Above All These, Put on Love Part 1

By Wendy Wood

Jesus summed up the entire law in two commandments (Matthew 22:37-39) saying love God, and love others. Throughout Scripture, believers are commanded to love. We are commanded to love fellow believers (John 13:34) , neighbors (Leviticus 19:18), family (Ephesians 5:25, Psalm 103:13), and enemies (Matthew 5:44); meaning we are to love all people. This command comes from God who defines Himself as love. 1 John 4:8 tells us “God is love”. God’s very character is the definition of love. Love is not a feeling we have when we feel warmly toward someone else. Love is action oriented and is aimed at the other person’s well-being. Genuine love is a heart posture that desires the good and well-being of another person.1 When Scripture tells us to “put on love”, we are replacing our sinful habits of selfish attitudes and our sinful ways of interacting with others and replacing it with Christ-like love. Colossians 3:12-15 tells us

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Love is to be put on “above all” because it is necessary to do any of the other attitudes, actions, and words listed above. Without love, we may be able to occasionally show kindness or sometimes bear with one another, but only genuine love is a God glorifying motive for relating to people in relationship. We can only show this type of love when we know this kind of love from God. Put on then, is key. Preceding this section of verses, Paul recounts that we have been raised with Christ, we have died to sin and our lives are hidden with Christ in God. We are reminded that we will appear with him in glory. We are called to love in Christlikeness because we are united with Christ by grace through faith. As the scripture above tells us, we are God’s chosen ones who are holy and beloved. Christlike love only comes after God has opened our eyes to faith and has put within us a new heart that is able to love sacrificially. Christian love must look different from the world’s love.

Our culture has much to say about love. Sometimes we hear about “falling in love” as though love were something that happens to us spontaneously and accidentally. Unfortunately, if this is the axiom you live by, you can also “fall out of love” and no longer feel obligated to be married to or in relationship with that person anymore. “Falling in love” is an emotional high, not the high calling of selfless, sacrificial attitude and actions towards others. Countless “love songs” talk all about warm, fuzzy emotions that focus on how the person experiencing the feelings likes how they feel. This is a selfish and distorted version of love. When we enjoy the exhilarating feelings of someone new that we are attracted to, we “love” how that person makes us feel. We feel excited, or we are comforted, or we are hopeful and are happy to be feeling this way. Really, we are focused on taking care of ourselves and enjoying how we experience the relationship rather than being focused on how to serve the other person. This is not biblical love.

Biblical love is about sacrificially choosing the other person’s well being over your own. Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to “count others more significant than ourselves”. The word “count” means to consider, calculate, and to reckon. We are to choose to place ourselves below others and intentionally place their needs ahead of our own. Biblical love seeks to emulate Christ and how he interacted with others. Philippians 2:5-8 shows us the extent of Christ’s sacrificial love.

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Jesus’ love was humble and intentional. He “counted” Himself a servant to others. He wasn’t concerned about His own well-being, but rather was willing to give up His life for others.

Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). We can easily fool ourselves into thinking we are doing something out of love for others, when we are really being selfish and serving ourselves. Only what we do with the right motive (desiring to love God and please Him through loving others) will be considered God honoring in his sight. God knows our hearts and intentions perfectly (Hebrews 4:12). We cannot fool Him. Therefore, we must learn to love Him and others more from a genuine heart. We must continually be growing in loving God and others.

The importance of doing things with love cannot be overstated. First Corinthians 13 begins with saying that you can have absolutely amazing gifts of prophecy and faith, but if they are not done with love they are nothing. Worse, the picture Paul uses is a “noisy gong or a clanging cymbal”. I remember when my boys were quite small and would pull pots and lids out of the cupboard. They would bang away enjoying the loudness and cacophony of sound. I would cringe and barely be able to tolerate the sound for a few minutes. That awful, irritating, and annoying sound is what we believers are like when we act without love. We fail to produce anything good (like well orchestrated music) and additionally, others don’t want to be around us. Even to try to help someone or share the gospel with them, without love, is useless and frustrating to others. Jerry Bridges talks about putting an entire row of zeros on a paper.2 You may be able to line up 30 zeros and have a 30 figure number. What is it worth? Nothing! But put a single numeral one in front of those zeros and suddenly there is tremendous value. That is what love does to the gifts God has given us. When we are loving others from the heart, our service to God matters.

Wayne Mack compares love to a diamond.3 A diamond has many facets that make up the total value and beauty of a diamond. When buying a diamond you may consider cut, clarity, color, carats, and shape. These facets complement each other and are essential to making the diamond complete. Yet, they are all unique in the quality they bring to the diamond. Love is like a diamond. It is made up of many facets, all of them essential and unique to the way love is expressed. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul shows us the many facets of love. Without these different qualities of love, our impact for Christ will be nothing. With these qualities of love growing in us, we will bring honor and glory to God as His love is displayed through us.

I’ve already mentioned that we need to learn to love as God loves because without love our gifts and service to God are nothing. Then, after Paul explains the facets of love, he gives us another reason we need to learn to love well. First Corthinians 14:1 begins with “Pursue love”. To purse means to run after or to press on to reach a goal. Wayne Mack says, “God does not just zap this kind of love into our hearts. We must search for it, train for it, reach for it! It takes effort and sacrifice and prayer for us to be able to lay hold of this precious love.”4 We are commanded to love.

1 Maximum Impact by Wayne A. Mack

2 Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

3 Maximum Impact by Wayne Mack

4 Ibid

10 Practical Helps for Fighting Fear

Kristen Wetherell

Fighting fear is like muscle memory: The more you fight, the more and better you will fight. But what does fighting fear look like in a practical sense? Here are 10 thoughts:

Acknowledge reality.

In Psalm 56:3, David writes, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Not if, but when. A great (and freeing) place to start when you’re afraid is to acknowledge that fear is a universal human reality. Since we live in a world corrupted by sin and full of suffering, we are guaranteed to encounter what is fearful. So, it isn’t always wrong to be afraid; fear can be a God-given kindness to protect us from legitimate dangers and threats. When we are afraid, rather than condemning ourselves for feeling fear (Rom. 8:1), we can acknowledge the circumstances that brought about such a response and, when appropriate, thank God for wiring us to respond this way.

Discern the fear.

However, we shouldn’t stop there. Sometimes, our fears can subtly shift from legitimate concerns to all-consuming fixations. We can ask God to reveal when this has become the case: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Ps. 139:23, NIV). Usually, our problem with fear isn’t its existence but its enormity. Fear will arise. The question is, what weight does it hold, especially in comparison to God? Imagine a double-sided scale, where your fears are one side and God is on the other. Which side weighs more? When fear’s magnitude outweighs what is most true and real, the result will be anxiety, anger, doubt, and other bitter fruits. Fight fear by asking the Lord if it has become weightier on the scale of your heart than it should be—than he should be.

Wield Scripture.

Ephesians 6:17 calls God’s Word “the sword of the Spirit.” Hebrews 4:12 says it is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword,” and Psalm 29:4 testifies, “The voice of the Lord is powerful.” The truth is, we can’t fight fear unless God’s Spirit applies his living, powerful Word to our hearts, and this means we must engage with it. Remember, we fight fear by growing in the fear of the Lord—by our God weighing more to us than our fears—and we grow in the fear of the Lord by holding fast to his self-revealing words and asking his Spirit to impress them upon our minds and souls. So, think of ways to wield the Word. After I read my Bible in the morning, I leave it open on our kitchen counter so I can re-read it during the day. We can also memorize Scripture, write it on notecards, and share what we’re reading with others.

