Questions For Discerning a Child's Profession of Faith

Article by Jill Nelson

Children are amazing sponges and excellent mimics. They have the God-given ability to soak up and recall an enormous amount of information. They also are, to a lesser or greater extent, attentive observers who will act out and imitate our words, demeanor, and actions.

This provides Christian parents and teachers with a great opportunity, challenge, and caution when it comes to nurturing our children and students toward genuine faith in Christ. During their young years, we should take the opportunity to pour biblical truth into their lives — acquainting them with the Scriptures which are able to make them wise for salvation in Christ (2 Tim. 3:15). We must gently challenge and implore them to respond to these truths with heart-felt trust and devotion. But we must also be discerning in how they respond: are they simply affirming truths or embracing Christ as Savior and Lord? Are they simply mimicking Christian responses that they have seen and heard? Are they simply trying to please their parents and teachers? Therein lies the caution.

One thing that is sure and unshakable: God is ultimate in a child’s salvation. His sovereign grace will have the final say, not our efforts nor a child’s immature mind and heart. But we can better serve our children and students by applying wise discernment when we share the gospel with them.

In his excellent book, The Faith of a Child: A Step-By-Step Guide to Salvation for Your Child, pastor Art Murphy gives some questions for helping us discern a child’s profession of faith. Here are a few of them,

Can the child explain in his or her own words the basics of becoming a Christian? When explaining how one becomes a Christian, does the child use “good works” answers such as “going to church, reading the Bible, getting baptized, praying, being good,” etc.? Or do his answers mention his need for forgiveness?

Does the child have an affection for Jesus or a strong desire to be close to Him? Does he show a passion to follow Jesus or just a basic knowledge of the facts about Him?

Does the child demonstrate a personal need or desire to repent of his sin? Is the child ashamed of the sin in his life? Knowing what sin is, is not the same as being ashamed of sin. If a child is not repentant but goes ahead and makes a decision to become a Christian, then his decision is premature and incomplete.

Listen to how he talks about salvation. Is there an urgency on his part? Does he have a personal desire to talk about salvation?

Does the child demonstrate a personal desire to make this commitment with his life, or is he just being agreeable with those around him who want him to become a Christian?

Is this a way of getting some undivided attention or public recognition?

What influenced him most to make this choice?

Has his decision come after realizing how much he needs and wants Jesus in his life? (pp. 73-78)

Again, our child’s or student’s ability to fully communicate or articulate conversion is not ultimate in salvation — God is. But these questions are helpful reminders for parents and teachers to pray for and apply great wisdom when our children and students express a desire to repent and believe the good news of the gospel.

Parents, we’ve developed Helping Children to Understand the Gospel, a concise, helpful booklet to use with your children. It includes a 10-week family devotional to help you explain the Gospel to your children, and explores the following topics: preparing the hearts of children to hear the Gospel, discerning stages of spiritual growth, communicating the essential truths of the Gospel, and presenting the Gospel in an accurate and child-friendly manner.

The Joy of Overlooking an Offense

Article by Scotty Smith Pastor, Franklin, Tennessee

My wife and I just returned from an awesome eight-night holiday in one of our favorite spots in the world — the little village of Iseltwald, nestled on the Lake of Brienz, ten kilometers from Interlaken, Switzerland. No place makes me happier and hungrier for the life we’ll enjoy in the new heaven and new earth.

But as wonderful as it was to celebrate my wife’s “39th birthday” in Switzerland (we’ve been married 46 years), there were moments when the brokenness of my attitude contradicted the beauty of the Alps.

When Life Gets Very Irritating

My capacity for aggravation and irritability and resentment followed me onto our flight to Zurich and then into different scenarios in the land of yodeling and chocolate. What does a follower of Jesus do when:

• Fellow travelers put their oversized carry-on luggage in the overhead bin directly over your assigned seat?

• Flight attendants seem to enjoy attending to the needs of those all around you, but treat you as invisible passengers?

• Free Wi-Fi on your flight faithfully delivers “feedback” emails including “constructive criticism” about your last sermon and preaching attire, your “redneck” sounding accent, and your lack of late-night accessibility?

• Robust young men on a packed bus don’t offer your back-pained wife a seat?

• By happenstance, you run into an old friend in the high-elevation village of Mürren, who mentions the name of another college friend — a friend who has caused you the yet-to-be-healed pain of betrayal?

• A hotel reservation you made months ago, for your last night in Switzerland, suddenly disappears, though you have four confirmation letters, and you have to scramble to rebook in a region of sold-out hotels?

Indeed, what should a follower of Jesus do in response to everything from normal life-in-a-fallen-world brokenness, to encounters with irritating people and provoking circumstances, to intentional insults and mean-spirited slights?

The good news is that the gospel doesn’t make us less human, but more human. As followers of Jesus, we experience the full range of disappointments and emotions common to all image bearers of God. But, by God’s grace, we can learn to steward them rather than live as slaves to them. We can learn to respond as redemptively as possible, as opposed to reacting selfishly and self-righteously. And we can actually find joy when we “overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).

Five Happy Reasons to Overlook an Offense

Joy in overlooking offenses? Yes. Joy from what? Let’s look at five things the Bible says can give us joy if we’re willing to receive them.

But first, let’s be clear: overlooking an offense must not be confused with submitting to abusive people or morally and ethically unacceptable circumstances. Jesus calls us to be foot washers, not doormats.

However, there are at least five reasons that joy is found in overlooking an offense.

1. Gospel Sensibilities

When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that we’re growing gospel sensibilities and tasting true glory. The Bible says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11). The shorter our anger-fuse, the quicker we’ll take offense at anything and anyone. “Good sense” is gospel sense.

The more the truth of the gospel renews our minds and shapes our perspective, the quicker and easier we’ll overlook stuff. We’ll care more about honoring Jesus by our reactions to irritating people and aggravating circumstances and give up on the illusion of having a hassle-free, painless life. There is tremendous joy in caring more about God’s glory than our own reputation, convenience, and rights. God will always be most glorified in us when we are most satisfied, joyful, at peace, and free in him.

2. Owning Our Sin

When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that we’re starting to acknowledge our own sin. We begin to believe that the log in our eye is a bigger issue than the speck in anyone else’s eye (Matthew 5:38–42). The freest, most joyful Christians I know are the quickest repenters. It’s not that they have less to repent of; they’re just faster at owning their sin, humbling themselves, and resting in Jesus.

