satan hates such biblical masculinity. He pressures men like never before to apologize for being what God has made him. He hands him androgyny, effeminacy, passivity, pornography, plastic forks, and salad plates. He calls it a social construct and sends the Delilah of feminism to strip him of his passion, ambition, and strength, laughing as men ache while watching Braveheart. But while he hates that God made them both male and female (Genesis 1:27), we can show the world the best a man can get: gentleness and strength, holy compassion and holy aggression. In a word, Christ.

Greg Morse is a staff writer for desiringGod.org and graduate of Bethlehem College & Seminary. He and his wife, Abigail, live in St. Paul.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/grooming-the-next-generation?fbclid=IwAR1Y7Pd_atLlJVozHhGvPIr6zSN8DXLelxrHWdaFvZe2cHuwTiXRHpXwX5k