Stay present.

In Matthew 6:34, Jesus gives us a wise principle on fearfulness: “Therefore [because God is a trustworthy Father who promises to provide for you] do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” We will fight fear as we focus on the present and refuse to run ahead into the future. Jesus knows that too many thoughts about the unknown will overwhelm us and are ultimately unproductive: “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (v. 27). So he reminds us to take one day at a time. When you’re afraid and daunted by what’s to come, ask God to help you stay present. Trust him to supply for that particular day’s needs (v. 32). Then, when tomorrow becomes today, do it all again.

Limit media consumption.

While modern media can be a wonderful gift, it can also be an unhelpful weight. News media thrives on feeding our fears, posting sensational headlines to grab eyeballs and rivet attention. Of course, we don’t want to be uninformed, but we should consider the effects. Is the media making us more fearful and anxious? Are we spending more time absorbing the news than we are God’s Word and other life-giving resources? Fight fear by limiting media consumption and tuning your eyes and ears instead to what is “excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).

Practice thanksgiving.

I say “practice” because thanksgiving doesn’t come naturally to us; grumbling and complaining do. Since we are forgetful creatures, God constantly reminds us in Scripture to “remember”: remember his character, his works, his promises, his good gifts and new mercies, his Son. As we practice thanksgiving with our mouths—verbally in prayer, in conversation with other believers, or perhaps through writing—we will promote a posture of worship within our hearts. Rather than following our feelings and our fears, we lead our hearts by faith. We fight fear with thanksgiving and praise to the One who is worthy to be feared.

Read biographies.

When I’m fearful (and discouraged by my fears), I’ve been helped by great books, particularly biographies on believers who encountered their own fearful circumstances and learned to trust and treasure God within them. Add the following books to your pile and be spurred on in faith: A Chance to Die, Bonhoeffer, A Passion for the Impossible, Here I Stand, Amy Carmichael, The Life of Martyn Lloyd-Jones, 12 Faithful Men, and 12 Faithful Women.

Tell someone.

Fear flourishes in silence and darkness, but when brought into the light—when confessed and spoken about—it loses some of its power. We can start by telling our Heavenly Father about our fears in prayer (Phil. 4:6-7), and then we will be helped to tell a trusted friend or two. Sometimes, in the process of talking about what we’re most afraid of, we’re led to recognize untruths we have believed, unhelpful or even sinful patterns we’ve adopted, and most important, how our fears have become more weighty to us than the Lord. Wise friends will listen and then counsel us in the truth (Prov. 20:5), and we can provide that same ministry for a fearful friend.

Get outside.

King David knew the worth of creation for reorienting his gaze to the Creator. In Psalm 19:1 he writes, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.” Then in Psalm 8:3-4 he says,

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?

We can follow suit. Fight fear by taking a walk (even a trip!), and note the beauty and majesty of God’s careful handiwork. He created so we would worship him; he made so we would marvel at his glory. Let the fear of the Lord increase in your soul as you look away from your fears and to his power and beauty as revealed in creation.

Remember God’s grace.

Ultimately, fearful people need the gospel: the good news that God sent his Son into the world to restore in sinner’s hearts a right fear of him. When we are united to Jesus by faith—when we have confessed our need to be rescued and receive Christ as our Rescuer—then his presence goes with us every moment of every day, in the person of his Spirit. When we are afraid, we will fight fear as we remember God’s grace: his all-satisfying, all-sufficient supply of spiritual help. He not only saved us when we first believed, but he continues to save us as we believe: from ourselves, the temptations of this world, and from the evil one. He promises, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). So, we remember his grace amid our fears, that even if the worst comes to pass, God will give us what we need, and he will walk with us.

Posted at: https://unlockingthebible.org/2020/05/10-practical-helps-fighting-fear/

Bearing the Fruit of Kindness

by Paul Tautges

As a fruit of the Spirit, and a part of what it means to be like Christ, kindness is also an attribute of God.

• God is kind to all of his creatures. This is what theologians call common grace; that is, it is common to all—even those who reject Christ.

• The words of Jesus in Matthew 5:45 are an example of common grace: “For [God] makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

• According to the apostle Paul, writing in Romans 2:4, it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. It is not God’s harsh pressure that brings us to salvation, but His kindness, which works alongside His patience (the fruit we learned about last Sunday).

• Therefore, since it is the kindness of God that leads us to the repentance that results in salvation, kindness is most appreciated by those who are saved. And not only is it the kindness of God that leads us to salvation, but day-by-day we continue to see multitude ways in which God is kind to us.

God is even kind to his enemies, as Jesus says in Luke 6:32-36.

If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

When you find a Christian who is truly humble and kind to all you have found a jewel, since kindness is less common than we realize. I laughed out loud when I read how one Bible dictionary defines kindness. Kindness is an “attribute of God and quality desirable but not consistently found in humans.” Sadly, this is true. We live in a mean world. But what is most grievous of all is when those who claim to be followers of Christ are downright mean-spirited and unkind. Brothers and sisters, it should not be this way. Of all people in the world, we should be models of kindness.

Defining Kindness

The definition that I will use in this blog post is from one of my systematic theology textbooks: “Kindness is expressed as a tender, gentle concern for others that actively seeks out ways to serve them.” (Biblical Doctrine, page 376).

These expressions of kindness are present in the tender ministry of Christ, who did not come to be served, but to serve. Jesus was tender, not harsh. The only exception to this was when He was dealing with the religious leaders who opposed the authority of God and His Word. His kind and gentle spirit is especially made clear in the only place in the Four Gospels where Jesus describes himself.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

This kind of gentleness is a mark of Christlikeness. According to 2 Corinthians 6:6, kindness is also a mark of an authentic minister of the gospel. In the first letter to the Thessalonians, the apostle Paul described the ministry that he and his companions had this way:

For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.

1 Thessalonians 2:7

If we are to be like Christ then we must grow the fruit of kindness. In Ephesians 4:32 we are commanded to be kind to one another, as part of the outworking of the gospel in our hearts.

Four Truths about the Fruit of Kindness

In this passage of Scripture there are four truths about kindness, which God wants you to understand and apply to your life.

1. Kindness reveals new life in Christ (Eph. 4:25-29).

2. Kindness requires help from the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30).

3. Kindness replaces harmful deeds of the flesh (Eph. 4:31-32).

4. Kindness reflects the love of God (Eph. 5:1-2).

Kindness is very important to God. It is an area of character development that He expects us to authentically display as fruit of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. It is a mark of spiritual growth and maturity. And so important is kindness to God that He says it is more important than performing religious sacrifices to Him.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Posted at: https://counselingoneanother.com/2020/05/17/bearing-the-fruit-of-kindness/

Loneliness Has Been My Faithful Friend

by Steve DeWitt

While most will remember this year for a virus, many also will remember the emotional pandemic of isolation and social distancing. The effect in the human heart is an emotion we call loneliness. In one recent survey, 44 percent of respondents said they are now lonelier than they’ve ever been. With all the closures, cancellations, and stay-home orders, it’s no wonder why.

Nine years ago, I was in my early forties, and still single. As a senior pastor in a large church, my life was a swirl of people. And yet I went home to a quiet house every night. I was not only lonely in a crowd, but lonely while pastoring a crowd. At the time, I wrote an article about what years of unwanted loneliness were teaching me about God. I heard from many readers who resonated with my experience. One reader was a single woman in Kansas City. We had mutual friends who had sent her the article. A year later, we married.