As the gospel moves us from Satan’s condemnation into the Spirit’s conviction, we become more aware that we need the grace of God as much as anyone who sins against us, and there’s tremendous joy associated with that kind of humility. We take less offense and extend more grace; we are more patient and less petty; we are getting better at waiting than whining. We’re more realistic about life among ordinary sinners who, like us, love poorly — and wiser about what to take seriously, and what to completely ignore.

3. God’s Spirit at Work

When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that God’s grace and Spirit are becoming more operative, transforming powers in our lives. As Christians, we are called to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). Growth in grace results in our getting to know Jesus better, who desires that we will have the fullness of his joy in us (John 15:11).

And as we surrender to the work of the Spirit in our lives, he grows a vibrant crop of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, [and] self-control” — the very anti-fruit of an easily offended spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). The Holy Spirit also leads us into a greater experience of our sonship (Romans 8:15–17), which gives us even greater joy in seeing our Father at work in all things for our good — even in the most off-putting, irritating, and offensive scenarios (Romans 8:28). God never promised to do all things easy but all things well.

4. Freedom from Approval Seeking

When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that we’re gaining freedom from living as approval seekers. Christians are a people whose joy need not be connected to what others think and say about us, or how they relate and react to us. As Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”

To fear people isn’t so much to be afraid of them, but to esteem their approval too much. We look either to God or to people as the fountain and fuel of our joy. People always make poor saviors. We can’t freely or joyfully love anyone whom we’ve given the power to either shame us or exalt us.

5. Forgiving as the Forgiven

When we overlook an offense, we can rejoice that we’re getting better at forgiving others as we’ve been forgiven in Christ. There is no greater non sequitur in the entire universe, or the history of mankind, than for those of us who have been forgiven all our sins — every sinful thought, word, and deed — to withhold forgiveness from others (Matthew 18:21–35).

It was our Father’s kindness that led (and still leads) us to repentance (Romans 2:4). So where do we think our rigid, easily offended, keeping-record-of-wrongs attitudes will lead people? As Paul wrote, we are to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Our joy in forgiving others is directly connected to the unspeakable, glorious joy of God’s forgiveness of us and his great delight in us.

Scotty Smith (@ScottyWardSmith) is the founding pastor of Christ Community Church in Franklin, Tennessee.

posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-joy-of-overlooking-an-offense?fbclid=IwAR0oYxyt8JPzAxL94lZDTjFAGVqB-yGmpJDW1cbkjah4YgGNndjACq898Qo

The Ultimate X-Ray

Article by Paul David Tripp

Have you ever had the painful experience of breaking a bone? Perhaps even more distressing is having to watch a young child break a bone.

As somewhat educated human beings, we’re able to understand why our bodies ache and what the doctors are trying to accomplish. Even if we don’t have a medical degree, we have a foundational awareness of the healing process.

For a young child, however, the physical pain might compound itself with the pain of confusion and unfamiliarity. “Why does my body feel this way? How long will this pain last? What is this machine they’re putting me through? Why are they putting a hard cast on my body?”

In the same way, many of us struggle with confusion and unfamiliarity when we experience spiritual pain. Regardless of age or length of time walking with the Lord, recognizing, accepting, and then rejoicing over uncomfortable, violent grace is unnatural.

What is uncomfortable, violent grace? David writes about it in Psalm 51:8 - “Let the bones that you have broken rejoice.” It’s a curious phrase. Crushed bones and rejoicing don’t seem to go together. We surely don’t celebrate when we break our bodies.

But David is using the agony of broken bones as a metaphor for the anguish of heart he feels when he sees his sin for what it is. That uncomfortable, violent pain is a good thing.

The physical ache of an actual broken bone is worth being thankful for because it’s a warning sign something is wrong in that arm or leg. In the same way, God’s loving hammer of conviction is meant to break your heart, and the pain of heart you feel is intended to alert you to the fact that something is spiritually wrong inside you. Like the warning signal of physical pain, the rescuing and restoring pain of convicting grace is a thing worth celebrating.

We all have a stubborn capacity to be comfortable with what God says is wrong, so God blesses us with uncomfortable, violent grace. Yes, he loves us enough to crush us, so that we would feel the pain of our sin and run to him for forgiveness and deliverance.

Just like young children need to be taught about the anatomy of their body, the role of a doctor, and the purpose of an X-ray when they have broken a bone, we would do well to remind ourselves of the theology of uncomfortable, violent grace.

Our relationship with the Lord is never anything other than a relationship of grace. It’s grace that brought us into his family, it’s grace that keeps us in it, and it’s grace that will continue us in it forever.

But the grace God lavishes is not always comfortable.

God’s grace isn’t always comfortable because he isn’t primarily working on our comfort; he’s working on our character. With loving violence, he will crush us because he loves us and is committed to our restoration, deliverance, and refinement.

That’s something worth celebrating.

God bless

Paul David Tripp

Reflection Questions

1. Are you allowing yourself to grow comfortable with something that God says is wrong? What justifications are you making in your heart or mind to permit yourself to be okay with that sin?
2. What evidence can you find - both in the Bible and from everyday life - to remind yourself that staying inside God’s wise boundaries is the safest place to be?
3. Is there a place in your life where you have been tempted to doubt God’s love because you are experiencing the pain of his rescuing and restoring grace? Why should you thank him for uncomfortable, violent grace?
4. How can you lovingly and graciously remind others of God’s uncomfortable, violent grace that rescues us from us?

Article posted at pauldavidtripp.com

The Danger of Forgiving Yourself

Article by Rick Thomas

Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into the Christian’s understanding of sanctification. It’s the idea of self-forgiveness. “You just need to forgive yourself” is a standard way this secular doctrine is put forth within the Christian community.

Whose Blood is Sufficient?

Typically a person who believes he needs to forgive himself has sinned in some way–hence the need for forgiveness. All sin requires forgiveness to be free from it (Romans 10:13; 1 John 1:7-10). The need for forgiveness is a straight-forward Christian doctrine: I sin; I need forgiveness.

The problem arises when the person seeking forgiveness is not seeking forgiveness from God, or from God alone. He is looking for something more–something in addition to God’s forgiveness; he wants to be self-forgiving. Though he may know God will forgive him of his sins, he also believes self-forgiveness is required.

“Yes, God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself for what I did” is a typical response.

Though this should be a self-evident heresy that distorts the gospel by adding to the forgiveness we receive from God alone, through Christ alone, based on the Bible alone, it is not with many Christians. Unknowingly, these self-forgiving people are adding to the gospel (Galatians 1:8-9). It is like placing the blood of the lamb above the doorpost along with your blood too–a dangerous teaching (Exodus 12:7).