This past decade has allowed me to consider loneliness more through my long-term singleness, but now also through my years of marriage and parenting. Am I still lonely? Yes, and I’m glad that I am.

Glad to Be Lonely

You’re glad you still feel lonely? Yes. What a relief to find I am made for much more than a wife and children. This may seem like inverted thinking, but then again Jesus often does that when he teaches, inverting our normal human perspective. Growing in our faith is largely the art of renewing and re-forming life, values, and experiences as God intended them.

This brings us to the pandemic of human loneliness. Clearly, loneliness is a result of sin. Adam and Eve were made for perfect harmony with God and each other. Sin brought alienation from both. When God asked Adam, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9), what Adam sensed inside was a painful chasm and response: “God, where are you?” Like him, we often don’t know just how much we have till it’s gone. Adam felt a painful surge of vertical emotional emptiness; harmony with God was gone. The Adam and Eve marital blame game quickly revealed horizontal harmony had also vanished (Genesis 3:12–13).

Sin created loneliness, but we must realize loneliness itself isn’t a sin. In fact, loneliness can be a divine grace. Rightly understood, it can be both our friend and our guide.

Valley of Loneliness

Wisdom requires us to view loneliness inversely and respond to it rightly. For the couple of decades I lived alone, my loneliness seemed not like a friend, but like an enemy. It served to remind me of my past failures in relationships — relationships I had assumed would take this painful feeling away. Therein lies the lurking danger of loneliness: if it’s not your friend, it is likely a destructive adversary in your life. We all know people whose self-isolation is their coping mechanism for either the absence of relationships or the agony of relationships (Proverbs 18:1). For them, loneliness becomes a kind of canyon to live in instead of a valley to walk through.

While loneliness is easy to see in society’s recluses, most of us live in a general relational malaise hoping someone comes to take our loneliness away. To paraphrase Henry David Thoreau, most people live lives of quiet desperation. With this pandemic, the quiet desperation in most homes is an even more lonely desperation.

How to Receive Loneliness

Loneliness is part of the inner architecture of our image-bearing. It acts like sensors in our car to tell us when something is missing — oil in the engine or air in the tires. We were made for God and for community with each other.

In this fallen creation, no human relationship will satisfy that longing fully. Our ability to be satisfied in God fully is impossible as well. Because of indwelling sin, our salvation is incomplete as we await glorified bodies and the fullness of joy in God’s presence (Psalm 16:11; 21:1). Till then, no matter our marital status, our circle of friends, our closeness with children and grandchildren, we will always be somehow lonely. My appeal as someone who has lived a long time both single and married, without children and with them, with a healthy church community and dear friends, is to see loneliness in this life as a kind of gift from God.

As hunger urges us to eat and thirst drives us to drink, loneliness presses us to a deeper and more authentic relationship with God and others. It drives us out of the gravitational pull of self-living toward relational self-giving. Rather than resenting loneliness, it will bless us if we see it as a God-placed incentive for human flourishing (Acts 20:35).

If I could talk to my old single self enduring another holiday alone at home, I would say, “You are putting too much hope in what a wife and family can provide.” I’m happily married. I love being a dad. But when we think our longings will be met if we only had this person or that relationship, we will respond to loneliness with destructive isolation and disappointment.

Let Pain Motivate You

Loneliness hurts. God embedded prickly reminders of how wonderful harmony with God and others is. The pain is a measure of the loss. Not all pain is bad. When I work out, the pain tells me I’m doing something good for me. It’s good pain. Loneliness can be good pain if I construe it rightly. What does that look like?

Loneliness creates internal energy. I can use that energy to brood in or resent my loneliness. Or I can take that energy and intentionally reach out with it. This requires discipline and self-control as my flesh urges self-destructive responses. Christians are blessed, by union with Christ and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, to resist the flesh’s desire to weaponize loneliness (Romans 6:4; Galatians 5:16–17).

We really can make loneliness a weapon for positive change in our lives.

Turn Loneliness into Expectation

Over many years of singleness, I would secretly assume that I felt this internal pain because I was alone. I eventually realized there is often a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Alone is the mathematical reality of one with no plus. When you are alone and lonely, it is easy to believe that a spouse, or family, or church family will drive loneliness away. My experience, however, echoes Scripture’s teaching that 1 + 1 ≠ the absence of loneliness. The common graces of marriage, family, sex, and children are very helpful in the daily struggle. Yet even the best moments of marriage and parenting and friendship always lack something; the moment of harmony passes too quickly. The warm feelings of care slip away. Human relationships ebb and flow. Even at their best, we sense that something is missing.

For this, we should rejoice. We should be glad to realize that the best of this life leaves us wanting something more, longer, and better. As wonderful as these earthly gifts are, the fact that they don’t satisfy makes God’s promises to fully satisfy us forever even more astounding. It means our joy in him and each other will be better, deeper, and yes, happier (Philippians 1:23). Every loneliness on earth is an internal confirmation that our greatest relational joys lie ahead of us. Absence should make the heart look forward.

This doesn’t blunt the pain of loneliness, but it does assure us that this pain is part of the fleeting and temporary world that is passing away (1 Peter 1:24–25). Our future is completely free of loneliness and filled with relational fullness far beyond what we can imagine. The next time loneliness shows up, thank God that your loneliness powerfully reminds you of the glory of what lies ahead for you with him.

Steve DeWitt is senior pastor of Bethel Church in Northwest Indiana, a host of the media/radio ministry The Journey, and a Council member of The Gospel Coalition. He is the author of Eyes Wide Open: Enjoying God in Everything. He and his wife, Jennifer, have two girls.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/loneliness-has-been-my-faithful-friend

Nine Steps to Absolute Sovereignty

John Piper

(John Piper was asked ‘Can Jesus calm any storm just because He calmed a storm while He was here on earth?” Here is PIper’s response.)

I have at least nine premises to get to the conclusion that Jesus today rules over all storms, everywhere, at all time. Yes, I do believe that. I believe the Bible teaches that. Let me give you my nine premises.

1. Jesus is the Son of God.

When the disciples saw Jesus still the storm, the conclusion they drew was not simply that this particular miracle was an isolated event from a random Jewish teacher. They drew the conclusion that this was a particular kind of person. They saw his power as general, not specific. They said, “What sort of man is this, that even winds [not wind, but winds] and sea obey him?” (Matthew 8:27). The answer in Matthew’s context, the answer to their question that Matthew wants us to draw — so, this is a teaching of the Bible — is this: he’s the Son of God. That’s who he is. That is the sort of man he is.

So, rightly understood, the stilling of the storm is a revelation of who he is, and therefore it’s general. That sort of man doesn’t just luck out in this scenario, like, “Whoa, look at that. It actually works.” He doesn’t just luck out sometimes in his ability to see and still storms. It’s a general statement: the winds and the sea, in general — that’s the kind of man he is — obey him. That’s my first premise: the Son of God is the sort of person who can do this.

2. Jesus is unchanging.

Hebrews 13:8: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” He has the same power in 2020 that he had in the first century. He is still that sort of person.

3. God oversees even what seems insignificant.

This same Jesus said to his disciples, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father” (Matthew 10:29). I’m assuming that Jesus acts in concert with his Father here. They’re not at odds with each other, like “Oh, the Father can govern the fall of sparrows, but Jesus, he can’t. He’s out of step with that; he can’t do that. Only the Father can do that.”

“What happens ‘in the seas and all deeps’ is owing to ‘whatever the Lord pleases.’”TweetShare on Facebook

What the Father does, the Son does, Jesus says (John 5:19). And he says that the Father oversees, governs, the fall of every sparrow — which is an illustration of the most insignificant event Jesus could come up with at the time, I think. Like ripples on the sea. Jesus could’ve said, “Not one ripple happens in the sea apart from your Father,” instead of “Not one sparrow falls to the ground.”

If someone says, “This only means God watches the sparrows fall, but doesn’t govern it,” I would say that in the context of comforting the disciples as they are being killed — that’s the context: “They’re going to kill your body; don’t worry; I’ve got you” (Matthew 10:16–28) — in the context of being killed, that is zero comfort. “Oh, my God watches, but he can’t do anything. My God is inactive. He’s powerless.” I don’t think so. That’s not what’s going on here. This is not just saying, “Hey, God watches while you get killed. He can’t do anything, but he just watches. Take heart.” I don’t think that’s what Jesus meant at all in the context of Matthew 10.

4. Jesus Christ upholds everything.

Paul says that the reigning Jesus, who is the same forever and ever, holds everything together (Colossians 1:17). Hebrews 1:3 says, “He upholds the universe by the word of his power.” The world is not like a clock that Jesus wound up, set to running, and then watches from a distance, and has no involvement in it. Psalm 147:8 says, “He prepares rain for the earth; he makes grass grow on the hills.”

Jesus is holding every wave and all the wind in being. He’s holding it in being. He’s got the whole world in his hands. It seems highly unlikely to me that he would be holding a tsunami in being as it rolls over a village, but that he has no plan for it as it rolls over the village. He’s got it totally in his hand, holding it in being. He could flatten the tsunami at any moment because he holds it in being. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” There’s no way. That is not the way God thinks.

5. God’s will always comes to pass.

Paul says in Ephesians 1:11 that God “works all things according to the counsel of his will.” Not some things — all things. His will — not our will.

6. God does what he pleases everywhere.

Psalm 135:6 says, “Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps” — which is where earthquakes happen that cause tsunamis. When it says “in the seas and all deeps,” this is not a limited statement. It says that what happens “in the seas and all deeps” is owing to “whatever the Lord pleases.”

7. God gives and takes.

When anyone dies in a tornado or hurricane or tsunami, this is not an exception to the reality described by the writer of Job and James when they said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away” (Job 1:21), and “You ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that’” (James 4:15). We will survive this tsunami or we won’t. We will live and do this or that — if the Lord wills. Life and death are, finally, in the hand of the Lord. The natural causes of death are in the hand of the Lord, like wind and waves.

8. God is never capricious.

If we believe the Bible, and if we believe the Bible teaches the foreknowledge of God (which I do), then when he foresees a tsunami heading for a village or a virus heading for a pandemic, and he permits all that he sees, then this permitted act is part of his plan, since he could have stopped it. He doesn’t make such choices to permit or to stop whimsically or aimlessly. He is infinitely wise. He makes such choices to permit or not to permit wisely — that is, according to the counsel of his will.

9. The Bible plainly and pervasively teaches God’s absolute sovereignty.

I have texts for all these, but I won’t read them. The sovereignty of God in the Bible over all things is pervasive and all-encompassing. You don’t have to logically infer it; it’s just everywhere. It says he governs

• the wind,

• lightning,

• snow,

• frogs,

• gnats,

• flies,

• locusts,

• quail,

• worms,

• fish,

• sparrows,

• grass,

• plants,

• famine,

• the sun,

• prison doors,

• blindness,

• deafness,

• paralysis,

• fever,

• every disease,

• travel plans,

• the hearts of kings,

• nations,

• murderers,

• spiritual deadness,

• and on and on.

And they all obey his sovereign will. My confidence that Jesus rules all waves and all seas is not based on his stilling one storm, but on his being the Son of God, who is God, and who Scripture teaches works all things according to the counsel of his will.

Posted at: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/does-christ-govern-every-storm?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=18d667e1-6bec-4408-94bf-14999d2ecacb&utm_content=apj&utm_campaign=new+teaching&fbclid=IwAR0XYQRL0eC_DDsqw2TuSV0UFqUKY0DV8K1r-kEss39ahQ7G6kjG2uJrr3U

Fatherly Discipline

By Dale Johnson

Fatherhood is simultaneously an esteemed privilege and a daunting assignment. When your brand-new infant is placed in your arms for the first time, your heart is overwhelmed with joy. At the same time, the weight of responsibility can be crushing as you load your vulnerable baby in your car and into your care. This journey of fatherhood is one of navigating the balance between that overwhelming joy and fearful responsibility.

The picturesque perfection of that fragile child seems innocent enough, yet their hearts will bear weeds as sure as the summer garden. It’s hard to believe they are born sinners and will need the corrective oversight of a father. The real task of fathering, loving and corrective discipline, becomes more apparent once he begins totting around and his sinful nature plays peak-a-boo. Men may respond to this God-given responsibility in several different ways. Some men want to disengage from that responsibility, repeating a sinful pattern of manhood that began with Adam in the garden when he abdicated his responsibility to protect against evil. Other men, however, are eager to engage in the task of disciplining their children. For those men who choose engagement there are pitfalls that can hinder effective discipline. Let us first identify a biblical understanding of discipline before we discuss its potential snares.

The Call to Discipline

To my knowledge, the only negative command given to fathers in the New Testament is “do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In Ephesians 6:4, Paul is warning fathers of a most pressing obstruction to the maturity of their children; provocation to anger. The path to maturity for a child is paved with godly discipline and instruction. Based on common practices, we often interpret this passage simply to mean we need to spank our kids and bring them to church. While church attendance is a priority, we must cease to consider it enough when it comes to instructing our children. Similarly, discipline is not limited to spanking, but rather embodies the idea of enculturation. Deuteronomy 6 prescribes fatherly teaching that consumes mundane daily life in order to instill a Godward orientation within the child. The child should be encouraged to think of all knowledge and life experiences with a keen view to God’s perspective. We are to train them to be wise according to the kingdom of God rather than the worldly wisdom with which we are so tainted. As J.C. Ryle reminds us, “The time is short, the fashion of this world passeth away. He that hath trained his children for heaven, rather than for earth, for God, rather than for man, he is the parent that will be called wise at last.” (Ryle, 9) Discipline encompasses the call of Deuteronomy 6 to be with our children and consistently point them toward a Godward orientation. Not only does this take intentional fatherly action, but we must also address several temptations that will hinder effective discipline.

Snares of Effective Discipline

Anger

Satisfied that you are at least trying to be involved, the flesh is religiously appeased when you engage your children out of anger. The evil one is best at tempting believers to do the right things in the wrong ways. Unfortunately, there are many ways to provoke a child to anger and many dangers as a result. Provoking a child to anger can sever the relational heart strings between father and child. The devastation of the distance this brings between the father and child is broken trust, often resulting in a child who is more likely to rebel against his father’s instructions rather than turning his ear toward his words. (Proverbs 4:20)

We are tempted to discipline out of anger when we want to impart truth to our children without grace. Sinfully, we often care more that our message is heard rather than understood. The child will tend toward conforming outwardly, but inwardly builds disdain toward parental authority and instruction. This may lead your child toward legalism, but not heart transformation.