• Christ Forgiving + Self-Forgiving = Heresy
• Christ Forgiving + My Acceptance of His Forgiveness = Gospel

The reason the perfect Lamb of God came to earth was to save us from our sins (John 1:29). Christ’s redemption is a major plank in the gospel platform. Sin separates people from Christ, and if they are going to be redeemed, God in the flesh must do it (Ephesians 2:1-9).

Jesus did come and became a man, lived perfectly, died on the cross, and rose from the grave to not only conquer our sin but to provide a means to free sinner-man from it.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. – Ephesians 1:7

If sinner-man could forgive himself, he would not need a perfect sacrifice. If an imperfect sacrifice would do, who needs Christ? How convenient: I can sin, forgive myself of my sin, and be free from my sin. I can live in a hermetically sealed self-made redemptive world.

The Bible teaches that only Christ can forgive us of our sins because we cannot forgive ourselves from the sins we commit against an infinite, holy, almighty, and sovereign Lord. There is no biblical basis for this.

Lingering Feelings of Conviction

The person who is struggling with self-forgiveness has committed some sin. They have transgressed God’s moral law and are feeling bad about what they did.

This feeling is called conviction from the Spirit of God, which is a good thing. Whenever we sin, there should be an appropriate and accompanying conviction. To feel bad about wrongs committed is a kindness from the Lord.

Imagine being able to sin, but not able to know, discern, or sense it. It would be like slicing your hand open and not feeling the pain. Pain in such an instance is a mercy from the Lord. Spiritual conviction is similar to physical discomfort. It gives us the opportunity to respond to God, receive His forgiveness, and move on in the freedom that the power of the gospel offers (Galatians 5:1).

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:8-9

In some cases with some Christians, they have a difficult time receiving and resting in God’s full forgiveness. They may even ask God to forgive them multiple times, but the lingering residual feeling of conviction remains. This feeling is a false sense of guilt that is not resting in the transformative power of the gospel.

Their lack of gospel trust disables them from fully appropriating the undeserved favor He provides. These unbelieving Christians (Mark 9:24) continue to struggle with ongoing issues like guilt, remorse, shame, and embarrassment.

Their self-imposed guilt may even drive them to isolate from others by hiding the real truth about what is going on. Like their predecessor Adam, they cover themselves with fig leaves.

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. – Genesis 3:7

Hiding unresolved guilt issues complicates the original sin with other sins they pursue to find relief from the guilt. Rather than running to God, they entangle themselves in a godless orbit of temptations that pushes them into a spiral of self-perpetuating dysfunction.

The Self-Esteem Gospel

The full power of the gospel becomes marginalized in their lives because their view of themselves, God, and His gospel is limited and smallish. This is what connects them to the self-esteem movement, a person who spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about themselves rather than God (Philippians 2:3-5).

• Self-esteem teaches us to think highly of ourselves. Christianity teaches us to think highly of others.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be all you can be. Christianity teaches us to make others great.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be independent. Christianity teaches us to be interdependent.
• Self-esteem teaches us to be competitive. Christianity teaches us to be other-centered.
• Self-esteem teaches us not to be self-critical. Christianity teaches us to own our depravity.

The self-esteem movement is counter-productive to the Christian way of thinking. It leads to more and more introspection and individualism, which has an incarcerating effect on the mind.

Can anyone spend more time thinking about themselves, and feel better about themselves because of their introspective reflections? The gospel frees us from ourselves while motivating us to spend more time focusing on God and others.

The self-forgiver is intuitively self-focused. All he can think about is what he did and how bad he feels about what he did and how God would never forgive such an awful person. Self-esteem makes man and his problems big and God and His power small.

Looking Down on Yourself

The Bible category for self-esteem is self-righteousness.

Let me illustrate: Imagine a person being two people. Let’s say the person is me. In this illustration, I am person A, and I am person B. I am representing both people. Now, let’s say, person A commits adultery and person B, which is also me, is in disbelief over what person A did. In other words, I am shocked at what I did.

Dear God, I can’t believe I did that.

In addition to being shocked, I am embarrassed, angry, frustrated, confused, and ashamed of what I did. My self-esteem gospel tells me to think highly of myself (person B), but my reality tells me that I have a problem (person A). I’m in a tailspin. Why?

Self-esteem says, “I am somebody. I am great. I can do all things.”

Bible says, “I am a sinner, totally depraved, and capable of many other things that are worse than this.”

Only a person with a high view of himself would be shocked at what he did: “It is so bad that I can’t get over it.” No Christian should be surprised or shocked when he sins. Though you are a saint, you also choose to sin on occasion.

We are fallen people, living in a fallen world, and at times we are tempted to yield to the temptation to sin–a sad fact of life. If you regularly imbibe on the counter-productive self-esteem model, you will always be shrinking into a person who finds it hard to accept your sinfulness.

While you continually stroke yourself upward through the maintenance of your high thoughts about yourself, you will also be confronted by the sin you commit. Your mind will be like a roller coaster of bad thoughts (James 1:5-8).

The self-esteem model teaches a person to ignore weaknesses and wrongs. Thus, when the inevitability of our Adamic tendencies come to roost, you will be surprised, shocked, disbelieving, and discouraged.

The Christian’s counter to this worldview is to regularly soak in the Scripture’s view that we are saints who sin. This view will prepare you to deal with the reality of who you are before God and others.

Though you will experience guilt and conviction after you sin, your actions will not throw you into a ditch by your actions. You will be able to fast track to the only one who can fully and freely forgive you.

The Bible does not have a high view of humans. In fact, the Bible has an extremely low view of who we are and what we are capable of doing. Whenever the Bible talks about our propensities outside of the grace of God, its view of man is low–even pronouncing eternal torment on those who reject God. (See Romans 3:10-12; Revelation 20:15)

Needing More Than Christ

Self-esteem (biblically defined as self-righteousness) can only lead to one conclusion: You have to go outside the biblical boundaries for a solution. Thus, the self-esteemer can never be free.

He will live with the ongoing residual effect of guilt and shame because of his unwillingness to embrace a sober assessment of who he  is–a born again sinner. The battles of guilt and shame that reject the gospel’s cure will always motivate other measures like self-forgiveness.

I asked Christ to forgive me, and I believe He did, but I still struggle with what I did, so I just need to forgive myself.

If you have a hard time embracing your sins or accepting the poor view of yourself that your sins affirm, you will have a hard time accepting a gospel cleanse. Christ came for sinners, not people who can’t believe they did such a thing or won’t own the truth about their sinful actions (Luke 5:32).