The flip side of that coin is to discipline with extreme grace minus truth. This is a veiled hatred toward the child, choosing rather to keep him momentarily comfortable in his foolishness. Being ignorant of the truth and accustomed to following his own pleasures the child tends to rebel against God’s loving commands or instruction provided by those acting in authority over him. Either of these two pitfalls provoke a child to anger and hinder the effective discipline of their foolish hearts. (Proverbs 22:15)

Self-Delight

Our discipline is always out of delight, but is that delight in the child or in yourself? Discipline motivated by love demonstrates delight in the child (Proverbs 3:12). However, genuine fatherly concern for our children is often tainted by our selfish pride. A father may be tempted to discipline a child for getting in the way of his own selfish desires, rather than for a particular disobedience. When we discipline from delight in our own way we respond in anger toward our child for hindering our self-pleasure. Death to self dismantles the father’s flesh desires in order to discipline out of delight for the child’s well-being.

Self-Preservation

Ironically, a father’s use of anger to control or tame his child is a demonstration of his lack of self-control. That rotten fruit is born from the seed of self-preservation. In many cases we are trying to preserve our perception of ourselves as a wonderful father. As J.C. Ryle warns, “This is pre-eminently a point in which men can see the faults of their neighbours more clearly than their own.” (Ryle, The Duties of Parents, 2) We are often blind to our own faults in this area.

It is not unusual for children to act like children in public; they spill drinks at tables, throw tantrums with impeccable timing, and disobey when crowds are watching. Those moments unveil a glimpse into a reality with which we would rather not deal, so we dearly cling to faulty thoughts that we are nearly perfect parents and that our kids are reflections of that perfection. In order to preserve that deeply jaded view of ourselves we respond to our kids out of anger, not caring so much to correct their misbehavior, but rather to preserve a reputation of our imagination built out of pride.

Discipline Like the Father

I wish I had a more difficult time thinking of illustrations of my own failures as a father. But the truth of the matter is the struggle against our own flesh is a real and consistent battle. Thankfully, our Heavenly Father demonstrates loving discipline for earthly fathers. God gave himself for our good not to improve his own status, but to restore us. In the same way, our discipline is for the sake of the child and not primarily for the sake of the parent.

Discipline in Kindness

The wrath of God is not the primary motivation that leads us to true change. Understanding the wrath of God is critical to grasping the depth of God’s kindness in Christ. It is, however, God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). As a father, kindness toward our children shepherds true heart and mind change. Pervasive kindness keeps a child’s heart open to instruction (Proverbs 16:21).

Discipline in Love

How much must we hate our children to recognize a hindrance to their growth and remain silent? The consequences of a child’s disobedience are far worse if the parent sits by silently without pursuing correction. Because in the end the child’s character will be self-will, pride, and conceit.[1] We must engage as fathers, but we must engage with love. True biblical discipline is motivated by love for and delight in the child and not by anger (Proverbs 3:12).

Faithful fatherly discipline is possible only when the earthly father has been so disciplined from above. Mimic the heart of the Heavenly Father in his kindness and love toward you. Godly discipline seeks good for the child beyond the immediate moment. The love of God seeks us with truth to unveil our faults but demonstrates grace by seeking us when we go astray. Genuine love is expressed toward a child when truth is swaddled by grace. The truth reveals the brokenness of heart and grace seeks to restore and mature the child in wisdom. The purpose of discipline is to make your child wise unto God and delight in his ways. Discipline lovingly done takes immense sacrifice and self-denial. In the end, to discipline with love and sacrifice is to teach a child wisdom unto God, resulting in a glad heart for the father (Proverbs 15:20).

[1] Ryle, Duties of Parents, 21.

Posted at: https://biblicalcounseling.com/fatherly-discipline/

Ten Reasons to Love and Trust Jesus

By: Pat Quinn

In our perilous time of pandemic, disruption, and death, Jesus shines forth with hope-filled and glorious love and power. As counselors today, we share the same circumstantial fears, frustrations, and isolation as those we counsel, and we need the same Jesus we commend to them. Mark 5:21-43 records two stories of Jesus dealing with seemingly impossible situations: the healing of the woman with an incurable discharge of blood and the raising of Jairus’ daughter from the dead. Both of these accounts point to a Savior who is utterly reliable and unfailingly strong in the most trying of circumstances. These two stories provide ten solid reasons to love and trust Jesus Christ in the hardest situations.

Ten Reasons to Love and Trust Jesus

1. Jesus is compassionately responsive to urgent requests for help.

Jairus, a ruler of a local synagogue, pleads with Jesus to come and heal his dying daughter. Mark records simply, “And he went with him” (Mark 5:24). No hesitation; no request for information. Jesus responds immediately. He could have healed her right away from a distance and said, “Go home; your daughter will live.” By agreeing to go with Jairus to his house, there would be a delay and then a costly interruption and, therefore, an extended time for Jairus to have to wait anxiously. This reminds us that Jesus always hears and responds to our cries for help, but the timing and method of His help are in His sovereign hands. Delays and frustrating interruptions may come but cannot ultimately hinder His work.

2. Jesus is absolutely undaunted by “impossible” situations.

There are three increasingly difficult situations Jesus deals with here. First, a daughter at the point of death—urgent. Second, a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years who had spent all her money and had only gotten worse—desperate. Third, during the delay dealing with the woman, the daughter dies—beyond all help. However, Jesus is unfazed by the escalating problems. Sickness, incurable disease, and even death do not trouble Him. As He told His disciples later, “All things are possible for God” (Mark 10:27).

3. Jesus calls needy sinners to engage with Him face-to-face.

As Jesus follows Jairus, the woman with the discharge of blood touches His garment and is immediately healed. Jesus perceives that power had gone out from Him and asks, “Who touched my garment” (Mark 5:30)? The terrified woman comes forward and tells Him what she did, probably expecting to be rebuked for touching Jesus when she was unclean. However, Jesus unexpectedly reassures her. Why did He call her out of hiding? I believe it is because Jesus doesn’t merely want to help people; He wants to make disciples. This is important in our counseling troubled people. The ultimate goal of our counseling is not just to help people work through their problems, even with Jesus’ help. The goal is that they would see His glory, love Him, and follow Him in committed discipleship.

4. Jesus responds powerfully to the “touch of faith.”

Verses 27-29 says, “She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, ‘If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.’ And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body she was healed of her disease.” She heard about Jesus, she sought Him out, and she “touched” Him in faith. This describes well what we attempt to do in biblical counseling: point people to the real Jesus, showing through scripturally faithful and creative means who Jesus is, what He has accomplished, and what He promises to do. Then we seek to lead them sensitively to actually touch Him in faith-filled prayer. Every sincere cry for help, however feeble, is touching Jesus. And it always results in a response from Him. Like Jairus, it may encounter delays or unexpected hindrances. The answer might not be exactly how and when we pictured it, but Jesus promises that if we ask, it will be given (Matt. 7:7-11).

5. Jesus confirms and commends genuine faith.

I love how Jesus responds to the woman’s faith. As she comes “in fear and trembling,” anticipating Jesus’ displeasure at her presumption, He says to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease” (Mark 5:34). Marvel at His gifts of grace: He tenderly calls her “daughter;” He commends her faith in front of a crowd that would earlier have looked down on her, thus restoring her to community; He offers her the peace that has eluded her for so long; He confirms her healing and the new life she has been given. This is the Jesus we connect our counselees to—the gentle Healer who “took our illnesses and bore our diseases” (Matt. 8:17) on the cross and who longs to give new life to those who reach out to Him in faith.