The Price of Forgiveness

All sin is against God, and only God can forgive sin. Let me illustrate by giving you a truth and an analogy.

Truth: The person sinned against (the Lord) is the one who determines the price to be paid to cover the offense.

Analogy: If you cause a car accident, you are not the one who determines what you are going to pay to make amends for your mistake. The insurance company assesses the damages and lets you know what the cost will be.

This analogy is proximate to how forgiveness works with God. He is always the one who determines what it will take to cover the offense–not you, the offender.

The Lord made that decision a long time ago when He sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for our sins (John 1:29, 3:7, 3:16). You or I do not tell God that we need a greater sacrifice for the sins we commit.

Imagine a friend paying for your meal at a restaurant. Though you appreciate it, you decide to also pay for the meal–in addition to his payment. There is no need for you to pay for something that has already been paid for, and there is no need for you to forgive yourself after God has forgiven you. The real question is, “Can you rest in His forgiveness?”

Call to Action

The gospel came to take care of your sin problems because you could not. Your job should be simple: apply the gospel to your life. You must ask, receive, and apply God’s forgiveness to your life. Then rest in His gospel goodness.

If you are like me, a person who can become overly shocked by personal sin, maybe you need to repent of self-righteousness. Sometimes I forget how Jesus is enough for all my sin. How about you?

1. Are you able to rest in God’s forgiveness?
2. Why do you feel the need to forgive yourself when infinite God gave you an infinite gift to pay for your infinite offense against Him? What can you add to infinity?
3. What is going on in your thinking that hinders you from trusting and resting in the Lord?
4. Will you talk to someone about those things?

Article posted at:  https://www.printfriendly.com/p/g/t7kFKB

The Gospel in Six Truths

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you — unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures. (1 Corinthians 15:1–4)

Here are six elements I see in that text on the gospel. If any one of these six is missing, we have no gospel.

1. The gospel is a divine plan. “Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures,” which were written hundreds of years before Christ died (1 Corinthians 15:3). This means God had a plan, and if he didn’t, we have no gospel — it was just a fluke of history. But it’s all written down in the Old Testament, hundreds of years before it happened, and Paul says that’s essential.

2. The gospel is not only a plan of God; it is a historical event. Christ died. Christ rose again. If that did not happen historically, so that you can see it with your physical eyes, we have no gospel. A lot of modern people try to demythologize this and just turn it into ideas. It’s not an idea. Jesus ate fish after the resurrection.

3. The gospel is a divine achievement through that event of suffering and resurrection. By achievement I mean things like he died for our sins, which we see at the end of verse 3. Christ died for our sins. There’s a design in it. There’s an accomplishment. Something is achieved in this death. It’s not a random death. God has a design. He’s accomplishing something through the historical event like:

• covering our sins (Colossians 2:14),
• removing God’s wrath (Romans 8:3),
• and purchasing eternal life (John 3:16).

These are objective achievements of an objective event, which are true whether you come into existence two thousand years later or not. This is what it means that salvation is extra nos. It’s out there. God did it in history. It’s there, it’s done, and then I get born two thousand years later.

4. The gospel is a free offer of Christ for faith, not works. Christ is offered to you for faith alone. “The gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you — unless you believed in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:1–2). Note the two words receive and believe, just like in John 1:12: “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” That’s what it is to receive the gospel. You can’t work for this. It is based on Christ alone. It is external, outside of you — achieved and accomplished two thousand years ago.

Now you’re born. You hear that news. What do you do? I’m going to start working for God so I can impress him with how morally worthy I am. You’re not, and you never get there that way. You receive it. You believe it. You embrace Jesus as your Treasure and your Lord and your Savior from all that you need saving from, and you are then saved forever. It’s an awesome gospel.

5. The gospel is an application of the achievements accomplished in history to your heart when you believe. Forgiveness of sins was purchased once and applied now. All your sins are forgiven when you believe. Justification: You aren’t justified when Jesus died. You’re justified when you believe, when it becomes yours. Then the purchase of the justification and the performance of the righteousness two thousand years ago is applied. That’s why I’m using the word application. It’s applied to you. Or eternal life: You didn’t have eternal life when Jesus died. You have eternal life when you believe. And then what he bought out there, what he wrought out there, becomes yours through the connection with Jesus through faith. So the gospel is the application to believers of all that he purchased and achieved two thousand years ago.

6. The gospel is the enjoyment of fellowship with God himself. Now if you ask, “Where do you see that?” Well, I see it outside 1 Corinthians 15:1–3, but where I see it inside this text is in the word gospel. Gospel means good news, right? So you have to ask what’s good about the good news? And if you stop after “My sins are forgiven” or “I’m vindicated in the court and can go free and I have life forever,” and don’t even mention God, that’s serious.

Do you know why you’re forgiven? So that your guilt won’t get in the way of enjoying God. Do you know why you’re vindicated in the court of heaven? So that your condemnation won’t get in the way of enjoying God. Do you know why you have new life and the promise of a new body someday? So that you have capacities within to finally enjoy God the way he ought to be enjoyed. It’s all a means to number six, and if you want to know where I see it explicitly in the Bible, the clearest text is 1 Peter 3:18: “Christ suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God.”

So I would say Romans 5:11 and 1 Peter 3:18 are the clearest statements in the New Testament concerning God himself being the prize of the price of the gospel.

This is a sermon audio transcript from John Piper.  You can find it at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/god-in-christ-the-price-and-the-prize-of-the-gospel/excerpts/the-gospel-in-six-truths

Enjoy the Freedom of Your Redemption

Article by Jenn Hesse

You’ll never defeat this.

My mind recites this line like a broken record when ugly, deceptive sin threatens to trap me in its patterns. Because God has rescued me from my former way of living, I know I need to stop engaging in behavior that defies his will, and live in the way that pleases him.

But persistent sins like worry and pride are so entrenched in my heart that they seem impossible to overcome. I feel as though the weight of shame and guilt will always hound me since my sins are too heavy to shake off by my own efforts.

As I carry these burdens, unable to unload them, I forget the deeper truth revealed in human weakness: What I can’t accomplish, Christ already did.

He Secured Your Redemption

The author of Hebrews emphasized confidence in his letter to early Christians converted from Judaism. Through logical arguments explaining how Jesus surpassed the Old Testament models of deliverance, he encouraged these young believers to resist temptation and endure trials by holding fast to hope.