6. Jesus confronts fear and despair with, “Do not fear; only believe.”

I’m so thankful that the Bible is utterly realistic. While the story of Jesus (and all who are united to Him by faith) ends with the happiest of all happily ever afters, there are surprising setbacks and discouraging plot twists along the way. Jairus, who has been anxiously waiting for Jesus to finish dealing with the woman, is now confronted with, “Your daughter is dead: Why trouble the teacher any further?” (Mark 5:35). This is what life looks and feels like sometimes: things are desperate, we cry out to God, and then they get worse. They seem to go from difficult to desperate to improbable to impossible. How striking that Jesus speaks what sounds like a crazy command to Jairus: “Do not fear; only believe” (Mark 5:36). How can Jesus say this? How can we believe in the face of death itself? Jesus knows what we often forget or simply struggle to believe: He is the Son of God, the resurrection and life (John 11:25), the all-sufficient Creator and Redeemer. He has the power to raise the dead! How important for us to meditate long and hard on the character and power of Christ so we can commend Him to hopeless counselees.

7. Jesus radically reinterprets hopeless situations.

Death is final. It’s the end of life and the end of hope. It’s the final loss of everything. So how does Jesus address death? What is His interpretation? Again, His reply is shocking but shockingly hopeful: “Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping” (Mark 5:39). Why does Jesus say this? If the child had been hooked up to a heart monitor, it would have flatlined. He says this because to Him, death is merely sleep, and He can wake her by calling gently to her and telling her to get up. That’s what it means to be the Son of God. You see everything differently because you have all power and authority in heaven and earth (Matt. 28:18). Biblical counselors have the privilege of connecting our counselees’ stories to Jesus’ story so we can help them reinterpret their circumstances in a realistic yet hopeful way. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, our lives are ultimately comedies, not tragedies, and this story helps us interpret them that way.

 8. Jesus tenderly raises little ones to new life.

“Talitha cumi…Little girl I say to you, arise” (Mark 5:41). One of our granddaughters is named Talitha. When her mom was pregnant with her, there was a time when they thought they had lost her. Thankfully, that didn’t turn out to be the case. One of the reasons they named her Talitha was because they felt like they had received her back when they thought they had lost her. Needless to say, the name Talitha and this story are precious to me. I am drawn again to the power and tenderness of Jesus. He radiates compassion for this family, love for this little girl, the power to raise the dead, and a burning desire for all to see Him as He is and trust Him with what is most precious to us.

9. Jesus cares about our most practical earthly needs.

Most of this story soars in the stratosphere of Jesus’ transcendent power over sickness and death. We are breathing the air of heaven and walking on holy ground. I smile, therefore, when at the end of this amazing story, Jesus tells the parents to “give her something to eat” (Mark 5:43). From the heights of heaven to the mundane needs of the earth. “She looks a little pale. Why don’t you make her some lunch.” He responds to our desperate cries for supernatural power as well as our ordinary needs for food and drink. This is an important reminder to me as I counsel. I am wired more to attend to spiritual needs. I need to remember and remind my counselees that Jesus cares just as much for our practical needs. What a Savior!

10. Jesus is utterly amazing in every way.

This story is an eloquent testimony to the beauty and greatness of Jesus. It impresses upon us that the only reasonable response to Him is to be “overcome with amazement” (Mark 5:42). The goal of our counseling can be nothing less than grateful worship and joyful service to our Redeemer and King.

Ten reasons to love and trust Jesus: let us commit ourselves to learning, living, and lavishing them on those entrusted to our care.

 Questions for Reflection

1. What do you see about Jesus in these two stories that moves you to love and wonder?

2. Think of someone you’re counseling who is facing desperate circumstances. Which of the ten reasons does this person especially need to see and take to heart?

3. How can you help him/her to see Jesus more clearly, love Him more genuinely, and trust Him more fully?

Posted at: https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2020/05/11/ten-reasons-to-love-and-trust-jesus/

Droughts Expose Our Idols

By: Jim Newheiser

When we lived in Southern California, we observed that the weather there tends to fluctuate between extremes. Some years the rain would be plentiful, then there would be years of drought. There’s a lake near where we lived, which during years of abundant rain would swell to the top of its banks and flow under the freeway. During years of drought, the water level would recede so much that the lake no longer made it to the freeway. When the lake was high, it would look beautiful. When the water receded, the lakebed would be exposed along with trash and debris that had accumulated there—not a pretty sight.

In a similar way, a circumstantial drought can cause the lake of our contentment to recede so that our idols, which had been hidden under the waters of our prosperity, are exposed for all to see—like a junky car that had been previously hidden in the lakebed.

During times of drought, we can learn to be content by following the Apostle Paul’s example: “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11b-13).

Our nation has just come through a decade of economic prosperity. When the year began, we had nearly full employment. The stock market was at an all-time high. Wages were rising. The economy was growing. You could say that the lake of our financial circumstances was overflowing. Paul says that there is a “secret” to living in the midst of “plenty” and “abundance.” Perhaps he is thinking of the warning in Proverbs that riches can be spiritually dangerous because we can be tempted to be proudly self-sufficient and forget our dependence upon God (Prov. 30:8-9; also see Matt. 19:24). How did you fare in recent years when you were tested by prosperity? Were you, like the Philippians, generous towards the Lord’s work (Phil. 4:10-11a) and those in need? (2 Cor. 8:1ff)? Was heavenly treasure more important to you than earthly wealth (Matt. 6:19-21)?

With the sudden onset of the pandemic, many of us have found ourselves in a time of drought. Tens of millions of people have lost their jobs. Thousands of businesses are on the verge of bankruptcy. People approaching retirement have seen their life savings decimated by sharp drops in the stock market. Some are concerned about foreclosure or eviction from their homes. Our freedoms of movement are being restricted. Perhaps for the first time in world history, churches all over the world have been unable to gather on the Lord’s Day. Many are living in fear of death from the virus. And perhaps the greatest challenge is that the future seems uncertain and possibly very bleak. We don’t know when the pandemic will end or if life will ever return to “normal.”

For many of us, this sudden change in circumstances can be like the drought in which the calm waters of our prosperity recede and our previously hidden idols are exposed. Perhaps we thought we were trusting God, but now that our idol of financial security is threatened, we have become worried and fearful. Perhaps we thought we were content, but when forced to reduce our lifestyle, we become dissatisfied. Our idols of materialism, comfort, and control may also be exposed. This should especially be humbling for those of us in the West, where it is highly unlikely that we will be without food, clothing, and shelter.[1] Yet, we may be tempted to be miserable if our vacation plans are canceled, we can’t eat out as often as we previously did, we can’t afford new clothes, we have to rent an apartment rather than owning a large house, our favorite cut of meat (or brand of toilet paper) isn’t available at the grocery store, or if our Amazon orders don’t arrive the next day. Many of us have an idol of comfort and can be quite upset when it is threatened.

When our idols are exposed by a drought, we are given the opportunity to smash and remove them. We need to learn, with Paul, the lesson of contentment. Paul learned the secret of facing hunger and need. Such contentment does not come easily or naturally. Both James and Peter (James 1:2ff; 1 Pet. 1:6ff) remind us that God uses trials to expose and refine our weaknesses. The author of Hebrews teaches that even Jesus, who was completely sinless, still had to be matured in His humanity through the trials He suffered. “Although He was a son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered” (Heb. 5:8). If Jesus had to learn obedience through His suffering, how much more necessary our trials must be for our sanctification.