This hope is grounded in the truth of how Christ fulfilled and annulled the law of atonement under the Old Covenant, which provided a way to cover but not remove sin. In his death and resurrection, Jesus accomplished what the sacrificial system couldn’t: “He entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption” (Hebrew 9:12).

Jesus eliminated the need to try to cover sin by paying the penalty for it on the cross. When he breathed his last words—“It is finished”—he completed the work of making us right before God (John 19:30).

Knowing our salvation is secure, we can rest from striving to rescue ourselves. Instead of working hard to live perfectly in order to earn our salvation, we are free in Christ’s salvation to enjoy him and live like him, set apart by God to walk in the good works he prepared for us.

Through our great High Priest, we can draw near to our Creator without guilt or fear of punishment. He ripped the temple veil that separated sinners from a holy God and exchanged our shame for boldness before the throne. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

That’s the hope we cling to when facing our sins.

He Transforms Your Desires

Jesus set us free from bondage to sin and seals us for heaven. Yet while we’re here on earth, we still wrestle with trials and temptations. Paul talks about this struggle using combative terminology: “For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Romans 7:22-23).

Rather than remaining discouraged by and stuck in sin, we can have confidence in the ongoing work of our Savior in conforming us to his likeness. As Christ united us with himself, we now share the same Spirit dwelling within us, who is transforming us by changing our desires and renewing our minds (Romans 12:2).

What I can’t accomplish, Christ already did.

CLICK TO TWEET

With the Spirit helping us in our weakness, we consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God (Romans 6:10). By following the Spirit’s lead instead of our earthly desires, we can eagerly wait for complete restoration and bear his fruit as we do (Galatians 5:22-23).

If we allow the Word to convict us and humbly seek a clean heart, we can, like the young Hebrew believers, endure temptations because we know God is with us and for us. Even though we stumble along the way, he promises to keep us persevering in faith until we see him face to face in heaven.

He Frees You to Live

I don’t have to conquer sin by trying to control my stubborn heart. As I trust in God’s faithfulness to complete the work he began in me, I can discern the ways I’m falling for sin’s deception and ask his help to desire his will more than my own.

It will take a while, this sanctification process. Wish as I might, I can’t manage its schedule or predict the number of times I’ll trip and fail.

But by faith in Christ’s power made perfect in my weakness, I can turn away from sin, pursue holiness, and confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)—or, in a personal application, “What can I do to ruin myself?”

The sins I still battle don’t separate me from God. Jesus erased them, washed me clean, and invites me into fellowship with the Father. By his Spirit, I can choose to turn away from sin toward a closer walk with God, enjoying the freedom of redemption.

On Christ, the solid rock, I stand.

Jenn Hesse is a writer, editor, wife, and mother of two sons. She co-founded a ministry that supports women walking through infertility, infant loss, and adoption, and has a passion for equipping others to know Christ through His Word. Read more of her reflections at jennhesse.com.

Article posted at:  https://unlockingthebible.org/2018/07/enjoy-freedom-redemption/

Three Essentials for Christian Parenting

Article by Leslie Schmucker

For their Latin class, my middle school students were tasked with memorizing the Apostles’ Creed. What was a chore for them was pure joy for me. I listened to them repeat over and over the systematic presentation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That’s when I discovered it. I realized some of the students, most of whom have spent their entire school-aged lives in a Christian school, did not know the gospel. And not only did they not know it; they appeared utterly bored by it. The enormity and beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ was lost on them as they trudged through the task of memorizing the most profound truth in the universe.

Ours is an epoch in which the rains of competing worldviews are falling, the floods of untruth are rising quickly, and great may be the fall of the house we long to build for our children. Can it be that we Christian parents and teachers are failing, however unwittingly, to build our children’s faith on the solid foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ (Matthew 7:24–27)?

Three Essentials for Christian Parenting

“If you want Christ to be your child’s first love, you must make him your own.”

The contest for the hearts of our children is real, literal, and perpetually raging. The enemy does not sleep. He operates with Machiavellian brilliance. We must be intentional, relentless, and confident in our pursuit of Deuteronomy 11:19, “You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Failing to indoctrinate our children in the truth of the gospel is antithetical to loving them.

Our adversary has a canny way of wrapping sin in pretty packages. What can be done, then, to convince children that God is more attractive than anything the world has to offer?

1. Immerse yourself in sound doctrine.

Before we parents and teachers teach truth, we’d better be sure we have it ourselves. Ligonier Ministries conducted a poll in which self-professed evangelicals were asked to rate on a Likert Scale their agreement or disagreement with fundamental Christian doctrines. The sobering results led the Ligonier pollsters to conclude,

Many self-professing evangelicals reject foundational evangelical beliefs. The survey results reveal that the biblical worldview of professing evangelicals is fragmenting. Though American evangelicalism arose in the twentieth century around strongly held theological convictions, many of today’s self-identified evangelicals no longer hold those beliefs.

In her book, Almost Christian, Kenda Creasy Dean challenged, “If teenagers lack an articulate faith, it may be because the faith we show them is too spineless to merit much in the way of conversation.” That stings, but the truth remains.

This generation is woefully ignorant of sound doctrine. How, then, can “spinelessness” be avoided? Assess your time management when it comes to prioritizing Christ. Make daily Bible reading a habit. Follow faithful teachers. Your phone can be an instrument of wasted time or a tool for learning sound doctrine! Read edifying works, and study alongside other strong believers. Heed Ephesians 5:15–17 and Psalm 90:12. If you want Christ to be your child’s first love, you must make him your own.

2. Make your joy in Christ visible to your children.

“Don’t succumb to the lie that your schedule is too tight to regularly share the gospel with your kids.”

When my children were small, I made it a point to show them the resplendent and dazzling creativity of God. From a magnificent sunset to a lovely vista to a fascinating animal at the zoo, or simply a towering tree or pretty flower in our yard, I would quiz joyfully, “What is God?”, to which they’d shout the blithe reply, “A good artist!”

I wanted to make sure they recognized God’s handiwork and glorified him in his marvelous creativity, genius, and beauty. When God gives you reason to exult, share it with your kids! And don’t just do it from the mountaintop. Be sure to remind your children of God’s grace and glorify his goodness from the depth of the valleys, as well. Don’t waste a moment in showcasing our benevolent God in all circumstances. Your enthusiasm and love for Christ will make an impression on your children.

3. Present the gospel every day and in different ways.

In her talk at this year’s Gospel Coalition women’s conference, Kristie Anyabwile spoke of her grandmother, who faithfully took every opportunity to teach her about God — not through formal devotion times, or a curriculum or formula, but by simply and unwaveringly living out her convictions before her granddaughter and speaking the truth to her.

Children will not learn the gospel without hearing it. Not just on Sundays, but every day. Paul asks, in Romans 10:14, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?”

Don’t become complacent or succumb to the lie that your schedule is too tight to regularly share the gospel with your kids. When you’re driving them to soccer, tucking them into bed, walking through the mall, waiting in line at Chick-fil-A, be intentional in taking every opportunity to teach your children sound doctrine through the regular hearing of Scripture, catechisms, creeds, and doctrinally sound music. Take every moment with them captive to the teaching of Christ.

Children in the Christian Bubble

“Your enthusiasm and love for Christ will make an impression on your children.”

Some accuse Christians of keeping their children in a bubble, hidden away from reality and the world. But it is becoming increasingly clear that the so-called “Christian Bubble” is exactly where some children need to be. Not to keep them from the world, but to teach them to live as Christ-followers in the context of it. The bubble should be a strong community of believers who live and teach the absolute truth of their faith.

Only Jesus Christ has “the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). Only Jesus Christ can fulfill what we all long for. Only Jesus Christ can save our children from an eternity of separation from God. These are desperate times. We must never waver in our effort to teach our children that Christ is worth following, despite the lure and enticement of the world. It must begin and end with the gospel.

Leslie Schmucker (@LeslieSchmucker) retired from public school teaching to create a special education program at Dayspring Christian Academy in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. She and her husband, Steve, have three grown children and five grandchildren. She blogs at leslieschmucker.com.

Article posted at:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/three-essentials-for-christian-parenting

How Far Does God's Grace Go?

by David McLemore 

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” - Luke 15:1-10

The parable of the lost sheep and the parable of the lost coin are basically the same stories. In each, something is lost, searched out, and found. Jesus is making a simple point: He came to search and find the one. He came to restore that which was lost. Charles Spurgeon put it this way: 

The truth here taught is just this—that mercy stretches forth her hand to misery, that grace receives men as sinners, that it deals with demerit, unworthiness, and worthlessness; that those who think themselves righteous are not the objects of divine compassion, but the unrighteous, the guilty, and the undeserving, are the proper subjects for the infinite mercy of God; in a word, that salvation is not of merit but of grace.

Since salvation is not of merit, but of grace, God’s heart toward sinners is different than our heart often is. He’s not waiting for them to turn their lives around; he’s out there searching for them to bring them home. He’s on the move, even if they’re stuck in a cave or lost in the floorboards. He is not content to merely find the lost one; he rejoices over its restoration. God searches for and finds the lost, one by one, until all his children are tucked safely in their eternal rooms. Then, he throws a heavenly party. Who would spend such time on one sheep or one coin? It seems excessive, doesn’t it? God’s love is like that: excessive, extravagant, lavish.

The sinners and tax collectors gathered around must have understood Jesus was referring to. They were the lost sheep, the lost coin. Jesus had come looking for them, and they had been found! How many in the crowd had dined with him? How many had he healed? How many had received his smile, felt his touch, been warmed by his presence? And yet it was not to this group that Jesus directed his parables that day. He was not instructing the sinners. He was instructing the self-righteous Pharisees and scribes. The sinners and tax collectors had been found by Jesus, but the Pharisees and scribes were still running from him.

They knew the law, but they did not know God. They looked at the letter and found rules to obey without seeing the heart to love. They ventured into the world with their Sunday-best shirt starched as stiffly as possible, Bible in hand, with a smile ready to produce. But their hearts were far from God because their hearts trusted in their good deeds rather than God’s good grace. Their mind was too occupied with obedience to see a need. They were too full of themselves to be needy for Christ. They were lost and needed to be found, but they didn’t know it.

And Jesus was asking them a simple question: how far does God’s grace go? How far does his love stretch? How deep does it plunge? To the worst sinner? To the deepest depravity? To the best Pharisee? To the smartest scribe?

In each of these parables, Jesus includes two characters. The first is that which is lost. The second is the one who seeks. The lost must be found. But in each instance, the lost do not know they are lost. We have no indication the sheep understood his plight. It had no awareness of danger. It thought it was fine. The coin has no ability to see, it cannot understand, it doesn’t think. Each is lost, and each matters so much that the seeker leaves much to find the one.

The one who seeks wastes no time. The shepherd abandons the ninety-nine to look for the one. The woman sweeps the house over to uncover the coin. Time is not mentioned. Cost is not counted. All that matters is the one being returned to the many. And when it is, a party is thrown. It was not the sheep who stayed or the coins in the bank that were the cause of the party. It was the sheep that wandered, the coin that was lost and everyone was invited to rejoice.

The Pharisees and scribes don’t know how to rejoice. Instead, when they see sinners coming to Jesus, they blame Jesus for being too lenient, not for being too gracious. They miss the wonder of his mercy thinking they deserve the party instead.

What about you? Can you rejoice in bad people being made good in Christ? Is there a certain test - designed by you, administered by you, and graded by you - that one must pass to be included in God’s kingdom? The Pharisees and scribes had such a test, and Jesus couldn’t even pass it. Would your test exclude Jesus as well?

Jesus is calling the self-righteous to account in these stories. He’s showing us what his brother, James, said years later, “Judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” (James 2:13).

Editor's Note: This post originally appeared at David's blog, Things of the Sort.

David McLemore

David McLemore is part of the church planting team at Refuge Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He is married to Sarah, and they have three sons.

Article posted at: https://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/how-far-does-gods-grace-go

You Can’t Serve God and Entertainment

Article by Phillip Holmes

You love entertainment. On-demand streaming, live television, video-sharing websites, and social media are all at your fingertips. Your ability to access entertainment swiftly and effortlessly has encroached on every aspect of your life. Research recently revealed that you’re tempted to check Facebook every thirty-one seconds.

Are your friends boring you with dull conversation? Grab your iPhone. Is your wife annoying you? Turn on your television. Is your professor uninteresting? Sign into Facebook. Entertainment is your means of escape from the inconveniences of life into a comfortable world of fantasy. And your means of escape has made you a slave.

Confessions of a Slave

If I’m honest, I’ve had an unbridled love for frivolous entertainment — over the years I’ve used it primarily as a means of escape. Entertainment was used to distract me from the guilt of sin, friction in relationships, or anxiety about work. It became what daily prayer and Bible reading should have been: a safe haven to retreat for rest and comfort.

I failed to recognize that my never-ending pursuit to be entertained had turned me into a slave. My love for my new master was subtly causing contempt towards God and reticence in my duty to delight in him.