While I don’t know all of the reasons God has allowed a pandemic, I am convinced that for many of us, one purpose is to teach us the secret of contentment in all circumstances. Paul, who was a model of joy and contentment even as he was in prison facing possible execution, teaches us how we can grow to be more content.

1. Rejoice in the Lord (Phil. 4:4). Rather than trying to find happiness in our idols, which are crumbling in the present drought, learn to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps. 34:8). The joy of the Lord is our strength (Neh. 8:10), which cannot be shaken by circumstances.

2. Don’t worry (Phil. 4:6a). Trust God that He who feeds the birds and clothes the grass will also provide for you, His child (Matt. 6:25-34).

3. Pray (Phil. 4:6b). Cry out to God to meet your material needs and strengthen you spiritually during these troubled times.

4. Give thanks (Phil. 4:6c). Take your eyes off your troubles as you remember and specifically declare all of God’s past and present goodness and faithfulness to you.

5. Focus your thoughts on the best things (Phil. 4:8-9). During times of great trial, it’s easy for our thoughts to be consumed by our troubles. We can consciously choose what to think about. I have been combatting my own fears by reading extra Psalms each day.

6. Trust God to give you strength (Phil. 4:13). “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” is one of the most famous, but misused verses written by Paul. He is not talking about winning a sporting contest or running a marathon. Rather, he is talking about how Christ strengthens him to be joyful and content while in a prison cell, facing possible execution. If Christ can do that for Paul, then He can help us to live with the much less severe deprivations of being quarantined and the much lower likelihood of death.

7. Do today what needs to be done today (Matt. 6:34). For my last point, I will go from Paul to Jesus, who, when teaching us to trust God instead of worrying, said, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” We are living with great uncertainty concerning the future. We shouldn’t waste immense amounts of time and energy uselessly feeding our anxiety about what we cannot control. On the other hand, each day we wake up with responsibilities we can and should fulfill—to care for our families, love our brothers and sisters in the church, and perhaps to look for work. It is wise to focus upon what we can do now while trusting God for what we cannot do about tomorrow.

Don’t be shocked if the present pandemic drought has caused the waters of your comfort to recede, thus exposing your idols. Rather, see this as an opportunity from God to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances.

Questions for Reflection

1. What idols in your life have been exposed by the drought of the current pandemic?

2. Will you seek to learn contentment in these areas?

[1] It is very likely that the pandemic’s impact in developing countries will be a much greater impact in terms of deprivation, suffering, and death.

Posted at: https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2020/05/06/droughts-expose-our-idols/

A Christian Marriage: What Is Not and Should Be Unique?

BY BRAD HAMBRICK 

Sometimes when I hear Christians talk about marriage, it sounds a bit idealistic. Some of the “if you do things God’s way…” promises feel a recipe for happily ever after. The logic seems to be that because God created marriage, Christians have a leg up on everybody else for having a satisfying marriage. But if that were actually true, then the divorce rate between Christian and non-Christians would not be as closely correlated as they are.

There are times when our ideals can make us naïve to key realities that challenge marriages. If this happens, one of our primary assets (i.e., truth) becomes a liability (i.e., truth inaccurately used to reinforce a false perspective). That is the goal of this reflection – to help us avoid that liability. I want to consider 5 things that are not unique in Christian marriage and 5 things that should be unique.

5 Things that Are Not Unique

1. Intelligence and Other Aptitudes

Christians are not smarter than non-Christians. We don’t score higher on IQ tests or the SAT. This is true for other aptitudes as well. Christians fall across the spectrum of relational intelligence, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, perspective taking, and other aptitudes at the same rate as non-Christians. Whatever advantages that exist for being strong and disadvantages from being weak in these areas are faced proportionally by Christian and non-Christian marriages.

2. Annoyances

Christians are just as quirky as non-Christians. We have our idiosyncrasies and pet peeves like everybody else. Young Christians are immature (i.e., lacking life experience and the perspective of age) just like young non-Christians. We each have odd habits, interests, and fixations. Simply put, Christian spouses get on each other’s nerves just as much as non-Christian spouses. Whatever challenges and interferences personal annoyances bring to a marriage are equally experienced by Christian and non-Christian marriages.

3. Income

Christians exists at everyone point on the economic spectrum; just like non-Christians exist at every point on the economic spectrum. There are challenges and temptations created by poverty. There are challenges and temptations created by abundance. In order to arrive at a mutually satisfying marriage both the Christian and non-Christian couple are on equal footing here. Neither has an inherent advantage over the other.

4. Stress

Life is hard for the Christian and non-Christian couple alike. Each new season of life has the same uncertainties regardless of one’s faith commitment. All couples make decisions wanting more certainty about the future than they can have. Changes in the economic or political climate of a culture affect Christian and non-Christian couples relatively equally.

5. Love for One Another

Both Christian and non-Christian couples get married because they love one another. Neither get married with the intent to make the other person miserable. Both have a vision for a happy family that cares for one another. At least until one spouse gets upset with the other, both Christian and non-Christian couples make decisions to bless one another. When things go sour, either can become vindictive.

What do we learn from this? Christians do not have a “home field advantage” when it comes to marriage. We face the kind of challenges with the kind of abilities and resources that every other couple face. You could easily add to this list. If nothing else, this reality should make it easier for us to relate to our non-Christian friends and for them to relate to us. Honesty about the things that make life and relationships hard should be a point of common ground that builds trust through authenticity.

5 Things that Should Be Unique

1. Honesty about Faults and Weaknesses

Christians should be more honest and more quickly confess when our sin offends our spouse. The same should be true for our weaknesses. The entry point of the Christian faith is admitting our sinfulness and inadequacy. Being quick to own our faults should be a major advantage for a Christian marriage. Frequently saying, “I was wrong,” should give life and validity to the words, “I love you.” Owning our faults and avoiding defensiveness is a major marital advantage when we live consistent with our faith.

2. Grace towards Faults

Christians should reflect the grace they’ve received from God in how they respond to the faults of others. Our response to the faults of others should create an environment where the words, “I was wrong,” are more easily spoken because we know they will be received with grace. How quickly we own our faults and give grace to the faults of others is a key marker of a gospel-saturated home environment.

3. Being Known

Christians do not ask their marriage to be their church. Christian couples live in community with other Christian couples who are seeking to honor God in their marriages. This means two things: when things get hard, Christian couples (a) have people they trust to talk to and (b) are willing to listen to what those friends say. To say this another way, because Christian couples recognize how sin biases their perspective, they are teachable and intentionally avoid living in isolation.

4. Growing in Virtues

Christians are regularly pursuing character formation. Because of our salvation, we know we have a duty to grow in Christlikeness and, when our hearts are right, we delight to do so. Christians don’t just pursue “professional development” in our career and greater skill in our hobbies, we regularly and intentionally seek to be more Christlike. Christlike character qualities serve as a protection for a marriage.

5. Purpose

Christians don’t just share common interests with their spouse, which are subject to change with each season of life. We share a common purpose that gives shared meaning to our individual interests. Our greater commitment to Christ and the gospel should prevent our individual interests from becoming so important to us that they begin to create division and disinterest between us.

Do Christians do these perfectly? Absolutely not. But these things are central to what it means to be a Christian. Embracing the necessity of Christ’s life-death-resurrection as the necessary payment for our sin results in these things. These qualities can be present regardless of our intelligence, abilities, quirks, income, stressors, or the rise-and-fall in our love for one another (see list above). These are things that people who know us more than casually should be able to observe.

Conclusion

Here is the challenge I will leave you with. Is your marriage distinctive in these five ways? If you are a Christian, it should be. If the answer is no, I would challenge you to consider whether you have a Christian marriage, or just happen to be two Christians who are married. Being a Christian should positively impact our marriages.  It is through these marks of being a Christian that God protects and blesses our marriage. If you find you are resistant to these markers of a Christian marriage, I would encourage you to consider whether the problem is your resistance to God’s design (for marriage and your life) rather than your spouse (blame shifting) or irreconcilable differences (giving up).

These five areas also serve as a way that you can intentionally enrich the distinctive quality of your marriage. To circle back to where we started, too often we can fall into the trap of thinking a Christian marriage is one without challenges, because “after all, if we did it God’s way, wouldn’t it work smoothly.” I hope this reflection help you set that mindset aside and opens up more authentic conversation about how you can enrich your marriage.

Posted at: http://bradhambrick.com/a-christian-marriage-what-is-not-and-should-be-unique/

PLEAD TO GOD LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT—BECAUSE IT DOES

Shar Walker 

When life gets hard, I find myself turning to slave narratives and Negro spirituals and poetry. That, and the book of Psalms.

The Negro spirituals remind me I come from a long line of men and women who have endured horrific seasons of excruciation that seemed eternal. These songs and poetry are evidence of my ancestors’ hope and faith that God heard them, even when it felt like their suffering had no end—even when it seemed like God was silent. It’s comforting reading and singing about the perseverance of others.

The Psalms remind me that my spiritual lineage goes back even farther to God’s people who are no strangers to lament (Ps. 6:6; 13:1–4; 102:1–11). From wilderness wanderings to prosperity to conquest to exile, the Israelites knew suffering as a close—and often unwanted—confidant.

THE POWER OF LAMENT

When we feel helpless, out of control, or scared, some of us are tempted to go into action mode. We do everything we can to ensure our suffering is minimized with little collateral damage.

But what if our first response was to sit in our mess and pray to God? What if, instead of trying to fix this, we were honest to God how we’re doing and what we’re feeling. What if we simply lamented?

Lament is crying out to God with no immediate hope of relief. Or as Canadian writer Jen Pollock Michel describes lament in Surprised by Paradox:

In language that seems hardly admissible in God’s throne room, as men and women pray to God, they try making faithful sense of the mystery of their suffering—and the love of God in the worst of circumstances. Lament, with its clear-eyed appraisal of suffering alongside its commitment to finding audience with God, is a paradoxical practice of faith.

In America, where we have come to expect prosperity, lament likely seems strange to many of us. Foreign, even. Biblically, there is a powerful history of lament—in the wilderness, throughout Psalms, during the exile.

As our hands crack from the ever-growing stain of soap and hand sanitizer and we breathe recycled air through masks, the current season of pandemic presents the joyous opportunity to have our faith strengthened through this foreign, but ancient, form of prayer.

REMEMBER GOD’S TRACK RECORD—IT’S GOOD

We’re forgetful beings. We’re prone to absent-mindedness. When life is good we tend to feel like we don’t need God.

We’re equally prone to forget God’s track record of faithfulness when things are bad because grief easily overwhelms us to the point where we can only see the despair of the moment. Looking forward—to the ever-growing ambiguity of the future—only causes more anxiety. The stress of what is can cloud our memory of what was. Sadness can blur our recollection of how God has shown up in the past.

In Psalm 44—a corporate psalm of lament—the psalmist begins by reminding readers of God’s goodness, a truth that had been passed down for generations. Truth celebrated by the covenant community. “God, we have heard with our ears—our ancestors have told us—the work you accomplished in their days, in days long ago” (Ps. 44:1).

We worship the same God as our spiritual ancestors. When we read stories that are thousands of years old and we hear the miraculous ways God showed up for his people, we can easily assume a “that was then, this is now” mentality. And yes, in some exegetical circumstances, this is true. Yet he’s still the same God. When moments come that make it hard to see God in our present times, we must not forget to look back. In her book, Michel goes on observing:

Lament was carried on in these acts of remembering. Whenever it became difficult to see God in the present, these ancient men and women conjured up scenes from the past. They let their story part the clouds of divine obscurity and tell them something about God’s nature.

Israel told and retold the story of their deliverance. They recalled and passed on to generations the narrative of God’s faithfulness despite their failures. Perhaps, in this season you need to be reminded of the Lord’s character. Remind your church how God has provided for you and been near to you in past seasons of suffering. As a church, remember and thank the Lord for the previous seasons of corporate trials you have endured.

DESCRIBE YOUR FRUSTRATION TO GOD IN DETAIL—HE CAN HANDLE IT

“Have you been honest with God about your disappointment?” I was shocked by the question from a trusted friend. I was more surprised that my answer was “no”.

Prepping and planning comes naturally to me in the face of unexpected change—prayer doesn’t. Honestly, I’d vented in my head and to my husband a bit, but I didn’t do much beyond that. There were people who have it much worse, so why complain about my small issues from the stresses of working from home with an infant?

But God doesn’t keep score when listening to our prayers. When we’ve completed our lament, he doesn’t follow up with, “Well, that person has it way worse so you should be grateful.” His ever-listening attentiveness is saying, “Tell me more.”

In Psalm 44:9-16, the psalmist details Israel’s national distress: “You hand us over to be eaten like sheep and scatter us among the nations” (Ps. 44:11).

Humiliation, disgrace, and shame are upon them as an unwanted covering. They felt the weight of all this humiliation, disgrace, and shame. The psalmist holds nothing back in his outpouring to the Father. Telling God of the present disaster and distress opens up an opportunity for one to recognize his merciful response. Again, Michel is so helpful here:

There is every indication that God’s mercy is as reliable for suffering that is banal as for suffering that is big. And this is one of the great mysteries of divine love, that I need make no defense for the worthiness of my trouble and the rightfulness of my need.

Of course, there are times we should be more grateful, but biblical lament invites us into an honest and vulnerable conversation with the Lord, no matter how seemingly big or small our problems.

PLEAD TO GOD LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT—BECAUSE IT DOES

Lament can feel like we’re praying to an empty room. We pour out our hearts to God, and it feels like he is silent. The psalmist exclaims, “Wake up, LORD! Why are you sleeping? Get up! Don’t reject us forever! . . . Rise up! Help us! Redeem us because of your faithful love” (Ps. 44:23, 26).

Over and over the psalmist comes back to the Lord and makes his pleas known boldly and clearly. In fact, his prayers of lament and his pleas to God are evidence of his faith.

Our faith in God likewise is strengthened through persistent prayer. After all, we keep returning to the throne room of grace because we believe God is still with us and hears us amid our trials. As soon as we forget this, our suffering appears unbearable.

At times, our life is full of tear-stained pleas to God. We come back, again and again and again, through prayer. We call out knowing he has a proven track record, realizing he can handle all our frustrations. We can cry out to him in honest petition.

He’s a God who hears, and he is a God who sees. He has heard the cries of our spiritual ancestors. Let’s lament knowing he hears our tear-stained pleas as well.

SharDavia “Shar” Walker lives in Atlanta, GA with her husband and son. She serves as the Senior Writer for the North American Mission Board (NAMB). Shar is a writer and a speaker and is currently pursuing an M.A. in Christian Studies at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. You can find more of her work at www.sharwalker.com.

Posted at: https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/plead-to-god