A Tale of Two Masters

In Matthew 6:24, Jesus reveals that when we gravitate toward entertainment as a means of comfort, we’re moving further and further away from our Creator. The notion of two masters is, in fact, a fictitious tale. It’s impossible to have more than one. Jesus exposes an insightful reality: Love for one will cause hatred toward the other.

If we devote inordinate amounts of time, money, and affection to anything, including entertainment, we will despise whatever draws us away. We’ve all been faced with the choice between spending time in prayer and God’s word or spending time with entertainment. At the crux of these crossroads, the all-satisfying gift of Jesus is pit against the temporal promises of entertainment. Whichever road is chosen increases hatred for the path denied.

When we choose the broad path to careless entertainment, seeds of contempt are planted for Christ. Likewise, when we choose the narrow road to Jesus, seeds of hatred are planted, not only for mindless entertainment, but all of our indwelling sin. This path reveals that endless entertainment is a cruel master that seeks to devour our true joy and lead us away from Christ, its source.

The Cruel Master

Entertainment over-promises but under-delivers. It is unable to satisfy what our hearts truly long for. We want rest. We want comfort. But entertainment can only offer a temporary fix. As soon as we wake up from hours of binging on Netflix or scrolling through social media, our problems remain, still waiting to be confronted. And we’re faced with the truth that all we’ve done is put off the inevitable.

Chasing joy in entertainment is like “chasing the dragon.” The term is a slang phrase, which refers to the continuous pursuit of an ultimate high previously obtained at the initial use of drugs.

For example, a drug user tries heroin for the first time and has an amazing experience. But when he returns to the drug, he can’t get that same experience. Instead, the experience gets weaker, so the user takes more and stronger heroin to reach that same feeling. As he “chases the dragon,” the user’s body decays inside and out. This decay usually manifests itself in extreme itching, unwanted weight loss, slurred speech, kidney or liver disease, and more.

Addiction to entertainment is similar. The physical and health effects may not be as striking as heroin, but the spiritual effects are costly. We chase mindless entertainment hoping for relief for our souls, but instead all it really can promise is death. It distracts us from the highest and ultimate good with a mirage of happiness and comfort.

Jesus Is the Good Master

In Matthew 11:28–30, Jesus invites all who labor and are burdened to come to him, promising to provide rest for our weary souls. This promise is not empty. In the gospel, he fulfills his promise by taking up our burden on the cross for our rest and joy in him.

“In communion with Jesus, we experience lasting joy that entertainment can only promise but never provide.”

I have never walked away disappointed when I’ve pursued my joy in God through prayer and Bible reading, reminded myself of his promises in the gospel, repented of my sin, and cried out to God for comfort. Were all of my problems solved? No. But my joy was restored, and my soul had feasted on his promises. Likewise, every time I’ve used entertainment as a means of relief for my soul, I was left wanting and unsatisfied.

Even still, when I find myself at that proverbial crossroads between communion with Christ and frivolous entertainment, I’m tempted to say yes to entertainment and no to God.

As we walk through life, we will be tempted to continue to engage entertainment carelessly and ignore our bondage. Some will continue to live like slaves, binging on entertainment and neglecting spiritual nourishment. But you don’t have to live in bondage.

The gospel supplies the power to say yes to God and no to endless entertainment. Here we uncover the beauty of our wonderful master and realize that Jesus is better. In communion with him, we experience lasting joy that entertainment can only promise but never provide.

The next time you find yourself at this familiar crossroads, cling to Jesus. Remember that he alone is your highest good. He died and rose so that we can experience communion with him, which provides the supreme joy that an escape to entertainment simply cannot compete with.

Phillip Holmes (@PhillipMHolmes) served as a content strategist at desiringGod.org. He is the Director of Communications at Reformed Theological Seminary and a finance coach and blogger through his site Money Untangle. He and his wife, Jasmine, have a son, and they are members of Redeemer Church in Jackson, Mississippi.

Article posted on:  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-cant-serve-god-and-entertainment

Time to Stop Praying and Reading, and Start Doing

Article by Rick Thomas

It is easier to talk theology than to live it. It’s easier to talk about your problems than to do something about them. Sometimes it’s wise to put the Bible down, get up from praying and start living what you know.

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22).

Mandy has been in a Bible study for eleven consecutive years. She loves her Bible study. It is the third Tuesday of each month from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Mandy shows up at 7:00 sharp and promptly leaves at the last “amen.” Mandy also has a dysfunctional marriage, fifteen years running.

Mark reads his Bible from cover to cover every year. Bible reading has been his passion and conviction for the past nine years. He also rarely misses his morning prayer time. Mark is married to Mandy.

As a couple, they are hitting all the Christian marks. They attend their local church meeting every Sunday, nearly without exception. They are involved in their gender groups. They are consistent in the spiritual disciplines, but their marriage has gone from rocky to rockier.

There is something wrong with their Christian game plan. It is not working. Mark and Mandy are learning but not transforming. They talk at length about their latest study or how thankful they are to be part of a local body that provides so much, but the divide between them continues to grow.

The Best Defense Is a Good Offense

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17).

After asking a few insightful questions to Mandy, it became apparent that one of the reasons she liked her structured Bible study was because it allowed her to show up, sit down, soak in, and quickly leave as soon as it ended. The structure of the Bible study did not challenge her by asking questions that probed the real condition of her life and marriage. It was mostly a sit and soak session that required little from her. She liked it that way.

Her biggest challenge was navigating the spontaneity of the break time without being engaged about the personal things in her life or marriage. Attending Bible study was her way of being in control while tacitly participating in Christianity but not being exposed or challenged. She had a false intimacy with God and her friends.

Mark accomplished similar things, though he went about it another way. Mandy would be private in a group setting, while Mark did his devotions in a private setting. Their best defense was being on the spiritual-discipline-offensive. They were hiding in plain sight.

Their stellar attendance and consistent disciplines moved them to the head of the class, but their lives were not transforming. Their marriage is inching toward increasing dysfunction, and now that their children are in the early teen years, it is affecting the whole family.

The tenor of the home has the feel of smoldering anger. Everyone “gets along” though everyone knows it’s a fake perseverance at best. Mark and Mandy figured out how to coexist in the Christian world while maintaining ongoing displeasure with each other.

This fictional story is not fictional with untold millions of professing Christians. They are involved in all the right Christian things, but Christianity is not intruding their lives in such a way that is transformational.

In most cases like this, no one ever learns the real story, not until something blows up in the marriage or with the children. When this happens, someone calls the Christian medics while the onlookers are scratching their heads, wondering how this could happen to such a stellar couple.

Discipleship Hindrances

“Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12b).

There could be many reasons for what is wrong with Mark and Mandy. Their story is certainly not an anomaly. I have counseled many couples like this and have discovered a few common denominators. Here are two of them.

No Transparency – The most obvious hindrance is they did not want to be exposed. Being transparent may be one of the hardest things for a Christian to do. Sometimes a lack of transparency is born out of a fear of being hurt or slandered.

Though it is a legitimate fear, it is one that denies the power of the gospel. The fearful person who resists transparency has not appropriately dealt with this question: Is God’s opinion of you more controlling than any other person’s opinion of you?

If God’s opinion has more control over you, then you will be less likely to hide, even with the possibility of being hurt by others. That is the power of the gospel working in a person’s heart.

Another reason for a lack of transparency is because the person is hiding some sin. Sinful living can only thrive in inhabited darkness. Nobody can serve two masters; one will have dominion over the other (Matthew 6:24). When you couple hidden sin with a fear of being exposed, you can guarantee the person will not come clean or find help. Christian disciplines will not help this kind of person, though it can provide a cover for him to operate.

Discipleship can only happen when a person is willing to be completely honest about his life. This kind of discipleship occurs in the contexts of honesty and transparency. Without these two things, a Christian is not growing but going through the motions.

Ignorance – It is possible that Mark and Mandy do not know how to disciple each other. You may be surprised to know the most common answer I hear when I ask a husband how he disciples his wife is, “I don’t know how to do that.”

If they give an answer at all, it is usually along the lines of doing devotions, praying together, or going through a book. While those things could supplement any relationship, they should not be the centerpiece of a relationship.

When books, devotions, and prayer time supplant redemptive communication, the community will deteriorate. It is rare for me to counsel a couple who has not read more than one book on marriage.

It is also rare for me to counsel someone who does not have a working knowledge of the Bible. Books, Bibles, and prayer are almost always part of what a couple has tried to rejuvenate their marriage, only to be disappointed because those things did not work. If I were to counsel Mark and Mandy, I would hyperbolically tell them something along these lines:

I want you both to stop reading your Bible, stop reading all those books, stop praying, stop doing your devotions, and start talking to each other. It’s radical, I know. You both know enough about the Bible to choke a Pharisee. You do not need more Bible knowledge, and your prayers are being hindered and rendered ineffective by God (1 Peter 3:7) because you are missing out on one of the most common-sense things you can do: talk to each other.

Knowledge Plus Application

“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:12–14).

Mark and Mandy need to learn how to communicate with each other. They both are unique people, made by God, shaped by sinful means, and in need of someone coming alongside them to unpack them according to how sin has developed them and how God wants them to be.

For example, Mark needs to set aside all his Bible reading and praying and start exegeting another kind of book—his wife. He does not have a knowledge problem; he has an application problem. He could spend the next forty years reading his Bible and praying every day and still end up in divorce court. His Bible reading and prayer life will not help him until he gets in front of his wife and they begin talking honestly and openly.

One of the reasons churches offer so many Bible studies is because it is easier to tell someone what to do through a study than it is to get into the trenches of their lives where the sin is real, feisty, nasty, and complicated. Mark and Mandy need confronting, not more information about what the Bible teaches. They need some friends who can discern their lives and are willing to cut through the nonsense and help them.

Bible studies and prayer vigils will not do this. Those things are essential, but they are passive ways for sanctification to happen. They are part of how to mature in Christ, but if they are the only parts, Mark and Mandy will not grow in Christ. They will become smarter but not more sanctified.

I’m not dissing studying the Bible or praying. I am saying if you know the Word but are not practically engaging your relationships with the Word, you’re dishonoring God and hating your relationships. People can spend a lot of time praying and studying while their families spiral in dysfunction.

I make a living counseling biblically educated Christians. There is something wrong with that statement. It should not be that way. Christian transformation is knowledge plus application, not just knowledge alone.

How to Apply

If you are a person who is not maturing in Christ or if you are in a relationship that is not growing in Christ, here are two things for you to consider.

Are You Transparent?

Without making excuses for why you are not transparent, the question is, are you transparent? If you are not, you will not mature in Christ. The gospel has the power to transform you, but it will be impotent in your life if you are not willing to engage it the right way.

Part of the right way is for you to be engaged by the gospel in the context of community. If you are not willing to be transparent in your community or if you do not have a community that can know you the way you need to be known, you will hinder your growth in Christ.

Are You Hiding Something?

Counseling can be a lying profession. People lie to me all the time. I do not personally struggle with this, though I do sometimes wonder why someone would want to meet with me to talk about personal or marital problems and choose to lie.

If you want to change, you must be honest about what is going on in your life. You cannot reveal half the cards in your deck and expect anyone to speak intelligently into what you need to change. Transformation does not work that way.

Call to Action

If you are willing to be fully transparent and put all of your cards on the table, you are in the best place to change and grow, whether personally or within a relationship (providing the other person embraces your vision and expectation for transformation).

Two individuals who are open and honest with each other can spur one another on in their sanctification (Hebrews 10:25).

Discipleship happens this way. And from that excellent starting point, it is a matter of ongoing communication.

Let’s say my fictional characters, Mark and Mandy, are being practically animated by the gospel. They have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. They are for each other and want to be a means of grace in each other’s lives. If that is where they are, here are some excellent questions that will radicalize their lives and marriage.

You’re welcome to put your Bible down, walk out of your prayer closet, and engage your closest relationships with these questions too. Pick one and start talking:

1. What is God doing in your life? How are you succeeding, and how are you struggling?
2. What are some things I am doing that are helping you mature in Christ? How do I hinder you in your walk with the Lord?
3. What are some of your fears? What do those fears tempt you to do?
4. What is an ongoing struggle you have in your life? When did it begin? What have you been doing about it? How can I help you?
5. What is something you would like to control, but you cannot control, and you struggle with it?
6. In your opinion, how does God see you? I am not asking for a biblical answer but your answer.
7. In your opinion, how do others see you? Are there certain people with whom you struggle? Why do you struggle? What do you think the Lord wants to teach you? How can I help you with this?
8. What regrets do you have? What about guilt or shame related things?
9. What hinders our relationship, and how could I change to make it better?
10. What is something that I am not asking, but you think it would be helpful for me to ask?

Now close this blog and become a practical, active doer of God’s Word.

Article originally posted at:  https://rickthomas.net/stop-praying-stop-reading-your-bible-start-discipling/